Trying to Decide If My 4 Yr. Old Daughter Has ADHD.

T.,
I've been an educator for 15 years. Please, please do not label her yet! Labeling her now could effect negatively for the rest of her life. Doctors often suggest watching diet as well as working as a family in behavior modification. Teaching appropriate responses to daily activities must be repetitive, and when you feel like 'I've shown her this a million times, she should understand it by now', just means you must reteach it again. As far as diet, I have seen young children actually calm down with a small amount of caffeine and sugar (as in a small amount of soda). That combination reacts diffently in their brain so basically instead of acting like a stimulus, it works a calming agent. A fellow teacher gives her 4 year old son a little Mountain Dew when he is too excitable.

Hope this helps.
G. B

As a psychologist specializing in children, I'd say she is exhibiting normal behavior for her age. ADHD is extremely overdiagnosed these days. If the behavior is too much for you, visit a pediatric psychologist and work out a behavior modification plan to help her learn to control her behaviors. When she starts school hopefully the intervention will help her behavior in that environment. If the psychologist thinks it is ADHD, than go over your options with them, because medication should never be the first thing you try.

i advise seeing a doctor but i will also warn you that at 4 they really don't want to do anything about it.. i took my son and they told me to bring him back at 6 years old he has seemed to calm down now so i never felt a need to return GOOD LUCK

she could be ADHD but she could also be Bi-Polar ..You need to take her to the doctors and have test run on her ... My 26 year old daughter has Bi-polar .. Your daughter sounds alot like mine at that age and I didnt so anything about it except watched what she ate ...I did not let her have alot of candy soda's anything with red dye , like red kool-aid and such that helped alot until she became a teenager and started buying the junk food she didn't get as a child.. That was when she really lashed out.. hope this helps. I didn't have to put her on medictions as a child because we watched her diet...

I have worked with children of all ages and with various behavioral problems. Beignthe outside looking in, I would first have you standack yourself and journal every situation that happens with the undesired behavior you feel you are seeing. You mentioned a younger sib. and baby sitting other children, I know she is your oldest, but where does she fall in the birth orderif the children you baby sit, her behaviors sound more like a middle child crying out for the attention they think they never get. So for me please journal the situations and the undesired behavior so when and if you talk with a professional you have your ducks in a row. I do this on occasion with my 5 year old and often times the undesired behavior is triggered by controllable circumatances that can be changed.

Hi T.....my oldest son was hyperactive without the attention deficent part......it sounds to me like a matter of teaching her how to control/focus/dirct her emotions, she's 4 and probaby understand yet how to do that.....this son of mine decided at 4 to throw fits....you know, throw himself on the floor kicking and screaming....i tried all of the things like consoling, yelling at him, spanking him....nothing worked when he threw the fits...finally i told him that if he wanted to throw a fit...fine, just go to his room and shut the door to do it cos nobody wanted to see it....so for a couple of times, he'd go to his room, but i never lasted but a couple of minutes because it wasn't drawing attention.....those ended soon....as far as the excitment, she'll have to learn how to control that....you might ask your husband about help in teaching her....since he has had to learn...good luck....R.

Dear T.,
ADHD manifests itself in different ways with different people. Not everyone needs or can take the medication, but others do very well on it. Only a doctor can diagnose ADHD. There are so many other disorders that can be similar and because of the variety of symptoms that people experience, it is very important that if you get a diagnosis that it's from someone very knowledgeable in ADHD and understands it's complex presentation. You should also know that if ADHD is diagnosed, you will need to work continually with your doctor on any medication adjustments as she grows and her body changes, particularly when she hits puberty. This is a very troubling time for most kids with ADHD as hormones change the effect of medications and ability to resist impulsive behavior.
If you do get a diagnosis of ADHD, you need to immediately contact 2 groups in your state. The first is your Parent Training and Information Center (PTI). The second is your Family to Family Health Information Center (F2FHIC). These are federally-funded organizations which provide information and guidance to families. The PTI will give you guidance, support and advocacy information on how to work with the school to understand your child's needs, and will teach you her educational rights. No one should have to pull their child out of school to home school and certainly not everyone can. The F2FHIC can provide you with a variety of health resources and information on working with your doctors, medical coverage if needed, ADHD info on how it works and understanding your child. You can find your PTI by going to www.nichcy.org and your F2FHIC by going to www.familyvoices.org. I have worked for the PTI in Louisiana and am the program supervisor for the F2FHIC in Louisiana now and strongly urge you to connect to these organizations..they are phenomenal and help families like yours every day.

