Too Many Toys..... - Frisco,TX

Have you considered asking gift-givers for a deposit into a savings account or giving a bond or something else of the sort? My brother in law does this, and his daughters are now young adult women and their gifts have come in handy!

I did a lot of re-gifting, and donated lots of toys to Christmas hampers. I let the boys keep the toys they were really excited about. When people asked what the boys would like I would suggest things that weren't toys. Zoo and museum memberships, movie passes and theatre tickets, clothes, books, bedding, towels, magazine subscriptions, flashlights, sleeping bags...There are so many things that kids love to receive that aren't toys. The toys we do keep get opened one at a time. When they were little it was great to pull out a brand new toy to keep them occupied for a while.

We let our kids open and play with ALL of THEIR gifts!

You and your husband sound.....I don't know how to say it? Mean, maybe? Controlling even? What is it you are afraid of? Your child being spoiled? You can not spoil a baby and that is what your 1y/o was. So you did all that controlling of his gifts and it served no purpose.... other than to make you and your husband feel better about yourselves or maybe your childhoods? I am not sure but what you guys are doing is NOT what I would be doing, at all! Talk about making your child suffer b/c of what happened to you and your husband when you were growing up. Sheesh!

It has been a year and he still hasn't been able to open and play with all his 1st b-day presents? What a waste.

And as far as the re-gifting goes...if I was your friend or family member I would think long and hard about spending any of my hard earned $ on your child ever again, if I knew you were going to:

A) Not let him play with what I got him!

OR

B) Re-gift it and pass it on to someone else and pass it off as something you spent your hard earned $ on!

If you and your husband are worried about the 'mess' all the toys make and your child isn't even 2y/o yet...I feel sorry for your kid!

We have never rationed gifts that have been given to our children. I don't see the reasoning for it or your husbands reasoning for telling you that you can't open one. You are an adult and it's your child too. If my kids get a gift that we don't want them to have or they already have we try not to let them open it and will take it back to the store and get something for them they need. Or regift.

Yeah....not getting your husbands approach at all.

When toys are no longer used--DONATE them. Or take to a resale shop.

Geez. Sorry, but your husband sounds like a buzzkill! Lol

I say let your child play with his toys.

They were gifts given w/love.

They are your child's, not your husbands.

I'm sure your husband has an over-abundance of something (tech toys,
shoes, gym equipment, jeans etc.). We all have "something" we should
go through, donate, get rid of etc. There are very few minimalists in this
world.

Roate the toys out. When your child is done playing w/something, donate
or sell it.

When your child has another birthday, rotate out the outdated, no longer
played with toys for the newer ones. Keep her favorites.

Keep toys reigned in as much as possible in bins & toy boxes. Limit most of the toys to stay in a playroom, bedroom or family room.

A house that looks lived in, is a sign of happiness, aliveness, togetherness etc. Go for it!

I have never, ever heard of this. People spend their time and money buying and wrapping a gift fir your child and you keep it from the child? And even worse, give it to someone else BEFORE the chid can even decide if they like it? Huh? If your husband feels strongly against gifts, tell people no gifts. Many people I know do this. What a weird, controlling way to celebrate the life of your baby. Family can buy zoo passes etc and just tell friends please no gifts or a book. It seems kind of creepy and dishonest not to tell people you don't even give the gifts to the baby. At least be honest, and tell people any toys in the Childs name are donated to the hospital etc.

At that age we opened everything and I pulled "re-gift" (meaning donate) things out slyly and hid before anyone saw them...and then purged others occasionally when no one was looking. We have WAY TOO MANY TOYS simply because I can't purge them faster than they come in (enough for three kids every holiday and birthday), and every year I say I'm going to write everyone to ask not to send anything....but I'm too overwhelmed....I'm still staring at a huge pile to get rid of before Christmas...:(.where does it COME FROM??! I bought none of it....
Anyway, your daughter is not all that aware at two. She may be aware for a few seconds at opening, but if she never sees a toy again after that she won't notice. You can still handle extra gifts as you wish with no trauma to her :) And hubby needs to chill (mine's the same way-he never helps donate or purge, but he SURE CAN COMPLAIN about any toys he sees...). They're just toys. They can be given away in the blink of an eye.

