Topic Discussion Finished,thank You for Responses

Because the chance of my neighbor, friends, or family being on here is there. I may choose to ask a question regarding them, or such a personal issue that I wouldn't want them to know. That's what this site is for, not the 'social' side of it. It is a Q&A board! ;)

because I don't want to run into anyone on here that has answered my questions about my pregnancy, my birth, my children, my breasts, my "flow", my political views, or my religious views!

Hi B.,

I just don't want anyone I know seeing what I write. I have enough problems in the real world with the people I write about, the last thing I need is for them to say "I saw what you wrote about me on mamapedia!" LOL

Why do you care so much? Lots of questions here or pretty personal in nature and I would feel embarrassed if someone in town recognized my picture and put two and two together. Sometimes I ask questions that I would be too embarassed to ask anyone who knows me! And no, I am not ugly nor am I hiding anything.

I just want to be able to give honest answers without anyone knowing who I am.

After reading Your "So What Happen" I just wanted to say that I would give you the same answer face to face if you asked me, I don't change my answer just because I don't have a picture. What I didn't like was when a friend came to me and told me how she was reading everything I wrote and wanted to discuss how I answered some of the questions. I did not feel a need to defend my answers or want to.
I enjoy reading your responses but I have never once looked at your picture. I really don't care what you look like. Of course now you have me curious...
Also, I am not offended by your question I think you got some great reponses.

Because I'm really a 12yo boy with an active imagination, I have 2.5 heads instead of children, I have naturally curly hair (yikes), half of why I'm an amature photographer is so I can stay behind the camera.

Okay, so only half of that was true.

Honestly (in addition to the half that's true), it's because this is a message board instead of social networking. I don't post photos of myself on message boards or blogs (nor do I use my real name... but if it makes anyone feel any better I don't publish under my real name either unless they're academic papers. I took that page from Barbara Mertz / Elizabeth Peters... keep professions separate). The photo option is also brand new. For the vast majority of the time Mamasource was like any other message board... without an "upload photo" option. Since changing over to mamapedia they have it, but a lot of us carry overs haven't updated with the new system. We just use it the same way we used mamasource.

I love it when others have photos.

I think you are wrong to think someone is being dishonest or saying more than they would in person because they do not have a photo up. I don't have a photo up because I never bothered, and what I look like has nothing to do with what kind of mother I am or what kind of advice I give. If you need to know what someone looks like to trust their advice, I find that very shallow. Sorry, but that is my opinion.

Added: I just noticed that facebook automatically put up my profile picture from that page, so I guess I do have a photo up (although it is not of myself), but that does not change my answer. I still feel that what someone looks like has no bearing on the advice they give.

I feel I can be 100% truthful with my answers and posts. I have friends and acquaintances that are on this site and don't think I could be that way if I posted a picture of myself.

I also feel that there are some women that would be quick to judge others by looking at their picture. Sad but true.

I like my picture... My wings are such a lovely shade of red and my antennae are smooth and shiny.
;-)

I don't post my real picture because my opinion is my opinion. I don't want to be judged. And really - do you need my photograph to get to know me?
You all know the real me...
LBC

personally, i don't bother looking at anyones pictures. To me this site is a message board for Mothering/woman's questions, not a place to hook up with friends.

What people look like shouldn't affect the advice they give or how you would answer the questions they ask. My guess is people with out their pictures are giving you a truer response and asking honest questions.

because I don't really feel like it lol.

Hi B.,

There is so much opportunity for personal info to be out there constantly on the internet. I didn't do a profile pic because I want to keep some things in my life private and not have to worry about people critiquing me or whatever.....

There is a privacy concern. I put my pic and have had me and my hubby on here and I post my grandkids now and then BUT, I really feel like some privacy needs to be in place because some of my answers (if read by someone that actually knows me) may have something to do with the person that might know me and could be offensive to them in some way. ALSO if you go to the search bar and type your user name in and put mamapedia next to it, everything you have ever posted on here comes up for the entire world to see.... Sometimes it's just best not to show your face.
My kindergarten pic is up right now tho :)
ADD
Just changed it to a stereo type Grandma from when I was little :)

Frankly B., I don't care to share my pic and believe me you aren't missing anything ;-)

Response to "So What Happend"

The reason people are offended is because you threw the majority of users under the bus by calling us all fake; if you don't like that keep it to yourself. As far as rude responses, they will always happen if people are hidden or not; I do notice however, that some people attract more rude responses than others. I believe this stems from their writing style and mannerisms on this website; in other words sometimes we need to look into the mirror to fix the problem we are having.

