My three year old son does not like to talk to other children at all. He will run around and chase them or play with a toy close by other children, but as soon as they talk to him at all then his whole demeanor changes. He gets completely still, will not look at them, and starts to mumble. He loves all of my adult friends and any other adult friend of the family. He will talk an adult's ear off and could carry on a conversation with them all day. But when it comes to children, he becomes very anxious and shy. I'm a stay at home mom and he has not gone to preschool yet (He is enrolled for next fall.) BUT I have play groups 2-4 times a week and I always take him to the park or other types of social settings (library, children museums, train set at Barnes & Noble). I was just wondering if anyone has any advice that I could try out to ease him into a social existence. Maybe I'm overly worried for nothing because my son is a very happy little boy & doesn't even notice that he never talks to children. Please help.
my son would do the same thing, but he had a speech delay due to a hearing problem. My advice would be start off with just one good friend that he will open up to, he may feel overwhelmed with all the other kids around. My son is 4 1/2 now and will have his moments, but for the most part, loves to play with anyone now.
He may be having some social anxiety that may need to be discussed with your childs doctor. He will probably grow out of it but maybe your doctor can offer you some resources that could give him a jumpstart.I was a shy child also...even at 13 when I first met my husband I wouldnt order things on the phone or in drive thru's. And I wouldnt speak to anyone I didn't know well. I'm past that now but it took him forcing me to do those things to get over it.
Hi H.,
I'm wondering if the other 3 year olds that your son plays with have the same language developmental level. When my daughter was 1 1/2 she was already speaking in six word sentences. For this reason we found that we could not/ would not, let her play with the kids her age who were grunting and pointing to talk. She always played with kids older than her that she could actually talk to. We even had her put in a day care where they agreed to put her in the older class because of her language development. To this day, she is 12 now, she still keeps in touch with those older kids from years ago and has always been at the top of her class. Just a thought. Hope it gives you ideas.
My almost three year old is the same way. I also stay at home. He is very articulate and has advanced verbal skills, but only would talk to adults (any adult, will talk their ear off) but seemed genuinely afraid of other kids. Even though we have been to play groups, YMCA classes etc. So we put him in preschool two days a week at the start of January. Well this weekend we met a couple of other families for a get together he was actually initiating conversations with other kids who were similar in age. I was so proud and excited. It seems being with other kids independent of me is really making a difference. So hang in there I'm sure he will start to open up.
Hi H.:
I had a very introverted son when it to came fitting in with and playing with friends his own age. If the issue of him not talking to the other children is a point of constant discussion and spotlight then try the opposition and not mention it or even tell him it is not important. This is something he will work out on his terms when he is ready.
RSL
