Toddler Rarely Stays in Cart When Out Shopping, Is This Frowned Upon?

If he's well behaved there is no problem. I shop on weekday mornings when it's not too busy. My little boy used to like to push the cart with me when he was toddling. It was cute. I do try to train my kids to stay on one side of the aisle and be aware of others. We start this pretty early.
I loved the little shopping cart idea. I am so going to use that one for my baby when she is older.

I think that's great.

And I liked the ideas of some of the other posters to have him help you get groceries. I did it with my son when he was a little younger until he decided we needed ALL the soup cans on the shelf, lol.

The only thing I'd say is that personally, I don't let my son walk if the store is busy. He does get in the way (though for the most part I don't think it's a problem). Also, I try to make him stay in the cart at old people shopping time (when the bus from the old folks home pulls up in front of the grocery store) as I don't want to cause any accidents.

I would say it would only be frowned upon if he was running all over the place and being disruptive (and it sounds like he's not). My son is 27 months and I keep him in the cart only because I find it difficult to concentrate on shopping if I have to watch what he's doing at the same time. He seems to do just fine looking around at things from the cart, saying hi to people, pointing out the things he knows around the store. If someone else is with me, I'm more likely to let him walk around on his own.

There's a difference between a toddler running amok and a toddler out of the cart. Sounds like your son is doing fine. Some kids HATE the cart. With my son it was about 50/50. I tried to encourage him to keep O. hand ON the cart while I was shopping.
I do agree that you should provide your own toys, etc for the shopping trips.
and for the man at Walmart--ignore it. There are some people that have to comment (negatively) on everything.

As long as you make sure he stays close with one hand on the basket and is not in ANYONE'S way, I do not see a problem..

But here is the deal, if he does get injured or hurt because he was not in the cart.. Please do not sue the store or take it out on any one else.. Take responsibility for your decision to have allowed this to have been a possibility..

I have been in retail for over 30 years and I know that people that shop, do not expect to see a child out of the basket. Especially in large stores or really busy stores.. If you were to get down on your knees to the height of your child, you will see that if you cannot see the eyes of the adults around you, they cannot see your child.. Just keep in mind why they invented places for young children to sit safely in the basket. ..

BP,
If you are in a big toy store (such as Toys R Us) it’s no big deal, the company expects children to demo the toys that’s how they make their sales. They have a certain amount of inventory that will never be sold as “new” because it’s been “played” with by lots of children.

If you are in a grocery store, drug store or a store with a small inventory, I believe it is wrong to let children take things off the shelves and carry them around, unless the toys have specific items that say demo. I think its best and safest for small children to stay in the shopping cart with the seat belt on incase mom or dad looks away for a second, so the child does not fall out and get hurt.

One of the most appropriate phrases I hear parents say to their children is, “LOOK WITH YOUR EYES”!

Blessings…..

i think it's just fine for a well-behaved child to walk. all kids are not the same, some will do better in a cart, some won't. you can't make your parenting decisions based on what strangers demand you do. you'll make yourself nuts.
that being said, i disagree with the (surprisingly prevalent) advice to be snarky in response. kids learn what we model, not what we say, and reactive nastiness is aggressive, confrontational and depressingly ubiquitous these days. you can stand up for yourself just fine without engaging in tit-for-tat ugliness. let's have our kids learn how to be courteous and rise above the mudwrestling. taking the high road doesn't mean you can't kick butt when it's needed.
khairete
S.

my rule when I have my 3 yr old with me is you hold the shopping cart w/ one hand or you are get buckled in. Between 2 and 2 1/2 he loved to walked now he would rather be buckled in and help cross things off the list then walk. Our local walmart is always packed and people are like maniacs in the store so I wouldn't allow my kids to walk a few feet in front of me just bc of the other ppl there not for fear of them getting into trouble.

B.P.,
Don't get caught up with other people frowning on how you raise your son. As for the man who almost walked into your son, you could have sassed right back, with "you're right, your mom should watch you better." Okay, so you're probably not going to do that.

Keep doing what you're already doing. You have a toddler who walks next to the cart when shopping. That is a huge a accomplishment for him and you.

Good luck.
~K.

