Terrible Sleeper

I understand your frustration but your daughter is trying to tell you something. There is no reason to let her cry it out because that will only make it worse since she will lose her trust in you. Please don't be afraid to comfort her as it sounds like she still has nighttime needs. There is no magical age that babies sleep through the night as this is all very individual. Perhaps she has other food allergies. You will not discover the source of her troubles unless you stay close to her at night. You'll have the rest of your life to sleep and spend time by yourself. She is only a baby for so long. All the best.

In my opinion, letting her cry is not the answer. She needs something from you. Sleeping 5 hours IS considered sleeping through the night. Breastmilk is very quickly digested and this is why she is probably waking. But don't give her anything else as it is the best food for her.

I had to go back to work at 10 weeks with my son and he was very colicky and woke alot at night like your daughter. What worked for me is that I would put him to bed in his crib and go to bed when he did. Then I would get 4-5 hours of sleep most nights. Then when he woke, I would bring him to bed with us and he would nurse off and on while cosleeping until I had to get up in the morning. This gave me some uninterrupted sleep and still let me rest when he needed me. Everyone tried to tell me that I needed to let him cry it out, but I stuck to my guns. Then when he was about a year old I tried to break him of the cosleeping by using a method developed by Elizabeth Pantley in "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". In a nutshell, I would still bring him to bed, but I would only let him nurse for a few seconds, and then take him off. If he fussed, I would put him back on, but again, only for a few seconds, and each time you decrease the amount of time you let them stay on. You have to stay awake and alert, but for me it only took about a week and then he stopped waking because he knew that he wasn't going to get to nurse constantly if he came to bed with us. I would also keep track of when he woke and when he nursed and over time you could see the intervals getting less and less. At that point I knew he was getting plenty of solid food to keep him satisfied through the night, and then I would just nurse him before I left to work and he would go right back to sleep until Daddy got him up. My son goes to sleep great now, he learned himself with time how to soothe himself, and he is confident that if he needs me, I will be there. I hope this helps. I highly reccommend that book.

I would also suggest that she could be teething, and in this case she definetly needs some comfort. When they are in pain, you have to do what you can. The pain will pass eventually and the sleeping schedule will get better.

I would also suggest trying a white noise cd or sound maker. This was extremely soothing to my son and was the only thing that would calm him slightly when he was colicky.

Good luck! I know it seems it will never end right now, but they are only this young for a short time, and their confidence and trust in you for attending to their needs when they are young will affect their trust in you their whole life long.

I have often said that my son (12 months) was the worst sleeper in the entire world too... He didn't STTN until 9 months and has only recently started STTN again (and by STTN I mean 7 pm - 5 am, feed once and back down until 7 am).

We've tried everything. He won't co-sleep with us because he's too stimulated by our presence. We've tried soothing as soon as he cries, we've let him CIO, we've tried using "soothing" CD's... What I've finally realized with him is that it's a developmental thing. He was also colicky & didn't sleep in the first 4 months and he's just way way behind on his sleep patterns compared to other kids.

Your daughter will get it. She will STTN when she's ready, which is probably a lot later than you will want her to do it. I don't know how you feel about having "loveys" in the crib, but that has worked with my son -- we have a small blanket with a stuffed dog head on it and a crocheted blanket and that helps him soothe himself back to sleep (we've had it in the crib since about 6 months). He's also very strong and can walk/crawl/roll, so I'm not worried about SIDS.

I hope that things get better for you soon -- I know how rough it is and how it feels to dread going to sleep at night... Make sure you take naps when she does!

I know there are tons of books to read... but there is a very quick book that really helped me..

It is called how to get your 12 week old to sleep 12 hours.. and it really gets you to put your baby on a schedule... it is a very quick book and really really helpful...

I hope this helps...

I don't have time to read the other replies today. So sorry if my suggestion is a duplicate. I just weaned my 32 month old son who was exclusively breastfed until nine months old. My pediatrician, Dr Minkus, explained that when the feeding were clustering together, it was an indication to start finely chopped and mashed table food--starting with bananas first.

Also, is it possible that your daughter suffers from reflux. My son was very uncomfortable with refux until about 3 months old, when I discovered his allergies to wheat, soy and dairy present in my breast milk. Is there anyway to safely elevate the top of her crib?

Hope this helps and Good Luck!!

Natasha:

You sound exactly like me! My daughter did not have colic, but had a horrible time sleeping through the night (up every 2-3 hours needing to be soothed, fed, rocked), but EVENTUALLY did around 9mo. She is 10mo. now and she still has her moments. I couldn't let her cry, so I was a zombie and waited it out. Numerous friends told me 9mo. was the turning point for their children too. I admit I did some Fuber, but nothing too extensive. I also tried the 10min, 10min, 10 thing (going in consistently every 10 minutes until she feel back to sleep). I even slept on her floor with my arm in the crib railing for a few nights. I know it sounds extreme, but could you put a matress in your baby's room or put a co-sleeper next to your bed? at least you would have physical space, but be close to her.

