Too Young to Be Flower Girl?

Ultimately the Bride and Groom MUST have a sense of humor and be FLEXIBLE. Any time you include children in the wedding party you 'get what you get' on the day of the wedding. Being willing to compromise and not become stressed will go a long way whne working with children.

Hi, my daughter was a flower girl at age 3 and again at age 4. She absolutely loved both experiences. The first time, she needed to walk down with someone else in the bridal party (me and the other flower girl). The second time she was a pro. I grew up in a family where it wasn't unusual for children to start getting involved as young as age 2. My son did that this year for my sister, as ring bearer. He was fine and again, enjoyed the experience. I hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding!

Hi, I got married almost three years ago and had my niece as the flower girl. She was 2 1/2 at the time. She was great she walked down the isle without hesitation. I didn't have her drop flowers unless she wanted to and she did great. She loved the fact that she was "getting married" and got to wear her own special "wedding dress." She still talks about the wedding to this day and wants to know if her auntie and uncle are getting married again. I think all little girls would love the idea of dressing up in a pretty princess dress. Good Luck!

Hi,

My daughter was the flower girl in my sisters wedding when she was about 28 mnths. old. Since I was also a part of the wedding, we had her walk down the asile holding my hand. It was a great way to ensure that she'd make it down the asile. She got so many "oohs and how cutes" that she was beaming. She had a wonderful time. That being said...here are a few things to think about. What time will the wedding be? Will it affect her nap or is she a child that is pretty adaptable when she hasn't slept. Have her go to the rehersal and see how she reacts. That will give you a good indication as to whether or not she'll perform her duty the next day. Have a back up plan if it's not going to work out. Don't put to much pressure on her (or on you) it's not worth it. Ask if you can bring a sitter for her. Yes, there will be a ton of family members and friends attending but having someone there that has their eyes exclusively on her and who's in charge of potty breaks, snacks and jammies is soooo helpful. My daughter had a blast and danced herself to sleep on the dance floor. She's 4 now and still talks about it. One last tip. Flower girl dresses can be really expensive. We got our "flower girl" dress at a department store after Easter on clearence for about $12 bucks. Keep your eyes open for deals.
Good Luck!

My nephew's 2yr old did a great job but they had her ride in a nicely decorated wagon!

my daughter was a flower girl last year and she loved it she did a great job and thought she was such a big kid to wear a fancy dress and hold the flowers i would talk about it often with her and ask her questions and take her to a bridal shop to look at the dresses she should do fine we had no problems at all with my now 4 year old who still talks about how much fun she had and how she got to ride in a limo like a big person so i hope this was helpful goods luck from K.

My niece was our flower girl when she was 20 months old. Is it the ideal situation...no!! But I would not have had it any other way. Everyone thought we were absolutely crazy to have her in the wedding, but for us it was extremely important to involve all of the little cousins. We were also flexible with her during the ceremony, at one point she noticed a really trusted friend in the audience and ran to her, which was absolutely fine (and pretty darn cute!). Have her walk down the aisle (assisted if she gets nervous about all the people), and then let her sit with a family member or friend. So...just be prepared for meltdowns, and always have a plan B. Good luck and have fun!!

We had my daughter walk down with the maid of honor... that way she wouldn't be freaked out walking down the isle by herself. It worked well! She loved getting all dressed up and had a great time!

I had my nephew, then two, in my wedding. I think it made my in-laws nervous as they kept asking "what if he doesn't make it down the isle". My thought on it was if he made it GREAT, if he didn't I had his grandparents and aunt in the front and rear of the church "Just in case". He made it down with no problems (his mother was in the wedding), coming back was cute as my niece was the flower girl and wanted to hold his hand. He kept pushing her away and it was a comical exit as he did win by tripping her.

I would say go for it. Just watch what stuffed animals he brings, my nephew brought a stuffed animal to the church for rehersal and we didn't realize until we did the walk through that it was a little devil. Glad that the minister had a sense of humor.

Not too young, just be prepared for set backs. She may not want to do it at the last minute, and everyone needs to be prepared for that and be okay with it.

E., My daughter was a flower girl in my brother-in-laws wedding at age 2 years 2 months. She's typically very shy, but did great that day. I sat up in the front of the church and made sure she could see me coming down the aisle. I had a big fat lolly pop I was waving for her to get down the aisle. worked like a charm! The good thing is, no matter what happens that day, kids are cute whether they make it all the way down the aisle or not! good luck.
C.