It is very possible your daughter has ADHD. My son, who is 30 now, would have these anger outbreaks when he would not get his way or something just didn't set right. He still has to deal with these issues which makes it difficult for others to understand (ie: his relationships, he is divorced twice now) So God Bless You for understanding your husband and helping him adjust! The best way I found out is my pediatrician had my son tested at the OU Children's Center. You may want to ask your pediatrcian about it. Also I deleted apples, apple juice,and sweets from his diet. The apples have an enzyme that for some reason kicks the ADHD into gear. With medication and diet control it made a huge difference, not only in home but also school friends and grades. It takes a lot of patience Mom,so just say a prayer every morning for it and thank Him every night for for another good day.

Hi, T.
My name is T. and I have a 6 yr old & a 3 yr old. My 6 yr old was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5. He is very much like you described your daughter to be. When I get on to him he would get very angry. Very emotional about different stuff. But when I really got concerned is when he started Kindergarten. He couldn't be still and he all over the place all the time. He would literally jump off the walls. He would get upset about anything, if it was getting mad at a video game or just something he was trying to do and it wasn't going his way. I finally took him to a doctor. He's on medicine now. He's doing better. I can see why your concerned. I was the same way. It wouldn't hurt to take her to a doctor just to see what they say. From experience, patience is the best thing to have, the doctor told me that when kids have ADHD, they can't help for being emotional,hyer & just very easily distracted. She said there minds are going about 90 miles an hour so we just need to do whats in their best interest. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find the answers your looking for. God Bless!

i am 29 y/o mother of a 9 y/o son and he was diagnosed with adhd and odd. He is the same way he gets very emotional and one minute he cries and then 5 minutes later it's like nothing happened. He gets very violent and upset when things do not go his way and he sometimes gets so violent that i have actually had to straddle him to keep him from hurting hisself or other family members. I know a lot about what you are going through and my son has been put on strattera and he is doing wonderful. He is also on other meds to keep the violent outburts to a minimum an dit does help. I do know that one medicine that you do not want your child put on is the adderal because it can cause your child to go crazy and i do mean crazy. My son was on it for a week and he started seeing things and hearing voices. My name is C.,by the way , and if you need anymore info just let me know.

My son was diagnosed with separation anxiety disorder when he was 10. My heart is with you. It was a struggle for years until I did my own researches. Knowledge is power. He is 25 now and he uses his experience with anxiety disorder to try and help others. God was and is his greatest help. Your daughter sounds like a beautiful person and I believe this experience will turn to be good for her when you begin to learn how to make it work for her good. Believe me, for years I cried and blamed myself for my son's condition. But i have come to accept whatever God's plans are and know He will make it all good for my son.

Talk to your pediatrician. ADHD is VERY over/misdiagnosed in the US. (I'm a former Pharmacy Technician and now a High School teacher) This might not have anything to do with a medical condition. Maybe it's a learned behavior.

My advice: Don't jump to conclusions that will label your child forever....

I have a daughter with severe level 5 ADHD. How you are describing your daughter sound exactly like mine at her age. Even to the knocking people over instead of simply saying hello. The hardest thing was getting an actual diagnosis. Both my husband and other relatives have ADD or ADHD and a cousin of hers is more severe then she yet it took us 6 years to find a counselor who would even hear what we were saying. If you are in the local Montgomery area I can give you the name of 2 doctors. Just let me know. They have worked wonders for us. Take care and God Bless~ M.

Hi T.,
I too have a daughter that has ADHD. I started noticing it at age 4 too with all the temper tantrums, roughness, etc. etc.
I finally took her to have a psychiatric evaluation to see if she might have ADHD. They said she did. They put her on medicine which helped with the concentration problems and calmed her down but really it was too much. She was losing weight and was a little bit like a robot, not even talking much. We went through so many different kinds of medicines and none of it was really working in the way I needed it to. After much consideration I took her off of it completely and now I am having to homeschool her because of the concentration problems at school. The teachers did not know how to handle her having ADHD. She would daydream alot and not listen but now that she is home she completely pays attention. She is now 14 and I think she has outgrown most of the symptoms of ADHD except for paying attention. Just hang in there it will get better the older she gets. There is alot on the internet on how to handle a child with ADHD. It helped alot with some of the problems I had with my daughter. Good luck and just remember you know your daughter and what she needs before any doctor does.