Definitely not frowned upon in any way if he's doing what you indicate with being well-behaved.

Our kids are 2 and 4. Sometimes they want to be in the cart, sometimes they want to be out. Sometimes I need them out so I can put things in the cart. They're always by us, they're always being watched and monitored, and we ask them to say, "Excuse me" when they walk in front of someone. We always acknowledge if they may be in someone's way and try to proactively move them so they're not.

I think the only time people look down upon it is if the parent is completely oblivious to the situation and where the child is. However, I don't get that is the case with you in any way.

I think it's safe to say that this has happened to all of us, at some point. Too often, adults don't look down to notice little kiddos, and then they end up getting tripped over. I will admit that I have (on occassion) been annoyed by a little one running amuck...but my annoyance is usually directed at the parent who could care less about controlling their child. I have/had little ones, so I can sympathize that they can wander into the path of a shopping cart or an adult passing by. You can't expect a toddler to be content to sit in a shopping cart (all the time), when it's totally against their nature to want to get out and explore. And sometimes, you are just forced to have to take them with to run errands.

Hang in there mama. Sounds like you are doing the best you can...and that's all anyone can ask of you!!! :)

You are very lucky to have such a well behaved 2 1/2 year old at a grocery store!!! My 3 and 2 year olds are a NIGHTMARE at grocery stores. I only take them w/ me when I absolutely have to. I see no problem at all with your son walking next to you in a grocery store, since he is so well behaved. That man was rude to say you should watch him better. He must have been really old and clueless. So I guess you sent this post to brag????? ha, ha.

No you are not wrong. My daughter would not stay in a cart at all. She is 2 1/2 and I had a hard time keeping her in. So she helps me to push the cart or she walks along side of me. In the beginning we had a problem with her running all over but we talked to her and told her that she has to behave when we are in the store or she can't come with us anymore. Lately she has been so good about it. The only time that she sits in the cart is when she is getting tired. Some people are just so rude and I ignore them. Let him walk if that is what he wants to do. The only time that she will sit in the cart is when I get the ones that have a car on them. She loves to sit in them. But alot of stores don't have them so she just walks with me.

Not at all! If he is well behaved and honestly isn't running off and disrupting, I don't see why people would have a problem. This is coming from a Mom of three kids though. Ask this question on another site of people w/out kids or all grown kids, they might have a different response :)

I think the only problem is that he might get hurt. Adults don't see toddlers walking around especially when they are focused on shopping. He could Very easily be hit by a cart coming around the corner. That would be my only fear.
The fact that he's only been run into once is VERY lucky.

It's not frowned upon and if it is tell whoever makes a comment to mind their business. I was in the same situation you are in. My daughter thought she was a big girl and didn't want to sit in the cart. Our rule was that she stay close to me which she does. You can't worry what people say. There will always be critics who love to evaluate others parenting skills. You just do what you think is best and don't worry about what other people may think. Have a good day!!!

@ Nan- No one used the word REFUSED. No one said he was running a muck! And, if YOU ran into a child with a shopping cart it would be YOUR fault because YOU as an adult are capable of watching out for where you push your cart. You could just as easily bump into an adult who is not looking up while they are walking:) I actually find other adults in a hurry more irritating than children on the loose, because at least children are loud enough to give you a heads up. Adults are just jerks and will cut a path in front of you without so much as an "excuse me."

I would love to see your car driving skills and philosophy;)

And my response: I have always let my daughter walk with me, either holding my hand or a short distance. I have always let her touch and explore things on the shelf. And I have explained to her how hard people work to make things neat in the store so that we can have a nice place to shop and have taught her how to re-shelve things properly. I have never had a problem ever. But she has me as a model. When I choose something off a shelf, I will pull the back stock forward to face the shelf. It takes all of about a nanosecond to do and helps the employees. As a regular shopper I have gotten to know the staff and it makes me feel great to do that tiny little thing that they probably have to do a million times a day:) It is quite comical and sweet to shop with my four year old daughter now as she will face everything on the bottom shelves as we stroll along, telling me "The other shoppers must have forgot to help so I will do it for them.":)

