Time Issue in Eating Meals

I've used a timer and it helps. Most of the time it's because they are detracted by TV, toys, talking or other kids. When the times up, the meal is over. Don't have to make a big deal about it but in time they learn to eat in a timely matter.
C.

You can try setting a timer so that he can see the clock tick down and he'll know he only has that much time left to eat. Start with 45 minutes, then 40, then 35, then 30 and see if that helps. My other thought would be is he distracted? Is he watching TV or talking, or is he just a slow eater? Is he really that hungry? I think I'd use the timer and then reinforce that we have 30 minutes to eat. When the timer goes off, we are picking up the food and you'll have to wait until snack time for more (or the next meal).

My daughter is the same way, and is now almost six...she still takes about an hour to finish a meal. Breakfast goes quicker, I believe, but lunch and dinner are at least an hour.

My opinion? Let them take as long as they want, because after all, it's much healthier to eat slower, and it teaches you to recognize when you are full. Granted, I homeschool, so getting done in a "time frame" isn't really an issue...but she IS capable of it, because like I said, breakfast goes quicker because she knows we have things to do.

Seriously, I wouldn't punish him! Some children just eat slow...and at least with my daughter, it has never been a behavioral thing...she just eats slow. Rests between bites. And she is a very healthy eater, because she understands TRUE portions because her body is allowed to tell her when it is full.

In older times, people sat down and took and hour or more (at least) for a meal, eating slowly and conversing. I truly think it's more healthy. My daughter understands that compared to most people she is a very slow eater, but I've never tried to make it an issue. I believe as she gets older, it will improve, because she will want to get on to other things.

If I were you, I would accept it...I have! (I know it's frustrating sometimes, when you have the dishes done except for the one little plate, fork, and cup.) :)

(and of course, if it's because of distractions, eliminate distractions. Eat at the kitchen table, and don't have a tv or toys in the kitchen.)

Punishing him will NOT make him eat faster.

My Aunty is a slow eater. Has always been that way.
She is fine, not overweight, does not eat for emotional reasons, and is healthy. So has done fine in life. She has not starved when people rush her.

Do not give him, food hang-ups. That is HARD.... to cure, in a child.

Im not sure that punishing would be appropriate as long as its not taking this long from playing around or acting up. I myself am a slow eater and from what I hear thats a good thing. Not sure what to do to minimize theis time but Good Luck

Has your attention? I would just get up and do things you have to do. Is there a reason why you stay for an hour anyway? Kids bodies have little alarms in them. If they are still hungry later they definitely let you know. My body doesn't have that alarm in it anymore. I could eat ALL the time. If he doesn't eat and you have to go out or something-well, then time to go. As far as schools go, and it makes me crazy, they don't let this happen, time is up and they are done. That's it. Throw it out. I don't actually like it, I don't agree with it- as I see different children do not eat as fast as others. But that's how they do it. Not sure if this helps but seems like this is becoming a bigger issue than it need be. He will not permit himself to starve if you stop him from sitting a long time. Really.

My first thought is to have your child checked by a doctor to see if there are any underlying health reasons for this slow eating. I saw reflux mentioned, but nothing about dental issues, swallowing problems, lack of saliva, breathing problems while chewing, etc. If there are no distractions during meal time or health issues, then I would consider the timer approach. My entire family are slow eaters and much of it had to do with dental issues and breathing problems. Good luck!

my daughter takes forever also. i sit with her as long as i can, but when i have to get up, i tell her im sorry but i have to get up. and she continues for aaaaages. however, she is a great eater. she tries everything, likes most things, doesnt over or under eat, and so if taking a year to eat a meal is the worst, im certainly not going to mess with it. she is master of manipulation, and the last thing i want is control issues around food. if we have someplace to be or whatever, i tell her she has a certain amount of time and then a 10 min warning, 5 min warning, and then i take her plate. if i must. but i am forever waiting for her anyway so its nothing unusual, haha... anyway, my advice is for now to leave him alone when you can, and move him along when you must. pick your battles. good luck.

My son had always been a slow eater and we found out when he was about 9 or 10 that he has reflux. People with reflux eat slowly because eating quickly is uncomfortable. My son is 14 now and takes reflux medication but still eats more slowly than others. He says that eating quickly makes him feel as if his food is lodged in his esophagus and not going down well. If he eats slowly he can avoid this uncomfortable feeling.

