My SD (14, 8th grade) has to wear a skirt or dress to a field trip this week (which in an of itself is ridiculous but that's not the question). She got a cute, casual dress but absolutely has to wear tights or hosiery with it because it's winter in New England. It's a relatively warm winter, but not bare-leg warm. My husband, bless his heart, took her to pick up shoes this weekend and she got SANDALS. Ack! And not peep-toe - full on middle of summer gladiator sandals. I just saw them and told her that she absolutely cannot wear them. That one never wears open-toe shoes with hosiery (didn't feel like getting into the nuances of a peep-toe winter pump vs. strappy, flimsy summer sandals) and she'll have to wear closed-toe shoes. She has a simple pair of black ballet flats that she hates for whatever reason. I'll take her back and exchange the sandals for something closed-toe and if she can't find something, will have her wear the ballet flats.
She won't be happy about this so I'm just checking to make sure that I'm not wrong. I've seen peep-toe pumps and tights in winter in the past few years so now I'm not 100% sure if this is still a faux pas. Tights and summer sandals...still not OK, right?
Thanks everyone. The sandals will go back today. I got a closer look at them and they're not gladiator, they're hideous tan cork things that my mother would wear. So not only the wrong season but also ugly. And the ringer is that my dopey husband spent $50 on these things. No way we're keeping ugly, over-priced shoes even for summer. If they were cute and stylish and the right price maybe I wouldn't fight the tights and sandals thing but with these? No way are we keeping them.
ETA: I'm glad I checked this outfit. The "tights" are actually even worse...nude pantyhose! Argh! This isn't about her fashion sense...she doesn't have any. This is about fashion ignorance - she really didn't know that you don't wear sandals in the winter (well she should because we had this discussion at Christmas), that nude pantyhose are not cool, that a flimsy sleeveless dress is not OK for a field trip in the winter etc. Regarding the rule that they have to wear a skirt or dress...it's sexist. I'm fine with a school telling kids to dress up for a field trip (the boys have to wear a dress shirt and tie) but until you say that boys have to wear dresses or skirts too, you can't tell girls they have to either. Girls should be able to wear dress pants.
I have to agree with Catwalk. I wouldn't fight this battle. Plus she will need sandals for the upcoming summer.
I'd let her wear the sandals with the tights if she wants to, even if it looks horrible. At 14 she can make fashion choices for herself and suffer the consequences. Honestly I believe a bit of bad decision making is required for kids to learn to make good decisions (i.e., to listen to you next time!). And this isn't a decision that will affect her health or safety, so I say just let it go. You could encourage her to throw the flats in her backpack just in case the sandals give her blisters from being new. Then she will have a quick out if people make fun of her style.
Never wear tights with sandals. She will thank you in the future for saving her from this potential fashion disaster.
And no do not let her test this, it will never be a trend, it is just too awful.
Hopefully you will find some cute flats that are in super good sale right now.
First, it is NEVER okay to wear summer shoes in winter weather, just like it's not okay to wear winter shoes in summer weather (UGGS!). It is only okay to wear them with peep toe if done RIGHT! She is 14 she needs to learn these things now. I am all for personal style but unless she has established herself in a certain way she will be asking for it should she wear those sandals.
yeah, you can also do a google search and see some pretty bad pictures if your words do not sink in.
You're right. I agree that one has to pick one's battles and clothing is not normally a critical issue, but sending her to school to get laughed at is not helping her.
If she truly loves the shoes and you think they are okay in the summer, you can keep them and buy her something sensible for now - if she'll agree. I'm sure Dad picked them because she loved them, but still, there's no mild enough winter anywhere to justify sandals.
Right!
LOL
"Dad fail!"
Hi JB-
In my humble opinion...warmth and comfort 'trumps' fashion every time!!
When I lived and worked in NYC...most women wore running shoes to and from their office...and then changed into regular shoes or whatever.
This would not be a battle I would fight. She is 14...if her peers would not have an issue, why the heck would I as the mom?
Perhaps she will start a trend...tights WITH sandals...practical, warm and the new fashion statement!!
Just my thinking...
Best Luck!
michele/cat
Consider your daughter. If the shoes were too expensive, that's one thing... but fashion..... that is your daughters call. Don't control what she wears. Pick your battles........ like if she chose a plunging neckline...... save the fight for when you need it.
Sandals in the winter - nope.
Required to wear a skirt - I would absolutely talk to the teacher and the principal. Completely sexist. Female PRESIDENTS of actual countries can wear dress pants to work. I think your daughter can too.
well, my 24yo niece is a fashion plate & I've seen her in patterned, sheer, & opaque tights ....with open-toed high-heeled sandals. She was a knockout in each outfit.
In today's world of fashion, it's "how" you put it all together....not "how" the Mamas remember doing things. All of the women in my family have learned to think outside of the box when it comes to fashion!
One of my recent favs with my niece was herringbone sheer gray tights with dark brown strappy heels with a 4" wooden heel. She wore the tights with a high-waisted black pencil skirt & a plum fitted blouse. To tie in the brown shoes, she wore chunky wooden jewelry. This is not a look I would even think of putting together ...& man, did she rock! She actually had women stopping her, strangers!, complimenting her on her outfit! Who the heck combines grey tights, brown shoes...with a plum & black outfit??? Lesson learned for all of us!
Another thing my niece likes is using capri-length leggings instead of tights or hose. She combines the leggings with dresses of all styles & lengths. & I have to admit....the last time I wore my long, straight skirt...I wore black leggings under it with my knee-high boots! Totally rocked & I got a lot of compliments! & I'm a plus-size....not a size 3 like my niece. :)
Sooo, how about experimenting? What would tights & leggings look like with the dress? Would it move it into ballerina workout? Would it look like dance clothes? My niece does this a lot! If she wore leggings would you allow her to go barefooted? Try to think outside of the box...many, many looks work well today!
Oh, & please, please work with the sandals....she's 14, Dad okayed them, & it's almost Spring!
One more story: my niece is a teacher. On Friday, she wore dress jeans for casual Friday. Normally, she doesn't embrace casual Friday. One of her students said, "Ms. B, I must say you look different today. Good, but different". My niece asked her student to elaborate & boy, did she get hit! The student said, "you know, you look less runway & more like you're going to Walmart to buy groceries". Too funny!
I have a 14 yo daughter. Anything goes. She wears what she likes. In fact, it's ME consulting HER about what's taboo these days.
Unless it's sexually inappropriate, or rude in some way, she decides what she wants to wear.
I'd def say, well you're gonna be cold, or your feet will be killing you, but I would not forbid her from making what I might consider a fashion mistake, no.
I choose peace.
:)
hahaha! that is a super funny mental picture. I used to use my Birks as house shoes/driving shoes and showed up at day care many a morning in the hosiery/sandal combo and a suit. Too funny.
nothing to add, you already put up the SWH, but had to share this made my morining - guess I need a laugh.
If your daughter is okay with the look --go with it. Don't hurt dad's feelings.
Another issue--why are you complaining that they have to wear a dress. I think that is great in today's world!
