Twins - Snellville, GA

We have twins and belong to the CPOMC (Cobb Parents of Multiples Club) Without that group support I don't know what we would have done. I can't tell you how much I've relied on them! Let me knw if you'd like to talk more about it.
JF

Please call your Dr~! Women are programmed to be super women but this needs a Dr visit. It's really ok to tell him/her and Zoloft, Paxil or E (drats, can't think of the name, I took it too!) are all good. They don't make you dopey, just help.
Talk to someone!!! You are feeling the normal hormones of pregnancy and your body is working on getting itself back. Most of the time this happens and you don't realize it....this time you do.
Two babies are a lot to handle and you might need to call on family members to help or a couple of friends. They don't need to be there all the time, just a couple hours-anything to relieve some stress.
My friends son & DiL had a single and she was 15mo when the full term twin bro/sis arrived. I'm not sure how the Mom did it, but she did. I know she had help come in a few times a week to just get the laundry going, floors vacuumed and grocery shop. This might mean 3 different friends and that's ok, too. Even someone to watch the kids while you take a nap!
Sounds like the babies are still very new and it will take awhile to get a routine in place that includes all 3 as evenly as possible. You will get there!
Congratulations on the twins! What a blessing and a joy.

Hi! I have two sets of twins, so I definately can relate to those feelings of frustration and being overwhelmed. It will get better. The first three months are the hardest. By the fourth month we had ours on a schedule. That means waking them even if they are sleeping to eat on a schedule, and go down for naps/nightime at the same time everyday. I agree you have to sleep when your older child is napping (having them all nap at the same time is great). Don't worry about keeping the house up. Your sleep is more important. It will get better, and you will feel better about everything as time goess by. It helps if you can elicit help from those who are friends or church members, since you don't have family members close by. I can't stress enough with two, you have to be on a schedule or you won't have any sleep or just time to yourself. Good luck & if things do not seem to be getting better, you should see your OB/GYN and tell her about your feelings. It might be that you need a little something extra to help with all those hormones out of whack. Good luck!

Hang in there! My daughter was 2 when my twin daughters were born- exhaustion is all I remember (they will be 23 and 21 next month!) My oldest just KNEW one baby was hers, the other twin mine! To a certain extent, I let her "help" and it eased the jealousy bit, since one twin was "hers!" I had to explain that we needed to share every once in a while (poopy diapers!) and she was okay with that. The best advice I can give you is to find someone you trust to come over in the afternoon and let you SLEEP at naptime with your older daughter- pay someone if you can! Make nap time with her story time, cuddle time, etc. YOU take a nap, too! Even if it is just once or twice a week for an hour or two. Someone to do nothing but take care of the twins and you take care of your oldest and yourself. If anyone comes to visit at that time, just have the sitter explain this is not a good time, come later. Turn off the phone, and enjoy your oldest. They will have their ups and downs, let the older one help as much as possible- hold a bottle, get a diaper, etc. She can also help by reading them stories as well and singing to them with you. GOOD LUCK

Congratulations on your twins! Oh, yes, they are a challenge, no doubt about it. You have another young child to care for as well, right? The number one thing I would recommend is to get some help from friends, church members, or family. Not only do they help physically, but their company brings emotional and spiritual help as well. I can testify to this. We have no family locally, but I received much help from our parish. Just ask! Let people share their time and talents with you. Physically, be sure you are getting outside in the sunshine (which is incredibly healing). You are probably out of balance nutritionally as well as being sleep-deprived. If you have a few extra dollars, get checked out by a naturopath or chiropractor (who specializes in nutrition). Some nutritional supplementation will certainly do no harm. Pharmaceuticals deplete your nutritional stores even more! Be careful. Were it not for the supplements that supported my thyroid and adrenals (food-based supplements, that is), I would probably still be a walking zombie. My twins, now 3, keep me active (!) and laughing. I was 42 (almost 43) when the twins were born. I'm thriving and you can too! Remember your blessings!

I have twins that will be 2 in October (a boy & girl). I was really sad when mine were born because I had them at 28 weeks and they both were a little less than 3 pounds. It was really scary. I was more scared during my pregnancy than I was after they got home because daddy does just as much caretaking as I do... sometimes more. I work full time during the day and he works in the evening. They stay at home with him during the day until I get home. Having help is how you won't get overwhelmed. We also have a 3 other children; 15, 10 & 8. None of them were jealous; they were always so excited. Our twins stayed in the hospital for 7 weeks before they came home so it's was the hardest thing I had ever been through. We have our twins on a schedule where they do everything at the same time... eating, sleeping, playing etc. This has been the easiet way to handle them. At first, it takes some time to get them on the same schedule but consistency is the key. This way, you have some time to yourself.
As far as your daughter, its a phase. Alot of small children are jealous when siblings are born. Include her with the twins as far as helping with feedings, changings, etc. This will make her feel a part of the family instead of her feeling like they have taken her place. This will also help mature her and make her feel like a big sister. I hope this helped. Congratulations & God Bless! Twins are so much fun!

You should talk to your doctor about possibly using something to help with your blues and anxiety. I had AWFUL anxiety after having my 2nd child (my first was 2.5 at the time and not particularly happy with the new addition). I, too, felt like I had ruined my relationship with my oldest, and I was completely unprepared for that feeling! It broke my heart, but I also loved the new one. I felt like I was being torn. A lot of that comes from your hormones going nuts for awhile after pregnancy too -and lack of sleep. It will drive you crazy! Don't be afraid to try Zoloft or Paxil or whatever your doctor recommends as an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety drug. You don't have to stay on it forever if you don't want to, but it can make a huge difference in your life post-partum!

