We live in an apartment and with limited space, we've given my (almost 2 yo) son the "den" and made it his playroom. The second bedroom, or "his" bedroom is sort of decorated for him but has multiple functions: guest bedroom/office. It has a twin size bed and a youth size desk that houses the laptop when not in use and printer. He has a walk-in closet for storage of his clothes and things and since we can't afford to replace our own bedroom set we had to sell for moving expenses (we just have a mattress and bedframe in our room) we use the drawers in the dresser in his room for our folded clothes. The twin bed is a new addition and we got it while my mom was here visiting. He was in a toddler bed--when he would actually sleep in his room...but I am contemplating just moving him to the twin bed.
The more I look around the less toddlerish his "bedroom" looks and you might think we have a preteen living here. I am feeling pretty guilty for not giving him a more age appropriate room and I am worried that I am not protecting "his space" enough. The situation we are in is kind of temporary--we'd like to move in 4-5 months but we don't have any solid plans so I'd like to push forward in pulling our home together in a way that is transferable to a new home as well but I am wondering if I should sell the awesome bedroom set I got on CL and get a more age appropriate set for him or a bedroom set for ourselves and start over in his room...
I don't know, though. What do you think? Should I feel guilty? Does your toddler have his/her own room decorated specifically for him/her?
Thanks so much for the responses! I should have mentioned that his room is totally toddler-proofed. There is a cutout in the desk for the cords and no access to the electrical outlets. the laptop generally floats around the apartment and is plugged in during the day when he's not in the room. I appreciate those of you who made mention of that hazard, though. You're completely right.
We set up the den as his playroom because he has a train table and a slide and a basketball hoop and he often refused to go to sleep in his bedroom with all his toys around. He's a really bad sleeper anyways, and he'd often wake up and go down the slide or shoot a few hoops in the middle of the night. Too many meltdowns in the middle of the night crying for his BALL forced our hand into giving him another room for toys--plus, living in the midwest we are indoors ALOT and so we have a few bigger items in the home that I don't want in the livingroom.
I think you are right that he won't remember or care that he didn't have a tricked-out nursery. I do want to move towards him having his own specific designated space soon, but I appreciate all of the support for what we are doing for the time being. The sacrifices we make now means he will have to sacrifice fewer things in the future. <3
No, not at all. He has a safe, warm and happy home with two people who love him. Toddlers don't care about decor.
Two loving parents providing cozy room, home and love-guilty? No-proud came to mind, though! That's it-you should feel proud.
No guilt.. He will be fine.. As long as he has is own bed and knows he has a place for his things he will be fine..
At that age, they don't really care. The beautiful nurseries and brightly painted toddler rooms are all for our benefit. :) At his age, he'll be happy just having a safe, cuddly bed.
We had a special room decorated for both of my boys when they were small (they each had their own room). But then we found out our oldest daughter was on the way so we moved them in together (and had to box a lot of the stuff because there just wasn't room in one room for it all) and they didn't notice the lack of alphabet posters, dancing clowns, etc. They were just upset they had to share a bed! LOL
My youngest daughter didn't even sleep in her own bed until she was well past three. We didn't plan on it but it happened. And then one day she announced she was moving in with her sister and that was that. My daughters (4 & 6) sort of have their own room (so ladybug curtains & bedding, etc.) but we do have shelves running around the room near the ceiling for many of our books (out of their reach). And we don't use their closet for clothing since it's storage. My kids just don't spend a lot of time in their rooms. The bed rooms are mainly for sleeping. They have no toys in there. What toys they do have is all in the front room and they stay there. If the kids go back to their rooms during the day, it's for quiet time and then they'll mainly read if they don't take a nap.
He doesn't have a clue and doesn't care. As long as the room is toddler safe, you're good to go. Don't feel guilty. Heck, Watching little house on the prairie, there were 3-4 kids to a room and it wasn't decorated. We expect our kiddos to care about things that don't matter. All he wants from you is love and attention. When he's older, he'll care about his room (maybe not even then LOL) :)
Get that Rockwellian ideal out of your mind. Very few people have the "ideal" set up, and even if they do, that's no guarantee that the child is in a positive, loving environment!
Love is the most important thing in any home! Sounds like he's got that. :)
DO NOT feel guilty. My kids who had decorated rooms don't even remember the carefully thought out theme and work I put into it especially at that age.
Is he fed? Do you read to him? Take him to the park? Clothe him appropriate to the weather? Tell him you love him? If the answer is yes (which I am sure it is) then you are wonderful parent who should not suffer from guilt over a bedroom.
At two not sure he'd really notice much.. Only concern was child appropriate things in the room. Choking hazards etc. When he hits 4 or 5 you really want to make sure he has his own space.
make the den into your office and using the twin bed and his toys make him his own room. you don't have to make a room look like sesame street to look toddlerish but you can get brightly colored curtains and bedding. some bins for his toys and thats it. he should not have computer/s tv/s or anything else with wires hanging in his room. children die every day from being shocked, and or strangled from cords. so get those things out of his room. its good that your giving this thoughts now and not waiting till you have a problem. and waiting for a new home is not good as sometimes those plans get put on hold over and over and over.
