Trying to Keep 6 Year Old at a Healthy Weight

M., I think you're doing a fantastic job. No joke. You're doing everything you can to show her how important it is to have a healthy lifestyle, and not focusing on how she LOOKS. You should be proud. Keep it up.

Sounds like you are doing a great job and congrats on all of your weight loss!!

Here is the thing, if you deprive her of "fun foods" at parties and play dates, she will become a sneaky eater. My rule is in the home or made at home - all good nutritious foods. If at something like a party - then have some fun snacks. Moderation is a good rule.

Keep up the good job!

BTW - hula lessons?? I love it!!

I think you should talk to a dietician about your daughter's diet (ped should be able to recommend one). And to a therapist abouty your own issues with weight.

I admire all the hard work you have done to lose weight - but you also sound like you still don't have a healthy attitude about food (worrying what moms think you feed her, you have a lot of guilt and worry about eating habits, etc). The last thing you want to do is unconsciouly pass unhealthy attitudes about food on to your daughter. Unhealthy ideas can be as difficult to deal with as unhealthy food habits. I am not saying this to make you feel bad, but it sounds to me like you need some support and a few appointments with a counsellor who specializes in food disorders might be just what you need to get some strategies to use going forward.

Very narrow answer to your question- as regards the McDonalds at 4:15 and dinner at 6:30. You could have let your daughter have your approved mcdonald's choices - plain cheeseburger apples milk - with the family, then served her lighter fare at your house for dinner. It doesn't matter what order she gets her snack/ dinner so long as at the end of the day, and in the long run it all balances out.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I wish you hadn't had a weight issue. I think perhaps you are focusing on her food intake a bit too much. Not in a super bad way but in a way that's.....so focused.

So what if she's bigger than other kids right now? That doesn't mean that she's not going to be 6' and weigh 115 lbs when she's 21. She is eating healthier than a lot of kids her age and she's still large?

Did you get that? She's eating less sugar and fat than a ton of other kids and she's still heavier? Taller? Fatter?

Then it's not what she's eating. It's her body and body style/type.

My friends daughter is like this. Mom rants to this girl day and night about what she eats and what she looks like. The mom is not skinny or fat. In between. The older sister was similar but not quite as heavy. Big sis is about 5'10" now and weighs above twiggy. She's not thin by any means but is not in a plus size pant.

This friends daughter went out of town with the dad for a long weekend. When she came back it was obvious she'd gained weight. The mom yelled at the dad for 3 days about him letting the girl eat what ever she wanted for 4 days and that now none of her clothes fit.

The daughter went to bed one night and it seems like the next morning she'd grown 4 inches taller. She'd had a growth spurt and was back to her size before but even a tiny bit thinner. But in the mean time she kept hearing about how fat she was and how she shouldn't have been able to eat and have fun with dad. Yes, that's what she got out of her mom saying she didn't eat healthy on vacation with dad. She felt fat and ugly and not wanted. Not that she needed to eat healthier but that she was fat and ugly and unacceptable.

Kids eat and pack it on then they grow wider. They have their growth spurt and won't eat for weeks/months then they start packing it in again and get heavier. Then they shoot up.

It seems like you are so focused on what she's eating that you're possibly just too focused on what goes into her mouth.

The McDonald's thing? ME? I'd have told kiddo what was for dinner and asked her if she wanted to eat with them or come home to eat.

Take it easy. Cook wholesome good foods and show her what healthier eating is about.

You are feeding her good food. She's overweight and big. SO? She bigger than other kids. SO?

That's just her body. Keep teaching her but stop being so focused on food.

She is built the way she is built...it sounds to me like your doing everything you can but you do need to know when to stop projecting your health issues onto her.

