Trying to Get on a Schedule

Updated on January 27, 2009
K.B. asks from Gardner, KS
17 answers

I am going to be trying to get my 3 1/2 month old on a better schedule. Since he was a preemie, we have kind of let him run things, but he is much more healthy and strong now and I feel like he's ready. My question is; what is the best way to start? When are good times for morning and afternoon naps and for how long? My real goal is to get him put down by 9PM, after a feeding and bath time. Do you knowledgeable Mamas have any great ideas for a new Mom??

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So What Happened?

Mamas - I got a lot of great advice. Thanks so much for all your help. He has pretty much made his schedule on his own. He takes a morning and afternoon nap (if he wants to!) and goes to be about 8 pm and usually sleeps through the night until about 5 then up for a little food and back to sleep for a few hours. So everything is going well for now. Thank you!!

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T.P.

answers from Lawrence on

I had a preemie to, so I understand. Everyone recommended me to read BabyWise--and it worked! It helps get baby on a great schedule while also teaching them how to get to sleep on their own and sleeping well through the night. The book is pretty strict, so I just took from it what I wanted. Hope it helps!

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M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Hmm I never tried putting an infant on a schedule. From my experience they make their own schedule and I go from there. We do have a schedule now. He wakes up @ 8am has his bottle plays for a little bit, takes an hour nap, gets up, I get him dressed or bath, play a little bit, he eats again then sleeps again, and we keep doing that until his last bottle between 8-9pm and then he goes to sleep for the night. He is five months old. I didnt make this schedule, he did. Anytime I try to switch it for an outing or something it doesnt always go as smoothly. I am very lucky that he has been sleeping through the night since he was like 2 months old. You can try your own schedule and see if he adapts, but like I said, my little guy made his own schedule and I just go along with it. Works for me!

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

There is no better time to start than now! At 3.5 months he should be feeding every 3 hours with about an hour, maybe hour and a half at very most, of waketime. Picking a wakeup and bedtime are KEY things! I think once you get this worked out, you'll see night sleeping get better and better!

If it weren't for a schedule, I would be i-n-sane. No doubt. I have a very sick little one and it's the only thing that keeps me going; knowing that if I can make it until ___, it will be naptime and I can enjoy some quiet.

When Ellie (my youngest) was 3.5 months she was doing this:

7am: wake and bottle
7:45-10am: nap
10am: wake and bottle
10:45-1pm: nap
1pm: wake and bottle
1:45-4pm: nap
4pm: wake and bottle
4:45 or 5-6pm: nap
6pm: wake and play
6:30pm: bottle
7pm: bed
10pm: dreamfeed (

Sleep begets sleep. Ellie was sleeping through the night at 10 weeks (7pm-7am with a dreamfeeding at 10pm). She was totally STTN by 4 months (7pm-7am, no wakings) which is late in my opinion. My oldest was STTN with a dreamfeeding at 6 weeks and totally by 10 weeks. Granted, things are different with Ellie because she's sick and we can't let her cry it out as much.

A dreamfeeding is a feeding late at night. You need to make this one as quiet and calm as possible. No lights, no talking, nothing really. Just feed and put back to bed.

Also note that Ellie's waketime was on the small side. One of her medications has a lot of alcohol in it so she's sleepier than most. I think an hour to an hour and a half of waketime is pretty normal.

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L.S.

answers from Wichita on

CONGRATULATIONS K.!!

You sound like you're extremely happy... just tired! You may just have to watch your son's signals. Since he's still so young, he may need a morning and afternoon nap. About how long is still up to your son. A book I recommend is, "What To Expect The First Year" by Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg and Sandee Hathaway. It has a TON of awesome advice in it. EVERY new mom shouldn't be without one! You can then follow it up with,"What To Expect, The Toddler Years". That'll get you through the "terrible twos" and the "tantrum threes". But we won't go into that right now!!

Good luck new mommy and God bless! ls

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K.C.

answers from Wichita on

Hi K.! I'm glad that your preemie is doing well! My oldest (now 7) was 12 weeks early & he is a normal 1st grade boy.
I don't have any suggestions about schedules because I never put either of my boys on a schedule until they were only napping once or twice a day.
I would not suggest waking him up from a nap unless your dr. says you need to for him to eat (to gain weight). Also do not try to keep him awake if he is tired just so "he will sleep at a better time". You will only have a harder time trying to get him to sleep because he will be overly tired.
The only schedule I had with my boys was their bed time.

God bless!

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Find the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. This will tell you all you need to know about schedules. It made a huge difference for me and my two kids.

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Hey K.,
We have a lot of similarities! My little guy just turned 4 months old, my first, and I was 35! My son was a week late though, so no preemie. I never thought I could get pregnant either, and he is my little miracle too. I guess for us we just put him down now around 9pm. He gets a feeding right before bed, and usually falls asleep on his own. He is getting better at sleeping through the night now also. He has had a cold for like a month and a half so that has been a little challenging. I usually wake him at 5:45 so I can get him ready so I can go to work, and then he will usually sleep at the babysitters for like 3 hours in the morning with her. He usually naps two more times during the day, not as long though, and then maybe another nap in the evening for 30-90 minutes, then bed at 9. I don't know if that helps, but I thought since there were several similarities in our sons that I had to write! Good Luck!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I highly recommend the Baby Whisperer's EASY method of Eat, activity, Sleep. My DD did great on it, and at 2, she still naps like a champ. If you can get ahold her her book, great. It is easy to read and easy to do.