I have the answer for both your daughter and your husband. I would be happy to put you in touch with people you can talk with who have had these problems. Just give me a call on my cell phone at ###-###-####. J. F.

Hi T., I work in the special education dept. at a school. and this sounds like ADHD. Is your child in pre-K or Kindegarden, If so have the school do some testing.

I just took a survey on ADHD and it sounds like your daughter may have some symptoms. Have her evaluated with a psychologist just to make sure. The earliest the diagnosis the better.

I think you pretty much have all of the clues to solving your issue. For starters, you have a typical 4 year old with a younger sibling- they both demand alot of time I am sure. Keep in mind the 4 year old is already having to share you with the younger child and to add you are running a daycare which is causing you to have to give him/her less attention. I have 2 children
(7 and 9) and have had a family child care home for the past 10 years. The friendships are great for the kids, but we give our kids less direct attention (which they truly need more of). I would advise you not to give in to the ADHD hype- I am also a certified teacher. Provide structure, routine and consistency in every area of your family life and see how things successfully unfold- Good luck! Try a routine for a few months- read some articles and books on typical 4 year old behavior and try some advise- if that doesn't work seek a Dr's professional help.

well T.,
I'm a mother of 4, 5months,2,5,9...

It sounds also like she may be showing some sighs of Bi Polar, but they will see her for that at such a young age.
My 5 year old boy acts alot like your daudhter, running up to people almost knocking them over.. And then sometimes not letting them go.
He now kicks stuff when he is mad or I will call it anger, He walks away and says leave me alone dont touch me.. I think he is ADHD but possibly bi Polar also. I will take him to the Daily Center soon to see what she thinks. I think I'm afrade to find out. got any more questions, Email @ ____@____.com

I'm sure you can attribute much of it, if not all of it to being her age. But you may want to have her symptoms checked by some kind of professional. However, I would not trust just one professional's opinion because I think sometimes doctors misdiagnose either because they're lazy, or not an expert in the field, or just to get you to spend more of your money on treatments, visits, and drugs. So just be cautious, and try not to medicate anything unnecessarily because that can do damage.

Your daughter sounds like a child with very kinesthetic learning and communication mode. I doubt that she has ADHD. Many kinestheitc children are misdaignosed with this condition. Does your daughter like to touch everything? Does she learn by doing things instead of watching you do them? For example, if you told her how to put on her shoes and how to tell them apart, would she get if after you told her what make the shoes FEEL wrong instead of why they look wrong? Think about it and look up some facts on different modes of communication. I think you'll find that your 4 year old just has that style. They tend to be extremely emotional. They tend to have a lot of drama. They tend to want to help with everything. Hope that helps you.

MM

My four - almost five - year old girl acts in a similar way. I have talked with the doctor about it and she says it is just her age and phase, and with some personality mixed in.
My daughter and I talk out scenarios that might upset her and rehearse her reactions to them. Practice throwing a kink in things too, letting her know it is just for practice.
Her preschool worked really hard with her too, praising her when she could control her behaviour. In her 3 year old class part of the report card for every kid was "can they control their emotions, can they use big words, and can they play with other kids (thus sharing without tears)".
We have also said, "if you need to act that way, you can do so in your room. You cannot act that way around us/your friends/grandmother. " If she won't go, take her bodily to her room and tell her she can't come out until she is calm. This isn't punishment, this is just teaching her repurcussions and how to control herself. You are taching her what you expect from her. Once she gets in her room she might be distracted by her toys, so all the better.
My girl has improved a lot, but still has moments of being emotionally overwhelmed. I think every kid goes through this, some are just more sensitive than others. She probably doesn't like being overwhelmed anymore than you.
Also looking at how you react to her tantrums will help. I find whispering when I feel like yelling helps to keep a situation calm and prevents a scene.
There is a new TV show on Nick called Ni Hao, Kai-Lan that actually addresses alot of emotional issues, and is right up our alley. We have already taken some stuff they talk about and mention that strategy when we are heading to a bad place.
Good luck, from another high spirited kids' mom.

