Toddler Not Eating - American Canyon,CA

He can only eat that, if you give it to him! If you don't want him to have it, don't give it to him. its very simple. Fix him what you want him to eat and he'll either eat or he won't but do not give him and give him anything else until the next regular meal time. eventually he will eat. he will not starve himself. It's a battle of wills - don't let him win this one!

My husband and I do not believe in fighting over food. We try to have at least one thing each child likes, usually its the same food and then make whatever else we are making for dinner. For example the kids all love mashed potatoes, we then add a meat and vegetable. They are required to try one bite of everything on their plate but do not have to finish it if they don't like it. My son took 4 years of trying brocolli, one bite at a time, before he would actually eat a serving of it. My middle daughter didn't like food mixed and would pick everything, including sandwiches, apart before she would eat it. Now she is 11 and eats everything we put in front of her. My main concern with pushing them to eat was that it can cause eating disorders as they get older. Most kids grow out of the eating one specific food everyday. You just need to keep indroducing other things to him. Also I don't believe in letting a kid go to bed hungery. They need the food to grow and learn.

Stop serving him the nuggets & fries - period. He will not allow himself to starve if there are other, more healthier, options to eat. He may not eat for a day or so, but I can gaurantee you that he will eat when he's hungry enough.

I learned early on (from another Mama) that it's best to let you child know that you are not a "short-order cook" in the kitchen. That, what's for dinner / breakfast / lunch is what it is. There can be a request for something else, but unless you are ready & prepared to get that for him, that what he has in front of him is what's for dinner. If he doesn't want it, fine. But that's how kids get to be so picky.

Once he's started to accept that he'll have to eat healthier if he wants to eat, then you can start adding the nuggets & fries back into the diet, but I would only offer it as a "reward" of some sort; good job at listening today or when you're traveling or something. That way it doesn't slip back into his regular diet again & I would even bet he wouldn't be that interested in it once he's had a taste of fresh veggies & fruit.

One way to serve food to him is to just put a small sampling of cut up veggies & fruit into an ice cube try & set it out so he can play & then snack on whatever is available. There are tons of resources online that give wonderful ideas for toddler foods that are easy for them to eat, easy for you to prepare & packed full of good nutrition. There is absolutely nothing nutritious about a chicken nugget or french fry. It's easier to teach good eating habits earlier than later.

Good luck!

Great suggestions here. My kid is the same way and here are my ideas. Move him toward a healthier version of his favorites. My 22 m.o. son also loves chicken nuggets but only Earth's Best organic. Try switching your boy to that brand or Ian's Organic chicken nuggets and Ian's Organic mini-chicken sandwiches. At least he'd be eating healthier. Have you tried other ways of preparing chicken? Recently on a road trip, we discovered he loves french fries:( We usually avoid fast food. So now at home, we make them as well as sweet potato fries and zucchini sticks. MUCH healthier than fast food.
Also: my son drinks a lot of (seriously watered down) juice throughout the day. I think that ruins his appetite so we're working on reducing his juice intake but it's hard to deny him when he asks. Does your little one have the same issue?

Dear D.,
In my personal opinion, you need to stop offering him chicken nuggets and fries. You don't know if he will eat other foods because apparently he hasn't had to. My kids went on weird kicks. For instance, my son loves brussel sprouts so much, he wanted some of them every day along with what ever else we were having. It lasted a couple of weeks, but I didn't see any point in him not having some brussel sprouts since he wasn't eating them instead of anything else.
Just start offering your son whatever it is you normally make for dinner including a fruit and vegetable. There's no sense in fighting about it. If he chooses not to eat, that's fine. He really will not starve. You may feel terrible if he doesn't each much for a day or two or even a week, but in the long run, it's the best thing for him. I tell my friends with picky kids that a kid will eat a dirt sandwich if they get hungry enough. I have one friend whose kid is now a teenager and she rarely gets to eat her own dinner because he will throw a fit until she takes him to McDonald's or Burger King. It's completely out of hand. She'd rather him eat fast food than go hungry a night or two because there is no alternative to the healthy meal everyone else is having.

