Toilet Training Guidance

I had a friend who's 4 yr old son did that. At 4 he still refused to go except in a diaper. Don't make it into a power struggle. I would suggest offering a reward for going poop in the potty. Don't punish if she doesn't do it, but if she DOES, then let her choose from a bag of treats. I used a ziploc baggie filled with colorful individually wrapped lifesavers for my son... it worked great.. there were so many colors it was very enticing and it was in his control to choose. They are only like 4 calories each, or something, so even if he got 4 a day it was no big deal (junk food wise)... gradually.. after going on the potty became habit, he forgot all about the candies....
If lifesavers aren't her thing, try something else... get a bag of M&M's and let her pick 2 each time she does it. Or whatever treat you decide... I would just try to make them colorful so she gets to "choose" something.. not just get "one more of same old same old"... have fun!

Hi L. - I have 3 children (very close together)and all 3 were in diapers at the same time! With my middle daughter she had issues with pooping too. So I played the psych card - some children are scared because they feel like they are loosing a part of their body and that feels wrong to them. So heres what I did.

I made up a story of my own - I asked my daughter if she liked parties? Of course she said yes! So I told her that poopies like to have parties too! Where? In the poopies palace of course. Where is that? Well it is in a sppecial place that big people can not fit in to a long way from our house. But there was a party going on right now and they are all waiting to welcome a new poopie friend and they want to dance and sing and have fun. So it is not fair for her to keep poopie all to her self he wants to go to be with his friends. So she sat and thought about it and when she finally went she waved and said goodbye as she flushed.

Now she always seemed to have a mild type of constipation for a while but the story worked and she is a wonderful, happy, 9 year old honor student with a wonderful imagination!!

Just know that you are not alone in your concerns

M. F

Hi L.! Take heart that she won't go to kindergarten in diapers! The pooping is a major hurdle for the little ones and every child is different. Accidents and some resistance is inevitable and even perhaps a bit of defiance at this age so patience and encouragement are far better solutions than corporal punishment in my humble opinion. Here's what we have tried recently with my son and it seems to be working-bare bottom. When we are home he goes bare bottom. He's had 2 partial poo accidents on the floor but stops, let's me know and goes to finish in the potty. He's much more aware of his body being bare and he's getting it pretty quick. We make a huge deal when he finishes in the potty and he's very proud of himself. Good luck!

My 5th child did that. It will come. It's natural. No potty training is needed. I've never trained any of my 5 kids. That's my advice: Know that toileting is natural and normal and needs no help. Why put yourself or the child through all that unnecessarily?

my son is almost 3 1/2 (it takes boys longer it seems since my girls were 2 1/2 when fully potty trained)

it has been my experience that the #2 pottying takes longer.
my son was pretty good at pee-pee -- the poop took a month or two longer (my dad's theory -- children don't really connect the sensation of having to poop with pottying because pee-pee has a different feeling to it). (fyi dad's old & losing his functions --ha ha)

we had a lot of "viewing" of my husband & my 5 yr. old -- kinda like a lab viewing time.......and finally -- finally he gets it & hasn't had an accident in a week or two. By the way, going negative & additional pressure -- just makes it worse -- then they hid either themselves or the aftermath
(ugh).

kudos for your 2 yr old!

Also, we used a tiny bit of candy to "encourage" & make it more of a celebration. You don't have to use candy all the time -- just in the beginning & lots & lots of praise -- really your excitement is sweetness to their ears & they'll want more of it. His sisters rec'd the candy too (just one sweettart). So they encouraged as well. Then they forget about the candy eventually; pottying just because something a human being does.

we have a song taken from a kid's Big blue bear show "potty all the time potty all the time -- we want to potty all the time -- it's fun" (sung to party all the time -- disco song)

p.s oh, & we did read a few books to him, as well. I think the "viewings" helped the most, though -- and as my husband always says, "the brain synapse just finally connected -- the TIME had come."

I have three kids of my own...two boys, one girl. My oldest son and daughter were no problem. They were trained before 15 months. I used two methods all the time. Have you tried taking your daughter to the restroom every time that you go? This way she starts to grasp the concept of going. This might help, because little girls want to do the things that mommy does, so she might start going to the toilet using this method. You may even want to consider taking her to the restroom every 30 to 45 minutes...that's what I do with my son, and he's a year old. He's got the hang of going to the toilet using this method. (This is also the method that I used for my older two kids) THE KEY TO POTTY TRAINING IS CONSISTENCY!!!! WHATEVER METHOD YOU CHOOSE, YOU HAVE TO STICK WITH IT!!!! GOOD LUCK :)

I have the exact same problem with my daughter who is 3. She's been potty trained fine with peepee for about 6 months, but wants no part of pooping in the potty - has only done it maybe 5 times or so. We tried special secret prizes, put them in a sealed envelope with her name on it and hung it over the potty so that the curiosity would hopefully get to her and if she would go she could have it. Nope. Tried bribing her with everything we can think of. The pediatrician told me his daughter was this way until she was 4. The important thing is to not make a big deal about it either way. "maybe next time you can make it to the potty".....this is what I'm told anyways. I wish you luck! It's a tough one!!!

