Toddler Not Talking Yet

It may be that she doesn't talk because she doesn't need to talk. You need to make her use words to ask for what she wants and I see that you do do that, but you say she gives up. When she gives up do you give her what she wanted? If so, stop doing that. Make her ask for it and if she gives up, she does without. If she wants something bad enough, she'll ask for it. Also, does her brother maybe talk for her when she's asked something and doesn't respond. Maybe she just depends on him to talk for her. I would schedule an appointment with the ped. She may need speech therapy.

I wouldn't flip out yet. I have two almost 3 year olds, they say the same kind of sentences (though they do talk a lot). If she is putting those words together, it sounds like she gets it. My father in law didn't talk until he was 4 and he's a genius. My older girls didn't say much until after 3, but they are top students in their classes. It seems like there are so many requirements for babies now a days. Some people are more visual than vocal. Give her 6 more months. Some things just click and fly after 3 years old.

Hi T.,

I am a speech pathologist and I would recommend that you consult a speech patholgist and have your daughter evaluated. The therapist may she is fine or may confirm that she is language delayed. Either way, she can probably give you some good advice about increasing your daughter's vocabulary. A reward system probably won't work, because your daughter would probably talk more if she was able to. Plus, if she is becoming frustrated, more pressure to speak could backfire and she may shut down completely.

Early intervention for speech/language delays is very important and will benefit your daughter in the long run.

Hope this helps.

At 22 months my son had maybe 10 words. We put him in a daycare/preschool program and his language skills improved quickly and dramatically. At 2 1/2 he now is speaking in full sentences. If you are concerned, the early start program Deanne mentioned is a good resource. Here is their website http://www.dds.ca.gov/earlystart/

I'd have her evaluated fairly soon. I'd bypass the pediatrician at this point and go straight to some kind of speech pathologist or therapist.

If she needs help, those folks can tell right away and it is best to have as much time as possible to work on it bfore kindergarten.

I think the other moms have good ideas about having her tested, just to be sure, and seeing if the social interaction at preschool helps. I also wanted to just say that some kids just don't have a whole lot to say at that age. My grandmother likes to tell the story of my dad (the 4th of 7 children), who turned 3 and hadn't said more than a few words yet. She was worried and took him to the doctor. After the doctor observed my dad for a few minutes, he said, "Why should he talk? Everyone does everything for him without his having to ask! Seems like a smart kid to me!" So after that they would make him try and ask for what he wanted before giving it to him. Suddenly he began talking in full sentences. Although to this day, my dad is not a big talker. He's super smart, just a quiet guy who enjoys solitude. Could be that your daughter just enjoys listening more than talking - nothing wrong with that!

Anyhow, I hope that you're able to come to resolution in one way or another soon. Good luck!

My son was also a late talker and I would follow the recommendations made by previous responders to look into having a speech and language evaluation. Since your child is three years old, your local school district is the initial point of contact. Make your request in writing to the special education director - they are required to respond within 15 days of receiving your request. This article form SchwabLearning/GreatSchools has some good info <http://www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/2456&gt;.

On Feb. 5, the Parents Education Network (PEN) will be having a speaker whose topic is the Early Identification of Speech & Language Concerns. The talk is in S.F. but the speakers this organization has are usually worth the trip. Here's a link with more information
<http://parentseducationnetwork.org/Events?eventId=30730&a...;

A.

T.,

I would have her evaluated asap by your pediatrician to make sure there isn't anything wrong. Bring a list of the words she is saying and what your concerns are. Maybe there are some resources in your area that you could be referred to. Also, pre-school has many benefits including encouraging speech and communication. I would seriously consider it as soon as possible. I think it would greatly benefit her in all areas-not just speech.

Molly

Hi T.,
I have heard that children who don't talk very much by a certain age are just deep thinkers and may actually be incredibly smart, but just don't have a whole lot to say just yet. I wouldn't treat her any differently than you did your son at that age. Just keep talking to her like always and one day she will amaze you with the large vocabulary and sentences. I believe that she just doesn't have a lot to say just yet and if you push, she might close up even further. Let the words come naturally and if you already do, keep reading and playing with her. Teach her to write (I know she's only 3, but my daughter is already learning to write and she's 3 as well) and maybe she'll have more to say with writing than speaking.

