Trouble at School

Updated on February 13, 2008
L.G. asks from North Bend, NE
12 answers

My 4 year old daughter(who will be 5 in june) is having a hard time at school with recognizing and identifying sounds/letters. She is very bright and I know she knows all that the teacher says she is having trouble with because when we work at it at home she does an excellent job and gets 90% of them right. I don't know what to do, she starts kindergarten in the fall and I'm afraid she won't do so well in school because of this.

She does well with everything else, she's a very active child, she speaks very clearly, her vocabulary is amazing, and she is very social. She has no problem talking to people....just to talk. But I think once the school starts quizzing her on her letters she bottles up.

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your wonderful advice and encouragement. I know in the back of my mind that kids develop at different stages and that my daughter will eventually come into her own...I guess I'm just worrying too much! I must be a mother! LOL! Anyways, thanks again!

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C.S.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I she shy? My 6 yr old still does that sometimes. He knows his stuff but when one on one he clams up. It took him 6 mos to even talk to his teacher in preschool. Good Luck!

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L.D.

answers from Tucson on

Buy the Letter Factory Phonics Videos (at Walmart or Target). My Daughter learned all of her letters and phonic sounds at the age of 3. She is now 4 and starting kindergarten in the 2008/2009 school year also. I know you may think your child is not quite where you think she should be to start kindergarten ( I felt the same way when my oldest daughter started kindergarten last year) You will be shocked and surprised to see how she does know much more than you believe. They will teach her so much in kindergarten and she will learn so quickly that it will make your head spin! I cried the first time I heard my daughter recite the months and days of the week in the beginning of the school year! It is amazing how much children learn in such a fast period of time!

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R.S.

answers from Santa Fe on

When my very bright oldest son was four, we taught him to read. He seemed okay with it, but when he started kindergarten (in Los Alamos, where he attended school from kindergarten through 12th grade) he refused to read in class, and seemed to avoid books. We came to realize that even though we'd made it fun (we thought) he identified reading with stress and work. We backed off, and after a year or so he went back to it on his own. Reading is now a preferred leisure activity. (He is just finishing his PhD in physics).

I would not worry at this point--your daughter may be feeling your own concern and getting stressed about it. Her school may emphasize academics to a degree that is not appropriate to her own current emotional development (though she is bright and articulate, everyone is ready for things at their own pace). Perhaps the teacher could ease up a bit and let her be little while she can--the pressure of academic challenges will come soon enough. Instead of home drill on letters and sounds, it might be more comfortable (and valuable) to spend the time reading out loud to her, snuggled together.

I have raised nine children now. After the first, I did not press them academically when very small. Seven are in college or college graduates, two still in school here in Los Alamos. All are great readers

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M.L.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi L.,
I would not worry. My son who turns 5 in May was having similar issues and I knew it was just because he was not ready. His teacher was not too supportive at first and suggested he was too young for his class (most of the kids were already 5 or closer to turning 5). I know my son and he is one of the most intelligent little boys I know (I'm not at all biased :)). He is also stubborn (unfortunately takes after his momma a little bit) and when he doesn't want to do something, he won't. I told his teacher to give him a little time and guess what? He now recognizes all letters (upper & lower case) and can also read words. He is very good at sounding them out. It just takes time. Do not worry about your daughter, she will shine just when you least expect it! She just may need some time to come out of her shell when it comes to school and there is plenty of time ahead for that to happen - she's only 4 (almost 5) and I think people put way too much pressure on kids to not be kids and believe that they should all be too advanced for their ages. She sounds like she is right where she should be and that is great! :)

p.s. my son also has a tremendous vocabulary and speaks really well for his age (I can barely understand 1/2 of the kids in his class who are "older" and "should" be there) - that counts for a lot in my book!! :)

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T.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Don't sweat it! She will be fine! She will one day "get it", and them she will fly! No WOrries!

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L.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I wouldn't push her. Working in a school, I see many kids that come into kindergarten and can barely write their names or identify letters or numbers. I wouldn't stress too much about it until next year, and you may not even need to stress at all! Putting more pressure on her now isn't going to help in the long run. And this summer, before kindergarten starts, talk to her about what is going to happen, and maybe give her "practice" tests while you role-play plaing school.

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C.S.

answers from Phoenix on

It is natural for your daughter to not want to be tested... We all still clam up at the thought of formal testing. I taught elementary school for the last eight years and right now "testing" is quite popular to "supposedly" prove adequate learning. However, most children will naturally show when they are ready the knowledge that they have acquired. With the number of kids in preschool and regular classrooms, it is much more difficult for teachers to do all assessment at the time the child might be exactly ready to share information they have learned. As for now, I would not panic, just be aware of this discrepancy between home/school. The bottom line is your child has acquired the important information, now she has to develop her comfort level with expressing it. This information is useful tool for you to have when selecting kindergarten teachers, schools, etc. A teacher could make a HUGE difference in this situation. A relaxed, yet stimulating environment would be something to consider for your child.
A teacher that is willing to try many different testing approaches and learning styles so that your child will feel comfortable and ready to learn and express the knowledge as well.

Best of luck with your little angel!! :)

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K.C.

answers from Denver on

L., your daughter sounds like a very typical, wonderful little girl. I would not worry one little bit about how she'll do in kindergarten. My youngest is in kindergarten right now. There are kids in her class who are reading at the 2nd grade level and there are kids who cannot, even this far into the school year, recognize all the letters and their sounds (mine falls somewhere in between there like most of the kids). They are not really expected to know all the letters or their sounds before they enter kindergarten. That's what they learn in kindergarten. It sounds to me like your daughter is already ahead of the game by knowing most of them. Really, really don't worry...Alanna will do just fine!

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A.R.

answers from Denver on

First, relax. We spend so much time pressuring our children for fear they won't do well. It takes all the fun out of learning and if it's not fun they usually don't want to do it. Back off a while and let her learn at her own pace. I assure you she will catch up and probably excel if she is given the chance to love to learn.

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S.M.

answers from Denver on

Do not worry, i have a 4th grader and a 1st grader, when she starts Kindergarten they will spend tons of time working on the sounds of letters and identifying them. Your daughter will not be behind she will also work on her concentrating on the task at hand, like listening to the sounds. In School she has friends and toys and other things that are easy distractions at home we can better control those distractions therefore we get better results when we do things with them. It is all a part of the natural learning process. Everything you do at home with her will only help to advance her once she starts school. As moms we all worry that are kids will struggle or be behind but when both of my kids started I found they were ahead of the game because i do work with them at home all the time. If she is 90% with you once she gets in the school environment she will know everything you have taught her and all your hard work will show. Be proud your doing good and she will too.

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B.F.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I really don't think you have anything to worry about. My daughter just turned five and she is very bright and has a great vocabulary too. She has been having a hard time with letters and recognizing them as well. By next fall they both will have them down I bet. :D

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J.S.

answers from Flagstaff on

Sounds like you are offering her many opportunities for learning & growth, kids change in learning so fast from year to year. I am sure she will find her way, we all have such different learning styles, and I am sure all the 'pieces to the puzzle' will fall into place in her time. It is probably as you said, the 'quizzing'- trust your intuition, you know her best- she is probably just getting a little 'stage shy'. Keep having fun with it, doing all the wonderful things you are doing, Good Luck!

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