Tired Worn Out Mom

I did what I had to do at that age. I let my sweet boy sleep with me. I needed my sleep and so did he. Everyone was much happier when he slept with me (well not everyone, dad wasn't happy about it!) Now he's 6 and shes 4 and they each sleep in thier own rooms. But they do sneek in and cuddle with me now and then. I don't mind that a bit!

You (or your husband) might need to try something like putting him in his room and sitting nearby where he can see you, but not where you are right next to his bed. Then don't interact with him, but every time he gets out of bed, put him back. It may take a while the first nights but I think he'll get it. I used to sit in my DD's doorway when she was little and having a hard time and now she will stay in her bed, even if she's counting the stars on her ceiling. If you are tired, maybe DH needs to take the lead on returning him to bed each and every time.

You lock yourself in your room and lock him out - literally??

My poor son did not sleep thru the nite (not even once!) until he was 16 months old. And still doesn't at 4 years old. I so feel your tiredness!

I finally gave him and made him a "bed" on the floor in my room beside my bed. He is allowed to come into my room and sleep there. I'm sure some folks will say not the best solution, but when you have fought this battle for several years you are willing to try just about anything to get some sleep.

This has worked really well for us. He will get up and come into my room and lay right down in his little nest. It took a couple of weeks to get him to quit trying to get into my bed and stay in his on the floor, but he eventually accepted it was there or back to his room.

Good luck and get rest whenever you can. Nap when he does, have hubby take him out for the afternoon on Sat and just sleep the afternoon away! You need to take care of you and your little one too!

Can your husband get more often and allow you to sleep? it might give your husband and child a great chance to bond. My husband got up with our son about 50% of the time... it was a good experience for all.. Also, about the chain lock.. Had a foster mother who did that to the smallest kid, he would kick and scream to get out... I was heartbroken by it and at only ten years old, while she slept...and my 2 year old foster brother cried and cried, It was me who got up and cared for him.. I really don't like kids being locked in anywhere... you might want to reconsider that one..

Leave the lock on and tell him you will see him in the morning and then ignore the crying completely. Even if he sleeps on the floor he'll learn you are not coming. It should only take about 3 nights and end. I had to do this with my oldest as I didn't let him cry and sat in his room half the night until he was one. He was younger than your child but it only took 3 or so nights of crying and that was it. He was in his crib though but it will work the same if you have the lock on the door. Our pediatrician told us to put a hook lock on the door when he was 2 plus as he'd come out of his room and get into things and that worked well. I hated to do it but it gave us peace and he was safe so the lock won't hurt him and he won't cry once he realizes you are not giving in. It's hard but you'll be glad you did it now when the baby is here. That's what I went through with my year old child as his brother was born 5 days after his 1st birthday and I didn't want two crying at night and couldn't sit in his room and feed a baby at the same time. Do it now.

Our son would climb out of the crib. So we would sit at the end of the hall like "hall monitors". When he climbed out we were sitting right there cause he couldn't see us sitting there. I read the bible twice sitting there!!!! He is a stubborn little thing and after awhile starting thinking it was a game. We started being stern with him, not talking to him, not picking him up and we would walk him back to his room. He did NOT like that and finally coped a clue.

We never coslept with our kids. If they had a bad dream they would come in and lay down for a little bit and then we would take them back or we would lay down in their bed with them until they fell asleep.

Unfortunately, we have to retrain him. Good luck.

My oldest never slept in her crib...and we were forced to cosleep after MANY different attempts to get her sleep in her crib. I finally moved her completely out of our bed about 2 years ago. (She is six) It finally took for her to sleep with her younger sister in a full size bed. I gradually made the switch from laying with her, sitting in her room to finally leaving her on her own to fall asleep. This was not an easy task and it did not happen over night.