If he is staying with you and not running around there is no problem with him not being in a cart. If he is wandering around and not within immediate reach of you then it is a problem. Just my take on that. I prefer small kids to be in a cart so that they are not in my way when I am going up and down the isles. Not a problem when they stay with mom but for me to come around an isle and have a kid come flying out of the isle with mom saying "now Tommy you need to stay with me, Tommy where are you, Tommy I am going to count to 3 etc.....) that's a pain in my butt.

but the other thing in your note which you didn't ask for a comment on but I am going to comment on anyway as it is a huge pet peeve of mine. If your not going to buy a toy then don't let your child play with it all thru the store an then put it back. No one wants to come in and buy something that another child has fingered, slobbered on, bent the pages of or torn the wrapping on. Bring a toy with you don't expect the store to entertain your child. They are a place of business and they loose money with items that can't be sold because someone "played" with them. ok off my soap box now sorry.

I see nothing wrong with what you described. A behaved child should be fine to walk next to mom and not be in the cart. As for being in the way...when you are shopping there are other people in the store and yes they may be in the way but you don't walk into them (just because they are a child shouldn't make a difference). Kids deserve the same common courtesy as everyone else.

The guy who walked into your child...I would have said "or maybe you should just watch where you are going!"

I think you're doing all right, as long as your son is staying with you and listening to you. Emphasize to him (he's old enough) that big people don't always watch out for little people, so little people need to watch out for the big ones. When the store is crowded and you're willing to let him out of the cart, you could ask him to hold on to the cart with you so that you don't get lost.

I don't think it's frowned upon at all. If it is tough luck! I don't let my kids ride in the cart. I make them walk for a few reasons, 1. it's good exercise 2. I need the cart for my groceries or items 3. I want them to explore 4. it's a good learning experience for them in terms of obedience and self control 5. I encourage them to help me.
So there is my big run on sentence on why I think children staying out of the cart is a good idea!

Im sorry but I disagree with MOST of the posters. The child is 2 and REFUSES to do what he is told?? What if he refused to stay in his car seat? What if he refuses to stay by your side and runs off faster than you can catch him? A child that age has no sense of danger, no sense of strangers and lets face it, not much common sense at all. The parent is supposed to protect the child by keeping him out of harms way. That means IN a shopping cart, and with a seat belt on. Not standing in the basket either. Oh how I shudder when I see that. Suppose I am looking for an item while pushing and shove the cart into your son and he hits his head? You say its MY fault for not paying attention. Well maybe so, but YOUR child is the one with stitches. Personally I do look down on kids wandering around stores and NEVER allowed any of my 6 kids, 97 foster kids or 9 grandkids to do it.

for safety issues & the convenience of others, try to time your shopping at nonpeak hours. Quite a few times, my sons "almost" rammed people with our cart.....& I would always remind them of courteous cart-driving manners & what could have happened if it had been a small child. Accidents can occur...even in the safest of conditions.

My boys were big & rarely fit into the carts. They also enjoyed exploring the store. It's hard to accommodate everybody's wishes & needs ....isn't it? !!

Mom, can you get him one of those little child sized grocery carts to push down the aisle when you are shopping with him at Walmart type stores and the grocery store. I see little ones with these periodically and they seem to really enjoy using them since they are just like a grown up. Hope this helps.

I think you are being very attentive and you are doing a great job during your shopping trips. My son would walk nicely next to me. Sometimes he would get tired and wanted to ride in the cart seat. Other times he'd start getting distracted and wanted to dash away from me, and then he'd go in the cart whether he liked it or not. If Dad was with us, sometimes he'd ride on Dad's shoulders.
I have to say I've seen my share of appalling behavior while shopping. I've seen people who train their dogs better than they train their kids. Some kids (almost teenagers) are allowed to run up and down aisles trying to run cart races. Some play with balls, throwing them around between aisles or throwing merchandise. Some kids (toddlers and older) being allowed to wander where ever they want while a parent chats away on a cell phone not paying any attention at all. Sometimes management has to speak with them about getting their kids under control. A store is a place of business - not a play ground or day care center.
That doesn't even touch on the safety issues with toddlers getting lost and the potential for some stranger grabbing them. My husband likes to take classes with the local police regarding community safety. They related a story where a toddler had gone missing in a Walmart. The mother noticed after 5 min and notified the store management. They went on a store lock down until the child was located. Fortunately the girl was found 10 min later- but she was in a stall in the womens restroom, her clothes had been changed and her hair was half shaved off with a wig on the floor next to her. Who ever did it got away, but they'd planned this and came prepared to do this should the opportunity present itself. At least the child was safe this time, but it does not take long at all for something horrible to happen, and there are some really sick people out there.

