Trying to Get Daughter into Kindergarten

Updated on August 05, 2009
C.Y. asks from Kenosha, WI
44 answers

My daughter will be 5 years old on Sept 14th, and the school Kindergarten cut off date is the 1st. I went through the early entrance assessments, and she was denied. I feel they evaluated her as an advanced child and this is not the case. She is physically, mentally, and socially ready. She is taller than most kids her age, does not have a problem leaving Mom's side, is a social butterfly, and has the willingness to learn. She sat in on a Kindergarten class for 3 hours as part of the assessment and was loving it! The school's principal and a few teachers also agreed she was ready. I have sent a letter to the principal to see if there is anything else that can be done. I have not heard back as of yet. I have thought long and hard about this and know in my heart this is the best thing for my child. Does anyone have any advice as to my next step in fighting to get her in this fall? Thanks so much!

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So What Happened?

I sincerely appreciate everyone's advice and comments. I must admit, most of what was said is not what I wanted to hear. I was a Sept baby and started school when I was 4 years old. Given that my daughter is socially, mentally, and physically ready, I saw her following in my footsteps. I had no problems going through school as the youngest. However, the many responses got me thinking, and with how advanced Kindergarten is compared to when I was in school, I have decided to not for go getting her into Kindergarten. I have instead enrolled her into a 4 year old Kindergarten that is run through the school district. We are both very excited and I feel this will completely make her ready for Kindergarten next year and help her to succeed better in future years. Again, I appreciate all comments and advice and thank everyone for making me see things differently.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have taught kindergarten, and now teach 2nd grade. KEEP HER HOME! Don't force her to grow up so fast. Why the rush? You may think she is ready, but there are deadlines and dates for a reason. You'll be glad you held off when she is 18 going away to college, instead of 17.

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P.P.

answers from Chicago on

totally agree with Linda..

as a preschool teacher for over 14 years. NO parent I have spoken to has ever regretted giving their child another year.. they have only regretted not holding them back.
I have done this with both my children and I was SO happy that I did. They were older and leaders in their class in so many ways.
everything will be just fine..!

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D.R.

answers from Chicago on

My husband was born 10/6 and was always one of the oldest kids in his class and my mother in law saw a lot of benefits from that. He got better grades throughout his school career and played well in sports because he had that little extra time to develop.

My daughter was born on 9/13 and my son on 10/11 and will be one of the oldest in their class and I'm glad for it. If you can't get the school to change thier mind, think of the positives. Can she do a year of pre-Kindergarten (if she hasn't already)?

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L.

answers from Chicago on

Hi!
My advice as a former kindergarten teacher is let it go! There is no harm in letting her wait until the "correct" year. In the long run it is usually better for them to be an oldest than a youngest in the class. My daughter has a Sept. birthday too and I am THRILLED she will be an oldest!! So many advantages to having some extra time to mature and be ready for school. Let her enjoy her time as a little kid and go to preschool again! Don't rush her!!

L.

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A.W.

answers from Chicago on

I had a similar situation with my daughter; she
was also physically, social and mentally ready for kindergarten one year early, and could already read at a second grade level by the time she started kindergarten. She missed the cutoff because her birthday is early October. She is also very tall, almost the same height as her brother who is two grades ahead of her.

I chose to accept the cutoff date. She is going into second grade now and I have no regrets. Being one of the oldest, and most advanced kids has some great advantages. She takes a leadership role in her class, helps the other children who lag behind and is friends with everyone. She was in a small group for advanced readers, and has qualified for the gifted program. I had heard that kids who start kindergarten early may have problems later on as the other kids catch up. I did not want to put her in a position where she ends up struggling because I pushed her to start early. I have an older child who is an average student, and I can say it is so much harder to get homework done and try to stay on top of things when your child is not at the top of the class. I would recommend enjoying the fact that she is advanced and not fighting the issue.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the advice already posted. Yes, my oldest a November birthday would have been fine. However, in the three years since then that my youngest went Kindergarten has gotten more academic. Of course, this depends on your school & the district as well. I will say that I have found like many have said that K-2 is all about the children developing the foundation - though at their own pace. So, for some after K/1 the development is more social than truly academic - not so say there isn't still a lot to learn. I have found that the gifted & talented programs tend not to start until around 3rd grade (and once MS starts many opt out even so they don't miss other electives).

Kids are thrown in to so much so fast, give them time to be a kid. Once full day school starts play time is so limited. Take advantage of this.

