To Test or Not to Test???

Updated on June 19, 2008
K.T. asks from Johnson City, NY
28 answers

Hi all,
my request is a little strange i guess but here it is, I feel and somehow know im pregnant. I want to take a test-it is still early but well within the testing time. my only delima is, I have miscarried twice, and i dont know if i can handle knowing im pregnant again if we lose this pregnancy too. but i want to know, and i dont want to know.
what im looking for is what would you do??? would you test and find out or would you wait and worry????

any advice is welcomed.
thanks K.

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C.V.

answers from Albany on

Hi K.... I also have misscarried and I had an ectopic pregnancy.. I had a real suspision as well that I was pregnant this time and everyone told me ot wait but I knew I needed to know to easy my mind.. I also knew that anything could happen. I am now 6 months pregnant and conceived in the same month this year that I misscarried in last year. I hope all works out for you. I am here to talk to if you need it. Its up to you whether to test but it might make you feel better to know!

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D.C.

answers from New York on

I would take the test. It been said the raspberry leaf tea helps strengthen a women's reproductive organs. Good luck. Denise

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S.R.

answers from New York on

I would take the test. The pregnancy test at the doctor's office is no more sensative than the over the counter ones, so if you're trying to test early and you get a false negative at the doctor's office you might be less inclined to test again later.

Also, if you are pregnant and you lose this pregnancy as well, it should be tested for genetic abnormalities just to rule out any other underlying issues. 30% of miscarraiges are not due to genetic problems with the fetus but something medically wrong with the mother which is almost always treatable. (statistic from Parenting magazine's May2008 issue)

Good luck! :)

More Answers

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A.B.

answers from New York on

K.,
You need to know you are pregnant and you need a doctor who specializes in problem pregnancies. I saw Sami David, MD in Manhattan and he works a lot with fertility issues especially miscarriage. I lost my first, had spotting with the 2nd and I have a son with his help. ###-###-####.
There is no use just worrying--be proactive and take control.
It will be better for you and the baby.
A.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

Better to test and get your Dr involved as early as possible.

Good luck

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J.D.

answers from New York on

K., if you know in your own heart that you are pregnant, a miscarriage will still be painful. It will still be a loss, because that baby exists in your mind and heart.

Go to the Dr. Let him do the testing, and see if there is any way that they can help you to carry all the way.

Best of luck to you.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Whether you test or not, treat your body as if you are pregnant until you verify this. Take prenatal vitamins, no drinking, etc.

Just because you have miscarried doesn't mean you will again. When I had a miscarriage, my dr said one in four pregnancies end that way. Unless you have been told you have a condition that makes you more susceptible, don't worry.

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S.S.

answers from Binghamton on

Personally I would take the test, but then I am the kind of person who always needs to know. I would not be able to stand the suspense.

But that aside, I am really writing to give you a few comforting words: I have had a total of 5 miscarriages and still have two healty, gorgeous girls. So even if it does not work out this time, take heart. You are not alone and many of us have enjoyed very happy endings.

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R.T.

answers from Syracuse on

HI K.

If you have had several miscarriages, has your doctor tested you for the cause of this? I went through a number of years of fertility tests and had two confirmed miscarriages. My doctor had told me that many women think they're only 'late' when they actually are pregnant but the embryo doesn't implant properly. That's why I say confirmed.

When I was seeing the fertility specialist, once I had a positive home test, he ordered blood tests at regular intervals to see that the hormone levels were increasing appropriately. Then the next step was an early ultrasound to see where the embryo was implanted to make sure it wasn't settled in my tubes.

I always tested because of that factor. If indeed you are pregnant you can get in to your doctor quickly and explain that you've had several other miscarriages. That way if something is going on, the doctor can start figuring out what it is and get you on the right track.

Good luck!
R.

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A.G.

answers from New York on

TEST! I have had 1 miscarriage also and I would test if I though I was pregnant. I recently read a post that said the woman found out her hormones were mixed up and had she found that out and started on the right hormone she may have been able to save the pregnancy. When she got pregnant the next time the Dr. found the same problem and she now has a healthy baby. Not testing won't make things easier but give yu a what if thought all the time. GOD BLESS! A.

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M.B.

answers from Syracuse on

Hi K.,
I have been in your shoes, miscarriages and all. And I do suggest you test. I would ask my OB/Gyn to do blood work. then there is no guess work. That is how I handled both my pregnancies and for the one's I lost I did not test early.
M.

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A.H.

answers from New York on

Take the test! Fear is no reason not to do something you know you want to do !! And GOOD LUCK!!!!

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C.B.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
Worrying doesn't get you anywhere!
So go and do the test, so you can take better care of yourself and the unborn.
You might want to go: http://C..healthyhometour.com

This might give you a clue about alot of your questions.

All the best.

C.

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C.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi K.,

I would test yourself just so you know. I know it would be constantly on my mind if it was me. I know how you feel though. I have 4 children -8,7,3 and 1. I miscarried in between my 2nd and 3rd child and I remember being scared the next time I got pregnant. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope this helps in some small way :-)

Take care,
C.