Npe, everyon e else is wrong. How dare you give your child indepepndance. How dare you inconvience others while grocery shopping!

Seriously other people need to get over it and stop telling you how to parent. Next time someone says a snarky comment just spit one right back like "Im sorry he disturbed you deciding between carrots and peas, because that is such overwhelming decision that requires deep thought."
Dont be afraid to be rude back, stand up for yourself and your child.

If mine did not run off as soon as I let her out then I would, if he is the kind to stay by you then I can't see why it would be frowned upon

My 3 year old daughter does this too. It's not a big deal...or rather, should'nt be. I've had a few times where someone almost tripped over her because she's so short...but i usually say "I'm sorry, she was under your radar screen because she's so liitle". They usually will agree & laugh. Don't let that crotchety old man make you feel bad! :) It's more of a battle for me to keep her IN the cart. So, i choose to let her be semi-independent. She thinks she's big stuff, and i don't have to fight. Keep doing your thing, mama, you're ok!

It wouldn't be by me. However, appear like you are in control at all times, even if you feel otherwise. He just wants to explore his world, that's all. :o)

Who cares what other people think? Your child is being well behaved, so I personally see NO problem with letting him walk.

My daughter is almost 2 1/2 (in November) and she's half and half with this issue. For me its more of a pick your battles thing. I always tell her she's going to sit in the cart (she has to sit in the back though b/c 10 month old brother sits in front), but if she objects I don't struggle with her over it. She's pretty good about keeping up with me and staying close. I don't let her wander away...even a few feet because of her peanut allergy (don't want her to come into contact with something just becuase she's curios). Sometimes it takes me a bit longer to get my shopping done, but I'm use to it and I just know to make sure I have a little extra time to spend. I've never been met with an negativity about it. Actually, quite the oposite. She is very little for her age so people tend to think its "cute" to see her walking around the store. Sometimes, I'll even let her take her baby stroller with her :)

My son is 2.5 and he is usually in the cart. When he is out, he knows that he has to hold our hand (he gets so ingrossed in something he doesn't always pay attention). There are sometimes that my hands are full and he walks next to me. I wouldn't say that this is something to frown upon. I have had those incidents before where I almost run into a kid, and as long as they are with the parent, it doesn't bother me - I almost run into adults not paying attention too. It is the kids that run all over, and the parents don't teach them about being considerate of other people that are the problem. Good for you for teaching him manners and self awareness so early.

wow, I never even thought about this. I never thougth to care how plp felt about this when I do it bc I do! I have a 21 mo DD and I want her to stay in the cart but she does not always want to. I usually give her snacks/drinks to keep her there and even some toys: as I bring a small bag of toys w/ me always to keep her busy as needed....but there are times she wants to get out and explore. I tell her though that she HAS to hold my hand bc I worry honestly and she will do it bc if not she is told she has to go in the cart. I got her a kindercord: alternative to the leash backpack LOL. but she does not love the kindercord....bet should would rather the backpack LOL. I really think that if you let them explore in the store they will behave better and not only that they will learn from the experience. and as for playing w/ toys in the store, I do let her do it sometimes like I will let her carry around one for a bit but mostly I tell her "one finger touch' and that helps a lot bc she can fill her need to touch but still not all out play w/ toys. xo

What i did with my daughter who's now 8, is i would point an item out that i needed and have her go get it (just a few feet away). She was helping me at the same time learning how to shop and it kept her busy.

that man obviously has no patience for kids or too uptight. i wouldn't do that in a busy store like at christmas time, but you're not in the wrong....will teach your child at an early age that there are boundaries, and will make it so much easier later on....