This is the internet some people put far too much personal information on here for the whole world to see.I have never disclosed my real name,have no profile pic & never disclosed my childrens names.I don't want to be tracked down for something that someone took personally,lots link up form Facebook I deleted my account from there because it wouldn't let be be specific enough in deleting & not adding in an email address I wasn't on there to make 'friends"or find old "friends" just keeping in touch with family.
So what are your assumptions??

I like being anonymous, too.

I truly don't want anyone to know its "me". When I worked full time I was an H.R. Manager and we used to use Facebook, Myspace and any other google searches as part of our application process. B/c of that - I never wanted to google my name and find out more info than they needed to know about me. My life and family are private and I don't want the world to know. So, with this, I do not have a facebook acct and I do not post pics anywhere that the public has access to. If I want someone to have my pic I will personally send it.

Hope this doesn't offend and I agree with another poster - it doesn't mean that I am still not posting my honest answers - I just don't think my face needs to be all over the internet. Along with my user names - I don't ever use my name for the same reason.

I'm a private person, this is the only social networking site I am on. I don't have Facebook or anything else. I orginally started posting here because a girlfriend suggested it and I was having sleep issues with my then 4 month old daughter. It is somewhat out of my comfort zone to even be here, but I just love Mamasource so much! I don't put a pic up because I am what my friends (lovingly, I hope!) call a "conspiracy theorist", and I don't want my picture up for just anyone to see. Also, I don't spend much time on my own profile here because there is always so much good reading to do! :)

I have thought about that too. But I don't have my picture posted either! This web site is not for making friends, like Myspace or facebook. What we post is very public, as there is no way to secure our "profile" as private for only a few select to see. I was shocked to see that fathers have posted here and I've even seen posts that are so obviously teenagers, pretending to be mothers. People, whoever they are, post questions here in hopes of getting honest, straight forward advice, suggestions, and quite often, opinions from rather harshly opinionated folks! We live in a world today where when people don't like what you have to say, they take matters into their own hands and do unthinkable things all because they didn't like what someone else had to say. Honestly, I have not come across anyone who has yet to post a picture of themselves. I can't say I blame them, because I have no intentions of posting a picture of me. Yes, it's true that some people have no problem with baring their ugliness behind a mask (remaining anonymous) but I believe for the most part, many of the mammas I've seen as "regulars" here, are fairly honest, genuine mothers. They don't need a picture to suggest otherwise and I tend to be suspicious of "off the wall" posts and rarely participate by responding to them.

I don't post pictures of myself or family anywhere.
Public forums are a lot more public than most people want to believe.
I prefer a degree of anonymity and it frees me to say what I really think.
I don't want my work/HR Dept tracking what I say (HR is all over Facebook).
When I'm not working my opinion is my own and it's not my employers business.

My answer is much different than the other mamas, my answer is: Laziness, lol! Life is so busy, and I don't use this site to network with family and friends with whom I'd like to share my photos, so when uploading pics, I choose to upload them to facebook or myfamily.com instead. But now you've made me feel a little guilty and I think I may have to add one, because I really do enjoy a pic when I click on someones profile to 'see' who gave me that great advice!
Good question!

I have a pic, but mostly because I sign in through facebook so it uses that picture for this site. If I didn't, I would probably do one anyway just because I enjoy having personalized profiles for things like this.... but I imagine that a lot of mothers don't care about the social aspect of this site and are only interested in the questions and answers... which is their prerogative. Not to mention, I LOVE the anonymity of this site! It's the main reason I come here instead of asking people I know... I can give honest answers instead of hedging my opinion to avoid the confrontation that some can cause. I can ask questions I wouldn't feel comfortable, or feel stupid, asking someone else. I like seeing pics on profiles, because it's always interesting to see the face behind the answer, but if they don't have one I don't care. I have never met any of these women before anyway, so they are just as anonymous with a picture as they are without.