L.,
My advice, be patient. Don't rush it. It will happen when she is ready. Too many parents put pressure on their children and on themselves because "others" say condemning things like, "oh, is she still in diapers? Mine were trained at 3 months!" (exaggerated, of course) But you get the idea. The only reason we think our kids should be trained so early is because of what others may think or say. Why don't we all take a deep breath, let it out, and say, "It's ok to relax!" Your daughter will not be hurting if she waits another year to poop in the toilet or even a bit longer. If you ask a Pediatrician, he will tell you that anywhere between 3-4 years old is fine. Besides that, unless a child suddenly is wanting to potty, chances are we are the ones who are trained, not her. We run them to the potty every 30 minutes or so and sit them down so that they can do their thing, but that doesn't train them, it trains us. I have 4 beauties and each of them began using the big potty at different ages. #1 at age 2 (on his own), #2 at age 3.5 (on her own), and #3 at age 3 (on her own). #4 is 11m old, so we will see when he is ready. The thing to remember is Relax! Don't sweat the small stuff. You will only frustrate yourself, your daughter, and everyone else who is around. Potty training is really potty using when ready. This does not mean that your daughter is slow or will not be as advanced as another child, it just means that if you are patient with her, she will be right where she needs to be.
Mother of 4

We did several potty videos that we checked out from the library. Good luck!

Rewarding is the best. Not punishing. two years old isn't the cutoff date for pooping in a toilet. Each child is different. Put up a chart on the wall and every time she goes poop in the toilet, she gets a star. at the end of the week, have a picture up at the end of the board on the right of what she gets as a treat for pooping all week. Picture of the park swing, picture of a movie, picture of a popcicle, picture of the bike for a bicycle ride together. and act real excited, I mean realllllly excited when she does need to go poop in the toilet. They love to get a reaction!!! Keep me posted. Oh, and if she poops in her diaper, leave it in a little longer than usual so it's a little uncomfortable for her where she doesn't like it and knows mommy isn't coming to her rescue right away.
T.

We used "The Bear in the Big Blue House" potty movie. It talks about going poo and has cute songs. It's not nearly as lame as other stuff...I enjoyed it too. The other thing we did was buy a doll that pees and has a potty. They run 10.00 to 25.00, don't pay more for the expensive one cause you will only use it for a short time probalby. We did two things. We taught the kids how to train the doll to poo and pee in the potty. Once we had that then I was stuck on how to show them the doll would poo. Don't laugh, but while the doll was peeing, I slightly chewed a couple raisins and through it behind so they didn't see. When we lifted the doll up they were like...WOW...what a good job! One thing to remember...don't stress. Most kids are potty trained by the time they are three so your off to a great start.

L.,

What you are describing is so very typical of that age. When a young child goes "poop" in a potty chair or toilet it is for them like losing a part of themselves. It is a scary thing. I wouldn't push it right now, she is obviously not ready. Neither one of you will be stressed if you just give her more time. She will let you know when she is ready and for girls that usually happens quicker than for boys. Girls don't like having a "poopy" diaper on them for long. Hope this helps.

M.

I had a little trouble with the same thing. I know this sounds disgusting, but I had my child clean up the mess. I gave him a flushable baby wipe, had him pick up the poop out of his underwear and take it to the toilet. Then we washed the underwear out and washed our hands really, really well. Throughout the process I kept talking about how yucky it was and how we need to put our poopy in the potty. After three accidents, and three cleanings it never happened again.

I've got 4. One is 3 and going through potty training right now. My oldest was going on the potty well before she turned 3 with no accidents. This one, a boy, doesn't seem to care at all. He will go when we take him and he's pretty good about not having many accidents. But, his body isn't giving him the clues that he needs to go before he's actually going. Some children take longer to progress in that area. It isn't something to stress over. It is physical development, not pure defiance. It will come in time.
Think about this time in her life. She's 2 years old. Think about how much she has learned, grown and changed in the past two years. And then think about all the new things she learns daily. These really are the formitive years and your behavior for the first 5 years shapes who they become for the rest of their lives. Imagine if you had to learn and grow and change that same amount in a matter of a couple years. I'm sure you'd have difficulty in some area as well.
Unless there is some form of disability, children don't continue to poop in their pants for very long regardless of how you deal with it. Why make it more difficult?
I wanted to aslo let you know that huggies, pull-ups is offering a free potty training DVD. The link is http://www.fsisolutions.com/KCPullUpsDVD/

I started potty training my b/g twins in Feb. ~ My daughter is 100% potty trained...it took 2 months. We have "poopy bears" ~ these are SUGAR-FREE gummy bears I buy at CVS. I know "bribing" isn't the best answer, but it sure worked for us. My son had reverted and starting doing #2 in his pullups the last 2 weeks(we had stopped the bears when they "got it"...so we brought the bears back...I think he had lost his motivation so to speak. Hope it works. Good luck. B.
A little about me: Happily married for 13 1/2 years and SAHM of b/g twins that just turned 3.

i'm having trouble as well with my 2yr old boy. i'm hoping to see some of the advice given to you. good luck!

I am sure that you've had a lot of great responses so far but I will put my share in too. Actually I got this advice off of hear and it worked great. I wrapped a small gift and taped it onto our bathroom wall (we have tile walls, but you can display it in her or your room out of reach) and told my daughter that she could have that present if she went caca in the potty. It worked like a charm. We had a couple of accidents but after a handle full of gifts she got it.