I did daycare for a man who worked the night shift. He dropped his daughter off in the afternoons and picked her up before school in the morning. The first day he dropped her off, I told him we would be having sloppy joes, corn on the cob and homemade applesauce for dinner. He looked me right in the eye and said, "Oh no. That will never do. She only eats chicken nuggets and french fries. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You're going to have to go to the store and buy some." Well, I'd already been to the store that day and sure enough, she would not touch one single thing, not even the applesauce. She wouldn't touch the cream of wheat with fresh berries in the morning, either. He was mad at me because she didn't eat anything.
I didn't have her very long. I made healthy and nutritious meals for my kids, they ate ANYTHING I served them. I thought, "I'll be danged if I'm going to make my kids eat what I fix them and then let them sit and watch her eat chicken nuggets and french fries every day."
It's not like he brought them over either. He expected me to supply them.
The kid was 8 fricking years old!
Her diet wasn't any of my business, but I didn't think it was healthy and I didn't want to perpetuate it either. I sure as heck wasn't going to let my kids start telling me what they would and wouldn't eat. I made the rules in my house. Not my kids, not some little girl, and not her father I was doing a huge favor for.
I told him I thought it would be best if he found someone else to watch her. It was after that I heard from a mutual friend he'd been through about a dozen other babysitters for the same reason. It's not that she had food allergies or was a special needs child, that I could have handled and explained to my kids. Folding her arms, throwing her chin out, pouting, refusing to try watermelon or yogurt or carrot sticks with ranch dressing even for a snack....asking me what part of she ONLY eats chicken nuggets don't I understand.....
FORGET THAT!
The other thing is that sometimes you have to fake kids out. My daughter ate everything we ate, but she was convinced that the food on my plate tasted better. So, I would fix our plates knowing full well that she would want to trade and she ended up with the plate she was meant to have in the first place.
Anyway, definitely introduce your son to other foods. Be prepared for him to protest. Ride it out and be sure to really play up how good what you are eating tastes. There is a world of food beyond chicken nuggets and he'll thank you in the end.

Best wishes!

Check out weelicious.com....there are a lot of great recipes and ideas there that have worked great with my 18 month old. Also, try to get him to 'help' you cook- he'll want to try what he made! :)

D.,
Just keep offering other foods...he will eat when hungry. Do not give in and give him the nuggets and fries. I know it is hard when they don't eat but they will not let themselves starve. Good luck!

Make your own. (You can freeze a bunch and use as needed for convenience just like the store bought types, but it is healthier!)

Whatever food you offer, try to make sure it is "dunk-able" ie, carrot sticks (sliced lengthwise so it is not so thick for little teeth to bite through) veggie strips (my son - maybe he was weird? loved red & yellow pepper strips as a toddler) with ranch or salad dressing, toast strips with a soft pbj dip, cheese sticks, baked potato wedges, etc. Maybe slight changes at first, like zucchini fries, etc. Do you cook? or can you find recipes and make good substitutions for nuggets & fries?

DONT give in and let him have ONLY that. maybe make a simple chart and he has to have 5 different foods before he can have FF's & CN's again. Teach him the importance of variety - he wont be able to explain it to you, but he'll get it as you keep re-stating the rule and showing him he has to have 5 other foods before he can have that again.

He is not old enough to go and fix those foods himself, so NOW is the time to train him to accept and eat a variety of foods. (That said, toddlers do tend to stick to familiar favorites. They say it takes about 5 trial tastes before they like & eat something new.)

I dont know if a 2yo is ready for this, but something I learned here and started with my son when he was about 4-5? was the 3 bite rule. First bite to see what it is, 2nd bite to taste, 3rd bite to decide. You know how many kids "know" they dont like something just by LOOKING at it?! They have to have 3 (I tell my son 4) bites before they can decide they truly dont like it, then ok, after 4 bites, fine, they can eat the rest of their meal and be done.

Your child will not starve (even if you feel sooo guilty!) because you didnt give him CN & FF's for a week. He WILL eat. Even if it's just graham crackers and applesauce at first. (applesauce is a great dipper for graham cracker sticks, btw! and healthy(ier) too!)

Hi D.- Most processed foods like chicken nuggets and french fries are poison to your child if that's all he's eating. I am not being extreme, do a little reasearch online. Read the label of what is really in what your saying is basically the only food he eats. That stuff should be enjoyed as a treat if at all. Feed him home prepared whole foods, eventually he will eat what you serve. At this point you have all the control, help him to form good eating habits now and it will come natually later. Good Luck!

Be sure to put the healthier foods on the plate first. One technique I've heard of involves serving the veggies, sort of like an appetizer, while the rest of the meal is being prepared. If they're good and hungry, they'll likely start with that. You don't want them filling up on the nuggets before they've eaten anything else.

A question. Do you purchase or make your own nuggets? I would be concerned if he were only eating fast food nuggets, as they contain more corn products than they do meat. But you can make your own very easily. Same with french fries. We only make oven fries or roasted potatoes at home, similar yet infinitely more healthy.

