To Send to School or Not?

I brought my son (1/2 day - afternoon class) because he wanted to go. Had he not BEGGED to go, he would not have. He loved it. I loved it.

S.

I HAVE A DAUGHTER WHO IS ONLY 10 MONTHS AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT I'VE ALREADY BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE WHOLE PRE-SCHOOL THING. IF I'M STILL ABLE TO STAY HOME WITH HER I DON'T PLAN ON SENDING HER TO SCHOOL THAT SOON. YOU CAN WORK WITH HER ON THE THINGS THAT THEY START TEACHING THEM IN PRE-SCHOOL (ABC's,NUMBERS, COLORS,ECT....) THEY ARE ONLY LITTLE ONCE. AS FAR AS THE SOCIALIZING THING THAT WILL COME. IT DON'T HAVE TO BE A RUSHED THING. GOOD LUCK!

Hi H.!

I'm a mama with a 4 1/2 year old little girl (as well as a 2 yr old little girl and a 2 month old baby boy). I KNOW how you are feeling! When Amy turned 3, a lot of people began asking me if I was going to enroll her in preschool. I'm a WAHM and have always planned to homeschool my children. I hadn't planned on sending Amy to preschool, but all the questions and comments got me to wondering if I should go ahead and do it.

In the end, my husband and I decided that our children can receive all the special activities, socialization, and skills that they need RIGHT AT HOME! I haven't regretted this decision for a moment! Like you, I work with my daughter at home and she already knows as much, if not more, than the average child her age in public preschool. What's more, she has taught her little sister along the way, and our 2 yr old already is learning to count, say her ABC's, and knows several of her colors!

I shared a little more of my experience here, if you'd care to read it:

http://www.homemakerscottage.com/homeschool_article2.html

Good for you for staying at home with your children!

K. Howard
http://www.workathomeunited.com/homemaker

I agree with the other homeschool mom. We homeschool our kids now but originally put them in a private school. My oldest use to stop people on the street to talk them. After starting school she became shy and afraid and seemed to lose all of her confindence. The kids would also come home and tell us about all the things the other kids knew that we didn't feel they were old enough to deal with. So what is so special about socializing them? I don't send my children into the housing projects just so they can understand and relate. They will have plenty of time when they are older to try to understand the great wide world.
I don't think anyone else will love and care for them like you do. Especially since the teacher has to divide her time between 20 children.
In the end you have to do what is best for you and you family.
Best wishes in whatever you decide.

Hi H.,

I think our society tries too hard to make children socialize with one another at a very young age. We rush them into daycares and preschools far too soon and that can be detrimental and sometimes traumatizing to children. These "benefits" that people speak of are either minimal or non-existant. Your child will benefit MORE from being with you. Definitely either join a play group or go to the park, library, museum etc with her. That's more than enough socialization.

My advice would be to just love her up for as long as she wants it and don't push her into socialization. You will really enjoy this year with her. Seek a good phonics, handwriting and math program that you can teach her at home. I have 4 children and none of them went to preschool but they all excel in school now. This year my youngest will start Kindergarten. I am going to miss him dearly but I know that I had him with me for 5 1/2 years and I have no regrets about him moving on now.

I have never sent any of my kids to pre k. Pre K teaches them the first 1/2 half of Kindergarten over a yr. With other children at home I'm sure your daughter will be fine to stay home. If you want to keep her home with you another yr there is nothing wrong with that. Don't rush it. She has the next 18 yrs to be in school and only one more yr with you at home!

J. Pierce
http://J..yoursmh.com
Steel My Heart IC

H.,

I would suggest doing what is best for you and from you post it sounds like you need to keep her at home with you for some much needed mommy time. She is only 4, I would not push sending her to preschool unless she wants to go. I work in a Preschool and some are ready and some are not. Since she has other children to play with, I believe she would be fine at home. You do not have to do what society says is the right thing. That gets us into more trouble that we need usually.

