My husband and I never do anything with our almost 11-month-old except hang out at home. We'll go to the market or sometimes to our friends' houses but more often than not, we're at home. He's in daycare almost the entire day during the weekdays so we only see him for about an hour or two before his bedtime so you'd think on the weekends, we'd go crazy and do all these fun things with him but we're both always so tired and my husband really dislikes getting the diaper bag ready and all the stuff we have to lug if we go OUT out (like to a zoo or something). We once talked about taking him to an aquarium and were both excited about that but then the baby had to nap and then we napped and then we were tired and the day got away from us yet again. My coworkers were asking me what I do with my son and I couldn't tell them anything -- they always seem to be taking their kids to coves or the beach or something (we're in CA) and I really feel like something is wrong with my husband and me!! Do any of you have this problem?? I feel so guilty and yet it seems to require so much planning to head out ... any suggestions that might help? Thanks!
hello
this is what i do have everything ready the night before like diapers,wipes,hand sanitizer,change of clothes,snacks and that day just get up and dress and you ready to go try not to worry to much about naps that because if the kid need a nap he is going to take it at the stroller.
GO OUT AND HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!
I kept a bag in the car that was stocked with diapers, wipes, a jacket, a change of clothes and some snacks (like cherios), there was also an umbrella stroller in the trunk. This way we could go out on a moments notice.
honey, you have one child not 30. diaper bag should always be packed. what do you need? diapers, wet wipes, two bottles, and a couple of small toys to entertain him. he is too young for the zoo and aquarium. he'd love to be outside probably. beach sounds great. you guys will miss you on so much if you keep up this attitude. with or without kids, everyone is exhausted on weekends, but perk up and go out. you don't need to spend a fortune. you don't have to organize this elaborate outing. your son will enjoy anything. and i mean anything. we have twins, and we always did stuff on weekends. we still do. house may be in chaos, but weekend come around, we're out. kids love parks, they love beaches, they love bookstores, and libraries.
i still carry a 'diaper' backpack. i still have little things for them, snacks, bottles of water, and leapsters with me. mine are almost 6. the backpack is always packed. even on a weekday when kids are in school.
don't make a huge deal out of this, get some fresh air, you and your hubby, you'll see how much you will enjoy being out.
oh and in your case, plan outings around his naptime. when he is up the morning, feed him, you guys should be ready by then, as soon as he's done eating, change him and get out. stay 1-2 hrs, come home, get him down for the nap. nap too if you need it.
good luck
Well. I have two things to say :) First, you are not depriving your son of anything at this point to just stay home and hang out. He probably likes that best anyway! At his age, he really just needs Mom and Dad and the best you can do is spend quality time with him.
My husband works full time (50-60 hours a week sometimes) and we rarely do anything on the weekend. I stay home so I have the luxury to take the kids places during the week, but my husband says he'd rather spend time at home interacting with the kids rather than deal with crowds out and about doing stuff. You get less quality time when you are out because you are out. Less interaction with the kids, since they are engaged with other stuff.
So, I'd say focus on what you are doing. When he's older, he'll get more out of outings (and it will be easier) and you can do them then.
If you really feel like you need to get out, make a list of your top places you'd like to go, and then put them on the calendar. Do one each month. Once they are on your calendar, it will be easier to make it happen. Pack the bag the night before (diapers, wipes, snacks, change of clothes) and head out as soon as you are up and dressed in the morning. That way you are done by lunch and can come home for nap. That's how I plan when I take the kids out. Also, try to start simple. Go to the local farmers market (pick up some food while your out - that way you are multi tasking!), go to a local park or beach for a picnic (or snack-nic). That way it isn't as overwelming as someplace like the Aquarium or Zoo or something.
You are doing great. Don't feel guilty.
J.
Hi S.S.
I remember feeling like we needed to be planning outings and events, etc. Guess what? The plans rarely worked out. What DID work out were if we took advantage of the random times that all planets seemed to align (like rested parents, early nap already done, etc) and just went somewhere on the spur of the moment.
It doesn't need to be any big, huge thing, so don't make it O.! Just hit the park for an hour, or stop into a gallery, kid's puppet show, whatever. The shorter the outing the bigger the success. Let's face it paying a lot of $$ for a day at the zoo with an 11 month old is just a poor use of funds...he'll be tired and disinterested in 2 hours tops. Just grab the moment & go find something when the conditions are right! Have fun!
Kids don't care if you go OUT to do something. They just want to spend time with you. That can be reading a book, backyard fun, arts and crafts or just sitting on the floor and playing. All my children are older now and we have 4 so we have always been on a tight budget. I remember being younger and other parents we went here we went there...and I always would feel guilty like my kids where missing out. Don't let other people dictate how you spend time with you child. They will laugh and smile and play much more at home in a relaxed environment than if you guys stress yourselves out trying to entertain with a bunch of activities. I personally feel society tries to buy their kids instead of getting to know their kids. Hope this helps!