And if your child needs additional challenges, outside of school look to develop their other talents in the arts and/or athletics - not to say you should go crazy going from one activity to another.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

It's hard to fight the system on this one.

We are doing a third year of preschool with our son, but switched him to a Spanish Immersion school so that he can learn the same things in another language. Plus we added music lessons and he asked to take Karate lessons. :>) We've been looking at it as an opportunity to explore more of our son's interests and it's been really fun to plan his year!

Some kids easily "age up" when they are with other kids right now, but from all I've read, you can't count on that being the case throughout the rest of their school years. We saught out *a lot* of advice from close friends who are teachers and trusted others who have been faced with this same decision and the responses you have below are a good representation, though probably not the advice you were hoping to receive.

Best wishes!

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

I am sure that you know your daughter better than anyone- but is there some specific reason she needs to be in kindergarten early? Are you unhappy with her current daycare or playgroup? Do you have to go back to work and can't stay home with her anymore? Do you just feel like she isn't 'challenged' enough in preschool?

My son is a gifted student and was always very advanced for his age, both academically and socially. Our district did not accept any early kindergarteners at all, so he was in a wonderful home day care. I have to say, that in MY experience, in the end, it was BETTER for him to have started kindergarten at the regular time, and I will tell you why.

The process in his day care of going from being one of the 'little' toddler kids, to one of the 'big' helper kids was an excellent experience for him. As an only child, it allowed him to have the dynamic of older kids helping him out and being able to follow after them. But as HE became the older kids, he learned a lot about being patient with younger children, having more little responsibilities, being able to do 'big kid' stuff, etc. It was very emotionally positive and to this day he remains very patient with his younger cousins and I know it is from that early experience. When he began kindergarten, he was super confident, completely socialized, used to 'school' type rituals like lining up, hang your jacket on a hook, wash your hands, stay with your partner, etc. Academically he was already far ahead, but he was put into a group with other fast learners and had a completely positive kindergarten experience that set him up to LIKE school.

Your child may be super bright and outgoing, but that does not always mean that starting school early will get her ahead or make her happy. If she does not have a positive experience in kindergarten, it could stay with her throughout school. Let her be little one more year- there are still a lot of things to learn before starting school! If she is like my son, it will end up benefiting her far more than it could hurt her.

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L.H.

answers from Chicago on

It is always better to be the oldest child in the classroom vs the youngest. I was a principal and I could identify the young ones all the time...it boils down to much more than skills. My own daughter read at three and a half. I still observed the cut offs. The older kids are bigger and stronger, so they make the athletic teams just because they are stronger and quicker to respond. The older kids are more mature. They get picked for special jobs more often. Illinois law is actually that kindergarten is NOT even required, and all students must be 6 by September 1st of their 1st grade year. So, like someone else mentioned, you would need two years of private school to get around it. Enjoy the extra year at home. You will be glad you did in a few years. Just my opinion. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, first off, great looking after your child and wanting to do what is best for her!!!

That being said, I really don't know how you could fight it when it is a state law. They really do have these for reasons...

My daughter missed it by 2 months, and she is very smart, and so to speak way ahead of alot of the kids...and I am soooo glad. Because the beginning years are stepping stones for the year to come. And once you are behind, you are in trouble. And you wouldn't want something to happen later, and then have to hold her back, and then she wouldn't be with the the other kids... you know. My SIL is a teacher, and she said she could totally tell the summer kids and the older kids (for the most part). Their is also a maturity level going on too. (So many pieces of the pie)!

If you are a stay at home Mom, enjoy her, enjoy her! If you are a working Mom, then hopefully she could either do the extra year of preschool and/or also get her in some other programs socially!

The best of luck to you and your family. I would love to hear your thoughts in a few years! Hopefully you will say that you were so happy!

Take care,

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

You more than likely will not appreciate my advice. The state doesn't even require any district to offer Kindergarten, unless it is a low enrollment year they usually will not even consider it even if the tests say Genius. I feel that children should be allowed to be children as long as possible. Being the oldest in a classroom will give her many advantages that other who made it under the wire do not have. We had several kids in my daughters class that just "made" it and not only were they not happy kids, easily learning, they also consumed time for the rest of the class so they couldn't learn as much. They were disruptive due to immaturity, tired and forced to use innate skills over developed ones. My suggestion is to enrich her this year, involve her in strong playgroups, early sports, take her to forest preserves, museums, plays, teach her those things you know she struggles with so she is able to excel next year. She made be great in some subjects are there others that you see either a problem or a dislike? Teach her to do things like a craft of sewing, early cooking, how to make a garden. Use it as a year to teach yourself how to do something too and learn together. You won't get this time back. Why would you want to donate it to someone else?