You may also try to talk to a hearing doctor about whether or not she hears certain sounds (example - consonants make a different sound than vowels). My next door neighbor's son has hearing aides because he doesn't hear certain consonant sounds but hears everything else perfectly. It's a pitch thing. It may be this or just what I said in the previous paragraph.
Good luck.
S.

I am a stay-at-home mom of 1 - she's 3.5 and have been married 5.5 years.

Do you make her ask for what she wants? (play dumb/confused even if you know she loves apple juice and that is what she wants in the fridge, offer the milk or water or OJ first then OH, you want the APPLE juice! things like that) If she is able to communicate (via gestures, mind reading, looks, etc) what she wants sufficiently enough that the family will get what she wants, then why should she talk? If you get down and play with her, then something like playing house with a Fisher Price family of people where she is this and that person and you are the other family members and talking back and forth, maybe that would encourage her to use her words?

My brother in law didnt talk (oldest of 4) until he was 3. Not deaf, nothing wrong. Just didnt want/need to talk! Fluent in several languages now, so definitely not an indicator of language ability.

You mention your son used sign language - do you use it with your daughter as well? If you do, and she simply doesnt feel the need to talk, maybe nothing is wrong. Not everybody is a chatterbox. But for your peace of mind, get a speech evaluation (school district should be a good place to start with - ask for the early language intervention specialist to evaluate her or something like that...)

One thing I remember from way back before my son got to this point is that when a little child cried, mom said "use your words" so that the child could explain to mom, instead of just bawling.

Hi T.,
I so understand how difficult it is to know what's best for our kids! After 6 1/2 years of speech therapy and ocupational therapy with my son, I must pass along to truly not worry. You know your daughter best and if she is truly speech delayed, or in need of other medical attention, you will just know. We went through many different channels and experts and all of them agreed that the most important thing is to make sure she can communicate her needs clearly. The words will come when she's ready. If she's not able to communicate or extrememly frustrated, you may discover it's not a speech problem at all, but rather a "processing" issue -- both equally managable. After constant positive encouragement and me letting go of MY expectations (i.e comparing to others), my son is excelling in school and has no evidence any longer of being speech delayed. Hang in there and give your daughter a hug!!
Best wishes, H.

Parents Helping Parents in San Jose is a good resource.
www.php.com

Hello,

I would get your pediatrician to refer her for a speech therapy evaluation just to be on the safe side. My son was not talking a lot by two years old so we had a speech therapy evaluation done and found out he had a speech delay and was on the mild end of the autism spectrum, which I would have never suspected in a million years because his other behaviors seemed so normal to me. He still gets speech therapy now at age three and is doing really well. Not to say that this is at all what is going on with your daughter but I figure it's better to get things checked out when they're really young and find out everything is fine rather than wait on it.

Hi T.- I wouldn't worry about it yet as she's still really young. My first daughter was super verbal, full sentences and big words at one and never a problem understanding her. She too used sign language and communication was really easy. My second girl sounded like she had a mouth full of marbles at three, nearly four years old with fewer words and little desire to articulate more clearly. When I started to be concerned I met with the preschool director about it. She asked if I thought my daughter was capable of speaking more clearly or if she really just couldn't form the right sounds. Meanwhile my daughter is playing quietly nearby. The director leans in and says some kids just don't feel the need to pronounce things properly and will have "lazy speech" until the words come more easily at around 5 or 6. As I'm telling the director that I'm not really sure and I'll see if I can figure that out my girl looks up at us and says Ssss...Ssss...Ssssnake! Perfectly pronouncing the S sound that she would garble in normal speech. I guess that was my answer! She is now a bright, happy first grader who talks perfectly and constantly :). Unless there is some other developmental signs I would not worry about speech for a while. Good luck and enjoy you daughter!

Contact your local school district. Ask for the speech pathologist or the school psychologist, when you speak with one of them request a speech evaluation for your child. At age 3, your child could be eligible for speech therapy through the school district. After talking to one of the above mentioned, put it in writing. The district has I believe 60 or 65 days to then complete an evaluation and give you the results. Once you have this information, you can make a determination about how to proceed.