I think she will be fine. My niece was 2 when she was a flower girl in my wedding. She made it down the aisle but just barely. I realized that she was going to have difficulty with it but just went with the flow. I made sure she had someone familiar waiting for her at the end. I think it will be very sweet. Good luck!

my flower girl was 3. I had a JR Bridesmaid walk with her to help her along and it worked out perfectly. It also helped that she had a nap right before the wedding ceremony but even if it hadn't been "perfect" I figured it would be cute either way. If the bride has an open and good attitude I say, "go for it." If she wants everything perfect, you may want to reconsider. Good luck

Hi E.,
I think she should be fine...our friends had our daughter in their weeding when she was 1 and a half and she did really really good. Just practice with her so she will know what you expect of her! I practiced with my little one for 4 months and she knew more or less what we wanted her to do but she still added her own little touch ( she spiked her monkey on the brick walkway...our friends were really accepting of her needing her lovey!) I think that she will do great and remember to just coach her alot and let her know that you will support her if she needs you. hope this helps!
J. H

My niece was our flower girl when she was 3 and she did fantastic. The good thing is at that age, even if they don't do it "right" they will make your guests laugh. Everyone loves when a little flower girl dumps all the petals on the ground at once!

The answer depends on the bride's personality, your daughter's personality, her mood on that particular day, the setting and formality of the wedding, the weather/temperature that day, etc., etc., etc..

My very active and demanding daughter was a flower girl at three- and it worked out fine because the bride was willing to accomodate her at the last minute.

My daughter insisted that she must strew flower petals as she walked down the aisle. This had not been planned, but the bride graciously (and maturely) headed off a potential tantrum by plucking a rose from an arrangement and allowing my daughter to walk the aisle and pluck petals at will.

All went beautifully and my daughter, now six, treasures the experience.

So, there are so many variables that no one could accurately predict the outcome. Life is a gamble. Marriage is for better or worse. Even if your daughter turns out to be uncooperative on that day, chances are, a three year old flower girl's tantrum will be remembered fondly one day as the first bump in a long road!

I had a very young flower girl in my wedding. What we did was to seat her parents close to the front so that after she walked down the aisle, she was able to go to them and sit down.

J. (-:

My daughter was just under 3 when she was a flower girl at an informal wedding...but she was born with an incredible "socially acceptable behavior" gene. My brother was also 3 when he was a ring-bearer, and he did great. The only thing he did "off-script" was give me a tiny little wave from under the pillow.

You know your little one best. If YOU think she can handle it, odds are, she can. Just be ready for some possible little spontaneous moment.

Hi,
When I got married six years ago I had 2 barely 2 year old flower girls. I just wanted them included so I was ready for anything. I told their moms that if they didn't walk down it was okay with me. They ended up walking down with their moms at the sides (although I think they would have been fine alone). I think if the bride and groom are comfortable with the unexpected then I say go for it. It doesn't matter how old a child is when it comes to big events, anything can happen! I think that's what makes it fun and memorable. I hope it works out for you.
C.

First of all it truly depends on the child's personality. If she is outgoing and social it should be no problem. However if she tends to be shy and reserved in new situations it may be overwhelming to walk down in front of lots of people,many of them strangers I expect!
My daughter was 2yrs 5 months at my brothers wedding and loved it. She was adorable.
Some suggestions: practice at home, play wedding set up your expectations with her about appropriate behavior. Take her to the rehersal but get her to bed on time afterwards so she is at her best the next day
And lastly be prepared she may balk when it comes time to march! Don't get your hopes up or down this is a reality and the Bride is the star so if the flower girl doesn't walk, don't make a big deal of it!
after its over let her put the dress in her dress up play box, she will never wear it again anywhere else!

My daughter was in a wedding when she was just a little over 2 along with her brother who was 4 at the time. I think your daughter will do just fine! I just sat at the end of the aisle looking at them, so they felt like they were walking to me! Have fun!

My daughter was a flower girl last October and she was 2.9. I also thought she was a lttle to young, but they really wanted her in the wedding. The wedding advisor at the church recommended to the bride and groom to have the flower girl walk down with the junior bridesmaid and usher. They did not have a ringbearer. She walked down and back perfectly. She sat with the wedding party in the first seat and did not make a noise. (I also told her if she put her listening ears on and sat like a big girl with the other big girls. That I have a surprise in the car for her. We gave her a snowwhite barbie doll. It worked out great at the reception also with the doll. The guests at the wedding commented to us that you would not know that a 2.9yr old was in the church. The wedding advisor also had my husband sit in the seat behind our daughter and I sat in the last row of the church in case she got scared and ran down the aisle. Your daughter will be fine. You will be surprised!!!