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

Sometimes people just pay to use a private kindergarten and then work to transfer your child to public school the next year.

I had one of the oldest kids in Kindergarten because of my third child's October birthday and actually felt this was good for this particular child.

It depends on the child!

You can get educational materials at chalk board and have enrichment activities at home while waiting for the public school system to be ready for your child as another alternative.

I recall my parents were in a big hurry to teach me to read early and it didn't work because I wasn't ready so they had to back away from this notion and we were all happier (this was prekindergarten time).

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B.S.

answers from Rockford on

I can only say that my son's bday is the 29th of August & even though he could be going into 4th grade this year we decided to wait the extra year & what a difference it has made. He is one of the oldest in his grade level, if not the oldest & his peers really look up to him. Also, he is quite advanced & the kids really strive to be like him academically which I think the teachers just love.
Just wanted to throw in my example & as far as having an "exception" made for your daughter. It is a state law for the September 1st cut-off, not just set by the district. I for one would not want to be known as the mom that "HAD" to have her child break the rules so to speak.
Good Luck.

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S.W.

answers from Peoria on

As a mom with 4 kids with summer b-days, let me just say wait the year. Find a great pre-K program and get her in there. There is a HUGE difference between 5 & 6....with my older two, i wish i would have held them back...my second daughter i held back in 3rd grade, because she wasnt ready to go to 4th. I fought the school every year, till we moved and i had her repete 3rd grade. best decision i made for her!
my oldest finally got to where she should be about 3rd grade, but with both of them reading was a huge issue...if a child cant ready, they wont do well. they expect too much too fast, and with a 5 year old, they sometimes just are not ready.
with my 3rd daughter, we got her into a full day pre-K program at the school...and she has thrived from that. She is entering 2nd grade in the fall, reading at a 3rd grade level. she went to kindergarten as a 5 year old, but that year of Pre-k helpped so much.
my youngest (step daughter) also had a year of Pre-K and is doing great. They have the cutoff for a reason, and though she may seem ready to go, dont push it. if she was denied, let that be the guide.
find a program for her, and take the extra year to let her grown and learn. i promise you that you will not regret that!

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C., These are just great replies from such wonderful Mom's! I have 2 kids with Sept birthdays, my son Sept 1st & my daughter Sept 4th. My son they had to let me put him in kindergarten, he was always the youngest, my daughter on the other hand was the 1st to drive and had a maturity that "stood out".. In the big picture I would say keep her home, enroll her in the best preschool you can afford. I PROMISE with a loving Mom like you she will be fine.

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K.H.

answers from Chicago on

Have an extra year with her. She might very well be achedemically and physically ready, but is she socially? My son's birthday is Halloween so I kept him back. He has done great in school and I think he needed the extra year socially. I have met a lot of mothers and I have never heard a mom complain about keeping the child back but I have heard a few regrets from moms who pushed them too early. You might not see the drawbacks now but you will later. Have that extra time with her and enjoy it. They grow up so fast. Your other option is to put her in private school.

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have not gone through this decision myself, as all three of my kids have winter/spring birthdays, but I have two friends whose children were August/September birthdays who did go through this decision. My friend, whose son's birthday was August, decided to hold her son back a year - even though all of the rest of us thought he was definitely ready for Kindergarten. She kept him busy with a preschool program and different park district things and then he entered Kindergarten this past year. He did wonderfully, had a great time, and was not bored at all... Another friend of mine has a son whose birthday is the end of September and she insisted that he was ready for Kindergarten. He was her second child and she thought he was ready. Since her district wouldn't let him in, she enrolled him in a private school for Kindergarten. He did ok there, but was exhausted all the time and didn't seem to be the same happy kid he used to be. Then the worst happened and her husband lost his job, and last year she had to take him back to the district for school. But the state law is that they have to be 6 by September 1st to enter 1st grade, so he had to repeat Kindergarten. My friend was shocked at how much happier he was throughout last year.

So anyway, it turned out that in both cases, going to school later, turned out to be a better experience.... Also, keep in mind that if she starts school earlier, she will always be the youngest, and experiencing things, such as driving, later than all her peers, because there are some age limits that don't have exceptions...

