To Sleep Together or Not to Sleep Together?

No experience, so no advice, just a bit of a laugh -

I'm SOOOOO glad this post was about kids rooms and sleeping arrangements and NOT what I originally thought it would be from the headline! =D

You got the room -- give them each a room. You can worry about toys later. How many times do you really have guests? That a room could also double as a den or office.

I dated a guy once that had a sibling 4 years younger and they shared a room until the parents couldn't stand the fighting and completed the attic to give them each their own space. They hated each other.

So let them start out with their own identity in their own rooms and may be if they are the same sex they might like to share but don't count on it. What do you do when you share a room and have friends over? Can't go anywhere to talk and play music or just laugh. Think about that. So why have all the bedrooms and then not work?

The other S.

Considering it is joined by a Jack and Jill I think letting them have their own rooms would be the best of both worlds. It is kind of like they have one big room anyway but at least you wouldn't have to deal with the occasional lines in the sand when they need some time alone.

Yeah.... I thougth this was a different kind of post too.... :-)

Having said that.... I shared a room with my sister who is 2 years younger than me and I HATED it. It was just another example of how after she came along I had NOTHING to myself anymore.

Part of that, though.... is how you manage your kids. My mom made me take her EVERYWHERE - friends houses, playdates, ballet etc. My mom laughed when she copied EVERYTHING I did (even ordering at a restaurant). I had NOTHING that was just mine.

If you let your kids be different people, then they might enjoy sharing a room. I just wanted her to leave me alone for just a second. At one point I duck taped an area around my bed which was the 'sister free zone'. My mom even ripped the tape up. ugggggh.

I've just had flashbacks.

As a child I shared a room with my sibling. And we had a playroom.
I HATED it.
It did NOT NOT NOT make us "bond" better. At all.
It was horrible. My sibling was very overbearing and we were totally different personalities.
No amount of sharing a room, would make it better.

If a child can have their own room, then let them have their own room.

How a child "bonds" with their sibling or not... has NOTHING to do, with whether or not they have a playroom and/or share a room together.
That is not the deciding factor and not the factor in it, at all.
It will not "make" siblings bond or get along or not.

You have FOUR bedrooms. I say, let each child have their own room.

And, an elder sibling, should not be responsible for a baby sibling... nor have to babysit a younger sibling, just because they are sharing a room.
The parent still has to, play referee and get the child or the baby to bed and wake and feed it during the night.
Sharing a room, will not magically make it 2 children suddenly sleep all quiet and better and a baby will still wake.

And besides, WHY on earth is a playroom, more important than the children having their own privacy and space to grow up in, in their own, bedroom?
Having a playroom or not, is not a magical solution.

I don't think its a necessity to put them together right away. You can do it later.

My girls are 6 and 4 and started sharing a room just about a year ago. Not sure how long it will last as we have a 3 bedroom house, but they seem to enjoy it right now.

I think if a bond is to be made, it will be made. I don't think sleeping in the same room is imperative.

The best advice I got when I was pregnant the first time was to put the baby to bed awake and keep them in their own crib, in their own room. I did this and never had any problems. Both my kids have always slept in their own rooms and are great sleepers. From the first week they came home they slept 12 hours straight thru. I don't feel like I'm not bonded with them or they are not as close to me as moms who co-slept. I was able to get sleep and they did also. Just my opinion but look at all the posts from the moms begging for help to get their kids out of their beds! =) Good luck!!!

What about using the guest room as your nursery for the first year or two? Then, move your younger child into the child's bedroom and let them share the play room? Another option would be to make the guest room your playroom until the kids "outgrow" it. Let each have their own rooms with the adjoining bathroom.

I feel blessed that I never had to share a room with my sisters ... I could not imagine not having my own space. I know they are young but they will have VERY different needs and the older one does not need to wake up with you and the new baby every few hours.

id put the baby in the spare bedroom for a while ONLY BECAUSE the big sister will have a big change to having a new baby and giving up her play room all at once, i think when he baby is sleeping through the night or in a toddler bed put the baby in the toy room but im not a fan of kids sharing rooms they need their own space to call their own and to get away from siblings

You DO NOT want to have to deal with 2 kids waking up every 3 hours. Don't do that to your daughter, it's just mean! Bad enough you and hubbys sleep will be disrupted for who knows how long, disrupting her will NOT make things easier on you plus you don't want to start off with possibly having to deal with jealousy issues for sister having to share her space. Stick with separate rooms until they are old enough to decide to want to sleep together.