Just know you are not alone and it WILL end. I couldn't hear it at the time, but glad I got the advise. Hang it there and be good to yourself. Do what your intutition says.

J.

I feel for you my 18month old boy did the same thing for aboout 10 months. He had the milk intolerance, colicky thing, and a really bad case of reflux. He used to do the gagging thing also, have you ever thought she might have reflux? Just an idea? When we finally got all the diagnosis' undercontroll it took alot of tough love before he slept good and through the night. I agree that they get used to the comfort but that is not healthy for you or your husband. If you know she isn't in pain, you might want to try putting a pack-n-play in a different room and let her cry. We have no idea why that worked for our son but now he loves going in his pack-n-play! Good luck and know that it is just a phase, a long and horrible one, but a phase anyway!
D.

"Babywise" will do the trick - everyone I know who has done this never had sleep issues - and everyone I know who co-sleeps or feeds on demand, etc does. Ezzo is the author.

Here's a summary: our daughter was sleeping 6 hours a night by 6 weeks, 8 hours by 8 weeks. At 11 months she is at 11 hours a night with a 1 hour AM nap and a 2 hour PM nap.

I don't buy into the whole, "This is my child's personality game - he just doesn't like to sleep." We are the parents. Let's start acting like it. Babies need 15 hours of sleep a day until like year 1 or something. Anything less is sleep deprivation and no wonder a baby is cranky or unpredicatable.

Best wishes while you figure this out.

PS: I know I'm going to be in the minority - lots of folks don't like Ezzo - they treat him like a nut! But his methodology works on several levels. I actually started it because I believed Ezzo's whole metabolism argument. The sleeping thru the night was just a nice side benefit.

Oh I feel for you, I too had a HORRIBLE sleeper. I was diagnosed with sleep deprevation when she was only 4 months. My daughter had reflux and she had to sleep in her car seat until she was 6 months old. She was up every 2-3 hours (and that is bottle fed) because I could not feed her very much because she would just throw it up. So with that she was so used to getting up all the time to eat that when she was able to sleep in her crib and the reflux was not as bad she still got up every 2-3 hours looking for that little bit to eat. I started leaving a bottle of water (very little in the bottle) in her crib so she can just take it to soothe herself back to sleep. I know that is SOOOO wrong to do but I had to do what was best for my sanity at the time. I also just let her cry it out and she got it that I wasn't coming to her calling anymore. At 13 months she finally started sleeping through the night without a water bottle.She is now 19 months and at 7:15 every night she's ready for bed grabs her blanket and goes to her room for bed and doesn't wake up until 8 the next morning.It may seem as though these sleepless nights will never end (Trust me I never thought they would) But they do. The thing about infants/toddlers is that there sleep pattern always changes without warning but one day you will wake up and say "I just slept through the night". My battle now is my 4 yr old waking up with night terrors, not as bad but I long for a good week of undisturbed sleep.
Good luck and hang in there it does get better.
The co-sleep thing I would bite that one in the butt A.S.A.P otherwise she will always want to sleep with you, I love my "ME" time and every mom deserves that time even if is only when you are sleeping

I am really sorry about your problem.
However, co-sleeping, ironically, could provide all of you with the most sleep. Please don't ever let your baby vomit. This can be very dangerous because babies can choke on it.
Give your baby more time to be a better sleeper.
Amy

I also had a terrible sleeper and we also discovered she had milk protein allergies at one year. I breastfed her till 12 months. What I didn't know is that she was also allergic to eggs. She had horrible gas, and who knows what else which kept her awake. I lost so much sleep I thought I was going to die! (meanwhile post partum was setting in and I finally got diagnosed at 5 months) Anyway we would let her cry it out and that was the only thing which ever worked for her. She also had asthma which meant there was lots of holding. She'd get used to being held when sick, then it was hard to break her once she was better. I know that they are creatures of habit and after a few nights of crying it out she would sleep through the night until she got sick again. It sounds and feels cruel, but it was the only thing that worked for us. You think you will put your fist through a wall, but it does work and I know she doesn't remember a thing! She is now at 4 a great sleeper, but it took forever for her to let me sleep through the night and I tried everything! But just know there is hope, and it does get better. The crying out is not for everyone so you are the best judge. Good Luck!

Co-sleeping isn't everyone's first choice, but it may be what she really needs. Some babies are more "touchy" and they need their parents' presence to be calm. That's ok, it's who she is, and it may be wise not to fight it but to think about how you can make it work. Seems that the current solution isn't working, so you may try to consider co-sleeping and finding other ways to get your "alone" time. My sister didn't co-sleep with her first son and wasn't in favor but her second son didn't give her an option. So they co-slept and he was much calmer. Now he is six and has been sleeping in his own bed for years (so whoever wrote that they will never want to go out was wrong) and both he and my sister were much happier for it. Sometimes we need to be flexible and adapt to our children's needs. Every child is different and deserves to have parenting that suits her. There is no one-size-fits-all way to make for a happy well-rested baby. I hope this helps!