Keep encouraging him to try new foods. You can read some great tips at www.askDrSears.com. Dr.s Bill, Bob and Jim are great pediatricians and have a number of great books. Dr. Jim is on the ABC program The Doctors and I have the pleasure of working with him. I also have a number of resources that I can share, if you'd like, that I've acquired the past few years. I'm taking classes from a Naturopath on Wellness and Prevention. Good luck and keep offering foods that you want him to eat. He won't starve himself. D.

Hello D.,
When our children were young going to McDonalds was a treat not the norm becasue of the expense. When one of our 5 children would get picky I would resort to making soup.
I know this sounds odd but I could show them they had what they were asking for( chicken and potatoes in your case) and much more to boot just looking different. My daughter in law does a great thing that you might consider. She puts a variety of things on a platter and different dipping sauces and her children will eat healthy and even the picky ones will like the taste of Ranch or Dill dressing on things.
You already know that if you don't take charge now then when your child is a teen you are in for so much trouble. Children are only going to push the boundries as much as you will allow them to. Being the one in charge isn't always easy or fun but you are the one that choose to have the children and that makes you the one to wear the battle gear and do what is best for them and not what is easiest. I have one child that only wanted to eat candy that's it he lived without it because I refused to buy it-- today that same boy is a man, a great father and husband so they do live inspite of not getting their way. Wishing you well in this and feel free to get the suppport you need to do it from Mama Source Moms that have fought these and other battles. Nana Glenda

I just recently bought the book Deceptively Delicious. You sneak veggies and fruit into everyday foods. There is a recipe in there for chicken nuggets. I haven't tried it yet, but it looks great. There is also a recipe for ketchup. I would try that for your 2yo and give him a side of fruit or veggies. He may not eat those right now, but he may come around. Just make sure your offering. Good luck.

Offer him other things with the thing he likes: like chicken nuggets and cut up fruit. You could also just tell him whatever you are having is chicken nuggets. My daughter (age 3 1/2) calls every meat chicken... To go really hard core, just cook whatever you are going to cook, tell him that's dinner and that if he isn't hungry he doesn't have to eat it. You definitely don't want a food fight! He WILL eat when he is hungry.

Best wishes!

offer a variety of foods, and do not offer chicken nuggets and french fries. Your toddler will not starve himself, he will protest and may end up not eating much for a few meals but he will eat and learn to like other foods, try not to make it a control issue but offer and encourage but be firm about not offering other things. My toddler loves pasta with butter and cheese, chicken hot dogs, broccoli trees, bunny carrots, cereal, granola ww cheese toast, vegetable soup- maybe some ideas to try

Our doctor told us that when the child is that young YOU control what they eat - so give them good food. He will not starve. Now is the time to expose him to a wide range of food. Stop giving him the chicken nuggets and fries completely - hopefully he'll forget them. He's way too young to be this picky. That said, my 7 YO is really picky but I think she was better when she was younger. I don't think she got really picky around age 4 or so. I know it seems easier to give into what they will eat but it only gets worse. And it is such a pain to make two meals every night.

Most kids do go through these phases. Keep offering other foods. Put the same food on your plate & daddy's plate. My girls had to learn that this was dinner on everyone's plate, we're all eating the same thing. One of mine would break down for about 15 minutes of straight crying, it was tough but we knew if we just let her scream (hard when out) she would eventually quiet down and eat. It only happened for a short while, but it worked. Even when she was red-faced and really worked up, she'd calm down if we remained calm and just told her "when you're done, please eat your dinner." But I don't give in to the tantrums.

And don't make a big deal about it, don't give in, he'll get the idea eventually. It doesn't mean never serving his current favorite, but you stay in control of his food. He will not starve himself. My girls eat lots of variety, they still get picky about certain things (they're all different) but for the most part, they eat well.

You'll do fine, you are a good mom and will know what is best.

Take care,
D.

I would offer different things with the meal, I always try to offer a fruit and/or a veggie with every meal (my 2 1/2 year doesn't normally eat it but I offer) and if that is all he will eat, make a healthy version of these so he's not getting all the fats of friend things. Maybe even make your own with pureed veggies in them. I know they have them in the Deceptively Delicious book.

Hi D. A,

That is not a good diet for your little one. My granddaughter had a poor diet and I started making her protein drinks with young barley grass and Ciaga juice 21 different fruits and berries and then pouring the extra in ice cream molds and freezing it and she would get the nutrition that was missing in her diet with a healthy snack and then she started eating better.