Many school districts offer small group therapy or something called PPPIP (Parent Participatory Preschool Intervention Program). This program often looks like preschool and is usually two days a week.

I'm a teacher and a mother of a three year old with speech delays. I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not your child can communicate with you at preschool, children work and play together regardless.

My son is 2 years, 9 months and has been in speech therapy since May. His pediatrician referred us at his 2 year well visit when I told him he wasn't really talking.
I would get in contact with your pediatrician and go from there. Good luch!

Talk to your local school district to check into an early intervention program. My son started this at 2 years old because he only said 2 words. At 3 he still wasn't talking much but they worked with him twice a weeks on his speech with games, interaction, etc. I spent a lot of time with him at home playing games to get him to talk. We'd put bandages on the stuffed animals and get him to talk about what hurt, say "rip" when the bandage was ripped off. We'd draw and I'd ask about colors, picture, etc. I played Disney sing along tapes in the car and I'd try to get him to sing. I'd read books and point out pictures--the books my sons liked the best for this were written by Bill Martin (Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see, Polar Bear, Polar Bear . . ., Baby Bear, Baby Bear . . . , Panda Bear, etc., The Very Hungry Catapillar), and written by Iza Trapani (I'm a little teapot, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Twinkle, Twinle Little Star). I'd get him to say them along with me. With regard to the Trapani books, you can sing them to the tunes. I'd sit in front of our mirrored closet doors with him and make sounds and have him watch and immitate. I did reward him with Fruitloops or other sugary cereal (which he normally didn't get). We'd practice mamama, lalala, dada, pop, mmmmm, shshsh, tap, , oops, etc. Virtually any sound. We'd do animal sounds with one of the See and Say (do they still make them?). It sounds like she's got quite a number of words under her belt, but it doesn't hurt to encourage more. Don't worry it. Check with the school district (they hopefully will work with you--ours believed it best to start early so there wasn't too much of a delay when he got of school age).

Hi T.,

I don't know what "normal" is but I didn't start speaking until I was three. I started reading when I was five, I started college when I was barely 17, and I am literate as can be. Some of us just have our own timeframes :o). Try not to worry.

K.

You can call your local county office of education (Google it or look in the phone book's government pages). They can evaluate her speech and decide if she needs therapy. 40 words seems like very few to me, but then again, she probably says a lot of things that you understand but others would not. Maybe she is just a quiet observer. Singing and asking her questions about the stories and books you read can get her verbal skills going.

Best wishes!

Hello there!

I have the same thing with my almost 3 year old boy. He actually talks quite a bit but my problem is that he's hard to understand. He doesn't pronounce his words clearly. He knows all his letters and even their sounds, he can count to 10, knows his colors and can even sight read. I do not plan on sending him to preschool until he is almost 4. It's what I've done with my other kids who all were speaking clearly by 3 as well. Oh, btw he is the youngest of 6 kids ranging in age from 24, 17, 15, 11, 6 and then him, almost 3. I plan on getting his speech checked out. His hearing checked out just fine. Looking for advice and encouragement as well!

Both my sister and my brother-in-law (both of whom were second children) did not start speaking in full sentences until they were more than three years old. Our parents still laugh about it. When my sister and brother-in-law did start speaking, however, they were speaking in sentences, and quickly caught up to their peers. Both are extremely intelligent (my sister just graduated top of her class from Yale's nurse practitioner program) so it hasn't hindered them in any way. In some ways, preschool may actually be good for your child, since she will be pushed to work harder to communicate (and may surprise you with how quickly she masters language in such a setting). My second child (also a girl) is way behind my son in terms of language / speaking skills. I am having her hearing checked out just to play it safe, but in lieu of any problems there, am assuming she will just begin speaking in her own time. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my son. My daughter talked early so I was concerned. One day however, I observed my daughter and son playing and noticed they were just grunting at each other. He was learning caveman language from his older sister. I had to tell her to start talking to him and getting an answer or they would be grunting for the rest of their lives. You might notice your childrens language together and get the older one to help.