Hello. It is a pain to get out the door, but once you get out, i am sure you will all have fun. It really makes your days much more enjoyable, even if it's just a short trip to the park. You son may be to small to really enjoy the bigger trips like an aquarium, but will love the parks and toddler play areas!
Getting out of the house is so fun if you're up to it.
I live where the weather is really crappy a lot of the time and when my kids were little, we just had fun inside.
There is something really cool about just hanging in your jammies and not really going anywhere and just chilling at home.
Your son goes to daycare, he go go goes all week long. Nothing wrong with just taking a day off.
If you want to shoot for an outing, just pack the day before, get up, feed your baby, get in the car and go. Things don't have to be perfect. Your baby might sleep along the way. Just putting your child in a stroller and going for a walk is a wonderful outing.
I raised two kids by myself and it's hard sometimes finding things to do. But, we also enjoyed just being home and watching a movie or reading or snuggling. I'd build a fire and get it up to about 90 in the house and we'd pretend it was summer while it was pouring rain outside.
We'd run around in our summer clothes and have a picnic inside.
Being home isn't a bad thing at all.
As far as going out, just go for it. Put your hair in a ponytail, get the baby ready and go. Even if it's 3 blocks away.
Don't feel guilty.
I think you'd all feel more energized if you did something at least for a few hours on the weekend. You don't have to do anything spectacular like the aquarium. Just go for a walk, or to a local park. The "fun" things like the aquarium and the zoo will come when he's a little older. I bet he'd LOVE to go and lay around on the beach with you for the afternoon.
I think as first time parents we all tend to overpack the diaper bag. I'm still guilty of it. My diaper bag weighs more than my baby, I think! LOL! All you really need is a few diapers, wipes a bottle or two and some snacks. If we're just running out for a few hours, I'll just throw some stuff in a small diaper bag or even my purse. Now, if we're going to be gone for the day, I pack a small suitcase ;) (j/k..i'm not quite that bad!)
Just start small. Hit the park for an hour. See how that goes. If it goes well, then stay a little longer, get some ice cream while you're out. I think you'll be amazed at how smooth it goes and how much happier you all are.
Ok, I tend to agree that at this age your child does not care whether you are spending your time indoors or out, but, as someone who is cooped up in the house for at least 25% of the year due to Chicago winters, I cannot tell you how happy I am when I get a chance to get outside. Here in the Midwest we tend to suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, so as soon as it gets up into the upper 40s and the snow has melted at the playground, you'll see everyone emerge from their houses to take their kids to the park. It is very refreshing as a parent (for me at least) to get going, and is comparatively much easier when you don't have to bundle the kids up.
In the spring and summer I just keep my stroller open and ready to go in the garage. I keep a few diapers, wipes, toys, sun hat, blanket and snacks in the stroller, and then all we need to do to get out of the house is grab a bottle or two and a sippy cup for my older son. Being in the house too much makes me a cranky mama, so I get out. If it doesn't bother you to be home, don't stress out about it.
We mostly stayed home when our son was that age. When he was 3, we spent every weekend the whole summer doing a different county fair, zoos, museums, fire house open houses. In the fall it was corn mazes and farm tours. You'll get your energy back eventually, and then you can be as busy as you want. Kids will nap in their strollers (or wagons) or while you are driving.
At this age all you need to do is go outside for a little while. Let him feel and play in grass or take him to a little park or playground and let him just get around and explore. Take walks with him in his stroller so you can stretch your legs and let him look around. We live up here in rainy Washington, so those options aren't always open for us, but you live in my homestate and I LOVE Cali weather! My husband's schedule and my schedule conflict so we can avoid daycare, but we fall into our slumps too. I think most working parents use the weekends as their time of rest/recovery from the week. You don't always have to go somewhere. All you need to do is love him and talk to him and play with him. He learns more about life from his parents than in anything else.
I'd recommend keeping the diaper bag always stocked with the exception of bottles/sippy cup and snacks. Otherwise, ours is always full of the things we think we may need.
We're both working parents, too, and cherish the time we get with them. He's getting to an age where they're really curious and SO much fun.
We keep a bag in the car with toys that we can take into restaurants, to the park, etc. to keep both of our kids entertained - age appropriate, of course, and a change of clothes in the trunk just in case.
Even though we're tired, too, and spend our weekend running around doing errands, we will stop at a park, the library, etc. and just let them run. At that age, you really need to supervise.
We went to DC over Christmas to see my family. We thought our 3.5 year old would love the Smithsonians as he's been watching the Night at the Museum movies. He could have cared less.
