Toddler Sharing Room with Baby

With 6 kids, my kiddos have had to have all kinds of room sharing arrangements over the years and I have never had a real safety problem and I must say it would never dawn on me to think that a two year old could suffocate a baby in a crib. I guess if you were really worried about it, you could get one of those crib toppers/safety nets to keep the unwanted toys out.

I think between having a topper and the AngelCare monitor you would be more prepared than most :)

Good luck!

My children have shared a room since my youngest was 4 months old. We haven't had any issues. The oldest was 2 at the time and it's been 2 years now. We did have a crib tent, just in case, but never had to use it.

My girls shared a room and never had that problem. You can explain to the 2 year old that it is unsafe for the baby to have all of those things in the crib. If the baby will be in your room in the bassinet for a while they will probably be there for a few months I am thinking. I did the same thing and the baby was in my room for about 4 months before going to her room. But my other daughter was about 2 and half and it was never an issue. When the babies are that little they dont move around much to get suffocated by toys or pillows. I would just check on the baby after the 2 year old is sleeping..I am sure the 2 year old wouldnt wake up to throw something in there. If the 2 year old is a good sleeper its nothing to worry about. Chances are if the 2 year old does throw something in there on the baby it will wake the baby up anyway and you will know. I dont think its much to worry about and also with that monitor you will be using will help. If you use a regular monitor too you will know if anything 'sounds' like it shouldnt be happening too! :0) Good Luck!! and Congrats on #4!

With 8 children we always shared bedrooms and never had any problem. Well, we did with the two that were 12 months apart but nothing life threatening. Just more getting into trouble. I think if the baby is put in the room at a few months old, or around 3-6 mo. I, then the other child has had time to adjust more to the baby and the newness and being curious, etc. Be sure to check on them often at first but I wouldn't worry about it if it was me. The baby learned to sleep with a toddler in the room and the toddler learned to sleep with a baby waking at night or crying when sick, etc. They adjust well.

Well she has a point.
Your boy is 2 year old now... but 3 years old is a whole other realm as far as their behavior.
I know, speaking for friends of mine... that an older child and a baby/infant do not mix... in the same room.
But for some kids, it can work.
But, there is the whole 'safety' thing... of combining and older child/toddler with a baby or infant.
Because... a child that is under 5 years old, does not exactly have full 'impulse control.' They cannot be a babysitter and all quiet and motionless in their bedroom... and they will wake the baby. That is a given... and they should not be expected to act 12 years old.... because they are only a toddler and they are active. And then, a baby will wake too and cry... and wake the older child. So then the kids may not be getting adequate sleep etc., and if that happens... inevitably, it is the older child that is 'blamed' for that and scolded for any tweaks in sleep habits. Unfairly.
A 2 year old... you cannot expect that if you talk with him or tell him 'rules' that they will do it or understand, or not touch baby. He's only 2. Same for a 3 year old.

I used to share a room with my sister. HATED it. And, apparently when I was a baby too. My sister 'hated' me in there with her... and was not nice.

But I know lots of kids share rooms... of varying ages. And they are fine.

Its really up to you.
My own kids, well they are still young and love being near each other when sleeping sometimes, so its fine. But they are not a 'baby' and then an older child. They are already older.
I think, a baby and an older child do not mix. Frankly... even for us adults... having an infant/baby in our own rooms, keeps US awake, right? And we long to get them out of our room. So... then why do we move a baby... into the room of our other child? If a grown adult can't handle all the wakings... and sleep phases of a baby, then a young toddler certainly would not be any better at it.

all the best,
Susan

Since you aren't planning on putting the newborn into the room with older brother IMMEDIATELY, I think you'll be fine. The time that the baby will be too big for a bassinet in your room is the time (s)he is able to roll over/push up on his/her arms etc. At that point, while you wouldn't go out of your way to put stuffed animals in the crib with him/her, (s)he'll be able to roll out of the way of anything that gets thrown in there.

Also... you should TALK to your two year old about being a good big brother and taking care of the baby. Two is plenty old enough to understand rules like keeping our hands and toys out of the crib because baby is too little to play.

HTH
T.

It's easy to keep ourselves up at night worrying about the latest thing, isn't it? :-) Kids have shared rooms forever, and how many times have you read a story in the paper about this happening? Never. My SIL told me my cat would suffocate my baby...this has never ever happened, but some people still want to believe it could.

You will be able to judge when your older child is ready to "be nice" to the baby, and they baby is starting to be aware and able to move around in the crib, and they can share a room. With a monitor besides, this will be fine!

