P.M.
Another mom asked almost this exact question today. My response to her is the same (imagine that!).
I hope you will not get pregnant unless you and your husband are both clear that this is the best possible thing you can do for everybody concerned, including your existing children and any child-to-be. There are lots of reasons for wanting more children, but they may not hold up in light of your actual, real-life experiences.
Please consider that this is the single highest-impact decision you can make, not only for your own family, but for humanity at large. Today's population growth on a graph isn't even a curve – it's a line going almost straight up.
Environmental scientists have serious concerns about the Earth's ability to go on supporting such growth, which is making extraordinary demands on livable and farmable space, on other species, on non-renewable resources, on our atmosphere and oceans, on the climate, and even on other less-powerful societies.
Because I already had these concerns more than 40 years ago, I limited my family to one child. My daughter has done the same. My concerns are far more urgent than ever. The state of the Earth is really shakey right now. The children we bring into the world now may well face a much-diminished quality of life than we have enjoyed. I hope young parents will look toward more conservatively-sized families for the good of all our children.
My experience is that once I find clearness about a decision, I become calm. I may choose to revisit a decision at any time it's desirable. But it is possible to commit to a specific path forward, and then turn your attention to other matters. Yes, that yearning is programmed into us. With today's realities, that's not a "good enough" reason to make another person. Good luck!