I have a profile pic!!! I still feel like I'm "anonymous". I mean...unless you're my neighhbor or friend, you still don't know who I am, even if you can "see" me. And I agree...I'm always a little disappointed when I click on someone and there's no photo. Especially when they're asking/talking about hair. =)

I'm writing this AFTER seeing the "What Happened"
and AFTER having read many of the answers.
I appreciate the question, learned more
about some of people here from the answers.
I'm one who had/has judgments about photos.
Usually positive judgments.
I've occasionally written to moms who have posted pictures.
To compliment them.
One had a picture of flowers in a yard.
Some have pix of their children.
There's one mom here who has had (what appear to be)
professional artistic photos of herself with her baby.
GORGEOUS!
So . . . . I appreciate the answers from women who talked
about privacy and vulnerability, etc.
Thank you for helping me understand that topic.
And, I imagine that some moms don't know HOW to put up a photo.

I don't even have a pic up on my FB page where most of the people actually know me. I don't care for my picture and I really don't anyone's missing anything.

Hmmmmm -I wouldn't hesitate to say anything I've written here to the person in the flesh if that's the way the question presented itself, but like some others, I don't want people who are completely random to me "recognizing" me -although that would probably be a fluke. I just feel like it's easier to share some experiences and ask certain questions to a panel of "strangers." I've used my real name and real last initial and location, and I know other women in my community visit this site. I have no idea how often they look at it or if they have an alias on it or what, but I don't necessarily need for them all to know something I may divulge to a person in Topeka if it fits their question.

If I was in Walmart and someone said "hey H." I love your posts. I would probably have to change my name. I feel better being anonomous, sort of how we don't know what God looks like, ya know?

I have a pic. I don't care who judges me, who critiques me, or who laughs at my face. If you want to see who is posting/responding....there ya go. I put a picture up to show who I am.
I see if a person has a pic. I guess I just like putting a face to a name or advice. I don't judge people on how good their advice is based on how they look. I also don't judge someone on their age, their weight, how many children they have, what kind of car they drive, where they live, etc etc. I also don't think the advice is any greater or truer, or more honest if the person doesn't have a picture or vice versa.
There are also reverse image programs to find if your picture is anywhere else on the internet. None of the pictures I have posted on facebook or anywhere else, are found on websites I do not use. So I am not that concerned about that either. Of course people can always "save" your picture for whatever reason.
I guess to each their own.

I never thought to. Personally I don't think it matters what someone looks like and I have never looked to see someones pic. My question to you is why do you care if people posts their pics or not? I don't think people are fake it probably means that most of us just simply don't care to.

EDIT I sign on through FB so you can see my kids pic. I change my pic every so often.

yeah i often click on people hoping to place a face with advice, or comedy. I just clicked on mine to see that my "kids in the pool pic was still up, but its not, apparantly facebook changes the pic.

i guess i'm way too cavalier about internet privacy. i've got pics everyfrickinwhere and it's not because i'm so thrilled with my looks!
:D
khairete
S.

Hi B.,

I feel you're projecting your own assumpitons on to folks who don't post. Neither is righ or wrong, we just choose not to for various reasons. I love your photo of you with your family, and I celebrate you that you have taken the time to provide us the picture as well as "a little about me." I also have great respect for everyone who doesn't......in the end, we're all mothers doing the best we can with what we know, right? We are powerful women, and there is room for a variety of us, regardless if we post a pic. or not.

Much love and compassion,
S.

I didn't read your prior posts by my picture up here is the same as Facebook, it updates when I update my FB pic. I don't know how it does it, but it does. =)

I would like to post a profile picture but don't for the basic reason that doing so would take concerted effort and time for me. First, I don't have a recent picture of myself. My daughter does and I have asked her to post one but she's really busy. Also I don't know how to post one and so I wait for my daughter to do so.

I like to see profile pictures. What I appreciate even more is a profile and I noticed that most people don't even post that.

I think what we write tells more about ourselves than a picture would. I don't think that not having a picture posted adds to anonymity. A profile can reveal parts of who we are more so than a picture. As you said, we can make assumptions based on what someone looks like. What they say about themselves, their questions and the answers they give tells us what they are thinking which is a more accurate picture of who they are than a picture is..

I don't have any presumptions about why people do or don't post a picture. I cannot possibly know why another person, whom I haven't met, let alone don't know, would do or not do something.