If you want more info let me know.

Have a great day.

N. Marie

It's very common for toddlers to go through a phase like this - keep offering a variety of healthy foods and expect that your child will refuse them several times before even trying them. Toddlers are experiencing a greater sense of independence than infants and often will assert it at the table.

I *highly* recommend nutritionist Ellyn Satter's book "Child of Mine, Feeding With Love and Good Sense" (This is where I learned about picky toddlers being a normal developmental stage.) It's good that you're trying to find solutions now, because Satter notes that many parents will just keep feeding the child the one or two foods they know the child will eat and then when the child decides he/she doesn't like that food anymore, the parents feel even more frustrated.
here's a link to the book: http://www.amazon.com/Child-Mine-Feeding-Love-Sense/dp/09...
she also has some info posted on her web site https://ellynsatter.com/default.jsp

You are responsible for your child's health and what he eats directly affects his health. Offer him what you want him to eat. Do not offer him chicken nuggets and french fries. Be prepared for a huge fight. Be prepared for the child to refuse to eat for possibly 2-3 days. Guess what? He will eventually get hungry and will eventually eat what you give him. Don't beg, bribe or reward and don't get emotional about it. Just say eat it or go to your room. That's the only choice he has. He has manipulated you to give him what he wants to eat. You need to change that. You are the adult and you are in charge. After you do this, you will see that he really does have an appetite.

I had to learn this one the hard way, too. Only, my little one was four when I finally laid down the law. I thought eventually he would change on his own. He did not. Now my five year old eats whole foods, not processed foods. And guess waht else? He hasn't really gotten sick this winter. Just one little cold. Good luck!

NOT fried? I would get the best quality nuggets, and bake them in the oven. Homemade french fries are easy, also baked. You can try sweet potato fries. It may just be the shape and testure he is used to. Also try green bean fries or apple sticks. Does he have a favorite dip? You can use a familiar item, like dip, as a transition item; use the same dip in the same cup and give him soemthing new to dip in it. Also, try fish sticks. They have a familiar look and texture to nuggets. When I make pizza for my kids (age 5 and 1 1/2) I add fresh veggies, like tomato, to up the nutrient values. Rather than providing the food he is so used to, present two familiar things and one new food at a meal. It might be awhile before he tries them, but I think he will. Mine was all mac n cheese for the longest time. I started making mac n cheese from scratch and adding pureed veggies to the sauce. Just a little corn or tomato goes a long way toward nutrition goals.

My kids always get multi-vitamins and soy protein too. Helps alleviate some of the pressure to provide all their nutrition through the foods they eat.

Throw away any chicken nuggets and fries you might have in the house so you aren't tempted to feed them to your child. Be prepared to have your child cry alot and scream because they are hungry and want the chicken and fries. After a few meals of refusing to eat, he will come around and start eating again. He won't starve himself. You will want to cry yourself going through this process but it will work. Serve healthier choices for sure. Kids love pasta, try that as a start. Good Luck!

Here are a couple of things to try. First off, do keep on putting a variety of foods on his plate and encourage him to try other things. Don't make it a big power struggle or he'll rebel and that will make it worse. But, you could try a little 'dealing' with him. Don't put a lot of any one thing on his plate. Then when he has eaten the two or three nuggets and half dozen fries you put on the plate and is asking for more of those, say something like, 'ok, eat one grape and you can have another chicken nugget'. He'll probably refuse, so wait a little bit until he asks for more of the nuggets or fries again. Then repeat what you said. Don't give in and let him have more fries or nuggets unless he eats whatever it is you've 'bargained' with him for. If he totally refuses, simply let him get down and go play until the next meal time.
Another option is to simply fix a meal without chicken nuggets and fries. Tell him, 'this is what we're having this time. We don't have any chicken nuggets and fries'. He don't make a big deal of trying to get him to eat, and go on eating your food. If he doesn't give in and try something by the time the rest of the family is ready to leave the table, just let him go play. I know it sounds like you'll starve the poor child, but he will get the idea if you do this for a day or two. The key is not to give him a bunch of other food because you feel sorry for him. If you have a snack time, offer a piece of fruit and a cracker... or maybe a piece of cheese and a cracker. Then the next meal, make something else ... but no chicken nuggets and fries. Try it again as you did with the first meal. He'll likely be ready to try something, but he may well try to cry and play on your sympathy first. Most twos, even if they are not chubby, can withstand missing one or two meals while you are changing a poor eating habit.