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T.Z.

answers from Chicago on

I would also have to agree with most on letting her wait the year. My daughter also missed the cut off, her b-day is Sept. 19 and I just put her in preschool for 3 years. She was a little more advanced than some kids but was still on tract with what kindergartners should be doing. I wouldn't rush it, it really makes a difference at the high school level as well with maturity. It's hard to wait a whole other year but they have some great preschool/activity programs out there to keep her busy that don't cost allot.
I put my daughter in the high school preschool programs and she learned the same as paying for it else where. I loved the program.

Good luck w/ your decision I know it's hard.

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N.J.

answers from Rockford on

My 26 year old daughter could have started kindergarten before her time. We had her tested; she passed. She was assessed; we were ready to let her start. Socially she was ready; intellectually she was ready. At the last minute we decied to hold her out for another year. We felt that another year at home with her mom and dad was more valuable than anything at school. We are so thankful we did that! She graduated from high school with high honors; graduated from college with high honors; she holds a prestigious position. With one more year of maturity, everything came easier for her in school and in college. Think it over. You may be happy to have her one more year at home. Her school career will go on for at least 13 years. One more year at home?

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

We had to put our daughter in private school because they would not accept her in school here (bday is Sept 3.) She tested gifted for even "skipping" a grade in 2 different private schools. I have been told by the district that this is a state law.

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J.H.

answers from Chicago on

Enroll your child in a private school. After one year return back to local and they will have to accept her with the grade level. Oh yea that is my birthday too!Happy early Birthday!

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S.H.

answers from Chicago on

This really a difficult situation for families to be in and I wish our education system did a better job at allowing parents to have the option to have their child go a bit early or hold back a year and get tested for readiness, etc. I'm sorry to hear about your struggle as we had the same with our daughter.

Long story short – both our kids, but particularly our daughter, were ready to go to Kindergarten when they were 4 going on 5 but went when they were 5 going on 6. I will always believe they would have done well had they gone early, but other than being bored (mostly K through 2nd or 3rd grades), they have been fine and have excelled. They are both avid readers above grade levels, test great, get straight A’s, they are well adapted socially and developmentally, teachers love to have them in their classes. Our daughter (going into 7th grade) has developed into a real leader at her school and out son (going into 4th grade) seems well on his way.

As parents, we want the best for our kids and your post really expresses the struggle you are having. I wish you the best in getting your daughter into school early, but if it doesn’t happen, know that many of us who had children in a similar situation have had it work out just fine. If private school is an option and they will enroll your child early, go for that. If not, find a good pre-school or day care center that has both lots of play but some academic components to keep your daughter challenged and engaged.

Good luck to you and your family!

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J.C.

answers from Rockford on

I was one of the young kids in my class, in fact always the youngest. The cutoff date was Sept. 6, my birthday, so I just made it. I was fine academically, but there are other considerations. It made a bigger difference as we got older. There is a huge difference between 12 and 13 or 15 and 16, regarding physical and emotional development and maturity. I was often out of my league and felt so much younger than kids about a year older than me. I would say keep her for one more year as I feel it would be to her benefit to be older rather than younger in her grade.

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S.T.

answers from Chicago on

My only suggestion to you is to try a private kindergarten and see what your districts age entrance for 1st grade is. Many of them now say they must be 6 by Sept. 1st. From personal experience, my daughter-Aug. 16 b-day, just completed kindergarten at a private school this year. She was as close to ready for kg as I thought. She even went to the kindergarten where she went to preschool, and along with many of the children she already knew. I will tell you that it was a struggle up unitl the middle of October with her. She was exhausted most of the time. However, the big part was the crying. This was too long of a day for her! This was a huge surprise to us. It was an all day program, just like our public district switched to this year. The teacher was great to help us through this long transition period this past year. There were several times I wondered if I should have held her back. Anyway, you're the mom and you have to go with your gut. You know your child best!