My second was in my room for a few months. Probably until about 7 months.Then they have been together ever since. We are moving into a new house and they could each have their own rooms. However they will stay together so that they can have a toy room. It really is nice to be able to have a toy room and no toys allowed in their bedroom except maybe a few stuffed animals. My girls are 6.5 and 4. It will probably be a few years before we separate them. I did not have my own room until I was 17. Its not that big of a deal for kids to share rooms.

My brother and I are 22 months apart and we shared a room until I was 10 and getting into puberty. It was perfect. It taught us how to share, compromise, work together as a team, etc. This has made us both extremely successful in personal relationships and in business relationships. My brother's wife is nuts. She has pulled him away from all of his friends and has tried with his family. No matter how much she tries, we have a bond that she can't break.

My kids are 9, 5, 3 and 8 months. They ALL share a room, when the youngest is not in our room. We have a double queen bunk bed that my husband built. We have another room for their toys. They love it. All they do in their bedroom is sleep and get dressed. It stays immaculate. Their toy room in their space and they all play together well. In many countries, the entire family sleeps in one room. People are shocked that all of our kids don't have their own room, being from Orange County. I figure this works for us and we can change things when it doesn't.

I have offered my oldest his own room multiple times, but doesn't want it. He feels like I would be separating him from the others. He was 3.5 when his brother was born and they have shared a room since the beginning. When #3 was born, I offered him his own room to let #2 and #3 share a room, since they were only 22 months apart. He looked at me like I was crazy. My kids are extremely close and LOVE playing together.

You can separate them later. Try them together for now...you won't regret it.

Each child will enjoy having their own space, even more so as they grow older.

Plus there will be a time when one is playing with one stage of toys and they will pose a choke hazard for the smaller child. Kids just do better in their own space.

When my mother brought my sis ter home, I was soooo excited to share a room with her.

The first night when she awoke crying, I told my mother, can you take her back now?

I suggest letting baby sister have her own room until she is older and can stay in her own bed.. then decide if it is a good idea for them to share a room. It worked for a little while with me and my sister, but she was a night owl and I liked my sleep.

My children shared bedrooms - most of the time. But the baby always slept in a separate room until he or she was old enough to sleep well through the night.

When Baby Sister is a good sleeper, let the girls share a room and use the other to play in.

My daughters are 15 months apart and have never shared a room. I think it would have made things much more difficult when they were younger - and my oldest was hard enough to get to sleep. I agree with it seems the majority to let them have their own space. My daughters are super close - but they fight at times of course and I think it'd really be an issue if they were sharing when one has a friend over. Then they couldn't go to that one's room to play alone... I just don't see the need to have kids share if they don't need to. My sister did with her daughters for quite a few years and they don't seem particularly close and now they each have their own rooms by request. Sometimes my daughters talk now about sharing and if they really want to - great. But I'm leaving it up to them and usually they seem happy to have their own space.

I shared a room with one or two my sisters (I'm one of five) -- didn't have my own room until college. What a joy to have my own space finally!! No lasting damage from having to share -- pretty fun when we were young, but teenage girls sharing a room = nightmare.

Anyway, you're probably getting ahead of yourself. I would for sure keep the little one in her own room until you know what kind of a sleeper she is. No sense in interrupting your older daughter's sleep when it could be avoided. My 22 month old has recently shown interest in sleeping in her sister's room. Not sure how the 4.5 year old would like it. We have the same jack and jill bathroom situation, so I figure I'll keep them seperate unless they really want to share a room.

Good luck!

My kids are only 17 months apart & they shared a bedroom for years without issue. The youngest was in a bassinette (sp?) in my room only for about 4 or 5 weeks & then we moved her in with her brother. The first time they had rooms of their own they were 3 & 4 years old.