I am the mother of an 8 year old son who has a diagnosis of ADHD. He is currently taking Adderal for it and seems to help with his grades and attention at school. HOWEVER, if something doesn't go the way he wants it to or if i tell him something he doesn't want to hear he will throw a fit and act out. Crying, pouting and feelings of insecurity are also noted. I am a nurse and trust me it is very hard to deal with at times. It sounds like to me she has it esp. since your husband does...just get her tested. Good Luck!!!! I know its hard.

we had a bottle of ice water with a spray nozzell on it. One squirt in the face will bring her back to reality. Don't allow bad behavior... when you say stop there has to be some follow through by you and your husband. I bet it was cute when she was 2... If you don't get a handle on it soon it will be even harder as she gets older. Bad behavior is often allowed because we give them the excuse .... "Well they have a problem" Bad behavior is bad behavior... it has to be taught. She can control you have to teach her how and don't tell her more than once. Follow through weather its taking her to the bathroom and spanking her bottom or withholding somthing she holds dear or making her sit still in the corner for 1 minute per year she is old. Don't give up.. kids with ADHD are trainable you just have to be persistant.
be patient and be diligent!
You are in the process of "training up a child the way they should go" its not easy but it is possible... I will pray for you.

Hi there T.,
It doesn't sound like ADHD to me when you speak of your daughter.if just being over emotional is pretty much her only symptom,I would be looking at other possibilities.I would definately talk this over with her doctor as it does seem a little unusual from societies norm(guh!)
I am by no means a medical pro.Just responding to all i have read and witnessed in my soon to be 5 year old son.He is textbook ADHD and some folks think hes showing signs of Aspergers.He was recently diagnosed ADHD and the day he turns 5(Saterday) we are starting him on meds.I know for the longest while we said we are gonna try meds ONLY when we just have no other option.He has gotten to the point where for his own wellbeing and happiness(and kindergarten) and for our own of course.we have no other option.
Good luck to you and your daughter!!Shes unique;)

My first question would be has she ever seen dad do the emotional reactions before. If she has she might just be acting out what she has seem him do. Talk to your husband mom and dad and or relatives and ask them questions about when he was little and how he acted. Ask your husband to pay attention what she is doing and see what he thinks. Do a lot of research before you go to your doctor. Because the test that the doctor gives is just asking you a whole bunch of questions. Talk to his family and your husband about it before you seek a doctor.
God Bless
S. Jane

When there is just you and your daughter, talk to her and tell her want her to do in different situations. (This is simular to your husbands planning.) Giving her chores to help you should make her feel important. But keep them simple.
For instance have her put napkins on the table and weeks later if that works have her put silverware.
If one of the other kids throws up have her get a towel to wipe it up with.
If you have several children crying have her play with one of them.
Little kids like to feel important and helping makes them feel this way.
Be sure to praise her good behavior.

Hello T.,
I am a firm believer in everything being directly related to our diets. Unfortunately, in our culture today there are so many fillers and preservatives in all the fast foods, prepared foods and instant foods that are consumed; and we have gradually allowed them to become apart of our daily routine for nutrition. Well there is no way we can get the nutrition we need from these kinds of foods.
T., the best tip I have ever received to make sure one is eating healthy was simply "avoid white as much as possible & eat lots of colors".
'White' means... sugars (sodas especially - I know that is a big ouch for many) white flour, white rice, white breads, mayo, and ice cream just to name of few - oh, and I don't want to forget salt (a personal weakness). And then of course the 'colors' are all your vegetables and fruits.
To take the guesswork out of making sure your daughter is getting all the vitamins, minerals and trace minerals that she needs a good children's supplement that meets the disintegration standards would be great, if she isn't already taking one.
I always remind myself, I cannot expect my body to function in its optimum condition if I am not suppling it with everything it needs, as well as avoiding the junk (moderation is good as long as it stays moderate;-)
If you have never tried removing processed sugars from your daughter's diet, I think you will be pleasantly surprised the difference it makes. Not exactly the easiest task, probably even ask yourself a few times 'what doesn't have processed sugar?' A simple fact to help make the task a bit easier is... sugar we consume turns into acid in our bodies and just think of what too much acid in our bodies would do, we need a balance but too much is harmful. I think most people think of sugar as energy, but there are much healthier foods to fuel our bodies.
I believe developing healthy eating habits for our children is a direct responsibility of the parents, (I wish there were 'do-overs' because I don't think I did a very good job teaching my children healthy eating habits as a way of life). But it is hard when as adults we have not established them for ourselves - makes it a challenge to be the 'example'. But I do know it is a self-discipline that when just incorporated into our 'little-ones' lives is a habit that will serve them and their health very well throughout their lifetime.
Please keep in mind T., I have no idea the routine menu for you and your family, I am sure eating healthy is very important to you, I just hope to shed some light on a few possiblities that might help with your daughter being a little hyper.