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

I understand your dilemma. My twins will be 5 October 1st so we also miss the cut-off. I'm sure that they would do just wonderfully in Kindergarten if I had the choice to start them this year. But I don't feel at this age it is worth the fight (actually, our school won't even consider it - the cut-off is written in stone!). I figure it couldn't hurt them to wait another year. It's sad though because their friend who is 5 weeks older, will start this year. But they'll still be friends next year, so it's not the worst thing in the world.
I would like to say for all the other folks out there with kids who just make the deadline but can't decide if they should wait or start kindergarten now - trust your gut! Don't let anyone tell you what your child is or isn't capable of. My son's birthday is Aug 31 (the cutoff is Sept. 1). We debated starting him the first year. People (who had never even met my son) told us we shouldn't, it was too early. Even a teacher told us that all kids with summer birthdays should wait another year. My gut told me my son was ready, so we started him. He is now going into third grade, gets straight A's, has a million friends, and is equal if not better when it comes to most sports. Yes, he was a little smaller than most at the start (btw, I am only 5'2" and my husband is 5'9"). But, trust me, there were plenty of kids smaller than him that were 6-8 months older. No one can say that they walk into a classroom and can tell who is older and who is younger. Kids, like the rest of us, come in all shapes and sizes and develop differently. My son has a friend who is two years younger, but is quite a bit taller than he is. And, for those who say, you have to look down the road, the same principal applies. All kids grow and develop at different rates. Not every girl will develop at the same time. Not every boy will experience a voice change the same year. I feel very strongly about this issue, and I'm so glad I went with my gut! I hope others listen to their gut as well!

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F.J.

answers from Chicago on

i believe you can request an appeal although the plus side... many posted here... isyou will find her in advanced classes... my son is Sept 30th bday and he is advanced in his class.. good luck

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G.E.

answers from Chicago on

I don't have any advice other than I was in the same boat with my September birthday daughter. The school wouldn't even do special testing, so unless I fought the system, I had no choice. My daughter was (is) gifted, which made it harder. So she started Kindergarten, already reading at a third grade level, and ended having a teacher that did NOTHING to meet her at her level. She came home every other day asking when she'd learn something. A very frustrating year. BUT, because it was only half day, in my mind I called school her social time, and we'd do enrichment stuff at home.

Fast forward to now, my daughter is going into 3rd. The last couple of years has been better. It does help when the other kids catch up some to lessen the gap. She still can be bored, but I'm hoping the gifted program will help with that. On the positive side, I really feel that socially and even physically she has been better off. She has a self confidence that can be attributed to her maturity. You really can see the difference between the youngest in class and the older ones in their capabilities.

The other thing I think of is when she is in middle school and high school, she will only be better off with more maturity.

I'm not saying to not fight for what you believe is right for her, just that there's pros and cons to both options, and if it doesn't work out, she will be ok.

BTW, another trend I notice lately (in some school districts) is parents waiting to have their kids start K, even thought their kids make the cut-off, so that they have that physical/mental one-up on the other kids. Some even hope it will help their kids get sports scholarships. Not saying that is right, but there may be kids over a year older than your daughter because of this.

Best of luck. I understand the stress you feel over this.

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

Private schools do not have the same restrictions but they have tuition you will need to pay. You also can consider home schooling her for kindergarten and then having her tested to go right into first grade if you decide you would prefer public school. Once you start home schooling you may decided to keep her home with you.

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J.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C. Your sounds like she ready to me!!! But these school have to follow certain guidelines. I remember when I started school you could be 4 years old up to December 31th!!! but plenty has changed since then. Now who may take her is a Catholic school. In in Northwest Indiana children( unless is has changed) don't have a cut off date. Because I put my son in kindergarten a 4 1/2.

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B.

answers from Chicago on

C.,

I was there and my son (9/19)did pass the early entrance assessments. At this time, the school has determined that your daughter is not ready. You may consider putting her in private kindergarten and then enrolling her next year in kindergarten at the school you wish to have her attend. It beats another year of preschool.

This is what I chose to do with my son. Because he was accepted early, we chose to send him to kindergarten for two years. We sent him to two different programs and schools. This last year, we told him he was in Sr. Kindergarten. He grew up so much.

This September, he will be seven going into first grade. He has so many friends that want to hang out with him because he can read and understands everything. He has also matured and the other kids like playing with him. Academically he could be in second grade no problem, but he would also be a foot shorter then most of the other children and probably slower too.

C., the reason I sent him for two years is I have to look forward to when my son is in high school and college. Right now, he is learning so quickly and it comes so easy. I hope it always will. Being the oldest gives him an advantage in case he runs into a snag while learning geometry or chemistry. Our kids aren't always going to be 5 and 6.