I shared a room with my sister (2 years younger) my whole childhood. No one I knew had their own room, ever. Sometimes we fought, but mostly I thought it was great to have someone to giggle with at night.

I have two boys: 2 years old and 7 months old. They have shared a room since the baby was about 2 months old--and the older one was 21 months. We have never had a problem with this arrangement. We can even put the boys to bed at the same time with no problems.

Our two year old has never thrown anything into the crib; no one ever mentioned a concern about this to me, either. (Or I probably would have worried, as that's what I do :) )

We did transition to a toddler bed long before the baby arrived...when the older was 16 months old, he liked to jump out of the crib.

Hope this helps.

I believe there is a "tent" or cover sort of thing (made out of netting?) that can be put over a crib. Ventalation isn't an issue becuase it is netting, but baby is protected from these types of things. Look into it if it will help to calm your fears. Also, know that baby will probably be several months old by the time he/she goes to share the bedroom with your 2 year old, so likely baby will know how to roll over, push the pillow away, etc... It will all work out, but do what you need to to maintain your peace of mind!

My SIL had a mesh tent that went over the crib to keep her cat out. You'd obviously still want to teach your toddler the "rules" of sharing with the baby, but it could give you some peace of mind like the monitor does.

I'd say let reason prevail. Children have been sharing rooms for eons so this concept is nothing new. You child will most likely be well into his 4th year (3+ years old) and can be told that nothing should go in with the baby -- and he'll get it. Besides, at 3+ doorknobs are not likely to be a deterrent so even if they were not sharing, this *could* still be a threat, but I doubt it. So unless your child is Damian from "The Omen" I think it should be just fine. I think they'll love sharing a room! Good luck!

You can get a thing called a crib tent if you're that worried. It attaches to the top of the crib and to a hook on the ceiling (if that's the kind you get), kind of like mosquito netting, has stays in the sides to keep it's shape, and zips up. That way you could safely zip it closed when baby is sleeping and not have to worry about your 2y.o. putting pillows or toys in the crib with the baby. You could also just start teaching your 2 y.o. not to put stuff in the crib now, so that when baby has arrived, he'll already know not to do it.

Good luck!

We had this concern and ended up keeping our second child in our bedroom until he was almost a year old (he was nursing, so it was not a big deal). I ended up moving them in together when my younger was about a year old and my older one was 2 1/2. They did pretty well--we just made sure that one was asleep when the other went down and my older one was good (back then) about whispering because his baby brother was sleeping. Generally though if your baby is older and moving, pulling him/herself up on things, he/she will be able to toss off a blanket or pillow. There are crib nets that can attach to the top of the crib but I never used one. I don't think it would be a huge problem to have them share a room, but you will have to wait and see. Children have shared rooms for as long as people have had children and been just fine. The monitor will probably let you rest easily, and just taking out any extra stuff for a while that might hurt the baby if the older one tosses it in would help you relax a bit more.

At 3 1/2 and almost 2 years old, our boys LOVE sharing a room. If they wake up in the morning together, they usually play pretty happily with my older one tossing toys and books into the crib and climbing in with his brother to read. My older one has never done more than give his little brother a welt from tossing a book to him (trying to be nice) and they have been sharing a room for almost a year now. Children are very individual. :)

My now one year old moved in with her big brother when she was 7 months old. They've shared a room now for about 6 months and, once we got bedtime worked out, it has been great. Once, when she was having trouble sleeping, he slipped her a pillow, but we took it out as soon as we found it, and she was over one already, so we weren't too concerned. I just talked to my son in the morning about how she couldn't have pillows yet. They adore each other and love sharing a room. The monitor should help you feel better, and maybe, as others mentioned, the crib tent.

How about a crib tent? The alternative could be putting the baby's crib in your room (instead of just a bassinet) and keeping him/her in there until they are a bit older.

Didn't read the other posts ... so I may be repeating.. I know several people who have done this w/out any issues. If you are still freaked out just buy a Tots N Mind crib tent. They are about $80 (don't buy the one w/ the side nets as it makes for very difficult cleaning/crib sheet changing). It's designed to keep cats out and kids in (my twins started climbing out of their cribs at 12 mos.).

The only down side is the zippers are not made very well... we've had to return 2 of them... but the company is fabulous with replacements. When we were looking we laughed at all the comments from parents re: the zipper being loud... but it is!! So I actually unzip it while running my fingers /holding the zipper between my fingers... it helps a bit. You could also turn the open side away from the 2 YO's bed and just leave it open. Godd luck - and stop listening to your sister in law!!