Enjoy the children that God gave you to raise while you can.

J.

As a homeschooling mom for going on 18 years, I say keep your little four year old daughter home where she belongs.

So many years of school ahead - it probably wouldn't hurt to keep her home with you this year. Ya know - back in "our day" we didn't start till kindergarten anyway. Enjoy this blessed time!!

Keep her home. Plenty of time to go to school later.

Your child may gain a little by going to school at 4, but she can gain just as much by staying at home and being a kid for another year. I held my daughter back from kindergarten for a year and she and I both agree it was the best decision. A little older and more mature when they get to high school can really make a difference in the decisions they make. One of the main deciding factors for me was talking to women who had gone to school early or had summer birthdays. Elementary school was fine for them, but they all regretted being younger in high school and college. Hope this helps.

Maybe you can try to find a place that's only 2-3 days a week, for just a few hours a day. Preschool helps them adjust to being away from home and also adjusting to a classroom environment. Maybe a part-time preschool will help the transition, but still allow you a lot more time with your daughter before she does start school.

All of our kids are born in July and August. Our oldest child who just turned 8 will start 2nd grade and our 6 year old will start Kinder. in the public schools this coming year. We decided to wait and start our kids when they just turned 6 instead of pushing them early and they become the youngest in their class. I think it's really important especially for boys that you wait because of how they mature...our girl might be different but she's got 2 years to go. The year before they start public school in Kinder we took the boys to the "Mother's Day Out" program in Ballinger. It's just 2 days a week and their teacher is great. She used to be a school teacher until she decide to change jobs. They learn all the things PreK does...they just to it in 2 days instead of 5. We like it because you get to keep the kids at home a little longer but they still get use to the "school" environment. That's just what we do but every child is different. Good Luck! It's hard to let your kids be without your influence even if it's at school.

Preschool is completely unnecessary. She can learn even more from a loving, caring momma who plays with her than in a room full of other kids and a teacher. Don't freak out about the socialization thing...I know it's a word and idea that can get people up in arms, but do a couple of searches on "homeschool and socialization" and you'll see that institutional socialization isn't the best way for a child to learn and grow.

My daughter didn't attend school until first grade; not so much as a MDO, even. Despite this, she did just fine when it came time to line up, raise her hand and speak at appropriate times when she did go to school. Sure, preschool might teach her those things at four, but she'll certainly be just as capable of learning them at 6. And, really, even homeschooled children who've never ever had to stand in a line of 20 school peers waiting for the bathroom or drinking fountain somehow grow up to know how to stand in line at the grocery store or post office with no problems at all. :)

YOU are the best teacher for your young child. And you'll all have a great time. :)

I have six kids ages 8yrs-2 yrs. My oldest son, I did preschool at home and he did wonderful in kindergarten (and continues to do well). He had lots of siblings and knew sharing, taking turns, etc. We did little outings like to story time at the library and what not. It was wonderful! However, my next child, just a year younger than him needed to go to preschool. She is a sweetheart, but longed for the outside experience and begged to go. So I sent her. I missed her, but she LOVED IT! She is our little social bug.

My next child, a year younger than than her, I didn't want to send...I wanted him home. But again, he REALLY wanted to go, so I sent him. He loved it! However, my next child, only one year younger than him, I kept her home and did a co-op preschool with a friend of mine. We took turns teaching.

I didn't want to send her to preschool, she just wasn't the social bug that the other two were and our at-home preschool was wonderful. And now she's off to Kindergarten in the Fall.

I think you should take in consideration your own feelings, but perhaps ask if she wants to go. Ultimately, it's your decision, but let her weigh in. She may not want to go, or she may really want to go. Sit down, give her the pros and cons for each and see what she wants.

Best of Luck!

I am in the same situation I have 2 kids at home age 4 and age 3 and I SAHM and I work part time at home.