E.,
I think a lot has to do your with daughter's personality. When my husband and I got married over 7 years ago, we had 4 flowergirls-one was just barely 3 and one with just under 3. They both did great!! They were so excited and adorable. I think it might have help to have the older girls with them.
Even if your daughter is on the shy side, how nice of your brother to want to include her-I'm sure you can work out a way to have someone walk her down the aisle if she gets cold feet. Good luck!

Hi E.,

My daughter was in my brothers wedding when she was 13 mo old and she was just fine. The reception started at 5ish and by that time she was so tired she slept through the whole party. As long as your daughter is not afraid of a crowd she will have fun, and look so cute in what ever she wears ! Also, if she does panic at the last moment just have the bride have a back up plan ready so the day will run smoothly for everyone.

If your daughter is not shy, can basically follow directions, and the bride is not too high maintenence you should be fine. You might not get perfect execution from a 3 year old, but that might be what everyone wants anyway. I chose my older nephew (8) as my ring bearer and if I had it to do over would have gone with the younger one (4) - I traded cuteness for perfection. My neices (2+ and 4) were shy flower girls and barely made it down the aisle, but they were real cute and people thought it was sweet.

I think she'd be fine. My son was four, and was fine...although I snuck french fries into the church to bribe him during the ceremony. If they're having a little boy as ring bearer, maybe get the two kids together even before the rehearsal, so they can play together...that might help!

That's a great age to be the flower girl! She'll feel like a princess and your brother will remember it forever. People usually know that unexpected things can occur with little people in a wedding, it's ok. My son was the ring bearer for my sister, he was only 3...he stole the show! I come from a very large family, all had young children in their weddings and all went fine, even when they wouldn't walk down the isle alone! My niece ended up walking down holding the bride's hand...not what they wanted but it made it even sweeter!

Hi E. (that's my youngest's name :)),
You've gotten some great responses, and I figured I'd throw in my two cents. As long as nobody has expectations that are too high for a child this age, I'd say go for it! Just be prepared for anything, including the possibility that even if all practices and rehearsals are perfect, she might just freak out at the actual wedding and decide to not walk down the aisle at all (or just stand there and cry). I'm not saying that's probable, but just that it's possible. (I'm speaking from experience here; my oldest daughter was a flower girl four times before she was four years old, and one of the times, that's exactly what happened. I had to just go down the aisle and pick her up. We scattered the petals together while I was holding her as I walked back up the aisle to my seat.) As long as you're all okay with that (especially the bride), then all will be fine. Personally, I think the further they stray from what's "expected," the cuter they are.

One benefit of all those flower girl experiences is that we now have several beautiful dresses for the girls' dress-up box (the consignment shop wouldn't take them unless they were perfect, and when a 3 year old wears a white dress for a party which includes food, the chances of it remaining perfect are quite close to zero.).

Basically what it boils down to is that as long as everyone can just have fun, and the bride isn't neurotic, then it will be a great day!

E.,

My neices were 2.5 and 4 when I had them as flower girls at my wedding. They were awsome. I would reccomend involving them as long as everyone involved understands that it might not run perfectly. My 2.5 year old neice had to be coaxed down the isle because the priest told her to walk slowly.

10 years later and the girls are still talking about being in our wedding.

C.

commit to it, but make them very aware that she may not perform, or she may cry and not do it or she may do wonderful and love the attention! Is there a ring bearer? Usually it's a little easier if there's another little kid around so they can help each other deal.. how fun for her!!

My twin neice and nephew were 3 when they were in my wedding and did a great job - the photos are amazing and now they are 8 and it's such a nice memory. Go for it!

Hi,
When I was married, we had my niece be the flower girl. She turned 4 the day of our wedding. She did okay, though there had to be one parent at both ends of the aisle to coach her, she was/is a little shy. Also, she loved the petals so much she didnt really want to drop them all over the ground. I got a path of about 16 petals! Still, she was adorable. I think you should consider how formal the event will be, how serious and to the letter the bride is. If they are flexible and laugh with children, then they could be flexible for whatever happens. Otherwise, they will be annoyed, you will have to feel guilty the rest of your life. Ick.

Also, I know the parents of our flower girl and ring bearer did a little practice/role play with them so they would get a better sense of what was going to happen. Oh, and bribery could be a good incentive too!
Good Luck!

