Tips on Potty Taining for My Four Year Old Daughter

Ditch the pull ups. They are like diapers. Put her in underwear and stay home for several days. Keep taking her every 15 min. She will get it. She is old enough. No cajoling. This is what we do. Good luck.

She's had some disruption in her life and that can make potty training more difficult. She needs consistency and love and patience. Let her get used to being back in your life and make sure you have many comforting routines (a bedtime routine, regular meal times, etc.). Get her in the habit of going before you leave the house, after meals, etc. Sometimes people have success with underwear vs. pull-ups (but I would keep her in pull-ups during the night -that's another story. And she needs sleep.) But make potty time fun with books about how everyone goes potty (try the children's library for good suggestions that you don't have to pay for). Maybe a sticker chart would help but only if you reward the good attempts and don't punish or act disappointed for the accidents. Take the stress out of it by not thinking too much about the preschool deadline - your stress can be transferred to her, and with the adjustments she's had to make in the last 6 months, you want to reduce that and increase her feelings of security.

Yes, regular training pants are ideal. Kids at this age do have all the motor coordination necessary for using the toilet, now it's time for her to get on board by avoiding being wet.

Put the pull-ups away, plan to stay very close to home for a few days and let her know that it's time for underpants. (I would avoid calling them 'big girl panties' because if there is some underlying reason for her not to go potty-- transitions you describe can cause delays in toileting--you don't want her to feel like she's being a 'baby'.)

A couple things I did when helping my son: I never asked him *if* he needed to use the toilet, just told him "in X minutes, it will be *time to go potty*." Made it a matter of fact. When he had accidents, I didn't chastise him, just had him help me clean up his wet clothes (I'd hold a plastic bag open while he put them in, so they wouldn't get the rest of the laundry smelling of pee) and clean himself up. He HATED being wet and was using the toilet reliably in just a few days. And her bladder is big enough that you can have her go about every 40 minutes or so. Don't sweat it if she doesn't 'produce' each time, just have her give it a try.

This is really more about teaching her to listen to her body's cues and how to respond *before* she has an accident. I'd avoid any punishments or rewards: the consequence is being wet and having to clean up. Be sure when she's cleaning up that you keep things light: "Well, maybe next time you'll get the pee in the potty." Don't tell her she will or that she won't....she is going to need to figure this out and your patience will be the best parenting tool to use in this situation.

Remember, the 'reward' for all of this is staying dry. Perhaps, too, you could surprise her with a reward (don't offer it earlier--let it be a complete surprise) to acknowledge when she IS staying dry-- let her pick out some fun underpants.

I thought I replied to this....

She's had a lot of disruption, so I would expect the regression. I would encourage her to try when you think she should reasonably be able to go. Before dinner. In the morning. Before a bath. Before an outing. That worked so much better for my DD than a timer every 20 minutes. We also make a big deal of EVERYONE trying before we get in the car so it's not just her. It's what we all do. Even now if I see her shifting around while talking to me I'll remind her that she can go potty and come back, I'll wait. It takes less time to pee than to clean up later.

I would take a long weekend and put her in underpants (pick her favorite character) and get her out of the nighttime pull up as soon as she wakes up. Put her on the toilet and get her changed. If you have a potty, see if she will do better with either one of those toilet lids with a kid seat installed or a seperate insert so she learns to use a big toilet and isn't afraid come school time. Friend had a very stubborn kid and one day just threw out the diapers and said, "this is it" and the kid got the hint very quickly.

RE: School, talk to them. Kids have accidents. Mine did. Explain the situation. They may be willing and able to back you up at school. I was incredibly frustrated with my DD's accidents, but we got through it. She even had one in kindergarten. No, they didn't change her, but they had a bag of clothes and she changed herself.

I invested in Nature's Miracle for the carpet and vinegar for the wash. It really wasn't too bad overall, except for the time she peed on the couch. Car seats are no fun, but that's why you can remove the covers (and bring a spare towel for her to sit on if she does have an accident). She'll get there.

eh maybe. going naked for a bit helped my boy know better when he had to go but he still has trouble telling me. if i ask him though he can say yes/no and runs to his little potty. good luck!

I agree with Diane B wholeheartedly. Whatever advice you get or choose to try, temper it all with the knowledge that she is not going to be "typical" due to disruption on her life. The best plan involves love, patience, consistency, and more love, patience and consistency.

I discovered with my daughter that pullups didn't work - she had no reason to try to go in the toilet so she'd pee in the pullup without thinking about it. You should definitely ditch the pullups while she's awake (use them during naps/overnight as long as needed - don't even bother trying right now). Keep her in underwear all the time. If you're able to stay home doing nothing for a few days, that will help.

when you do need to go out, line the car seat with a waterproof pad. that way, if she goes, you can switch out the pad and the car seat itself stays dry. It makes it a lot easier than having to wash the car seat cover.

She will eventually realize that wetting her pants isn't fun/good, and will be inspired to try to use the toilet more. In the beginning, don't wait for her to say she needs to go, since it will probably be too late. take her every hour or so and sit her on the toilet for a few minutes. If she goes, wait at least an hour before trying again. If she doesn't, maybe try again after 15 minutes or so.

I definitely think you'll have better luck with underwear than pullups. good luck, and congrats on getting her back!

You've got the right idea, but don't expect her to be able to tell you for a while. Put her on the potty as soon as she wakes up. If she goes, you can wait an hour or so to put her on again.

If she doesn't go, take her every 20 min until she does. Then wait and hour or so to take her again.

After a few days, you'll probably figure out a schedule for her. And you just take her when you know she'll go.

Yes, do this in underpants. But don't expect her to tell you for the next few months, you need to remember to just take her to the potty on a schedule.

I want to be practical.

IF you put her in panties she's going to still have accidents, for a while, so....do you have solid linoleum floors? Tile has grout that absorbs fluids, wood floors have pores and absorb fluid, carpet never really gets completely sanitary again, just think about your furniture.

Your house will start to stink like pee and pooh.

IF IF IF you have a yard or can go to a park for several hours without getting overheated take her to the park and let her wear undies. Then she's outside and the house is protected. Let her go and don't change her if she has an accident. She could experience that feeling until it's time to go, then you change her and rinse her off if there is a drinking fountain or water source where you can fill a cup and pour it on her legs.

This way you're car won't get stinky.

Otherwise you're going to have to confess to the school that she's not potty trained and let them have the option of dropping her. They don't do changing in Pre-K but they do let a kiddo change clothes when they have an accident.

Will your daughter change herself? Will she put on a fresh pull up if you supply them? Will the school allow her to wear a pull up? Or do they want undies only?

I understand where you're coming from. My grandson is 7 and went through a complete reversal in 1st grade. In Pre-K and Kindergarten he was normal, had some accidents but overall okay. Then in 1st grade he had at least 1 accident every day.