So, as long as you're interacting with him at this point in time, it really doesn't matter where you take him. He'll probably be most interested in the least important things.
Good luck!
Re pack the diaper bag the night before or when you get back so it will be ready to go at the drop of a hat. If you child needs a nap they will get it on the way there or in the stroller or in a back pack or front pack.
This time out at this stage is not for your baby, but for you and your husband. Get out and enjoy. Go to a park with a quilt and lay down and enjoy the weather. Stop by a grocery store and buy a box of chicken. Have a picnic. There are lots of things to do in the Inland Empire. When your child is running, then the time will be for him. At 11 months he's probably not even walking. Have another child. Then both your children can play together while you are on your picnics.
I hope you have a wonderful time.
I know what you are talking about:) It is sometimes hard to "plan" things around a baby because it seems like when you do plan something, the baby is tired, crabby, or I don't feel like it or I'm just plain old busy . Sometimes, I don't feel like going out in public either. As your child gets older, the less baggage you will have to lug around. Most children do not remember things at 11 months old either--so relax, you have time here. I get stir crazy sitting at home sometimes, so what works for me is to do something spontaneous. I always do things around the neighborhood like go to the park, Target, library, or we go for a walk. It doesn't have to be a long trip either. I always have my diaper backpack packed and handy by the coats and shoes. With an eleven month old, if I were you I would get a little swim pool and play with your baby in the pool or even buy one of those crab sandboxes. Young babies love the water and sand. Buy some toys, have a barb-b-q or have a little picnic at home. What also works is getting one of those push around wagons and taking baby on a stroll or getting a riding toy for baby to ride in the yard.
M
If you get out of the house, especially if you need it, great. If not, don't worry about it. Yes, there are experiences that they can get, but think of the zoo. I see kids put in strollers and walked around. They are sometimes ignored in the strollers while the older kids are looking around, they can rarely see anything from so low, etc. Do you think they are getting better experiences that your son with his true interactions? (I'm not saying that you would do that to your son at the zoo, just what I have seen there.) We did some stuff with our son at that age, and he really couldn't have cared less, it was more for us. As he gets older, he will appreciate it more.
And I agree, the spur of the moment are actually the best outings, even just going to the park.
There is not one right answer. Some people really need weekends to unwind and be cozy at home. Some need variety and the kinds of stimulation they don't get during the week. Both are okay. Some people need to do both, depending on circumstances. Your son won't really need outside stimulation for a few months yet, and then a variety of experiences will be good for his overall development – especially exposure to nature, sky, weather, birdsong, trees and grass. There is something in us all that responds positively to nature.
But since you have the sense that laziness is what keeps you home, it sounds like you might actually be invigorated by getting out once in awhile. If you really want to make it happen, plan ahead and take care of as much preparation as you can. That will make it a whole lot easier to follow those whims when they occur. Your son doesn't have to be awake to ride in a stroller or car seat.
I'm so with you on this! My kids are even a little older and we're still guilty of it. We've been trying to take the kids out on some kind of adventure (even if it's just to Lowe's to buy flowers and mulch) every couple of weeks, but then we like to take some time off to just hang too. I guess what I would say is that your son is only 11 months old and doesn't know the difference, so don't feel too bad about it. As long as you're spending quality time with him while you're hanging at home (and by this I mean you're not just letting him do his thing while and you're not interacting with him), then don't worry about it! He won't remember what he did at this age, so going to the zoo is more for you guys and a chance for him to be outside anyway. You could take a walk around the neighborhood and accomplish the same thing in his mind.
By the way, I would never take my 11 month old to the beach. They would just be eating sand the whole time and probably be miserable. Besides, that much sun really isn't good for them. If you and hubby feel like going out to a restaurant or to some shops to walk around, then great, but if you just want to hang out at home, there is nothing wrong with that. You could take him to a park or something, but chances are he won't be able to do much there yet except swing in a baby swing (which could be fun for little bit).
I think many new parents feel this way. However, exposing your child (even at this young age) to different things helps him learn and grow. Our babies LOVED the aquarium. Introducing them to new things at young ages helps foster a love of learning in them, or a love of animals (if you go to the zoo), etc. It does take a lot of energy, but try to make it happen. My husband always has big ideas of things to do & although initially it seems like it's too much work, I always have a great time as do the kids, and we are so happy that we all had the experience together. Go out & have fun! There is a whole world out there. Have a couple cups of coffee & have fun with them!
I know how u feel... Why dont u try to arrange a play date with ur friends if they kids of same age...once a month is good. U and baby both would have fun. U can hang out with ur friends & ur kids can have fun too. And yeah, spending time together is most important. If u can just sit on the floor and play , ur kid will love it...