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T.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I have a 5 yr old and a 14 month old - and to be honest w/ you a 9pm bedtime is pretty late for an infant. My 5 yr old goes to bed at 8pm and my younger one goes to bed at 7pm. My youngest one was also a preemie (5 weeks early) - and you do have to just go w/ them for a few months. You can try to start doing naps around 9am (depending on what time he gets up) and around noon time. You should be able to get him to take two naps and then go to bed around 7pm. At this age - he will probably still get up in the middle of the night (you didn't mention that) but he will grow out of it. My daughter didn't really sleep through the night until she was 11 months old. She quit eating around 6 months in the middle of the night. Of course at his age - he's probably still eating in the middle of the night. You just need to watch his cues and see how long he can be up w/o getting too fussy and missing that 'sleep' window. Good luck.

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J.R.

answers from St. Louis on

I know what you mean about a schedule! My 3 month old son is just starting to set his own just as my now 7yr old daughter did. I began keeping a time journal throughout the day and see a pattern emerging. It's not exact timing but his naps seem to occur with a one hour time frame everyday. His eating habits are still unpredictable. Sometimes he goes 2 1/2 hours, sometimes 4. He does only get up once per night. I go with the flow- it's very hard to make a baby eat or nap if they are not hungry or tired! Good luck!!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi K.,
Congrats on your new baby! The easiest way to schedule my son was the EASY schedule - it is advocated in the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and also in Babywise (which I am not a fan of, but the schedule concept is the same). Basically your baby should follow this pattern all day long - Eat, Awake/Activity, Sleep, Your Time (while the baby sleeps). I found that my son would need to sleep about every 2 hours at 3-6 months. His naps gradually got longer and he was able to stay up longer so that he was down to 3, then 2, and now we are switching to 1 nap at 16 months. It is also important to let your son learn how to put himself to sleep without the breast of bottle. I hope this helps - if you do this, eventually he will be scheduled by the clock, but I think it is more important to follow his cues. You can probably google the EASY schedule for more info.

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S.O.

answers from St. Louis on

As some others have said, Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child is great for scheduling and it will have guidelines to help you with Premie adjustments. I didn't have it with my first and love it with my second. I know about 3 new moms-to-be and they are all getting a copy from me! Best of luck!

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M.V.

answers from Kansas City on

I just had my first baby who is now 6 1/2 weeks old. We are also trying to get her on a schedule. So far it is going pretty well. She gets a bath at 6:30, eat and then bed. This time was set b/c it is the time she demands to got to bed. If we start any later she just starts screaming. She gets up in the am around 7:30, eats, and is then ready for a nap by 8:30. I know that every baby is different but I would highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". You don't really need to read the whole book b/c it repeats alot of things. It has a chapter that goes by the babies age and gives tips on sleep. I have found it very helpful! Good luck.

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R.C.

answers from Wichita on

Keep in mind, all kids are different, and what works for one will be horrible for another. Some kids do better with a schedule, others with a looser routine, others are happiest when they do what feels good when it does, not when the clock tells mom to do it. (Babies can't tell time!) So, the books and methods work for some but not others. In our house, we let the kids find a routine, and that is nice for everyone, but then if we want to do something in the time that might have been naptime, we are not locked in, the nap can come later.
hth

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning K.. Congratulations Mama!!! Since we don't know what type of schedule your little one is on now it might be a tad bit difficult to help. But here goes...lol

Using my 15 mo old gr son as example.
Zane gets up by 7:30 at the latest.
has breakfast
plays with bro. we read books, play with blocks etc..
usually gets a little tired around 10-10:30
Cat naps for maybe an hour
Has lunch at 12:15 or so
Then is down for a nap by 1.
Up usually around 3-4
Snack and play time
Mom gets them at 5
Has dinner by 6:30
Bath, story, songs, prayers
In bed by 7:30-45

Corbin stays up until 8:15 so he can have more daddy time.

If you find something that is comfortable for you and your baby, stay with it. Cause it will change from one day to the next, as they get older.. no stress.

God Bless you abundantly K., so happy for you & your little Miracle.
K. Nana of 5

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I would strongly encourage you to wait until he is 3.5 months adjusted age (that's not clear from your post). Once he is, just be sure not to feed to sleep, and set a regular bed and naptime routine.

You should also really try to put him down for bed between 6-8p because that is when babies and children are naturally tired. Expect him to wake up to eat once or twice a night still, and don't try to eliminate that yet. If he goes to bed in that window, he will be more likely to take three naps during the day, one starting between 8-9a, one starting between 12-2p, and a short nap around 4-5 p. If he wakes after 30-45 minutes, let him fuss a little to try to get back to sleep. That is a normal disruption in his sleep cycle, but he definitely needs more sleep. Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is awesome! It was a great help with my oldest, and we are following the same principles with our second, who is now four months old. Here is his "schedule" (he lets us know his schedule, and we protect it, essentially):

6:15 am Wake
6:45 am Eat (snack, really)
7:30 am Nap
8:30 am Wake/Eat, play
10 am Nap
Noon Wake/Eat, play
1:30 Nap
3:45 Wake/Eat, play
5:30/5:45 Eat
6:15/6:30 Sleep
2:30 am Dreamfeeding

Hope this helps!

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