The Terrible ONES!!

lol... totally.

My 2 favorite house rules:

1) If you whine ... you don't get what you want

2) If you throw a fit ... you don't get what you want AND you go on timeout

:) R

mmmmm... I should add: we never did the minute per age thing. Timeouts for our family aren't punishments, but a time to cool off and "think about it" (which includes what happened, why, and what would be BETTER to do next time). First kiddo has to calm down completely and THEN he has to be able to answer all questions. Since toddlers have the memory of gnats I would frequently REMIND kiddo of why he was on timeout, and what he had to do to come off of it.

An average timeout from 1-7 has been 5-15 minutes. A long one, where he's still throwing a fit 15 minutes in or we have a LONG talk 'bout it can last for up to an hour or so. At 1-3 we never talked for that long, but he'd frequently either still be throwing the fit, or wouldn't actually be calm yet, and they'd go a good half hour. By 3 he started putting himself on timeout when he felt himself losing it. Self-made timeouts have no requirements, other than privacy (aka, in nearly all cases, "I'm going on time out" requires the other people in the house to respect their privacy while they're cooling off.)

I am laughing and reading this to my husband. I could have wrote this exactly regarding my 20 month old son, including the yo baby yogurt. He tries to even dictate where I am to sit.

My issue is I don't want to give in all the time but I want to pick my battles and I find it confusing when to enforce or let it go.

I can't wait to see what others say. Just to let you know you are not alone!

She knows what she wants, but demanding is inappropriate behavior. If she is the youngest, then I can understand why this is happening a little earlier. Children usually go through the discovery of self-independence roughly around every 6 months. Once it's discovered, they put it to the test! She is simply testing her boundaries of what she can and can't do. With that being said, older siblings are inspiring for her to try it out sooner. You're doing great! Keep giving her options between one or the other. If she doesn't want either one then don't give her either one (or a new option)... she will eventually come to you when she decides she changed her mind and wanted that one :) Stay firm to giving her time-outs! Don't say she'll get a time-out for doing something, and when she does it you don't give her a time-out. This will probably be a time of LOTS of time-outs and it will require a great deal of patience from you. Children raised by the same parents grow up in their own unique way (compared to their siblings). My brother, sister and I were SOOOO different when we were younger. Our mother reminds us of the many different trials she had with each of us lol every chance she gets. Your daughter will soon learn and understand what her boundaries are and things should get easier, but around the corner will be another test. Take a deep breath (a few more if you need to), stay consistent and keep doing a great job!!!

You say you are spending all day with her - how do you get anything done? I'm not saying you should pawn her off on a babysitter, but she does need time to explore and do things on her own.

In any case, that is how one year olds are, don't let it bother you, if you can, find some music or something else to do when you get frustrated. She actually might change dramatically when she turns two (my M., said she always noticed an immediate change on birthdays). If that is the case you'll be on to new challenges in just four months. Good luck!

Hi Robyn - yes this is so difficult a stage!! They have been the center of the universe up until now and they just want to stay the master of the universe. I encourage you to keep giving her choices and understand that she is going to be really fickle with her choices and with you.

Allow her some room (and yourself as well) to play on her own or with playdates so that she doesnt mistake you for one of her toys. Set your boundaries with her and be patient. Don't feel like you need to correct her in a negative way everytime she gets bossy. Its okay to correct with a light touch and some humor. I also encourage you to completely ignore her whining and tantrums and in fact separate yourself from her just a bit. Walk out of the room or look the other way so as not to reinforce the behavior. I hope that helps you a little!