V. D

Hi there! I too have a 4 year old and a two year old and my 4 year old sounds a lot like yours!!! It's possible she has ADHD, but before you decide that, look at what you are feeding her. A lot of people can have ADHD-like reactions to certain artificial colors and flavors in the foods we eat. Things like red 40 (any of the reds actually), yellow 5 & 6, blue 1 & 2, and high fructose corn syrup are especially aggravating to my little girl! I switched her to a more natural based diet, and her behavior has improved drastically! Most grocery stores and supercenters sell natural brands and yes, they're slightly more expensive, ranging from 50 cents more to a dollar more sometimes, BUT, I kind of figure it's still cheaper than paying for monthly doctors visits and ADHD medication!!!

My daughter also gets more hyper and emotional when she doesn't get enough sleep (like if she's up too late or misses her nap!), so I have to really be careful about getting her to bed at a decent hour and I plan at least three days a week to be home for naptime!

Hope this helps! :)

First thought: Put your daycare business on the shelf. Focus on this child more. Learn all you can about her personality and symptoms. Children 'pick up' behaviors from other children for sure...Just a suggestion, but because every child is so unique and needs so different... getting other children out of her home might reveal those needs and/or causes for her behavior. Obviously, she has a little sister in the home...I think that's enough 'people' for her to deal with at this point in her life.
Thanks for receiving my response.

Hi, I have a daughter that has aspergers, ADHD, and OCD. I am not a doctor but work with children with ADHD and the symptoms you discribed does not sound like ADHD to me. I think sometimes children are overwhelmed by their own emotions. I could be wrong, just my opinion. I think your daughter will just grow out of these things. I think its kind of sweet that she expresses herself like that.

Hi T.,
Bless you! You certainly have your hands full. Your little girl could just be trying to get special attention. Have you tried just walking away and ignoring the outbursts? As for being excited when she sees someone she cares about, she's still very young - what's wrong with that? I was about 8 or 9 when my parents came to the school one day to pick us up. My dad had been gone to war. When I saw him, I went running up to him and jumped up into his arms - I was so happy and excited to see him again and it was a surprise. Mom hadn't said anything. Well, Mom very disapprovingly said I needed to get down, little girls don't act that way. Needless to say, I have been trying ever since to figure out how I'm supposed to act. What the heck is wrong with running up to someone and giving them a hug? I am now 53 and still hold back, but my grandkids ages 6 - 12 know their exuberant hugs and joyous yells are okay and welcome.

My six year old son was just diagnosed with ADHD. And he exhibited some of the same behaviors when he was four. I just thought that he was spoiled because he would throw tantrums when he couldn't get his way. The problem got worse once he started kindergarten, but I still had no idea what the problem was. Once he started first grade his behavior did not improve and his grades began to slip. He is now on medication and hasn't been in trouble at school since then. Actually he received two awards for improvement in behavior and his grades have dramatically improved. I would tell you to keep and eye on her and when she begins school if the behavior doesn't change, then have her evaluated by her doctor. Most doctors won't diagnose or prescribe meds on children younger than 5 or 6. I hope this helps.

My 6 year old son has ADD and OCD, just like his Dad. I have found the way to calm him is to get his attention, and then ask him what the problem is and then fix the problem. We went through about a year of this before someone could tell us he had ADD. I like to call it "getting animated" bacause no matter what the emotion they are so full of energy that it is hard to control, especially for them. We have had him on Adderal XL for almost 2 years and it seems to help. Ask you Doctor about the signs and symtoms and see what they say. I know after the Meds he is much calmer, however we still have "animated" times. But they are not as bad. At his age, he doesn't have the coping stills to deal with it so we give him medicine to help him out. He is also getting help thru his school for this. Which really seems to help him out alot when he is home...spring break is coming up and life will be very "animated" around my house with him and 5 silblings. LOL
Good luck, and please seek advice of a professional.

First I'd have her evaluated by her physician for possible ADHD and see what he/she would advise.