*ETA* Just read your other responses & it looks like I'm definitely in the minority on this one. Eh, to each their own I guess.

I don't have any experience with this, but I do have 2 toddlers and if it were me I would wait until the youngest is at least 18 months!

I have 2 daughters, 2 years apart, and I'm planning on their sharing a room, once the baby is about a year old. She currently sleeps in a crib in my room. I think if you wait until the baby is a bit older, I' m sure they will do fine in the same room. I shared a room with my sister until I was about 10, and had no bad experiences, just some funny memories. I see no harm in it, or at least giving it a try, and if it doesn't work out, you have the option of having separate rooms.

I have 2 girls (4 and 22 mo) and 4 bedrooms also.
I opted to put the girls in the same bedroom upstairs, it's big and right by the master. The other two bedrooms are downstairs, which is mainly why I put them together, because I didn't want one kid downstairs by herself. Later if I have more kids the girls can move to the two downstairs bedrooms and each have their own.

Anyway, so the other downstairs rooms are a toyroom and a guest room (which is really just a craft/scrapbooking room for me!) I love the arrangement! Bedtime is pretty good because it all happens at once in one room. I love having options- play down in the toyroom, go upstairs and play in the bedroom for a change. And most of all I love having the room for the toys so there is no kid stuff in my living room :)

They've been in there together since the baby was about 3 months old and sleeping through the night (before that she was in the pack'n'play next to me). It's been fine!

I like your original plan. If you have the space, why not? We have 2 kids, but ours are a boy and a girl. They have always had separate rooms, because we had the space (well, except for a 10 month period when we were building this house and we had to rent--long story, but no one would rent to us b/c of our large dog-except a 2 BR townhouse privately owned by folks who also love GSD's). When we rented, they shared a room and it was awful. Such a mess, arguing over the space, nightmare for me getting them to sleep every night because they would talk/joke/fight/throw things at each other, etc. Just a very difficult thing, bedtime. They had ALWAYS been good about going to sleep before that. And always have been good since.
They are very close siblings (even though they are 3 years apart) and they have had many "soirees" over the years. Yes, even being boy/girl. It is fun for them sometimes. But generally, they sleep better when they aren't sharing space. It also lets them have "private" space, and a place to go and be alone if they want to. We even give that to our DOG (her bed/crate), so why not our children?
They will be just as close as they would be otherwise, even if they do not share a room. And it might help you in the short run, avoid issues with your older child having to "give up" some of her space.

I'd have them separate, for the whole weird infant sleep schedule. and take it from there!

We had our children in twos, by that I mean 2 boys, 2 girls, etc. So they shared rooms from the start. Sometimes I kept the baby crib in our room for a few weeks only until the baby was a bit more settled with sleeping. Otherwise they were friends, slept through the crying infant, played together, are still close as adults. I think it helped them accept the baby and feel like they were not shut out from the baby. Not so much of that with the first who were 12 months apart but they played with safe toys so both shared and then when the last kids home were older they alone got separate rooms. I'd find them in each others rooms a lot talking, etc. Only slept apart. So it's up to you. Try it both ways. Your daughter is close in age and I think they would be very close being in the same room. Not like it could be with a big age space. You could have such a cute little play room and keep it neater that way if that's what you choose. If not you can always change it.

Don't start them out sleeping in the same room. They need their space until each one is sleeping totally through the night and when there is no longer a crib involved.

That's what I did.

I moved to a new house and put them together there - they were ready anyway. I put their single beds into a L shape, we read stories, listened to music, said night-nights, and they slept. Later we got an small aquarium and put it in their room, and after lights out, we would lay there and watch "the show". (My older son said we needed popcorn!) They felt comforted that they were together for 5 years.

Then my older son really grew out of his twin bed - he had about 20 stuffed animals in there with him and I was sure he was going to fall off the edge where he slept. So that was when my boys were separated, and I got them both double beds to "graduate" them from little boys to big boys (and help the younger one not feel like he was being abandoned by his brother.)

Hope this helps!
Dawn