Dear Minnie,
It's not just the lyrics of the groups you mention that are very distasteful and destructive, it's the beat and the way the music is presented. There is a reason your daughter is "addicted" to music. It is made that way to "hook" children and adolescence so they won't want to do anything else.
I am a musician. I even started a small orchestra in my town. I play all sorts of music, classical, jazz, blues, celtic and I am insistent that my children listen to wholesome music... I thought I was careful, but my son, 18, has a similar addiction to music. Many of the music is from the same groups you mentioned. I didn't realize until he moved out how bad is was. I went through his downloads the other day and was surprised- 1. at the volume of music 2. the poor choices he had made- especially since I have gone over his music before, making him throw out the "bad" and taught him the effects of bad music on him/us spiritually and emotionally.
I know from study that there are, as I mentioned, "hooks" in music. I know the damage it can do. But I must have let go with regard to my son and I wasn't as insistent as I should have been about developing other interests. He is very active, but I still should have just said, "no!" to hours on myspace, facebook and youtube.
I can't encourage you enough to be in her face about the music and don't back down. She is only 12! I wouldn't consider even having my 12 year old have her own radio in her room. My grown children have chosen music that I don't care for, but they have other interests as well and they are more mature, so I hope that the music won't influence them like it does when they are young.
Another very sad note. After my friend's son committed suicide and we looked at his time spent months and years before he made the choice to end his life, the common thread through his experience was his ugly music. We could all see the effects, but we never realized what it would "do to him". Other young friends since have made the same choice to end their lives and often poor music is the common thread. Will all youth do that? No, but it is clear unless they make better use of their time, it brings them lower if we, as parents, are not more vigilant.
Michael Ballam is a music artist that has presentations on music and it's effects, positive and negative. Music can be incredibly soothing and spiritually lift it's listeners. It's just important to know the difference. My family and I were listening to youtube last night and we listened to great music, it's all a matter of choice.
Your perceptions of your concern over your daughter are correct. Even though you are deaf, just read the lyrics, feel the speakers, and watch the effect and then help her make the choices you feel are ok. You are very insightful. She is fortunate to have you as parents. Even if you restrict her, she will be exposed to that sort of music sooner or later, better later! Don't be afraid to be the parent. Our children need our leadership. They don't need us to be their best friends, they need us to be their parents. It's a tough job sometimes and thankless to be sure, but later she will realize your influence and appreciate you very much.
God Bless,
H. B. MOM (mother of many-9)