My 2 and 8 month old toddler has raised some concerns. She is very affectionate, smiles, makes eye contact, Imitates in play, has a small imagination, uses many words and sentences,asks for help, feels compassion etc read at 18 months. She loves number ,colors, she knows how to add ,and knows her alphabet. Anything that is brought to her achdemically she picks up right away for example she is learning to write.learning comes easy to her.
She does not play with other children she plays around them and holds their hands at most when prompted.she usually chooses to play with adults and feel's comfortable that way. Although she has a large vocabulary she sometimes answers questions wrong. Example what do you want to eat she'll say I like draw. Her preschool teachers brough this to my attention and Iam getting her evaluated. My child has had 7 ear infections doctor refuse put in tubes could be a reason for some of this. She doesn't throw temper tantrums often but when she does she bangs her head occasionally. Her temper tantrums last less than a min and result in asking for a hug. She doesn't have any other odd behaviors side from not wanting to play with children .
I am well aware of parallel play. The child care center has raised some concerns and yes they worry me . I plan on having her evaluated because she is a little different . Hopefully it's just a hearing issue.
Everything I just read sounds perfectly normal. She sounds like an awesome little girl. The thing I would be concerned about would be her hearing from the ear infections. Could you take her to a specialist?
I am so glad you are having her evaluated. As a former teacher, I have taught many children with hearing issues, who tended to be on the shy side socially. I too would be concerned if she has difficulty answering questions and has had many ear infections. I hope an evaluation at an audiologist who specializes in children's hearing will provide you with the information you need. All my best.
First of all, many toddlers don't play with other toddlers. They play along side of them. They aren't necessarily interacting. My little one used to go to daycare and would play My Little Ponies on her own and another little girl would play them to, but they weren't playing them together. Grabbing hands to hold hands is not something they naturally do either.
A shy child would be far more comfortable with a secure adult - I had one where the teacher had to come and take his hand and lead him into the classroom. He warmed up over time, but was shy. That's not that unusual for toddlers either.
One of mine had chronic ear infections and needed tubes. He had been misdiagnosed. We took him to ENT. That cleared up his speech difficulties and some atypical behavior. Even a small amount of fluid in his ears caused his hearing to be muffled. Over time we realized he had allergies and so a daily allergy medication has helped tremendously (for the fluid in ears).
This is what toddlers do - and it's perfectly normal.
Kids under the age of 4 do something called parallel play - and it's exactly as you described it.
It's typically around the ages of 4 and 5 that kids begin to play cooperatively with each other.
Our son skipped the 'terrible twos' - but made up for it with the 'terrible threes'.
It's not like he had a lot of tantrums - but they want to express themselves more fully than their vocabulary has developed so far and 'using their words' is hard for them.
It gets a LOT better once they are talking better - and it just takes time - and a heap of understanding.
Please read 'What to Expect the Toddler Years' for information about the ages/stages they go through - it will take a load off your mind.
Your daughter sounds like she's doing great!
Additional:
Every kid is different and beautifully unique.
And it's wonderful that they aren't all little cookie cutter exact copies of each other.
I get this feeling like you want to get an autism diagnosis.
I guess if you get one, it's something to work on as early as you can.
If you don't get one - then please believe it.
Celebrate your child either way.
My daughter is now 15, but she has always been a loner. I now realize she is extremely shy and introverted. Just who she is. Toddlers develop at their own pace, but if she's affectionate, smiles, makes eye contact, imitates, speaks, feels compassion, reads... I can't imagine why you would think she has ASD. There's not one thing in your description that is a red flag to me other than your own reaction to her. That's worrisome to me.
Parallel play is the norm with children this age. Engaging with peers isn't. Adults are often easier to interact with, because they can gear the conversation to your daughter. Other kids, her peers, are in their own world and focused on themselves. So, by itself, this doesn't mean anything.
Answering questions wrong might indicate a problem with hearing - ear infections, or auditory processing. Or it might mean she's in her own world. So do go forward with the evaluation on that level.
If her tantrums are so brief and she can work her way out of them on her own, that's awesome! She wants a hug, which may mean she knows she was being unreasonable and just wants reassurance that she's loved even though she was having a hissy fit over something. Be proud of her for that! Head banging is pretty common too - my son did it and he has no processing issues or any type of diagnosis or any type of special needs or behavioral problems. It's typical of kids who just don't have either the vocabulary or the emotional development yet to express frustration about things they don't fully understand.
Try hard not to diagnose ahead of time. I know it's difficult, and I know you want to understand her issues and motivation so you can address them properly. Early intervention does wonderful things in kids who need it!
Please, PLEASE do not worry about this.