Good luck, D.

Hi T.,

It seems as though you've received some good advice already. As many of the other posters said, it would be best to seek an evaluation. It will either confirm your concerns, or give you peace of mind that everything is fine.

I am a mom of a 4 year old with a severe speech delay. Our story probably does not relate to yours, but when our son was 3.3 years he was diagnosed with a speech disorder called Apraxia. It's often difficult to diagnose until children reach the age of 3 or so because they have to have enough language for a speech pathologist to get a sample to check for patterns in errors. At 3.3 years, my son was only speaking a few single words, and not very clearly at that. Today, a year later, he is talking in sentences!!! He does still have some articulation issues though. Once we figured out what he was having trouble with, we began working very hard to help him. We have done intensive speech therapy both through the school district and privately. It's helped him so much!!

Good luck, I'm sure everything is going to work out fine. One other thing...go with your gut. If your pediatrician tells you not to worry and that she'll do it when she's ready, don't listen if you're not 100% comfortable with that response. That seems to be a standard answer that many parents get, and it can cost you precious time in getting her the help she needs (if she needs it).

A.

My daughter turns 3 on Saturday and is considered speech delayed. I think at this point it's mainly that she's so hard to understand as her vocabulary seems big enough. I remember starting to have her evaluated around 2.25 or 2.5 and I think even then she had more than 40 words. So while I wouldn't panic, I'd have your daughter evaluated by a therapist as soon as possible. I hesistated to do anything as kids years ago just learned eventually but my sister's son is hard to understand and she said it starts to become an issue socially. He gets frustrated no one understands him etc. So why make things more difficult on him/her? My daughter has been going to weekly therapy for awhile now and I think it's helped.

Hi T.,

Here's what What to Expect The Toddler Years says (Ch 16)":
"By 3 years old, your toddler should be able to:
identify 4 pictures by naming
wash and dry hands
identify a friend by naming
throw a ball overhand
speak and be understood half the time
carry on a conversation of 2 or three sentences
use prepositions"

What I did (more to encourage thinking than speech development): I would ask my kids a question and then wait for an answer. It seems that older sibs and adults don't like the pause between question and answer and jump in with the answer. I waited.

What does your daughter do really well? Does she have great co-ordination? Perhaps she is always on the go. Maybe she's more interested in things other than speaking and developing those skills first?

Good luck!

Hi T.:

My son is 2 years 3 months old and my fourth child. His pediatrician referred him for speech therapy at the age of 18 months. He has been working with a speech therapist ever since. He has learned sign language and is saying more words now. His biggest issue is with receptive language. Many people thought his speech was delayed because he is the fourth child, others said give him time. My belief is that early intervention is best. My goal is to help reduce some of the frustration of the language barrier and hopefully give him the tools he needs to use more words. One of the ways in which we are trying to get him to use more words is by giving him lots of choices. For example, we ask him, "Would you like the banana or the orange?" And then we wait for a reply. If he points to the banana and says orange, then we hand him the banana and say, "Ohh, you'd like the banana."

I hope in some small way this information has been helpful. All the best to you and your family.

T.,
try reading to her. show her some pictures and ask her
to say what they are. Some kids just get there speech
later in life than others. My youngest did not talk until he was 18 mos. old, but we later found out he has
an auditory processing disorder. I kept waiting for him to talk like his sisters did. He ended up in speech therapy so he could learn to talk. Pictures helped a lot. Maybe you could make a picture chart of what her favorite foods are, and practice those?
W. m.

Your Pediatrician is a great place to start. We had the same issue they suggested we wait till my child turned 3 then the DR referred me to my local school. There the speech therpist evaluated and started working with my child. The rule is by age 3 a child should be saying 3 words sentences. Sounds like your doing all the right things and keeping alist of the words is a great place to start. They also helped me focus on one area at a time like increasing his words by having him ask for things, but any gester is considered a form of communication. So if your pushing for your child to say the word it will furstate them and they will shut down. You want to reward all signs of communication such as pointing, looking at you in the eye and things like that. Also, you should know they also had us screen my child for Autism because one of the signs is not talking. All turned out good. We are on our way to talking more everyday. Singing songs also helped like "clean up time" or "taking a bath" all that helped to increase his words. God Bless and I hope it helps.

