Hi R. -
I'm originally from OKC, and all my family still lives there. If you're deciding between Norman and Edmond, it will be a tough choice, as they are completely different types of cities. Norman is a college town. OU (oh, and by the way, you better buy some OU stuff quickly - it's a huge deal in Oklahoma no matter what part you live in) Anyway, Norman is very geared to college kids, the whole college experience, sooner football, etc. Although to us here in Dallas, it seems like just a little suburb, in OKC, Norman isn't considered a suburb - if you live in Norman, you shop, socialize, etc. in Norman. That is starting to change a bit, but it is still the mentality. So if your husband is working in OKC, his coworkers probably will not live in Norman, so socializing will be more challenging.
Edmond is, say, Plano - it's the "hip" place to live. It USED to be a college type town, not really connected to OKC, but that is now changed, and most young families aspire to move to Edmond. Big, newer houses, great neighborhoods, yuppie stores (Edmond I think was first to get a Starbucks, if that tells you anything(, great school districts. Most of your rush hour traffic snarls are to and from Edmond (although OKC's version of traffic is very different from Dallas).
OKC is small enough that no matter where you live, you'll still feel a part of the city, unlike here in Dallas. Other great areas for young families can be found in Moore, Mustang, Piedmont...It just depends on what you want out of a town - Do you want the separate small town feel, or do you want a suburb-type town that identifies itself with OKC?
Feel free to ask me questions about the area - I'll be happy to answer anything and everything. Good luck on your move!
S.