Teenager - Springdale,AR

I don't know, I think less time should be spent on how to be interesting to a guy. More time should be spent talking about how she IS interesting, and doesn't need to act a certain way (or pretend to be unavailable.) to keep his interest. And talking about birth control and protection from STDS. Lots of time spent talking about that.

They've been together for 1 1/2 years and are well past the interesting/disinteresting game. and that is what it is a game. It's much more important to be confident and an interesting person than to play like you're not interested.

Sounds like you're concerned that she will be waiting by the phone and miss other opportunities to date. Just give it time. I suggest that being an hour apart will become tiresome and she will date others, if you don't push her. Let her go at her own pace. Pushing usually results in pushing back which in this case would mean she'd hold out for the boy friend an hour away.

I agree with Lovinglife&lovingit when she suggests helping her out get of the house and involved in activities. Do it in such a way that the idea feels like hers.

I read your follow up post and I suggest that your daughter is doing just fine. She's involved in activities and not sitting at home pining away for him. Yes, she misses him and well she should. They've been friends for a long time.

Instead of criticizing her, praise her for her activities and for being a loyal friend. As A.M. said validate her feelings. Build her up so that she doesn't need to run to someone else (like this boy) for validation. If she's confident and feels good about herself she's going to make good decisions for her life.

You can't...and well shouldn't. Telling any child, six years old, 12 yrs old 17 trs oldany child that they shouldnt be doing that thing that they have been doing, so enjoy doing and would just assume do it anyway especially now that they've been directed to do differently...

You should be telling her all the stuff she could be doing...what does she have a passion for music sports photograph cheerleeding theatre...the list is near endless. Validate get feelings I'd, you realize him moving awayhas been heart breaking to her, that she feels devestated and you know she's hurting...and because it has been so difficult youwanba try and help I. Sine small way...offer to enroll her in classes, ask f she wants lessons of any kind, get her and her girlfriends together take them all out to somewhere cool...

The key is show her what wonderfully co stuff she could be doing how great it feels to do, the fun she can have if shed just live and experience her life and...should he call she can always call right back. If she's not having too much fun :)

Build up her worth her self assuredness and her sense if self lest she lose it to some boy. Instill independence!!!! And love her, love her, love her and all the horribly unfit choices she makes :)

I fell in love with my husband when we were both just 16. We stuck together through thick and thin and now we're 32, married, with a kid. Our love is true.

Sometimes high school sweethearts are the real deal and not all guys hate a girl who hangs on their every word and waits for their phone call with bated breath. Some guys will tell you it makes them feel loved and wanted.

Can you get her into some other activities?? Get her out of the house and less available. She sounds bored and waiting by the phone is boring to a guy--he will loose interest because its not about the chase anymore. I would try to get her out with her friends more and or limit phone time to a few times a week so she can focus on more. It may unfortunately take her falling with this relationship to realize her mistakes. GL!

M

My almost 18 year old daughter has had her boyfriend for the same length of time and I am willing to bet that her boyfriend would prefer my daughter to wait home by the phone instead of going to graduation parties or out with friends. It limits his competition!

You can't convince her of that. I have a daughter who is turning 16 this month. Either this relationship will work out, or it won't. She may have her heart broken, and you can't protect her from that - nor should you. It's one of life's experiences that she will need to go through. She may get tired of waiting for a guy that she can't see too often and missing opportunities for dating, or HE may get tired of it and the decision will be made for her. My daughter recently broke off a relationship of almost a year and a half, and I was glad that she did and has moved on to date someone else. I like the idea of varied dating/relationship experience while still in my house and under my supervision, before she leaves for college in two years.

All you can really do is support her and make her strong. This will in return empower her. If it is right for her, then it will work.

It might be disinteresting to normal guys. However, guys who like to control , even from a distance isn't a good thing. Make sure he isn't pressuring or asking her to wait by the phone, or always wanting her to visit him. I had a boyfriend when I was 18, who had to leave for college. We were two hours away, and he insisted that I call him every day, and visit him on weekends. It landed me in trouble with my parents due to lying about where I was going, when I would have to drive two hours away. I remember once I told him I was going out with some friends from school, their were some guys inthe mix as well. It didn't settle well with him, and he drove the two hours to my house right beforeI was leaving with my friends. He then went out with us. I broke it off with him right then and there.