Terrible Two's Are Really Terrible....HELP!!!

So I have a terrible 2 year old. These are the things that have worked for me: 1. Take away ALL his toys. I make him earn them back. He gets a toy when he is good and when he is bad he loses it again and has to work for it all over again. Also I Tivo his favorite Noggin shows and they are his rewards as well. 2. Time out in his crib - where he cannot escape at the moment. He HATES it but it works for a while when he comes out. Otherwise, all I can say is you have to persistent keep putting them back - without saying a Word. Just stand a few feet back and when either one escapes, take them by the hand with a bit a firm grip and put them back. Try it - you'll be amazed that when you do it without uttering a word, they react differently. however you may be there like 30 min for the 2-3 min time out they require. But after a while, you'll find that they will stay put. and finally 3. The wooden spoon. I literally have had to use it like 3 times ever, but it got the message across, and now I only have to show it to him. If I don't have a spoon on me - like in public - I also use the flick. You can control how hard you flick, My son also hates it, but then in public I just show him that he is about to get a flick and that helps him straighten up. Hope these ideas workout

HI GiannaR.-You have to be consistent with what you do.Boys are not easy going two`s are not as bad as 4s.4 year old will tell you a lot more and will argue wit you and will test you to the limits til you lose it./or they say if you wont give it to me i wont be your best friend/-ha ha.I have $ yer old boy and he drive me crazy,but what we did is the behavior chart.If he earns more smiley faces than bad he get one candy from treasure box-and he do anything for candie.There are bad day too and a lot of crying whinnying but stick with it it does help especially with boys.

time out is supposed to be 1 minute per year they are. 2 it doesn't start till they are quiet. i always try to reward mine for good behavior. my 3 yr old is horrid :p i love her but she is the worst case of terrible 2's i have had and i have 3 kids. if it gets to the point i about to snap i'll take a 5 minute break, staep out the front door and smoke a cig or sit and watch the starts something to just get me seperate from her. she generally is standing there banging on the door asking what ya doing then start yelling cause she can't come out with me but it lets me recharge foe a sec and i can face her again. gl

I totally feel your pain. My daughter is going to be 4 in February and went through a terrible biting phase. Most of it they just have to grow out of. I found it helps to spend one on one time with her, I know you're busy with 3 little ones on your hands. Rewarding them is sometimes easier though than using any disciplinary actions. If they know (and at that age they DO understand) that they will only get something if their behavior merits, you might see faster results as opposed to the time out thing. Time out at that age only works for about 2-5 minutes, if even that long. Their attention span is far too short to get them to not wiggle, or to even remember 30 minutes later why they were punished. Just remember, they'll never be this little ever again, and try to enjoy it.

Hey G.,
Sounds like you have double trouble!
Yeah, I also have a two year old, not twins (Thank goodness! :-)
He alone drives me up the wall sometimes!
What has helped me is CONSISTENT time out. My son will not stay in the corner either, but I put him in his room and he lays down in his bed and I shut the door (with the doorknob covers on the doorknob of course!) and he lays in his bed and cries for a minute or two, then I go in the there and tell him to stop crying (he always stops) and I tell him, we do not --enter here what he did----. I tell him to say sorry (which he always does). And if he hit someone I tell him to hug and say sorry to the person.

Sometimes hubby and I play hit, each other...and I then I send Daddy into timeout, my son REALLY seems to get really into it when Daddy is in timeout. :-)

Also whenever he is just sitting quietly playing, I give him a car sticker (he loves cars) or a tictac (he loves tictacs). I tell him when he's a good boy he makes mommy and daddy happy, and when that happens he will get a treat.

Try and reward your boys for good behavior and try not to focus on the bad. Just make sure you are consistent!

i am a mom of twin girls. they switch personalities about every 6 months. mine are now 7 and i have let them duke it out on their own. you might want to start only saying something once and then they're in trouble. if they haven't done anything to their little brother yet - most likely they won't. my girls love all little ones. good-luck

I really feel were u are coming from with that , I have two boys my self one is 7 yrs old and the other one is 3 yrs ols going to be 4 yrs old next month well the little one always bother the big one and be saying that the little one be hitting hinm but at times when they think that , I am not looking is not true look this is what , I would do is sitting down and talk to them and let them know that they are brothers and there are not to be fighting get you at least two time out chairs and let them know that they will be sitting there if they misbehave at least for a minute each and take away what they like the most . I know that is easy to be said then done but trust till this day , I have that problem cause the little one thinks that he is big . Let me know if that works for u ..... GOOD LUCK

After sending you the message I sent that was private I noticed that their is a message from another mother who has read some of your other posts! And from my understanding your boyfriend is hurting you! Or abusing you? If he is and the kids see that then that is probably why they are the way you are because that is most likely the cause of their rage and behavior problems! If they see this or whatever they will act that way to each other! It is a known fact and I have taken my son to anger management and that is also what the psychiatrists have said! That children is abusive relationships are more likely to act out and missbehave tward other people and siblings than children raised in non hostial families! But children in hostial or abusive families are more likely to act out! Which I believe it to be true cause my ex and I fought so much when my children were little! They were good until they started hearing the arguing!Anyhow please follow my advise it should help and yes the other mother is correct you should get away from him even if it hurts inside get away before he hurts you or one of the kids really bad! Good luck and you are in my prayers!

