Too Attached?? - Conroe,TX

From what I understand. 3 is an age when small children "parellel" play. (sp?) Meaning, they like to play alongside others, but not WITH others. That is, at least, what MY 3 year old does. Perhaps pushing her is what irritates her. I know that when I try to push my DD to play with her cousins, she gets a little grumpy...she just likes to do, what she likes to do!!!! I have no problem with that. Her cousins are a year older...they were like that...hmmm?...a year ago?
They all grow out of it!!!
Good Luck!!
M:)

First off, I think Linda was a little harsh. Children who play well with others are not "socially-needy unsatisfied brats"-- they are happy and well-adjusted. It takes time and patience to teach them social skills, and it needs to be age-appropriate. She's just coming up on the age where she will want to play with others. If you play a game or do a project with all the kids, you can model the behavior you want . You take turns, you congratulate the winner of the games, you show that losing is OK, you share colors or paints, you encourage others to do their best, the list goes on. These are all things that don't come naturally ---they are taught. You don't "put in your order" for a kind and respectful child, you raise one by example.

Let her do what she wants. She'll be fine. She's only 3.

It could be a phase, or maybe another child said or did something to hurt her feelings, give it time, but don't push it, the more you do the more standoffish she may become. J.

Try playing a matching game with other children and her. My kids were/are rather attached to me too. Keep encouraging her to play with other kids too. What is she playing/imagining that other children are not involved? MY 3 yr is sometimes like this too. I have also pulled out water color paints for everyone to sit paint together to get at the same place at the same time. Keep trying and good luck.

I have a very shy daughter. She plays well with one friend (who is a few years older) that she has seen A LOT. She plays well with 2 of her cousins that she is very close to. At all other playdates, she can be rude and not want to play with other kids. She gets very anxious in social situations. She does not like performing and does not like a lot of attention on her. If she's in gymnastics and people are watching and they clap for her, she gets very overwhelmed and can't deal with it. She is adopted from China and came home at 10 months.
We adopted again, and our son came home at 19 months. IMMEDIATELY we saw different social behaviors. Our daughter was (as a baby) swatting at people and not wanting to be close to others when we first brought her home. Our son waves and smiles at everyone all the time. Because they were so young when they were adopted, we have realized that this must be their temperament, most likely inborn. I can't change it.

So, I explain to people before they meet my daughter that she's shy (then they usually understand), and we privately work with her on how to behave around others. We tell her that we understand that she is uncomfortable, but that she does have to learn enough social skills to be polite in a social setting. At age 5, she is getting better with other kids, but playdates need to last more than 2 hours to give her time to warm up and have a good time. Also, when she's in the heat, all bets are off. She is very sensitive to the heat and cannot take heat and people at the same time.

I, too, was painfully shy as a child, but the rudeness is new to me. I would usually freeze when people talked to me. It was the weirdest thing--you know those dreams where you want to run away from the tiger and you can't make your legs move? I knew the answers to the questions the adults asked me and I couldn't make the words come out.
My daughter is not just silent and scared. She is outwardly rude when she gets uncomfortable, so I can't say "she's shy" and end it. We do need to work on it.

We know we can't change our daughter, but we do everything possible to try to get her to adapt to social situations enough to be a functioning adult. She is true introvert, and we do believe that is her inborn temperament. She likes to be only with her few very close friends or by herself. (Or with parents and grandparents, but grandparent comfort came with time.) Preschool friends and teachers, that she saw every day, soon became comfortable.

We have to work WITH her--pushing too hard only backfires.

If your daughter has not always been like this, then it could be a phase, and hopefully she'll pass it in time. My first thought was not an overattachment to you, but a introverted temperament. Introverts know people close to them well, and they feel comfortable with them.
Good luck!

Help you what? Change her from a content, self-fulfilled little happy girl into a socially-needy unsatisfied brat?

Why?

If you want your nieces to sleep over, they're your company, not your kid's. If you want her to play near kids, take her near kids. If you want her to be another kind of person, you have waited too long to put in your order.

Updated

Help you what? Change her from a content, self-fulfilled little happy girl into a socially-needy unsatisfied brat?

Why?

If you want your nieces to sleep over, they're your company, not your kid's. If you want her to play near kids, take her near kids. If you want her to be another kind of person, you have waited too long to put in your order.

3 year olds do not engage in cooperative play yet. They are still in parallel play mode (where they play side by side). At her age, I don't think you need to worry about this.

Enjoy the time that she wants to play with you! She is not too attached to you, she is still at an age where you are number one in her eyes. Believe me in another year or so (or less) kids her age will take center stage and that is ok too. Just wait until she drops you like a cold cucumber on a paper plate for some kids her age! If you are like me your mouth will almost drop to the floor and you may even feel like whaaaaaaaaat? How did this happen? Why doesn't my baby want to play with me?!!! Of course, that feeling only lasts momentarily as you realize that she is growing up as a smile envelops across your face. Bittersweet, I tell ya.

You can come up with activities that involve all of the kids and she may be more willing to get up and join the group of kids. When I am watching other kids and the kids are not playing well together (bickering, fighting over toys etc) I briefly step in with a game. One favorite is hiding different things in boxes and then letting the kids find them. They all love it and it seems after a round of hiding they are all back to playing together again or side by side.

How often are these playdates? She may not need as much interaction as you think she needs and this might be her way of telling you this.

She sounds like a normal 3 year old too me!

Good Luck to you and your daughter.

I would not say she is too attached...She is three years old and an only child so she is not fond of sharing anything....Play with other children would require this. Another thing may be she does not find other children and their play interesting. Because she is an only child and spends her time with you and enjoys playing with you her level of play and interest may be more mature. When she is mean, is it that she is irritated by them or has no patience because she is more mature. My daughter is 15 yrs old and did not get a little brother until she was 12yrs old. The answer for her was team activities such as cheerleading, and volleyball. The team dynamics helped her become a kid. My three year old son on the other hand loves other kids and wants to play with them all the time. However, when he talks to his peers he is mean. He says things like his teenage sister or his parents, which shows he is annoyed by them.

It may be a stage, or it may be she is content to play by herself. My daughter is 6 and has always liked being with other children, begs for playdates every day, but is very socially outgoing. In her kinder class, however, there were several girls who were more quiet, introverted and enjoyed quiet play. I really think it depends on the personality they were born with if kids are more introverted or extroverted. However, she is only 3, and may not be into cooperative play yet. I noticed more of this behavior in the 4 and 5 year olds at preschool, no matter what kind of personality they have. Don't worry and don't force it at this age, but continue to provide a variety of experiences for her.