Hi Moms -
My son has always been a good napper. Last year, when he was three and in preschool from 9:00 to 12:30, he'd come home and nap from 1:30 to 3:30 or 4:00. Now, he is in pre-K from 9:00 to 2:45, with no nap at school. When he comes home, he is exhausted and naps from 3:30 to 5:30 or even 6:00. This pushes his bedtime back to 9:00 or 9:30. We can handle the late beditme; the problem is that if he is waking up at 5:30, we can't plan any playdates (and he LOVES playdates), since all of his friends are usually getting ready for dinner by that time.
Now that he is four, I'm considering trying to wean him from his nap so that he gets the opportunity for a normal afternoon, with an earlier bedtime at night. I'm reluctant to do so, however, because he clearly needs the nap (otherwise, he wouldn't be napping two hours). If he doesn't get a nap, he is really difficult to deal with - almost a different child altogether. Any advice or words of encouragement? Do kids adjust pretty quickly to a "forced" dropped nap?
Thanks!
Thanks, Moms. We've decided to try dropping the nap. He is getting the same amount of sleep in a 24 hour period because he is going to bed much earlier and sleeping a bit later. I generally agree with the comments that we should let kids nap as much as they need, and until now, I have held nap time sacred. At this point, however, I don't think he is happier with the nap and the later bedtime. This week, he has done ok in the afternoon without the nap (though yesterday evening was really rough), and he is very happy to go to bed at an earlier hour. We will see how it continues.
If he is that tired he needs the naps. It's not really up to you to decide his body doesn't need them anymore. He will just fall asleep anyway. Why can't you guys do play dates after dinner?
He needs the nap.
That takes precedence over playdates.
He's napping because he's honestly tired.
Let him have hi naps even though that will move his bedtime later.
Don't enforce dropping a nap.
Better for us to adjust, as parents, than the children.
Kids' bodies know what they need. His needs sleep.
Personally, I feel that if they need the sleep, they NEED the sleep. I'd rather have a healthy, well-rested child than worry about playdates. He won't always nap. He's got plenty of years ahead of him to play with friends after school. I'd save myself the crabby child and let him nap. If anything I might have a set ending time for the nap, as long as it's not too early. That way you can still have a set dinner time. Just schedule playdates for the weekends or ask a friend over for dinner.
Sure, he needs a nap now, but if you drop the nap and help him to adjust, he will get the nap sleep at bedtime. My kids drop their naps at 2 and sleep 12-13 hours at night. Much easier than dealing with a nap.
It will take a few weeks for him to adjust, but instead of encouraging a nap, encourage quiet time with videos or books. Then move his bedtime earlier. Yes, he will be fussy at the beginning, but as he starts getting all his necessarily sleep at night, his body will adjust to the new schedule, and then he will be ready for playdates.
I would drop the nap, and move bedtime up to 6:30 or 7:00 PM. Depending on your schedule, you may have to eat dinner earlier, or feed him first so you can get him in the tub and to bed. As he gets older, he will adjust and you can gradually make his bedtime a bit later.
He really will adjust. I think it took both of my boys a couple of weeks to really adjust. Maybe it didn't take quite that long. But it does take some adjustment. They were both fairly crabby at first, but the alternative just didn't make sense anymore. And their bedtime just kept getting later and later to a point where I wasn't getting enough sleep! Momma was getting very tired!!!
I guess I would say just understand that some crabbiness is normal and to be expected. He might need a little extra patience at first. I usually tried to keep the boys busy. Not necessarily super active, but involved with something. Also, a little extra tv time once in awhile never hurt anyone. We read lots of books, and I just tried to have lots of ideas in case they seemed bored.
Good luck!
I would look at a pre-K program with nap time after lunch. At my son's Montessori there were nappers and non-nappers. He napped until he was 5-1/2 at school. And he simply needed the sleep. He went to bed at 8:30 and woke up at 7:30 (8:00 on weekends). I am not sure why your son is waking at 5:30. If he is happy when he wakes, I honestly wouldn't try to take away his nap. There is no way in the world a 6:30 bedtime would have worked for us. We are just sitting down to dinner between 6:30 and 6:45. You can always have him nap from 1-3 on weekends and do morning or late afternoon play dates on the weekend. We never do play dates on weekdays. DS has spent the whole day with his friends - why does he need a play date?