There are wonderful private schools and programs. If your daughter did not qualify, you need to look at the skills that she still requires. There is a reason she isn't quite ready yet. Find out why she was denied. Look for programs with a strong curriculum that matches your daughter's needs. Look at programs for children who miss the deadline. I know that park districts have them and some church based schools might. It's worth a look.

Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Chicago on

Unfortunately there needs to be a cutoff somewhere that will affect someone. When I was little, the cutoff was December 1, I was born 12 hours later. I never had an issue as being one of the oldest in the class. The rules are there for a reason & I am so sick of people trying to get around them, what kind of message are you sending for your kids that if you complain loud & long enough you will get what you want. Don't we tell our kids the opposite? I can tell when I go into both of my kids classes the difference in ages with the maturity and readiness. In my daughters 1st grade class, there were kids who could barely read a sentence.

Enjoy her for another year.

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H.P.

answers from Chicago on

Wow, I am surprised that the school teachers and principal didn't bend over backwards to enroll a child who is ready for the kindergarten experience. I think you should continue with pursuing the principal. Could be he/she is on vacation at this time?? Another alternative is a private school.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

Our daughter is also a September baby. We had her evaluated and part of the process was input from her preschool teachers and the preschool director. Could you have them write letters or meet with the ones making the decision? I know that evaluators feel that parents are too close to the situation to be impartial. The educators that have been in her life so far could be the best to assess and help you state your case.

I also know of a September girl who did stay with the cutoff date and was among the oldest in her class. She was a natural leader; maturity helped her in many situations; classroom work was still challenging and she had many opportunities for academic excellence. She'll be a sophomore in college this fall.

We too felt it was best for our daughter to be the youngest in her class. Since then, we have received nothing but re-assurances that we made the right decision. She has been in accelerated classes and honors placement throughout her schooling. She'll enter high school this fall with a full schedule of honors classes. The age thing does come up later: Some of her older friends are thinking about driver's ed next spring. She's not.

I hope you have success stating your case and persuading the powers that be. If they're not persuaded, rest assured that your daughter will still have a great educational experience.

Good Luck.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

C.,

School is such an exciting time for your child! I know how frustrated you must be as a parent. I teach fourth grade, so as a teacher I see the benefits of having her wait one more year.

Currently my district does not allow any student start kindergarten if they are not already five by the first day of school. It wasn't this way when I started teaching five years ago. I have had students that were evaluated and determined "ready" for kindergarten. Some of these students would have benefited tremendously from waiting the extra year. One more year of development can make a world of difference in a child's future success in school. When a student is the youngest in a class there are sometimes differences with what they are developmentally ready for as well as what they were mature enough to handle. The cut-off dates are in place to promote the best possible education for a child, not keep a child from school. I know you are excited for her to be ready for school, but having her wait one more year is a very good thing in her long term success.

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J.M.

answers from Chicago on

I haven't read the responses and am not even sure this is an option but can you try to enroll her in private school for kindergarden?

Otherwise, certain day care centers have accredited kindergarden although I'm not sure if they also have an age requirement. We go to Bright Horizons - they're pricey but if they'll take her early, one year might not be so bad.

brighthorizons.com You'd have to go in as a community family (vs. corporate) but it might be another option.

Good luck.

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

Private schools are much easier to get into. If you are willing to pay the tuition, they're willing to take it.

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E.M.

answers from Chicago on

A friend of mine is in the same position. She finally decided to send her child to a private kindergarten, with the understanding that, once the child had completed kindergarten, the public school district would accept her as a first grader in 2010. This may not be an option for you, but I thought I'd suggest it, anyway, as a long term solution.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I'm sorry but I don't have any advice about your next steps. I have this. I also thought long and hard about it, put my son in Kindergarten (his birthday was the cutoff date-the first of September) and he was larger than almost everyone. He is now nineteen and feels like he was out of step from most of his age group for his whole life. He is actually now going to take college classes (was out of school the previous year, not this year) and is thinking he finally gets to start out with his correct age group. So I guess I am saying that you have every right reason to do this, every thought is for her benefit, but in my case it turned out that maybe I should have kept him back. He didn't do as well in school as I ever predicted. Just giving you those thoughts. Hard to predict long term, but you sound like a great mom and things will be fine either way.