I have worked with little ones for a long time and especially toddlers-- yours sounds pretty good. Even the "I like draw"... kids don't always answer the exact questions. It sounds like your kid didn't want to eat, she wanted to draw.
Parallel play is very common up to and through 30 months or more. Some kids take longer to join in playing than others, for their own reasons. Think about it, kids don't usually 'graduate' to preschool until around 3, and 3-4 is when we start seeing more cooperative play take off. So, yes, get the evaluation, but the fact that she has other social skills would suggest to me that this is not an issue of ASD, which very much manifests itself socially. I've had ASD toddlers in my group (I would find out from the parents a couple years later--it's hard to diagnose at 2) and children with developmental disabilities as well-- this doesn't sound like it.
Please research "parallel play" in young children. It is absolutely normal for kids her age to play alongside but not "with" peers. It is normal for young kids to find adults more interesting than peers too, and to prefer adults as playmates for quite a while when kids are this age. I'm surprised that her preschool teachers find anything worth their concern in this; are they trained in childhood development at all? Please look this up yourself so that teachers who don't know what they're talking about don't say things that worry you unnecessarily. I'd consider finding a new preschool if her current teachers expect her to play a lot with peers, or to play in some way that fits their idea of what she "should" be doing.
Is she going to an accredited preschool or a day care center?
The reason I ask is because anyone trained in early childhood education knows that parallel play is perfectly normal at this age, in fact, it's expected.
I worry that her "teachers" may not be trained and are giving you bad advice (not that they are poor caregivers, but maybe they just don't know any better.)
This is also something that you should be talking about with her doctor at her well visits.
The pre-school is probably concerned about her answers. They are NOT concerned about her parallel play. ALL little kids do this. You aren't understanding what the teachers are talking about if you think that she's supposed to play with other children. Of course she's comfortable with adults. She trusts adults and they take care of her. There is NOTHING odd about her not playing WITH other children right now. It's absolutely normal.
Get her hearing evaluated by another doctor. Have a tympanogram done. She could have fluid in her ears and things could sound muffled to her.
IF it's not her hearing, it could be a receptive language issue. DO NOT jump to an ASD diagnosis in your head (and excuse me, but who the heck gave you THAT idea? Are you surfing the net trying to diagnose her? GEEZ LOUISE!) Ask the ped for a referral to a speech/language pathologist for an evaluation of her receptive language skills. She can have wondrful speech, but that's expressive language. If she has some receptive language difficulties, a speech therapist can help a great deal.
Most toddlers have tantrums and perfectly normal kids bang their heads sometimes.
You really need to read about child development. If you don't learn about what children are and aren't expected to do, you aren't going to be fair to this little girl. Ask your ped for information. And LISTEN to your ped...
In normal child development, toddlers are more likely to play next to another kid than interactively with them. Your daughter is behaving normally in this regard. Not an odd behavior at all.
It sounds like she may have a hearing problem, however, and should be taken to an audiologist.
My son did not play with other kids at this age...not much...he would play side by side with them. I think that is normal for many kids until they get a little older. Her temper tantrums sound very short...lucky you! He had very long temper tantrums at this age. Sure, get her tested...but know that kids change and she will most likely outgrow the social issues. She is very young still! Invite over a preschool friend (and her mom) regularly...you moms can have some tea and chat while the the little ones play. Even if she is playing side by side she will have fun and can practice being with her friend.
sounds like the teacher is questioning the responses to questions. and wants that evaluated. nothing in your post says asd to me. maybe hearing or auditory processing issues, but not asd.
It's interesting that your daughter's teacher was the one to bring this issue to your attention. The teacher should know that a typical two year old child mostly parallel plays -- playing next to/around other children without actual interaction. Either she has no clue about child development or she's onto something. My guess, based off how you described your daughter, is she's not on the autism spectrum. Do the evaluation and see what they say.
I'm perpeplexed. She sounds totally normal to me unless you are leaving other stuff out. Not everyone is a social butterfly. My friend's child was still like this in first grade. She preferred to play on the swing set by herself and didn't have a best friend. In some ways she is mature for her age and it was determined she is gifted. She finds many of her peers immature and is lucky enough to enjoy her own company. Seriously, what you are describing does not sound the least bit concerning or alarming.
Parallel play is completely normal at that age.
Google parallel play. It's what she is doing and it's normal!
As a preschooler she will start to develop more play with her peers.
As a toddler she was doing individual play and moved up to parallel play, where she played a similar game or situation beside another child but not "with" them.
She's not a toddler anymore so she should start moving towards actual play with others. If she's still doing parallel play then it's okay. Maybe she's just interested in what she's doing and isn't really ready to play with others yet.