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A.D.

answers from Kansas City on

I've never been in your shoes, but I can only imagine how it would feel. I think I would need to know. I don't think I'd be able to sit still long enough to write a computer post before I'd be out the door to get a test. You are going to worry either way...Hugs to you and best of luck.

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M.K.

answers from New York on

test

you'll wory either way at least if you know you can be proactive, healthwise and precautionary

Good luck

M

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi K.,
Yes, if you're at the point where you've skipped your period, if it were me I would test. First, if you have a history of miscarriage, I'd want to be under a doctor's care a.s.a.p, and if you should miscarry again, multiple miscarriages could indicate some medical issue that should be looked into by a doctor. And if you don't know for sure that you're pregnant, and think you may have miscarried, you'll always wonder and that's not necessarily easier emotionally.

Good luck

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E.G.

answers from New York on

I think you already do know, a mothers intuition is usually correct. I would try to relax and not take the test. Let your body do it's work and enjoy what you feel. When the time is right, you will have your answer.

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A.T.

answers from New York on

So.....you'd rather not know if you are? Do you think that's a good idea, especially if you've miscarried before. It's always best to know no matter what. Have a little bit of faith. Perhaps the sooner you know, the better you will be equipped to handle the situation. Take better care of yourself, bed rest,or whatever else you may need to do. Take the test. Good luck.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

I would absolutely test. I am a mother of 1. Prior to having my dtr I had 1 tubal & 2 misacriages. After my dtr I had 2 misses and every time I needed to know. Yes it hurt when I lost them but it was great when I didn't & had my dtr. I was nervous and constantly looked for signs of bleeding but that passed. We were always cautiously optomistic. TEST!!!!

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L.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I would test, and see your OB right away if you are pregnant. They can check your hormone levels and give you the proper supplements if you are suffering miscarriages due to low hormone levels.

Praying for a good outcome for you and your family!

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E.E.

answers from New York on

Take the test because you will worry either way, and if you are positive, at least your doctor can be there for you and help give your baby the best possible chance. For now, just assume that you might be and eat healthy, avoid anything bad for the baby and take your vitamins. Good luck! I feel for you!

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A.P.

answers from New York on

This is a hard one. Personally I would want to know if I miscarried or not so that I could mourn the lose of that life. Whether your child dies a few weeks old in-utero or in old age once he's born, that soul still deserves to be mourned. I've never been in your situation, and I pray that I don't ever have to be. But if I were, that's what I'd do. I pray that all goes well.

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J.F.

answers from Buffalo on

I agree with a lot of the previous posts, it's probably better to know... emotionally i know its not that easy.
i've never miscarried (i know many women who have), but we've been trying to conceive for close to 2 years now... i used to test every month as soon as i possibly could, i just couldn't wait to find out, i invented all those pregnancy signs in my head thinking i just have to be pregnant this month, but after maybe the first 10-12 months i just couldn't take the disappointment anymore... now i never test, just wait for that darn "aunt flo" to show...
but in your case i think if you really feel that pregnant, its important you know as soon as you can just to be able to get the medical help you may need. and i think that if you were to (God forbid) lose this baby as well - if it were me i'd want to know rather that always wonder... but you know yourself best!! good luck!!! prayers for a happy and healthy 9 months!! :)

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C.H.

answers from New York on

You may think you are because you want to be.. so take the test .. they are inexpensive and it cant hurt .. seems that you would worry either way.

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R.C.

answers from New York on

I tend to think what you really need to do for yourself is learn how to relax and not worry so much...what will be will be...

Join a Yoga class, or buy some relaxation tapes...or learn how to meditate... Get involved in being good to yourself.

Every thing we experience in life has a positive and negative side to it. We can choose to think either way. When we think positive we bring positive energy around our selves and when we think negative, we surround ourselves with negative energy... My question to you is why have you chosen to think negatively?

....yes, take a test and find out if you are pregnant. Surround yourself with beautiful positive thoughts....and give yourself a hug.

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A.H.

answers from New York on

Hi K.
I guess it's easy for me to say, but if I were you I would take it. The earlier you know, the better off you will be - maybe just avoid the test altogether and go to the doctor - not only can they let you know on the spot, but they can also counsel you immediately on things you can do to try to take it easy, etc, since it appears this would be somewhat high-risk
Take care
A.

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S.V.

answers from Syracuse on

I would take the test. I would want to know if Iam pregnant or not, that way maybe if I am doing things that I shouldn't then I would know to stop. If you haven't been tested yet for certain test when your pregnant I would get tested. Chorosome testing, blood clotting, etc. I have gone through this 12 times out of the 12 times I have four health beautiful boys. I found out that I have tri-13 which is where one of my chorosomes over lap another one. I also have a blood clotting disorder when I get pregnant. So it might not be one reason but a few mixed. At least you would know what you are up against.

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