My daughter was being evaluated by a speech pathologist when she was not talking by 3 years old, even though she was in daycare since 8 month old. She was considered at the low end of the normal range. She was tested not only expressive language but receptive language which was fine (understood everything we said and every direction we gave). They gave me assurance that she was ok.

She always loved to be read to and is now an avid reader. As she entered kindergarten, her verbal skills developed and became more secure when she made friends. Before then, she may have felt insecure and timid.

It is a bit slow for her age.Have you taken her to the doctor oe to a speech therapist. Believe me when she does start she will not stop but I would check with professionals.

Definitely talk to your pediatrician. However, my son is 2 ½ and is in the same boat. Although, sounds like you daughter puts more words together. My son will just say, mom go? My pediatrician says as long as I am seeing a progression it is just fine. Even if the progression is taking a long time.

Dear T.,
From the age of 3 on, the local school district provides speech services as well as special education preschool. My daughter started at 3 and it has made a tremendous difference. She needed the extra help and support that special education preschool and Kindergarten provided. The speech services also gave her the tools to learn how to formulate words and therefore sentences. If you call your local school, you can get a referral to the testing psychologist and that person will run a battery of tests and as long as she falls below average and fit into their guidelines they'll start helping her out. I think being as proactive as possible is a great help. The school district here in San Ramon have been wonderful. I bet you'll get a lot of help.
D.

I would contact a speech therapist (as others have suggested) and perhaps a pediatric neurologist. If you live in the SF area Dr. Sheila Jenkins is very good. She's with CPMC and she's downstairs in the new pediatric area at 3838 California. Your daughter is probably doing her own thing but I would want to have her checked out rather than wait. Two short stories for you. My friend has 3 daughters all about 3 years apart. The youngest didn't say very much at all until just before pre-school. Then she just started talking. They were shocked! When my friend asked her why she didn't say anything she said she didn't have to - her sisters said and did everything for her. Another friend's child had excessive fluid build up on her brain causing pressure on the area that controlled speech only (hearing was ok etc), they found it with an MRI, treated it and the child is fine and talking up a storm. Have her checked out. Best to you!

Immediately, call the school district in which you live and ask for them to do testing of your child. They will do it for free. If she qualifies she will get services and may qualify for the speech preschool. I am a teacher so I know that is the procedure to do, but also my son has speech problems and I even kept asking his pediatrician and he would say he was fine. I wish I wouldn't has listen to him because the earlier you get your child the help the faster the speech will improve. When you contact your local school I would put your request in writing because after that they have a certain amount of days that they need to have the testing completed. Remember if it is not in writing sometimes it is forgotten.

maybe a card game with pictures on one side-like memory.each time you turn a card over-say the name of the object.you can make your own cards,and the pictures don't need to match exactly.example:cookie,apple,etc

I was in the same situation. My son turned 3 in September, but around 2.5 I started to become really concern about his lack of speech. I contacted the Parents Helping Parents via my doctor at Kaiser (reference in other reponses). They helped me to get in touch with San Andreas Regional Center with provides Speech Therapy for children until age 3. We had a wonderful lady that would come to our house 2 days a week for 1 hour each session. We only had her for about 3 months, but I did see an improvement in my son. After the age of 3, you have to register your child with the school district in order to receive Speech Therapy through them. My son has been going since October and he is talking so much more. It is not always clear, but it’s amazing to see the improvement. I know a lot of people will tell you to just wait it out (as this is what many people told me), but this is your child. Since your child is not 3 yet, try to contact PHP or San Andreas Regional Center in Campbell. Hope all works out!!

Hi T.... my grandson was having speech problems and got very frustrated at not being able to talk, my daughter had him in speech therapy, and they noticed other things he was unable to do that normal almost 3 year olds should be doing like dressing themselves and putting on shoes/taking them off, lack of dexterity,etc, and he was diagnosed as having Dyspraxia. It stems from the body not getting motor nerve signals. Check out www.dyspraxia.com, to see if your daughter has any of these symptoms. Sincerely, CJ