Your son needs to learn to fall back to sleep on his own. I have no magic answers as I had my own battles and it took years for me to get my oldest to sleep on her own. (Even now though, she has to sleep with her sister. If I didn't have her sister she wouldn't be sleeping on her own)

My advice is to do what you need to do to get your rest...especially when the second baby comes. Good luck!

watch super nanny. whe deals with it by being consistent.
Starts out in the babies room. Puts child to bed ans says good night.
If the child gets out of bed WITHOUT talking or interaction put child back in bed. Continue until child stays in bed. I the most times I saw was 35 or so. You could sit in the room back to child no talking, just get up and put them back in bed. Same with time out. Give a specific warning at eye level with child and tell them they will go in time out. If they do it again put them in time out without talking. REPEAT one child went 67 times but he stayed there. No drama just put them back in time out. NO TALKING. They will learn the boundries and realize you aren't giving in. If you do give in once be ready to start all over, not for 30-60 times though! Hope this helps. No matter how many time I watch super nanny I still need to relearn the techniques.

Google Dana Obleman's "Sleep Sense" program.

I let mine sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag for a few times, but she decided she liked her bed more. I also let her climb in bed with us a few times, but had hubbie take her back to bed after a few minutes, because she kept us awake flopping around. Also, you can buy "extra tall" walk through gates that my 7 year old can not even get over, so you might check craigslist for one cheap.

I would suggest getting a crib tent and make it sound exciting. Tell him he gets to go camping and it will make him feel cozy. I don't know, whatever you think he'll buy into for at least a moments time! :) Don't go from never letting him cry to complete abandonment, however. You'll create anxiety and risk him sleeping worse. Maybe go in there for a few nights (and don't pick him up) but say, mommy needs sleep to be a better mommy. You are okay and I'll come check on you soon. I realize he's only 2 but he'll figure out what you mean pretty quickly. Just stay calm so he feels more secure and safe. I'm sure it's going to be a rough road for a bit. You can also offer to let him sleep with his favorite toy so that if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he can play with it until he's tired again. Some people may disagree with this but I had two kids who both went through about 2 years of not being able to fall back asleep quickly. I can't do it either! Or, if you are absolutely desperate for some sleep now, and can address this problem later, move his crib mattress to your bedside and tell him he can sleep in your room but not in your bed. Maybe he'll feel more secure but you are starting to teach him how to deal with what you are okay with and what you are not. Another thing I used to do is to let my kids climb into my bed. Since I couldn't go back to sleep, I would move them back to their bed after they fell asleep. Eventually, they stopped coming in. Good luck, I know how you are feeling and it's terrible.

What do you do when you go to him? If you are soothing and sweet or cuddle him, hug him, or get him a drink, then it is worth it for him to get up in the night.

He has to learn to put himself back to sleep so you don't have to. My pediatrician had no problem with a lock on the door. Our daughter was our strong-willed child and she had to learn that she was not going to call the shots at our house.

If there was a bad dream or illness, then we would go in and be comforting, of course. But if it was just to stay up and not go to sleep, we were stern and put her right back to sleep as a baby. As she could start to leave her room, we would just call out to her, through the slit in the door, to go back to sleep.

I would time it. Without opening the door or going in, just tell him to go back to bed. Don't yell, don't reason with him (he's too young), don't go into a long drawn out reason. Keep it to a few short words. Then let him cry for 5 min. and then tell him again to go back to bed. Use the same words as he will get bored with them. He needs to know you are still there and haven't left him, but do not open the door. Then let him cry for 10 min, increasing the time 5 min. each time. It will seem like an eternity when it is 15 min, but if all you are going to do is tell him (from a distance) to go back to bed in the same few words, he will get bored and finally realize there is no point in putting out all that effort. Your husband needs to help. It will feel like you are being tortured when you hear him cry for even 10 min, but you and your husband need to help watch the clock and hold each other back.

He needs to know you are still there. But he does not need anything else at night (on a normal night) but sleep. This is worth doing for a few nights (yes, it's difficult) but it will be so worth it. He needs his sleep as much as you do. Your new baby needs the sleep as well.

I would not suggest co-sleeping with your child if you and your husband aren't 100% excited about it. It is hard on husbands already to compete with a child, but to compete with two children and one or both in your bed could give your husband a bad message. (Already as moms, we can easily put aside our husband's needs because our children need us. Not good.) If you are both 100% in favor of the benefits, and feel they outweigh the negatives, that is the only time I would suggest that.