Congratulations on your new twins, and hang in there! Things will get better and you'll start enjoying it all, but don't rush it. Don't feel like you have to have everything back in place immediately. I FINALLY feel like I'm hitting my stride again, and my newest just hit 9 months old. However, taking Zoloft from the time he was 2 months until he was 6 months made things SO much better for me! My now 3 year old is being much better to his baby brother. It's taken some time, but sometimes you have to give it time.

I have a 4yr old girl and 6mo boy/girl twins and just found out we are expecting again! As others have said, the first three months are the hardest. Get through that and I promise it gets easier! Make sure your husband is helping you when he is home! He may need sleep, but you need your sanity! I noticed that my 4yr old would start acting up when she wasn't getting enough attention. Really try to make your daughter your partner. Have her bring you a diaper or wipes. I would even have mine sit on the couch next to me and prop the baby up on a pillow and she would feed a twin and I would feed a twin. Tell her how proud you are of her and what a great big sister she is. Mine really loved and still loves hearing that. She is like a second mother to the twins and has never been jealous of them. Yours is a little younger than mine was, so it may just be a maturity thing. When she did drive me crazy, I'd send her over to a friend's house to play for the afternoon.

As for dealing with the twins, I have made sure to keep them on the same schedule. They eat, sleep, and play together - even still. If one wakes up, feed them and then get the other up and feed that one. Don't even think about keeping up with house chores! Sleep when they sleep! Ask friends to fix you some casserole dishes so you don't have to worry about dinner!

Best of luck and hang in there! You'll come to adore having two sets of eyes staring up at you and two precious smiles to wake up to!!!

First let me congratulate you for making it to 37 weeks! I made it to 36. My twin girls are 6 years old my first and only so I cannot really help with the jealous factor of a sibling. All I can suggest is perhaps letting her participate in caring for the twins as much as possible. This I think not only "helps" you out but will make her feel as though she is a part of everything and I think girls have a natural tendency to "want" to "mother". Not all but most. This will also help her develop a relationship with them as well.
Next, IT WILL BE OKAY-YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. If I did-anyone can. Try to get as much help as possible-where are all those friends at the baby showers and stuff that offered their help-take them up on it girl.
One of my girls was born with Jaundice too-be sure to take them outside a few minutes a day and it will be fine. Mine were born during the winter so you have an advantage! Does your older one still take naps? Try to get them all on the same napping schedule that way you can lay down too-don't worry about the other stuff-it'll still be there when you get up and it's not going to hurt nobody to leave it there so you can catch some zzzz's - if they don't understand that then Oh well. I had to get up every 2-3 hours with my twins by myself-hubby was not much in the picture when my twins were just babies but he is getting better now of course as most men do. If you can afford to do so hire someone to come in to care while you get some much needed rest even if just for a couple of hours-also do you have a local M.O.P.S (Mother's of Preschoolers) or Mommy's Morning Out-take advantage of those too. Also remember that you and hubby need time to yourself-schedule a sitter whether it's a friend, family member whatever you need that time together....very important it's so easy to just get lost in the kids and caring for the kids and everything else in between.
I personally got my twins on the same schedule because it just worked out better for me. When one would wake up to eat I would feed her and change her and then irregardless if the other was sleeping- I would wake her up to feed and change. My mother helped me A LOT but i understand most are not that lucky. This too shall pass my dear and we are ALL here to listen to you vent. If you need anyone to talk to there are several "Multiple Mommies" here to help you along the way. Enjoy them because they will grow so fast and you will actually "miss" these days believe it or not. Twins are so much fun and I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING else. I was truly chosen by God just as you were for some reason-don't understand why sometimes but I am so very blessed and I thank God everyday for my double blessings or gifts from him.

First of all, let go of any preconceived notions of the way things should be and always remember that your best is good enough! You WILL get through it. Remember that the first year is just about survival. You do what you need to do just to get through. What works for singletons probably won't work for twins. It'll be trial and error for you.

OK, so first I would say that you need to get them on a schedule. When one wakes up to feed, you need to wake the other one and feed her too (or one right after the other). That is your first key to survival or you won't get any sleep! My husband was good at helping out at night. We'd each take a baby.

Next rule of thumb and one that is hard. If someone offers to help, accept it! And make a list of things that need to be done. Don't let them come over and sit around, give them something to do!

Regarding the older sibling, it really is hard for them (and you). Their whole world is turned upside down. And no, it will never be the same. Try to make some one-on-one time for her. Both your husband and you can take turns watching the babies so that the other can take her out to do special things alone, go to the park, etc. Try to make time to read with her one-on-one when the babies are napping during the day. Even grandma can help with this. My daughter would spend the night with Grandma and she felt grown up.

Join a mother of twins group for support. It helps to get out and talk to other moms or go for playdates. Mine is Gwinnett Mothers of Multiples, but there are several in the Atlanta area.

Things will never be the way that they used to be. You will have to get used to a new normal. You may not be able to do everything you did before or the same way. It's o.k. You will adjust. Things do get better...

My twins are 5 years old now and starting kindergarten and I wonder where all the time went!

T.

P.S. You will definitely feel tired and sleep deprived and overwhelmed, but if you continue to feel sad and cry a lot, you may have post partum depression and should see a doctor.