You are not crazy for wanting good food and not chips or sugary drinks but it's the guilt hooked into it that is making the situation hard. It's so basic and easy to eat right but it's all the emotions that people hook onto it that makes it complicated. Something that you need to learn is health is not a "look" it is what you put into your body and what you do with your body. She eats well and is active...she is FINE. So now your focus needs to be on what you can do to change your own perception

Don't feel bad about what you are doing; you are just trying to help your daughter’s overall eating habits and that start when they are young. Both myself and my son's dad are overweight but we were skinny kids/teens so when I noticed my son getting a little heavy, I said, hey, I better stop and control this now. I knew he would thin out a bit as we are both very tall and he will be well over 6-2 when he is in High School but the habits have to start early. Watch out for the sugary drinks, they carry a lot of hidden sugars. My son is very active but I will say because we were very careful about his foods, and keeping him active, now that he is actually growing super tall, he is thinning out a lot. He lost about 12 lbs. on his own. And he looks great, he feels great too. One more thing, you have to eat healthy too. I couldn't ask my son to eat salad if I am not eating it. They really watch what you do, so I started eating salad, and Romaine lettuce stalks as snacks and my son started asking for the same snacks and loves them now. When he asks his friends moms to make him a plate of cucumbers, they think he is crazy, but that is what he likes. We never talk about diet, we talk about Healthy eating, eat this not that and how to make up for eating a bad thing, with a healthy thing so he does not deprive himself. Also, portion control is the huge thing. Good Luck, you are on the right track and don't feel guilty, it will all work out, just remain positive about it and use the buzz words like… Healthy eating kick… etc.

I think you need to talk to her friends' parents before you send her on play dates. Explain to them what you're trying to do and to please not serve candy or sweets when your daughter comes over to play. Offer to send healthy snacks with your daughter and include enough that she can share with her friend. Ask them not to take her to McDonalds and just to bring her home if that's what they're doing (you made the right call last time). My son is 6 and this never happens on his play dates. They are served fruit and crackers on play dates. Low fat cheese sticks would be ok, though my son is allergic so no one has cheese when he goes over to play.

I think you should talk to a nutritionist and her pediatrician. It sounds like you are working really hard to make the right food choices and keep her active, but given your family's history and the fact that she's already 72 lbs means you might need to do more.

Is it possible she's eating too much? Even if you eat all the right foods, having portions too large can still cause weight gain.

On the days when she doesn't have an organized sport or activity, spend 30-60 minutes just playing at a park in the afternoon. Normal play can burn lots of calories and it can be good for kids to exercise in an unstructured way. If she doesn't ride a bike or a scooter, get one. She and her friends can ride around the neighborhood on their play dates instead of playing at home.

I honestly think you are doing everything you can.
The main thing to keep in mind is that a meal or sugary snack here or there will not throw her out of whack, even with a slower metabolism.
If she is eating healthy meals and snacks most days/week, 2-3 unhealthy ones during a week will not mess it all up.

Keep in mind that 3500 calories = 1lb. With how little she is, that's a lot of extra for her to take in that would cause her to put on weight. So you might be able to just use some basic math and plan meal-wise for what you think she'll have coming up. For ex: a basic happy meal with cheeseburger and fries is about 400 calories. Add milk and it's 500 calories. So maybe you can work on that for a baseline and make planned choices that way?

I think you are doing a great thing to be proactive about your daughter's eating habits! I, too, am becoming more aware about my family's eating habits. My husband tends to give our kids more junk, but I try to follow the 80/20 rule. If we can eat healthy 80% of the time, then we can allow for some junk food every now and then. That seems to be ok with my kids. I also read you can pretty much eat anything, sparingly, as long as you make it at home. For example, french fries. If you make them at home you are much less likely to use the amount of oil, salt and other high caloric, no nutrient value, processed ingredients used in restaurants. Clean and peel the potatoes, sprinkle with Himalayan sea salt an fry them in coconut oil. Not only will the fries taste just as good as in a restaurant, but you will also benefit from the many nutrients in the salt and coconut oil.
Here are some great websites and facebook pages I follow for some great tips and healthy recipes:

www.foodbabe.com- Vani Hari is awesome! She does all kinds of investigations about popular restaurants and food items that we think are healthy, but actually are not. She is the one that got the food giant Kraft to take out toxic dyes from their mac 'n cheese. Currently, she is butting heads with Subway because they use a toxic ingredient in their bread that is a form of plastic used in yoga mats and shoes. Yummy.

www.mercola.com- lots of good information on natural supplements and ways to keep your body at its healthiest.

www.Mywholefoodlife.com- awesome recipes!

www.100daysofrealfood.com- excellent source for ideas for kid meals and how to pack wholesome school lunches.

www.drbrownstein.com- another holistic source to eating healthy and fighting off everything from the common cold to cancer.

www.fastmetabolismdiet.com- Haylie Pomroy has some great recipes in her diet book and just came out with a new cookbook. Seriously. Her version of Strawberry French Toast is both healthy and heavenly!

