Telephonus Interruptus... What Do I Do with an Interruptor?

I have told my kids if there is no emergency (blood, bones, fire, flood) and they interrupt me on the phone (or wake me up in the morning) then the answer is "NO" to whatever it is they want. The point being, there is no reason to ask because they already know the answer. It even works sometimes. lol

Hi C., You are right, this is something that EVERYONE (adults included) are guilty of. We all want to be the center of attention. So when someone is on the phone (at the door, on the computer) it is natural and normal to want to be a part of that.

Here are some suggestions that you may want to try:

1. Have a special activity or toy for your son to have while you or hubby are on the phone. This toy/activity comes out ONLY when you are on the phone.

2. Allow him the opportunity to make his own phone calls. He can call grandma and grandpa, daddy at work, anyone, just give him the opportunity to use the phone and see that what it does and how it works. He is old enough to understand and young enough to tire of it quickly.

3. If you have call display, let him answer the phone as often as he can. Call him your "assistant" teach him to answer the phone by saying "Hello Sam speaking, who is calling please?" My girls have been doing that since they were old enough to understand. Family thinks it is cute, let thme know what you are doing so they can help teach him from the other end. They should say, "hello Sam this is grandma, how are you? (polite chit chat) then, May I speak to your mommy please?" You will have to practice this. The first few times he may not want to give up the phone, that is where the person on the other end comes in, they will have to hang up, not engage him to stay on the phone longer.

C., just like with everything we do, we need to be taught. Punishment does not work, it never has, it never will. Education, training and guidance is the only way. And YES you will tell him 10 times a day...and you will be calm about it...think about it...EVERYONE needs to be constantly reminded of EVERYTHING...just take a drive and see how many speed limit signs there are "reminding you", "training you", "guiding you" to follow the rules. Please don't expect your son to be any different.

B.
Family Wellness Coach

Some times our little sweeties are afraid that they will forget some VITAL piece of trivia. In addition to training (and time) you could try asking your little one to write a message or draw a picture that will either tell you what they want to communicate or remind them of what they want to tell you. I've heard this works well. (My kiddos have been highly resistant to this idea.)

Good luck!

Hi C.,
This is very very normal and kids will do this to their parents until they are teenagers and beyond! My kids (ages 2 and 6) will be playing quietly, in their own world, little perfect angels and no matter how sneaky I am they ALWAYS without fail find me within seconds when I'm on the phone and start making noise and interrupting and fighting, etc. Every friend and relative I know with kids complains about this. It's some sort of nature's way... kids unconsciously feel threatened by it and need to challenge you for the attention. I wholeheartedly agree with Barbilee that simply disciplining is not going to solve the problem. As parents, it's our job to teach our children how to behave (not just how NOT to behave) and give them the tools they need to do this. They need alternative outlets. In addition, the parent needs to do what they can to make the situation run smoother. So when your husband is on an important call, he should go into a separate room and lock the door. Just like when Dad is in the bathroom, tell your child that he needs privacy. If the child gets upset, you can find ways to distract him, but at least Dad is not being interrupted. I also think it's a great idea (as mentioned by others here) to let your child have some role playing in the use of the phone so he feels important. Children just want to be heard and understood. It will help to acknowledge his feelings - saying his name "wants to talk to Dad right now, too, doesn't he?" or "child's name" wants to talk on the phone like a big boy like Dad, huh? and then gently explain the rules and give some solutions he can understand. It will also help (if it's feasible depending on the situation) to give your child some warning time so he knows what to expect. For example, when you know you or hubby needs to make an important call, take some time to play with your child first, a game, or even using the phone, or reading a book, etc. and talk about this upcoming phone call and how after Mom/Dad is done playing with you, I need to do some work on the phone while you watch your favorite show and then when I'm done, we can play again or have a treat. Children do much better when they are on a schedule and know exactly what to expect and when their needs are being met, it's easier for them. I know it's hard and life does not always permit the time it might take so it has to be a flexible routine and just do the best you can. This will not be an overnight fix and children will still be children --- learning to be an adult, having patience, understanding, being polite, etc. takes years of practice. They learn by example, praise, and feeling understood. But just know that this interrupting phone thing is a tough cookie to break! Just one of those things in life we laugh about later with friends since it's so common! Hope this helps! Took me years of reading and experience to get it. :)Best, K.

Great responses so far! I just have to add one that my sister taught me. She had her young boys sit quietly next to her (if the phone call was not sensitive) and hold her hand until the phone call ended. She told them that holding her hand would help remind them what was so important. She would let me know if I was talking to her that her son was holding her hand. At the time, she had 3 little boys. One phone call she mentioned (giggling) that if I saw her right then I would see her holding hands in a chain with all three (waiting patiently). Yes, it takes time to train them, but it took time to train us, too!

Can't you engage him while your husband is on the phone? Or can your husband go talk in another room with the door shut? Or outside? My daughter is an interrupter as well, I guess all kids are! I try to make my calls when my husband is home so she has his full attention - same with my husband, he makes his calls when I am available to focus on her.

This is what I tell my daughter that works 75% of the time, the rest of the time she gets disciplined. "If you are not bleeding, don't have broken bones, the house is not on fire (I think you get the message) then do not, I repeat, do not interrupt Mommy while she is on the phone". "Only & I mean only when you have an emergency can you interrupt me when I am on the phone". It may take a few times of sitting in time out or whatever you use for discipline before he gets the hang of it, but he will.

Good luck & God Bless!

Thats what kids do. Maybe your husband should take the time to respond to your son.....it only takes a second. Otherwise, your son may think that he is not important enough.
Good luck!

you didn't mention the age of the one doing the interupting, if it's a school age child send them to their room if they are being disruptive, a small toddler child you take charge of. you did mention an age sorry. Your child is old enough to know that is rude. Have daddy discipline when he gets off the phone. J.

Children hate it when their parents are concentrating on something besides them. They also hate feeling left out. A parent on the phone pushes both of those buttons. (Husbands are occasionally guilty of this, as well. :D)

Insist that he stay in another room when you or your husband is on the phone. It will frustrate him, but he should (eventually!) learn that he's quiet, or he's separated.