Hi Moms,
My 19-month old son used to love being taken out of the house. He would happily go just about anywhere: restaurants, stores, baby-oriented programs, etc. In the last 4-5 months, whenever I take him out anywhere, inevitably he starts saying, "home, home" and eventually he starts shouting to go home. This happens even at places he used to love, like the playground or his music program. At first, it was just a once-in-a-while, on-a-bad-day kind of issue, but it seemd to be getting worse. Now, as soon as he gets in the car seat, he starts wailing to go home. He is an only child and seems to be very social with adults; he loves when we have friends over and is very disappointed when they leave. But if we go to those same friends' homes, he begs to go home. I can't figure out the cause of the behavior, or what to do about it. Any advice/insight would be so much appreciated!
Thanks.
A.,
I think when your about to leave your house, you tell him where your going and that you all will be home as soon as the event is over. Let him bring his favorite toy or blanket with him. Just reassure him each time you leave your home.
good luck!!!
D.!
My son does this. When he was younger, I could spend hours in TJ MAXX looking for the perfect jeans, but once he got to about 15 months, he would figure out where the registers were and he would make a dash for them. He likes to be at home with his toys and in his own environment. His dad is a homebody also, so maybe he wants to be where daddy is. On the weekends he wakes up between 7:30/8:00, so I take him out early and try and be home by 1, 2pm the latest. This has been working well for us. My son is an only child so he probably figures, why should I have to be surrounded by all this noise, crying babies, bells dinging, etc., etc., etc., when I could be at home with mom and dad listening to Nina Simone.
Good luck.
My son was exactly like this at just about the same age. He is now almost 5 and loves going places. He has always had a very cautious personality and is never quick to jump into a new setting, but he loves going new places and observing new things. He still does not like large groups of children, but that has improved, too, since he started school two months ago.
My daughter, who is 2.5, has the exact opposite personality - and she, too, has been asking to stay home since about 18 - 20 months old. She sounds like your son and her own brother - crying to come home as soon as we get somewhere, or even before we leave our house.
My children have such different personalities, yet they went through the same aversion to out-of-home events at about the same age. I just assumed there is something about the age where the outside world poses too many choices and details and it's less stressful in the child's eyes to stay at home. Because my son is Mr. Conservative and even he has outgrown his reluctance to "be social" I feel pretty confident that my daughter - and your son! - will outgrow it, too. Just be patient and sympathetic; he might have worries that he can't articulate. Maybe ask the pediatrician about typical development at this age? You certainly aren't alone with this question and I'm convinced it's a normal part of development.
Keep me posted and feel free to vent - I know it can be frustrating from the mom's point of view, especially since you probably need way more out-of-home time than your son does at this point! Good luck; have patience!
The big wide world is scary now that he realizes he is separate from you. That could be all. My daughter was the same and actually trembled when in crowds that she used to love as a little one. She is highly sensitive and this book
http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Ove... helped me a lot to understand her. She was fine in a stroller under the hood and in my arms or a sling, but alone toddling along she kept wanting to "go home". She would come out of her shell at the end of birthday parties when she had observed everything was safe and most kids had left, at the end of play dates, so I had a crying kid at the beginning and end of every event because then she would not want to leave. Read some excerpts of the book and see it it described your child since sensitivity is obvious from birth. Good luck.