I don't re gift toys because I would feel bad doing that. Someone went out and took the time to pick out a toy for your child, you should let your child open and play with it. What I do is rotate the toys, I'll put a bunch of toys in a big laundry basket and keep it in the basement. It works great and keeps the house and child from getting too overwhelmed with toys. You can donate the toys they've outgrown as well. I also don't agree with your husband that once a month is too often. I do not think you'll be creating a sense of entitlement...that to me would come from the child getting everything they demand. I think you and your husband should just relax about it and let the baby play with the toys others gave him.

Entitlement isn't about how many birthday gift you get, it is about your attitude. Teach your child about being grateful and taking care of the things he does have and he will be just fine. My children get lots from family and friends on holidays and birthdays and they get to enjoy each and every gift and each gift giver gets to enjoy seeing that gift being enjoyed. Every few months we round up toys that aren't played with and donate them or resale them. I get my kids to help with this. These toys were gifts to them, not me. I respect their right to decide what they want to part with. Of course, when they were too young to decide, I did it for them. Let your son enjoy everything at first(you only get to be a kid once)and then put the toys on rotation so you can bring out new ones every few weeks and he isn't overwhelmed by so much. I agree with the post about your husband having some issues he hasn't dealt with. Good luck.

wow...sorry but your husband sounds controlling and in need of some counseling. that screams unfinished business to me.

at almost 2, your child will not miss old toys that are given away. i'm wondering what the hang up is.

if you both agree he has too many toys, why aren't you donating them? and also, why have another party? he doesn't "expect" a party - and yes while he is more aware than a 1 year old, he won't miss it if you don't do it. at 2 the birthday is what YOU make of it.

This won't help you but.... The gifts get even more plentiful once the kids start having friend birthday party's.
We always have a family birthday party celebration but what I started to do was host a Valentine's party, Christmas Party, end of school Year party, hot tub party (tea party when my girls were young) etc. This way my kids each have several friend parties a year but they are not getting gifts that they didn't need and I didn't want:).

Here's what we do:

For holidays/birthdays, when we KNOW Kiddo's going to get a shower of toys, we are careful not to go overboard ourselves. For example, this Christmas, Kiddo (5) will get a nice something from Santa and one nice something from us. The rest from grandparents, godparents, aunties and cousins... it becomes a lot.

When he was very little, he was happy to open one toy at a time, because he was usually exploring all aspects of it--the packaging especially. So sometimes, somethings would be held back just to not overwhelm kids. (Have you ever noticed kids get overwhelmed with opening presents sometimes? I think it's really more than they can 'take in' when they are little.)

I do the "picking through toys" sometime after the birthday or Christmas time. I watch what my son is playing with most, and then put the other things (that usually get dragged out but NOT played with) into a storage area in the basement and wait to rotate those out when my son gets bored with the usual fare. (I should add that because I sometimes teach preschool, I have a LOAD of stuff waiting in storage. It's a bit like a toy store, but there's only so much he's interested in playing with.)

Then, when Kiddo is ready, he can 'trade out' things, toy for toy. So we don't have too much stuff in his room. Toys that are obviously outgrown we do pass along (or store away for my work).

For what it's worth, I am the one who has a problem with 'too much' for Kiddo-- my husband would buy Kiddo everything. And do encourage your little one to help put toys away in the playroom midway through the day and when Daddy comes home. (I know, easier said than done when they are in the 'dumping out' stage common to toddlers). Setting up good habits now and making sure the toys all have their own place will help things feel more settled for your husband, too.

My husband and I are on complete opposite sides to how we grew up. My mother never had any toys as a kid. So when I was sick as a child (I almost didn't survive.), she went a wee bit overboard and gave me far too many toys for any one kid to have. My husband on the other hand had a normal amount of toys until he was about 2 and would take them to the park by himself (an unbelievable issue in my opinion!) and leave them there. His father decided that he didn't deserve to have so many toys after that. Personally, I think that someone needed to be with him and to help him remember to get his toys, but unfortunately that didn't happen. My husband only had about five matchbox cars, a box of legos,some books, and some crayons after that. Our own childhood can definitely contribute to how we feel about our kids toys, but the first starting point is realizing that the toys are indeed our kids property and not ours. You need to come up with boundaries on how to handle the toys after you acknowlegde who actually is the owner. Your son's toys belong to him.