Hope this helps!
A.

It sounds like your daughter is perfectly healthy. Her dad is 6'2 and you are 5'8. She sounds as if she took after her dad in height and bone structure.

This is the time in life when you have to be careful of what you say to a child so that they don't develop eating disorders. Daughter is eating enough to sustain her without you worrying about a change once in a while in the diet. Harping on what she eats is not fun and she could tune you out. I had an aunt I lived with who always was on me about my weight. I turned out fine and was not overweight once I hit puberty.

Please get help for you. Congrats on the weight loss. You are still thinking you are larger than you are. It does take a bit to realize that you are half your size. I recall feeling like I had to have two seats but only needed one on a bus once. It was right after I lost a lot of weight being active.

Good luck to both of you.

the other S.

oh my gosh, I am the first to jump on people when I think they are focusing too much on what their kid looks like, wears or eats. But Lady,! you aren't!!

Your Dr TOLD you her BMI was too much, oh sorry that was in the SWH. ok, no more caps for me, but even from your original question. you admitted that she was chubby, that there was a real concern, not just that she was tall and solid but that she weighs way over what she should for her height. so number one, this isn't just in your head that you need to keep an eye on her diet.

and number 2 you are being moderate allowing her some sweets You said you weren't banning anything completely. My rule has always been soda pop at parties and special occasons so when my kids go on playdates and come home with a can, I am not too happy either, but I up the veggies at the next meal and cut out dessert that night.

number 3 she is active, but I know I have watched my kids at some "sports classes" take swimming for instance, they might swim across the short end but then spend the next 8 mins hanging on the edge waiting for the rest of the class, so they might only swim back and forth 4 times in the course of a class, they would burn far more just at the open swim time for the same length of time, just splashing around in the water. so you might want to think about that when you are factoring her activity levels.

Is dad on board w what she eats??

personally I would knock out the sugared cereal even on the weekends and make French toast or something instead.

I guess I just wanted to say , you are doing everything right. This is just going to be something that will be difficult. just like some kids have a hard time reading, and some kids are super shy. we all have something. you don't sound like you are expecting her to be the size of her peers but to be the right size for her. I wish more mommies loved their babies as well as you do.

one more thing
It is so much easier said than done but to actually keep a log (maybe with out her knowing) and really really look at the evidence of how much veggies, how much protein, how much sugar, how much actual movement etc just for 2 weeks, nothing obsessive, but you might see that the treats w friends is a huge deal or its a small deal. but at least you'll have the facts.

I know you posted a few days ago, but I'm finally getting around to adding my comment :)

My son is 7, and his doctor, much as we LOVE her (truly! we do!), his height/weight ratio has ALWAYS been a concern to her. Mind you, this is the boy who plays baseball, soccer, and hockey, has two recesses at school every day, and LOVES to play at any playground or with his dad after school and on weekends. The boy is just plain solid (you can't pinch fat on him).

My husband and I are both 5'3", so height will never be on our kids' side. In fact, we laugh about them being doomed since conception LOL However, we do take steps to control what they eat. At the same time, I'm not fanatical about it because for me, it's more about teaching them HOW to eat and to make their own decisions regarding food than it is about controlling their BMI.

I've always been overweight, as are both our families. I lived through a lot of hell growing up because of my weight (the glasses didn't help), and I don't want that for my kids. BUT you have to allow some concessions, or like someone else, she'll become a sneaky eater. If she doesn't eat it at home, she'll find ways to get it outside the house without your knowledge.

My advice is to keep teaching her good food choices and offer healthy foods in a variety of colors, and give a little slack while she's out of the house. Teach her to enjoy healthy foods, and show her WHY some foods are so unhealthy for her. Talk with her about your weight issues, and be honest that you don't want that for her. Ask her to work with you, even at age 6 :)