I am a stay at home mother to a 15 month old little boy. I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and worried about how my son will react to his new baby brother. I took him to visit a friend of mine who just had a baby a few weeks ago and he reacted very badly. He did not like me holding the baby at all. I am running out of time, and I don't know how to prepare him for a new baby. He is use to being the center of my world, and I'm worried he will feel neglected and act out when the baby comes. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
My little girl was the same way. At first she didn't like it. But soon she was in the middle of everthing helping out. So don't worry to much.
hey N.,
Have you thought of buying him a boy baby doll? I did that with my kids and it worked great.(of course the one I bought was a cabbage patch kid with overalls and a ball cap) But I would show my son how to hold the baby, and I would put him on my lap and the baby on the other side of my lap and watch a favorite show. Then i would say "ok it's time for mommy to change the baby do you want to come help?" he would hand me a diaper and the powder. Just getting him involved with helping with things for the baby will make him feel special and he will not feel like he has been left out.
PS Make sure that you talk to your family about this as well...when the new baby comes along they will all be wanting to hold the new baby and you may see him get a little jealous of this but if you remind the family that your son is gonna need just as much attention it will help.
I hope this helps and congratulations on the new addition to the family.
B.
I had all 3 of my kids very close together they are all 12 months apart and I was worried when I get pregnant with my 2nd child that my daughter would feel left out. But absolutely not I included her in everything...from helping with bath time, to holding the baby and setting on my other leg when I was holding the baby. And of course I had a baby swing so I would everyday put the baby in the swing for at least 30 mins. to give my daughter her own attention. They adjust and if you include him and show him he can help he will be just fine.
Hi there. Congratulations. I read several books / articles about this because I have a step-son (5 at her birth) that not only was going to be a big brother bur we only have him every other weekend and it was going to be a bit touchy because his dad's time had to be shared. Ask him to do little things once your 2nd child is born (can you get me a pacifier; can you rub a little lotion on the baby's leg; would you mind picking something out for him/her to wear). This is supposed to make the child feel as if they are helping mom take care of the baby and somewhat eases them into sharing mom's time. Also, I would set aside maybe 30 min a day (or more if you have the time) to spend with your son - some mommy time and hopefully that will help. I'm sure there will be some jealousy regardless but maybe it will ease it a little. I'm sure you and your son will do fine. Just remember, he's had your attention - full attention for 15 months and now he has to share your time, love, hugs, kisses, etc and at that young age, he's not really going to fully understand. It was an adjustment for us and still is to some degree, but he's great with her and loves her tremendously and is a HUGE help to me most of the time with her.
There are several good books out there that you could to read to him to help him prepare for the new sibling. At his age, I'm not sure how much he can help you out, but to help him feel at ease, let him "help" out with the baby as much as possible and don't forget to create a mommy and "me" time, where dad wathces the baby and you and him go the playground or whatever the special things are that you two do.
Good Luck,
J.
My son is older, but we got him doll of his own to play with while I have been pregnant. He really hasn't shown much opposition to the idea, although he did tell me he wanted a boy not a girl. Take some time in the next few weeks to give him some time with his dad and him. You step back and don't do everything for him. That was the hardest thing that I had to grasp. I have wanted to be at everything that he did, experience all of his experiences and be his rock. Lately I have realized I have to step back and let others help out. I know you don't have much time left, but it is worth a try.
This is a situation you should not let the oldest control. You are in control and should SHOW the older brother/sister how to act. You tell them to be gentle and to love and what not to do. They look to you for guidance and the action of being defiant is human nature and actually a cry for help or a sign of confusion. You are the boss! Make sure they know this is their blood and they are to protect them.
When I had my second one, we made a big production out of my 19-month-old becoming the big brother. We would tell him all the things he would get to help us do because he was going to be the big boy of the house. Get him to help you with anything little thing he can and make him feel so appreciated that he will be jumping at every little opportunity to do anything. He always loved throwing the diapers away, or looking for a binky or putting the bottle in the sink. He loves feeling so important!!
Well I dunno which town you are in but at our hospital in Dyersburg they have the birthing classes and one class you can take your other children to is a sibling class. You should call your hospital where you are scheduled to deliver and see if they offer classes like these.
We used the Berenstain's book "The New Baby" to introduce our DD to our DS. It was also helpful that one of my girl-friends "kidnapped" DS for playdates with her son. That gave me a break of caring for two and allowed my DS to have fun. And when DH was home he took care of DD and I played with DS.
Don't forget, at that age they'll start wanting to help so have him bring diapers, powder, etc. - Good luck!