Hi! My brother (a single dad) had this issue with his son (14 years ago). My nephew would always like to sit and chat about his day before he touched anything. My brother tried the timer thing, but once it went off and he was not finished he did not have the heart to take his food away. My brother ended telling him that he could not talk until he finished his dinner. It took awhile but it worked. I thought it was so mean, since we were brought up that dinner time was our reconnecting time. However, once I had my own and this happened to us, we did the same thing and guess what? It took about a week of no talking until her dinner was finished and then we sat and enjoyed our dinner conversations! She now finishes with the rest of the family and it is an enjoyable time.

Hope this helps!

I wouldn't force him to eat faster or finish his meal. Knowing when to stop eating is a very healthy food habit to have. When my girls are done with their meal, they are done. However, if they don't finish their meal, they don't get any treats. I gladly direct them back to their plate to eat more of that if they are still hungry.

My mom used a timer on me when I was little, and it hasn't caused any weird food issues. I would recommend just not sitting with him for the full hour, but a timer is not unreasonable, if you prefer that. I always sit with my kids for the first 20-30 min, then I start puttering around the kitchen or even walk away briefly to tend to laundry, etc. Usually having less of my attention makes then hurry up, but either way I'm happy b/c I'm getting my chores done. When it matters for some reason (i.e. if my son's slow eating is threatening to make us late for something), then I will tell him, "5 more minutes then the food goes away". And, of course, I mean it. Usually he'll quickly take 1 or 2 more bites then decide he's done.

If it is taking him that long to eat because he is playing around, set a timer.

My son did this because he would be playing with his food, goofing around, staring off in space, just everything *but* eating.

I don't think it is unreasonable at all to expect him to finish a meal within a certain time frame, say 30 minutes. Remind him when you start the meal. Use a timer when there are 5 minutes left. Once the timer goes off, the meal is done. Take the food away and the meal is done. Trust me - he'll do what he needs to do. It only took about a week to nip this problem in the bud. And don't worry, my son has NO issues with food nor does he scarf down his food like a pig because he has to hurry. He eats like a pretty typical person and *gasp* enjoys vegetables, too!

I'd still give the snack at bedtime, unless the snack takes another 60 minutes to finish.

Send me a private message and I will send you my email or phone number. Our daughter had extreme eating issues and we were inpatient at Baylor in Dallas for 4 weeks retraining. The gave us a really simple system that is easy to learn and follow and will build a healthy relationship to food. Cheers!

(Timer is for 30 minutes a meal, 4-6 times a day, 300-400 calories a meal, and NO snacks in between meals or after the last meal UNLESS he ate well that meal, again, email for the criteria of "eating well")

There was a post on here earlier about slow eaters, might have been yours even.
I guess you could clean up after everyone else and just let him sit there till he's finished... Just dont let it upset you so much. He'll speed up when he gets older.

If your schedule is consistent, I put two stickers on my clock in my kitchen that the girls can see from the table. One sticker is when breakfast is over, the other is when we are walking out the door. Not sure how you could use that method but for our routine it works.

I'm sorry, this is not going to be helpful but I wanted to tell you anyway. I'm a very slow eater, I always have been. My parents traveled a lot when I was young and they'd joke it would take me from TX to IL to finish a happy meal. I don't think they tried to correct me, I don't have any issues with reflux or dental, etc so I don't know the "cause." I do chew my food A LOT - so much so that it is a joke for everyone to try to count my chews . . . which only makes it worse. Anyway, I do have a bit of an OCD personality, no real issues just small ones (like chewing my food too long) so maybe he has a little OCD? My son takes after me and it is frustrating to constantly stay on him to eat . . . which makes me take longer to eat. We enjoy/savor our food, I guess. Be patient - see what it is that is causing the time delay. Is he chewing too long? Perhaps have him count to 15 or 20 then swallow. Is he talking too much? Have him eat half his meal before he begins talking or "do chores" the first 10min then sit down with him so he can focus on eating first. Is he playing in his food rather than eating? The timer idea may work better for this one. You know your son - but it is healthier to eat slowly even though it is frustrating for a busy schedule. Good Luck!

What you should do depends on WHY is he taking forever IMO... If he's playing or talking, I would do the timer thing. But I know I was a super-slow eater as a child... I wasn't playing, or goofing off in any way... I just chewed slowly and for a long time. My parents tried timing me, punishing me, taking the food away, all sorts of things but nothing ever helped. All it did was stress everyone out. I did grow out of it eventually... I think I was 12-13 when I did. At 4 years old, you shouldn't have to sit with him the entire time... you could probably do the dishes, work (or play) on the computer (if you have a laptop), or whatever.

Well I would not disapline him either. I think that this may be a thing to grow out of. Give the time needed for the meal and then pack it away for a later time in the day finished or not. Let him eat in the car or something to give him more time to eat what he did not eat. Not sure that is practal. But we live in the car with all the commuting.......so my kids adapt.