Vick

Hi, My daughter was a flower girl last summer when she was 21 months. She did fine in the rehearsal but got a little stage fright during the ceremony. I ended up carrying her down the aisle while she threw rose petals. It was fine. SHe had fun and loves to look at the pictures. Just make sure you or someone she knows is available to escort her if she feels timid.
By the way, finding the flower girl dress was more crazy than i would have ever expected! This was an out of state wedding so that had a bit to do with it, but I was floored by the selection, size variances and the expense. We got what the bride chose and I have paid less for bridesmaids dresses for myself!

Not too young! I have 2 wonderful experiences to share:
My cousin had his neice who was about 2 or 3 at the time as the flower girl. Her mother was at the front of the aisle. She got a little nervous and would not move when it was her time, but once she saw her mother, she went right to her. I think she was the only child in the wedding.

My girls were flower girls when they were 4 and 7. Someone they were comfortable with was at the beginning, and I was at the front. They walked down together and I think the 4 year old did better than her older sister. The ring bearers were a little younger than my girls, and they also had their mother at the front. Personality-wise, these boys are very hard to handle so we were a little worried about how they would do, but they held it together for the "show!"

Preparation and patience! We talked about it for weeks before and did a little practicing at home. If she's at playdates or daycare, maybe she can play/practice before the big day. The rehersal the night before and getting there early for the wedding were a big help, getting the children comfortable with the unfamiliar place. All the big people invovled were great with the kids invovled. Now a couple years later, the girls still think of it as one of the best days!

I had a 3 year old in my wedding. We just practiced alot when it got closer. We made it fun we out a dress up cloths on her and gave her a sm basket(sames as she was gong to use the dy of the wedding) She did fine. Her personality is a big part.
C. & Adeline Temple NH

Hello my name is L. and I am from Gorham.When my son got married his wife had a flower girl in her party that was 3 she did very well.I think she will be fine.

my niece was almost 3 when i got married I thik she'll be fine if one parent is in front of the church and the other in the back that way if she gets scared she has soemone to go to either way
another thing to consider is if she's been to the church and knows a lot of the people who are there-to make her more comfortable and not have stranger anxiety
the worse that can happen is that she doesn't go down the aisle but it will make for a good story(my niece didn't make it down but she didn't know anyone, was in a strange place)
just let your brother and fiance know that it might not work out the way they want and they can't be mad if it doesn't

My daughter was 3 1/2 when she was a flower girl in her godparents wedding and she did fine. I purchased fake flower patels and we practice down the driveway several times before the wedding. Also, her godmother let her look through books and we watched wedding shows so she could see what a wedding and being a flower girl was all about.

Our flower girl was 4 at the time of our wedding and she was scared to death to walk down the isle alone. I remedied this by getting her a stuffed bunny to carry with her. We incorporated "floppy" in to her basket and tied a ribbon around his neck that matched the wedding colors. It not only gave her someone to walk with, but something to play with during the ceremony and she loved it. We have some great pictures of the 2 of them. Our ring bearer was 2 the day before the wedding, and he was happy as pie to strut his stuff down alone, as long as Dad (the best man) was going to wait for him at the other end. Good luck, and remember, no matter how "ready" they are, kids can surprise us at any moment so do not hope for perfection with any child when it comes to your wedding.

Unless she is an unusually docile and compliant child who is charming and not fazed by chaos, my advice would be: DON"T DO IT!!!!!

As a matter of fact, find someone to be there at the wedding and reception who can focus entirely on her, because she will probably be overwhelmed at times and may just need to "go for a walk" or something to get away from all the excitement; plus, if you are staying in a hotel or something, a good babysitter would be able to take her to the room for some "down time"

C.

My niece was almost 3 in our wedding. Her parents were up front, and she walked very proudly halfway down the aisle...then when the organ music shifted and got louder, she ran the rest of the way to her parents. It was adorable:)

My niece was the flower girl at her babysitter's wedding and I think she may have been just shy of 3. If she has someone to walk towards, your mom, an in-law, someone she knows so that there is a friendly face at the end of the aisle, she'll be fine. But just remember that it's their wedding and while you might want her in the wedding party, maybe they don't. It sucks when family feels that way, but we have to remember that we got to have what we wanted at our weddings and now it's their turn.

If you are also in the wedding, my suggestion would be to make sure there is someone at the front of the church she can walk to and who will hold/amuse her for the ceremony. My toddler was fine going down the aisle but had trouble with the ceremony length. If she loves frilly and fancy, she will have a blast!