I don't have to send my kids anywhere and we could just stay home. However I have talked with other parents and the Pre-K teacher at the Public school. After speaking with the teacher I felt much better. The program here and I think its about the same in all districts in public school in Texas is half a day or 3 hours a day but 5 days a week.

The advantages that I think will be good is they talked about the learning structure and the social skills they will learn.
They will get to be in age appropriate activities, where if you have a younger child sometimes my 4 yr old gets bored.
I know I will cry and its going to be an adjustment, but I think also the 3 hours will give both me and my son a chance to get use to him being gone. Our school has morning and afternoon and we decided afternoon would be better and we could still do activities in the morning and he can have time with his sister still.

I know the school here has a Xmas music program with the
Pre-K and I am looking forward to seeing that.
I don't want to let go either but I know I have too.
Starting with 3 hours a day is easier than all day,
that gives me a chance to feel more confident my child will be ok.

Good luck and decide whats best for your child.

My two daughters stay home with my husband during the day. We sent the oldest to a preschool program at the Arlington recreation center (Cliff Nelson) for the last year. It was three hours a day twice a week. It was really good for her, but she was not gone from home all day, every day. Also it was a whole lot cheaper than regular daycare ($70 per month). They had homework and it was a structured program which included school time, craft time, play time and snack time. See if your city has a similar program or put her in one or two mother's day out programs. They are usually not a full day (9:30 to 2:30 or so). However, it sounds like it may be difficult for you to pick up and drop off during the day since you watch other kids in your home. If you have your own version of a daycare and do some school work (there are great sites with worksheets to print out - my daughter gets to do homework sheets. When she completes a homework package, she gets a star. When she gets five stars, she gets to draw from the treasure chest.) If you have other kids of similar age, make a daily homework session part of your regular day and they will all benefit. If she is getting the social and educational at home, I don't see why you would have to pay to take her anywhere. That said, she might enjoy some time away from home and in a different environment for a few hours a week.

If you have children coming to your home everyday, she is getting the socialization she needs. I have always placed all my children in MDO program - I'm a SAHM of 3...2yr old, 2x a week, 3yr old 3x a week, etc... I think it's good for them to be in a classroom environment with their friends and an adult other than yourself telling them what is right and wrong. All of my children have loved it and can't wait to go to MDO. Daycare is much different than MDO...it's not as long - usually 9-2, the classrooms are smaller and more attention given to each child. Children who attend daycare are there because both parents work full time...MDO children go so mom can get a break and the children can play. They do all kinds of arts and crafts, sing, learn the alphabet, and have a great time. If you haven't placed her in anything outside the home, I would suggest it. She will have a harder time when it's time for her to go to a structured school, such as kindergarten. This way you can "easy" her way to being away at school.
Good luck

Our situation was more of getting her ready to be away from us. So when my oldest was almost 4 we started her in a preschool 2 days a week. The ONLY reason we did is because we decided she was probably going to go to public school and she had never been left with anyone. We knew she needed to experience being dropped off with someone she trusted so when it came time for kindergarten it would be a little easier on her. We took her to a preschool program at her gymnastics studio so she already knew the people there. Kindergarten was still really hard, but instead of screaming hysterically she bonded with the teacher and only shed a few tears. It still took 2 weeks before we could bring ourselves to drop her off in the car line instead of walking her all the way to her class room. She cried every day until we stopped doing that. Now she loves school more than anything in the world. She is going into 2nd grade and she can't wait!

Keep that sweet baby home! Preschool is an option for a reason. She has 19 years of required school ahead of her........let her be a kid for one more year!!!!! If you feel like you just have to put her in some sort of organized preschool there are several that are just two days a week, that is what I am doing with my four and a half year old but that is ti give him a break, and I have been home with him this entire time. But you will never get this year back and no one will love her and take care of her like you will!!!! She will not be the only kindergardener that didn't go to preschool I promise!!!!