You must first take them out of the violent, negative atmosphere and teach them by your actions that hitting, spitting, yelling, and such is not acceptable.
Not allowing that behavior around them is your first and foremost step.

I have twin boys also and they are also 2. The first thing I have to say is they are 2, and not only are they 2 but they are boys! My boys have their moments of all out fighting, but the MOST we can do it pull them apart and let them know it's not nice to hit and fight with each other, but you have to remember at ALL times they are 2 and they aren't going to probably retain the information you told them. Just keep reinforcing good behavior, if they are playing nice together let them know that. Also, my boys sometimes like to play and fight and they start laughing instead of crying so it could be play fun too. I can completely understand where your concerns lie but all in all they are boys and they are 2! =)
Hopefully I helped some, just try your best to take a deep breath before you seperate them, because you don't want to get mad you just want them to calm down and in order for that to happen you have to be calm yourself! =) Good Luck!

Wow, that's a bunch to handle at your age (at any age!!) The best advice I have is to take it day to day and TRY not to raise your voice. Sometimes those little ones just don't know how to contain the extra energy. Try to have scheduled outside time where they can get wild and then rewards for good behavior. I started with a happy face, sad face chart where my daughter could "buy" favorite activities with her happy faces. There will be days where you feel like you have no control (no matter what you do) Just make some schedule and let all the kids learn that they will have more fun time with mommy when SHE is happy with them...

Hello G.,

I hope that you and your family had a wonderful Christmas.
I looked through all of the post's that you have put on mama source. It sure does sound like you have a lot to deal with.
I am sorry that you have so much to deal with at such a young age.

In regardes to you and the man in your life, i know that you love him and that you two have 3 kids together, but hitting is WRONG and all of the fighting has to STOP!!!
reason #1 and #2 you have twin boys!
reason #3 you have a baby!

Your mother is hurting seeing her baby girl and her grandchildren going through hell. This is not good for your mom.

You need to think about your little ones, how would you feel if one of your sons ((as a 19 year old young man)) was living with you with his girl friend and your grandchildren. How would you feel if you had to see her mistreat him and your grandchildren. Don't you think that, that would hurt you?

You might love this man with all of your heart but you need to think of those kids FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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about the boys, if they are hurting one another than they are doing what they are used to seeing!

You as a mother, needs to make sure that you do not yell at them when you get mad at them for not listening. They are little boys and they will try to push your buttons and that is normal, but they are not robots and they can not do everything right all of the time.

Try to talk to them but they are to little to understand.

Get down on your knee's and talk to them in a loving and sweet way. Talk to them with kindness about how much you love them and how important it is to be a good boy. Tell them all of the things that you as a mother need to teach them so that they can grow up to be good young men.

IF THEY SEE MOMMY LOSING CONTROL OR DADDY, THEY WILL ALSO BEHAVE LIKE THAT.

They do what they are taught.

I am sorry if some of this sounds harsh but it is true.

I am 30 and i have 3 kids and i have been married for 11 and 1/2 years. So yes i do understand where you are coming from.
My husband has never hit me and i would never allow something like that.

When it comes to kids. You need to make every situation a good one. If one or more of the kids is yelling or screaming or if they are out of control then you need to say, I am going to count to THREE and when i say THREE i am going to tickle you all over and give you hugs and kisses.
And just like that count to THREE and then tickle the one that needs
to get tickled and give silly hugs and big wet kisses and then that will change what is going on.

Try to make their childhood a pleasant one. You want them to love you not hate you.

There will be times when they will need to be spanked. But go easy on them. They are gifts from GOD.

I have a poem that a friend sent to me and i want to share it with you.
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TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.
Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.
Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..
Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.
Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.
Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.. !
Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.
Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.
Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.
Just for this evening when I run my fingers through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.
I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day......... .....

Hi. I am a 29 year old father. Me and my wife have had a wonderful life together. God blessed us with a child. Our daughter's name is Rachel, and she is 10 years old. Not long ago did the doctors detect brain cancer in her little body.

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Take good care of your little ones and thank GOD every day for them.

Life is hard, but it is what you make of it.

I do not know if you have the LORD in your heart, but you need to find a church near your home to go to so that you can be with the LORD.

I will pray for you and may the Good Lord bless you and your family.

If you want to talk to me than send me a reply with this message.

From one mother to another.
:)

Sorry Hun I hate to break it to ya but this is a phase they all go through. Just be firm with them never cave cause if you do they will just get worse. I dont know what kind of discipline you do but i know with mine a small pop on the butt would do much better than time out. But whatever you do just be firm and consistant. Its not called terrible twos for nothing.

A.