Trying to Keep It Together

Being tired and having children be children isn't easy. Knowing how to respond to every situation is possible. You are the adult and some strategies I employ which may be helpful to you. I do believe in spankings for two reasons and two reasons only, dishonesty and defiance.

The splashing of the water is easy, if they are big enough to make a mess they are big enough to clean the mess. Doesn't really matter how old they are. Age just means you will need to supervise the clean up efforts.

So all that lovely water would have been cleaned up by the little darling including cleaning up the towels or mop, the tub, sink, and toilet. This clean up comes with a discussion of why we don't splash the water out the tub especially intentionally.

I hope this helps you get it together. I would also get some help with the kids from friends and/or family. Develop relationships with other moms or dads that can step in, help you out and give you the break you need from time to time.

You're in a tough spot. We've all done things in the heat of the moment that we regret. You have to allow that you are human and sometimes we have to admit it to our kids as well. When you are ready, you can talk to him about temper, and how you both have one. He also has to realize that there are consequences to his behavior (although when you are calmer you can think of something better, I am sure, like cleaning up the water and maybe the whole bathroom?). I don't know what exactly the behavior issues are, so filter my advice through what you know of your son. I don't know of many kids who are good at predicting "what will happen if I do ...", but they have to start learning to think about things before they do them. And for all children, it usually takes 850 times of repetition before it sinks in. So let go of the guilt. It's not helping you or him. Think of a plan for going forward for both of you.

Hi E.:

He's mirroring your own desire to be rebellious and spontaneous. Do something fun and spontaneous for yourself, often and consistently, and I believe you will see a shift in his behavior.

All the best,
N.
Holistic Healthcare Practitioner
www.WholeCreations.com
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Hi,
You didn't say how old your child was, but in any event, my advice is NEVER HIT ANYONE. You're sending the wrong message. We have to be one step ahead of our kids at all times to preempt their "bad" behaviors. It's a challenge...but you have to be present in the moment so you can see what's coming. ;)

Good luck!

It is HARD being a mom, isn't it? I have lost it before--it is so hard to keep your cool sometimes. Your son does sound normal. I didn't read all the replies, but what I sometimes do with my son is fill the kitchen sink with water and some soap, then I put down towels, or a shower curtain, and let him "wash" his toys. This keeps him busy for awhile (of course I am in the room). Your son is probably like mine--loves anything hands-on and to make a mess! Another thing that works is putting down a table cloth or shower curtain on the floor--give him cups of water, about 1/2 full. Put some food coloring in some of the cups, and give him a few empty cups. Let him pour and mix. I also have used a paper plate and put dollops of shaving cream on it--then add food coloring. GIve my son a piece of paper and let him mix and "finger paint" with the colored shaving cream. That kept him busy for almost 2 hours--a record!!!

Well, I have a few ideas, Do not hit him. Next time you want to hit him for one of these outburst try swinging your arms through the air or brush your arms off. Don't let him know what you're doing. just do something strange and clean up the mess while singing a cute song you enjoy. It may throw him off guard at least temporarily. You may want to figure out if he's looking for attention or if he's just trying to get a rise out of you. If he's looking for attention he may continue as bad attention is better than no attention at all. If he's looking to get a rise out of you, these positive reactions may make him tire of his games & he will stop acting like this. Please try to teach yourself to act and not to react. It may be the answer to keeping it together. I hope this is helpful!