Just a quick reminder that preschool is more than just learning to socialize. Yes, they can get "socialization" skills from being in a play group, or at home. BUT - what you learn in preschool is how to sit in a group and listen to a teacher that isn't mom, how to raise your hand to ask permission, how to wait your turn, how to walk in a line, how to take turns going down the slide or swings, how to be quiet when someone else is speaking, how to sing group songs. You learn group activities that you cannot learn at home because of size limitations. You learn that the world doesn't revolve around you. You learn that teachers are in charge. You learn how to go potty in a "public" setting without being scared. You learn responsibilities. You also learn a lot of things that used to be taught in Kindergarten - letters, numbers, alphabet, colors, reading left to right, writing your name. And yes, some of this can be picked up/taught at home, but not all of it. A lot of these skills put a child at an advantage going into school if they already can function.

My kids have never been to pre-school or public school. They are not un-socialized monsters either. People feed off of that socialization thing and make it more important than you think. Unless you anticipate locking her in a closet then I would think that you can teach her all the socialization skills she will need. Let's think about it. What can't you teach her that they can? Reading, math, writing, crafts, painting, cutting, coloring, running, playing, swimming..... sharing, making friends.
If you have a church, Moms day out, or anything else like and organized sport....then they are getting socialization. Do you really want them to learn to bite and be aggressive at school. Or throwing tantrums, shoving, fighting for attention. Their momma can be a teacher to them and the teacher-student ratio is great. Even with you keeping kids at home. So school all of them. It would be easy to print off things for them to color etc. to learn their letters, colors and shapes.
My kids are 13.5, 12, 8.5. I don't think they are unsocialized in any way.
You also have to think about what the pioneers did on the homesteads. Do you think they worried about socialization? I would think they were all right, living on the farm in the middle of nowhere. And still managed to have manners etc.
We have t-shirts that say "Warning: Unsocialized Homeschooler" as a jest. People always assume that if you keep your child at home you are somehow hurting them with the socialization card,like never letting them see the sun or letting them out of their room and feeding them with a tray that slides under the door. Now that mine are older,
I must admit that I don't want them to be socialized by their peers. To learn things like drugs, pre-marital sex, language, risky behaviour, disrespect.
At the 18 month age, all he needs is his family and some toys.
Good luck,
L.
PS when my oldest was 6mos old we put him in a daycare for 2 hours 3 days a week. I worked the evening and his daddy worked the day shift. And we only needed a little time when one of us left for work, but the other wasn't off yet. I cried every time he got dropped off, and only kept him in for like 2 weeks. That is the extent of our daycare. And my other two sons that came along never set foot in one. So I don't really count two weeks at part-time as really going to daycare. Starting with the second day he was there, he started getting sick for the next 3 weeks. But I had already taken him out by the third week.
And I cried every day I took him for like an hour. Couldn't stand it.
I think that if you feel that strongly then you should keep him out and with you.
L.

send her! i'm not pro-homeschool at all, never will be. it seems the only reason you have to keep her at home is that you feel like you missed out on the first 3 years, so you want one year before you send her to K. i was in your shoes and sent him anyways. boy am I glad that i did it! they expect sooooooooo much more out of kids in K nowadays. preschool IS important, especially if she's had no group socialization up till now. could you do the socialization other ways, such as library events and things? sure, but i'm not a fan of that method.

Hey H.,
I am sure others have offered this advice: I homeschooled all my four girls in the beginning. . .I think you need to understand that preschool is not a super big deal. You can work with your daughter on preschool things at home. Stay at home and enjoy your kids!!! Who was it that said preschool was necessary, especially when your kids are socialized. The social they need is mommy and daddy.
My girls didn't go to public school until this year (18, 16, 14, and 12). There are different opportunities available for every family and every kid these days. Research out what preschoolers do and see if you could do a bit with your kids. It is not imperative that kids go to preschool.
Do not feel guilty if you do not send them to preschool. They may be better for it!
Karen H.