I'm unable to buzz thru all of the comments right now - but want to comment. Certainly every kid needs his/her own 'space' - but it doesn't have to be a dec'd out bedroom. I think we as parents love that concept more than they even have a clue. If he knows where he sleeps, (could be a crib in the corner of your room) and where his toys are (could be in a closet) AND has a positive, safe environment - he's good to go. And even if moving doesn't provide him with more personal space - he still has those basic needs met. I love the idea of providing special bedding or some wall stick-ee's that personalize his immediate area. My girls shared a space that also doubled as storage. My son had his own room with LOTS of toys and organizers ... but much of his was accumulated before they were born. We were running on 'go' once the first girl was born... moved, changed jobs, etc - and with our last - we just pushed things around and created space. Our dining room became the playroom - with the table stowed behind our bed and our kitchen had to be 'eat-in' to accommodate all of the kids' things. And it worked for us. What works for you is a-ok !! One day, he'll have his own space - even if it shares space with other things.... Gosh, I remember visiting a friend on their family farm when I was a kid (many, many years ago !!). Her bedroom LITERALLY was down the cellar stairs. She'd painted the concrete walls... sort of a dirty white-washed look ... and her twin bed was ALL that fit. Sort of a leap from the bottom step onto the bed. No floor space. She loved it. (weird). And several years later, I visited her (now married with two children of her own, having inherited the farmhouse) - and her son slept in the same place !! I know! Weird. But it's in the eyes of us as parents, first. What works for us at the time - provided it's safe and positive.
... I just remembered this, also - our son had a toy organizer in our entry, had an art cupboard in our kitchen and a ball pit in the living room. :)
Don't worry about it. He's safe, loved and his needs are being met, that's all he needs.
Get him a neutral based sheet/comforter set. Make it a 'toddler' room with the accessories, pictures and blankets. The stuff that is less expensive to change out as he gets older/changes likes and dislikes.
Example: My son (almost 10y) has white/blue sheets. A blue comforter. When he was younger (6y) he had Spiderman drapes. Now he has some blue stripes that he picked out.
M.
don't feel guilty. As long as he is able to have a place to sleep peacefully, he won't care. just make sure everything is toddler proof (esp that laptop and computer equipment). I recently spent a lot of time redoing my daughter's "big girl" room, and although she loves it, you know what, she prefers sleeping in her brother's room. at that age they really don't need a room decorated specifically for them.
Don't feel guilty.
Its fine.
He's young.
Just make sure it is safe and not dangerous for him. With all that stuff around.
And don't use it as a 'storage' for everything.
It is only temporary.
Not that you need any more answers, but I thought I'd share anyway.
My two boys don't have their own rooms either. We live in a small 2 bedroom apartment (temporary until my husband finds a long-term position). My husband and my oldest (4 yo) sleep in the master bedroom and me and our youngest (2 yo) sleep in the next bedroom. We thought of combining the boys in their own room, but they would wake each other up too much. They have a section of our living room for toys, but there is no bedroom decorated just for them. Eventually we'll get that, but I see no need to do that when they are so young. Their need to be with us is greater than their need to be alone, at least at this point in their lives.
In fact, my 4 yo will show off his bedroom to guests. He'll take them by the hand and walk them to the room, talk about his blankets, and how big the bed is. He loves to tell people he sleeps with his daddy. He has all he needs right now in his life...closeness with us.
So don't fret...you're giving your son what he really needs at this point: love, attention, safe places to play, etc.
jessica, don't feel guilty. there are SO many more important things. you are giving him a loving, stable home. that's most important. kids don't care about that kind of stuff. it's what he knows, so he's happy.
i am a little confused though, you say the den is his playroom - so it sounds to me like he actually kinda has a room and a half? definitely something to work with! i bet with a little rearranging, if you really wanted to, you could give him a cute room. no kid needs more than a room, bed, dresser, and a few toys. if he has too many toys to fit a bed or dresser in there maybe consider getting rid of some - less to move later! just a thought. but DON'T feel guilty. i am sure he's fine!
I wouldn't worry that much, especially if you are moving in the next year. If you put him in the twin bed then get him some kid themed bedding. I had both of my kids in my bedroom in a crib past age 2. Really the only thing I would be worried about in your situation is the toddler and the laptop in the same room. When my oldest was a toddler he pulled the keys off the keyboard and wrecked the laptop we had. We now have a desktop in a cabinet that can be closed and child locked.
At the moment my 26 month old is still in a crib in our room. We have 2 kids and are in a two bedroom apartment. When we put the little one in a bed she will have to share a room with her 5 year old brother. Obviously with a boy and a girl we will have to move and put them in separate rooms within a few years.
Honestly, a bed or crib is a necessity a room to himself is a luxury. When I did social work I met some families that all shared one bedroom even with kids older than toddlers.
well it sounds to me if you clean up an organize his toys an clothes-he has plenty of space.hes only 2 not 12 huge difference.he could care less as long as he has a roof over his head,food in his belly an most of all the love an warmth of both his parents.
I wouldn't feel guilty! Toddlers don't spend that much time awake in their room. I'm sure he's in the den playing the majority of his time! Once you move, you can decorate!
My 13 m. old is in a nursery decorated room, my 3 y. old is in a sports themed room with 2 twin beds. He went straight from a crib to a twin.
I wouldn't feel guilty about it. Little boys at that age could care less. He'll probably be needing that bedroom set soon enough since kids grow up fast. When I was his age I was sharing what was obviously a teen's room with toddler stuff thrown in with a sister who's ten years older than me. That is, until our older sister moved into the addition and I took her room.
I know I am late posting, but I just wanted to say don't feel guilty! I think if you really sit down and look at different rooms and think you could come up with something that works for you. We lived in a small 2 bedroom (1200 sq. ft.) apartment for about a year and a half. By the time we moved we had 3 kids. They all shared (and still share as we are in a "transitioning" stage right now) a room. It was/is not decorated specifically for them as we have 2 boys and a girl. We got the 2 oldest their own bedding (little mermaid and wall-e) and that is good enough. The youngest just started sharing a bed with his brother in the last couple weeks. And I wouldn't worry about an "age appropriate" set. All of my kids transitioned from a crib to a twin or daybed. When we lived at the apartment we had a bunkbed for the 2 oldest to save space and they still have one they sleep in. Keep the set you have and sit down and think about what else you can do for space.