R.T.

answers from Champaign on

I wish you luck! I have 2 September kids (9/2 & 9/12). There is no remedy in Champaign County. I have written to the school board and attended meetings asking for a testing option instead of blanketly saying that I child 1 day past the cutoff is not ready for school. My kids are always the oldest kids in their class and people always ask them if they're in the grade the matches their age. It really bothers me because I'm originally from the east coast where the cutoff is still Dec 31st and if we move back home while the kids are still in school, their classmates will automatically assume theyve been kept back a grade.
And it never ends. USD116 offers drivers ed to 15 year sophomores and they will not make an exception for my 15 year old freshman. They did suggest I could pay for his state mandated drivers ed with a private drivers school.

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

I understand your frustration, but I think you need to let it go. Some Chicago schools are very crowded and need to take care of the kids who make the cut-off. Another year away from school, as long as it is stimulating, isn't going to harm your child. In fact, it may even be better than going to school this year. Chicago public school kindergarten is not about playing- it is about learning how to read. It really should be called 'pre-first grade.' I think that is unfortunate for kids who aren't in any danger of not learning how to read. Play is very important for kids, and the minute they go to school, their opportunities for it dramatically decrease.

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Y.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hi C.,

My daughter was born 9/7, so I will be in the same boat. She's only 3 now, so I have time but I've started early, to make sure I have time.... I have contacted the state of IL board of education to get the facts and here is what I found out:

Reading all the other posts, I wanted to let you know that yes, it is the state law, but the law allows the schools to do early admissions testing, and if the kid passes then they can attend early.
The problem is that not all districts offer the testing.
It is entirely up to the school/district to offer that or not. They just use the "it's the state law" as an excuse so they don't have to fight the parents. The reasons that districts choose not to do the testing are varied. Some may be close on room and teaching staff and may feel that doing the testing would add too many new students, causing overcrowding in their kindergarten classrooms.

Also, sending her to a private school for Kindergarten won't help. That also depends on the district.
In my district they follow the Sept. 1st cut off for all grades. They have to be 6 by Sept 1 to attend 1st grade, 7 by Sept. 1 to attend 2nd grade etc.
They follow that rule without any exceptions, even for stutents transferring from other states or other countries.

After talking to the state, and our principal in our school I didn't get anywhere myself.
I was told by the state, to contact the district superintendent and/or appeal to the school board as they have the power to change the policy and start offering the readiness testing.

I have emailed the superintendent in June and have not heard back from him yet. It is summer so I'm guessing I wont hear from him until the school is back in session.

So you need to keep trying. I don't know if it will do anything, but you can try.

I know that all other moms are saying don't rush etc,
but being a stay at home mom, I can't afford to pay for private preschool etc before she can go to school.
My kids are extremely smart that's one reason, I wouldn't want her to go to school with all the other kids being behind, then she won't be able to learn anything, like one of the previous posters said.
Also, I would like her to get interaction with kids/group/teachers at 5 instead of waiting until she's 6.
I'm all about relaxed parenting and not pushing the kids into 20 activities at the age of 2, but by 5 I know she'll be ready, just like my older son. He made the cut off, but looking at him and how smart he is, I can't imagine having to hold him another year. He was one of the smartest kids in class as it is....

So, try the principal, see if they offer the testing. Tell them that you found out that it is up to the school to allow the testing. If you can't get anywhere then try the superintendent and school board. Keep trying to go higher...

Good luck to you
Yvette

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

Don't rush it. Two of my kids were born in October. I love that they are one of the oldest in their class. It's quite an advantage. Her added maturity can only help her.

And when she's older, she would hate to be the last of her friends to drive. Do you really want to send her off to college when she's 17? Stuff like that.

They all grow up so fast, don't force it. They have cutoff dates for a reason. I believe I would think long and hard to send off my child with a summer birthday even.

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J.E.

answers from Chicago on

There is an attorney out of Northbrook I believe and his name is Steve ??? He works solely with children and schools and getting what the kids need our of the school district, he knows all the laws etc this is his speciality.
maybe google him or I can try to get his full name and number from our friend who used him but it might take a few days.
good luck
J.

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D.L.

answers from Chicago on

Unless you want to send her to a private school for a couple years theres not much you can do. My daughter turned five in Nov and I felt as if she was ready for kindergarden and disapointed the cutoff was so early im from NY and the cutoff is end of Dec. Anyway i said oh well and let her enjoy another year of preschool. The preschool she went to was through he township and didnt cost me anything. This year she is starting kindergarden and I feel like she is so much more ready she is practically reading. I now am happy we waited since now I know she will be very succesful this year and her self esteem and confidence will soar.

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