My husband and I talked about setting a limit on how many toys we will give him for birthdays and Christmas. We had to set a limit on my mother with toys that she plans to give him, and she must clear any gifts with us first. His parents always give us money to get something for him from them, or ask us or our son and then clear it with us before giving him an actual gift. As for parties with other kids, we decided that when our son starts having parties with his friends that we will do some sort of charity gift instead of presents, or keep the presents under a small amount of money which would only buy something little like a candybar for example.

I say let your son have his presents. Let him enjoy playing with his toys. If there is something you or your husband object to letting him have, take it away beforehand if possible. If your son stops playing with something, then you can donate it or throw it out. We do regift any duplicates we receive, or donate them.

As for keeping the clutter to a minimal. As soon as my son was able to play with toys, we taught him to clean up. At first that invovled us always being with him and letting him drop the toys into his toybox. Later we divided types of toys, or grouped his toys together how he played with them, in clear plastic bins. He was allowed one bin at a time to play with. Part of playing is cleaning up. When he finished with one bin of toys, he had to clean up before getting another one out. As my son got older and more creative with play, we allowed him to take toys from various bins, but to only cover 1/3- 1/2 of the floor depending on the type of toy at one playtime. And he must leave a pathway big enough for mom and dad to walk through easily leaving the doorways uncluttered. Again, if he changed what he was playing, clean-up was part of play.

My son is 5. He enjoys playing all day. There are plenty of toys out at any given time, but when he finishes he always cleans up. I don't have to tell him to clean up in between either. The only time he occationally needs to be encouraged to clean is at that last playtime during the day. We use a timer, a CD, an event (until lunch, until bath, etc.) and sometimes the clock now to limit playtimes throughout the day. I won't lie and tell you it was easy to teach him this. It took dedication and commitment while he was little, but oh the rewards it has reaped. Imagine never having to tell your son to clean up, imagine always being able to walk through your house without tripping on toys, and it is a very short time in the long run to spend a couple years contantly enforcing the clean up rule. If you are limited on space, you can always rotate the toys. Please let your kid have his things.

I let my kids play with all of their toys. They are theirs-not mine. I can understand rotating toys but not your method-sorry. I would never even think of regifting either.That is totally chintzy if you ask me. I would only do it if it was a duplicate.

I strongly suggest to people that they buy books or contribute to the college fund.

we don't rotate toys. My kids open everything that is given to them, and when I see toys not being played with, I donate them.

Personally, if I gave someone a gift and it got stuck in a closet for over a year I would be upset as the gift giver. At this age sometimes it's more about the giver than the child!
That said, our children open all their gifts. Then I put them away - sometimes it's just in the playroom - sometimes it's in a closet for later. Mostly though I let them play with them. Really I don't think at 1 or 2 they'll be spoiled.
You can ask relatives to donate to a college fund... but I know my in-laws like to give gifts that the kids play with and watch them open them. It took me a while to get used to all the junk they bought but I realize this is important to them and it's their only grandchildren... and as soon as anything gets damagedI don't feel bad tossing it!

WOW if you didn't want people to bring gifts you could have said just that in the invitation! Re-gifting is the most rude thing I've heard in a long time. Just ask for money and spend it then! If I bought my nephew/grandson/friend a present I'd want to see him open it and play with it and enjoy it or why spend my hard earned money. ANYway. For this party why not ask for clothes if he needs them or a few specific toys you want him to have in the invitation? Otherwise return gifts received for things he NEEDS? Don't waste people's money. ugh
But you asked what other families do. They make a list of needs and wants and give them out! If they get things they can't or won't use they make an exchange for something useful for the birthday child. It's THEIR gift!

I think the gifts should be played with . . . that's not to say that there has to be an overabundance of toys around. If saving the toys will work for you, then you can get rid of an old toy before the new one comes out. Before a birthday or Christmas, I would get rid of some toys right before the gifts come in, so you can open all of them and play with them soon after receiving. I actually saw a really great idea on pinterest (the link did not work to give credit to the original source) where every Christmas you get a special sack (like Santa uses) and fill it up with toys that Santa can bring back to his workshop and make like new gain for other kids next Christmas. This is a great tradition to start and also to teach your son about giving to others.