Toddler Cannot Make up Her Mind!

You should give no more than 2 choices and then give her til the count of 3 to make a choice. Tell her if she can't decide by the count of 3, you'll choose for her. Once she chooses (or you choose), she has to stick to the choice that was made. She'll get upset at first but she'll catch on pretty quickly.

UPDATE: My 2 year old has been doing the same thing and its getting out of hand. I just realized that as I was responding to you, I need to do the same with my son =p

I am not sure how to answer this question. I thought everyone knew that was part and parcel to owning a toddler.

Toddlers get mad at their own limitations, it only looks like they are mad at us.

Oh my gosh, my 2 year old did that for about about year! I will say though, your child is a little young to be making certain choices.

We just put the item away, made him sit in time out for a minute or two. If he was calm, we would give it back, if not, he didn't get it.

It's just the kids testing the independence. Perhaps some advice here will help!
http://askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

Oh, she has her mind made up. She wants Mommy to do a show for her.

I am sure she is a sweet girl, but she is testing your resolve and your willingness to give in ter her. She is also probably at a stage where she is aftraid of making the wrong choice and missing out. And she just wants some control over herself. Totally normal.

However, it's your job to teach her patience in herself and you. So don't give into her. I am not saying be unreasonably strict. Yes, she is allowed to change her mind, but she can't have a tantrum if you aren't able to fix it just so.

At this age it is best to let her do for herself. Pack a box of acceptable snacks in the pantry or fridge, and let her get her own. But once she opens a package or the fruit is sliced, there is no going back. Make that clear. There is always a point of no return. Same with shoes, socks and underwear, let her pick whatever she wants, but again, no getting undressed after you get downstairs.

Pick your battles, let her make most decisions, but be firm about the decisions you have to make.

It will evolve and not always be quite like this. But you do probably have a good couple of years of this in one version or another. It isn't the mind-changing that is really the problem. It is her emotional reactions to not always getting her way. Let her change her mind as much as she wants. Don't let her throw a fit if she can't change her mind.

It will get better around 2. The terrible 2s really start around 16 months.

Sounds like a power struggle and her figuring out how much control she has over you. If I were you, when she started throwing a tantrum when you give her what she wants, I would take it back and walk away. Just like with any other tantrum, don't give her any attention, just walk away. She'll catch on.

Both my kids went through this and it is very frustrating! However it is very normal. They don't always know what they want but sometimes they just change their mind constantly. I found that if you stay calm and just put the toy, plate of food etc. slightly out of the way but directly where they can see it and get to it and then just walk away - they eventually decide whether they want it or not. Really it's just learning about their own empowerment. By the way, I have found this to work with older children (3,4,5) when they don't want to eat. Instead of pleading or arguing with them (staying engaged in the drama ) I just say I have to go to the bathroom or something and don't come back for awhile. I'd say about 75% of the time when I do come back they are eating. They have to be alone to be able to decide what they are going to do.If not, when a reasonable amount of time has passed to eat dinner, I just clear the table. Good luck!

you know, i know they always say to offer choices, honestly, this did not work with my son. even now, at 5, if he doesn't want to get dressed for school, no amount of "this shirt, that shirt?" will help. he just says he wants neither. but then he's a boy and has never cared about clothes. i agree with offering a choice, IF it works. if she asks for something and then says no, put it away - no changing her mind. she will have her tantrums and she will escalate them thinking that might do the trick...don't give in. if she asks for something, she's allowed to change her mind - she is NOT allowed to play you for a fool. good luck!

My grandson went through this and to some degree, still does. It got really bad for about a month. Then I decided that I had to start making the choices and not giving any choices. I had to be pretty stern for awhile. Now he's a couple months older, becoming more verbal everyday and doing a little better. But he still does this some each day. He just doesn't melt down over it.

Take the time ask her is she really wants it. sounds like she is trying to in control. Most toddlers do at that age....they do what they see.

What this is about is that children do not do well with choices, it puts them in stress and strife. Young children and toddlers were never meant to make choices they have parents for that. Our society believes this teaches them how to make decisions but it actually makes them self-centered in the big picture and unable to make concise and rational decisions. This is part of the reasons for so many problems with our society. She's letting you know she wants you to take control, it's much to confusing for her.

Saying this in the light of it all.

Typcial toddler. Just try to remain calm, and let her scream and tantrum. Give it no attention. and breathe....

It's very possible that it could be a power game. And you don't have to play. When she starts screaming, walk away. It's not nearly as much fun to scream when you don't have an audience to watch and listen.

One of my granddaughters had a screaming phase when she was learning to talk but just wasn't articulate enough to make herself understood. Once her speech improved, the drama stopped. But she was a little older (a bit over two), and a tantrum is a tantrum - and unacceptable - no matter the cause.

Jo W. is right on the money in saying that toddlers get mad at their own limitations.

You'll have to be patient (and perhaps wear ear plugs) for a little while longer until she drops the drama... and starts doing something else.

She's 19 months old. She doesn't know what she wants.
She obviously thinks she wants something and then doesn't.
Sometimes, choices for kids backfires.
Do you want it or don't you?
They don't know.
Do you want apple or grape juice?
They don't know.

I mean no offense, but we don't have to give our kids something everytime they ask for it.
If it's time for her to have a snack or juice, just give her something.
If she doesn't want it, put it away until later.
If she wants a toy, put it on the floor and let her get it herself. Or not.
You'll make yourself crazy trying to cater to her and she doesn't seem to like it anyway.
She's only a year and a half old.
Stepping back instead of offering right away will take some practice.

Just my opinion.