SD is turning NINE. Already she's acting like a little teenager! She has decided she's too old to receive toys for her birthday because "it would be so embarrassing to open toys in front of friends."
She wants all those expensive gifts, more suited to a more mature person. (Of which she's not getting anyway).
She's complaining about ordering from the Kids' Menu in restaurants. Most restaurants have kids' menu for 12 and under, some are 10 and under. Those kid portions are just the right size for her, the few times we've allowed her to order an adult portion she's barely touched it. We bring the food home, but then she doesn't like leftovers. Also, like I've mentioned, adult portions are expensive and we don't like spending a lot of extra money on food she's not going to eat.
She's complaining that I'm "embarrassing her" in public. Recently we were standing in line and I was looking at something on the end cap. There was a large space between myself and the person in front of me (there were two people ahead of me in line) and then there was someone standing behind me. She kept trying to make me stand closer to the person ahead of me because there was someone behind me. And she was SO EMBARRASSED that I wouldn't move.
If I speak to her in public to ask a question or clarify something, she's SO EMBARRASSED.
She also has a crush on a boy and has been asked to be his girlfriend (we said No.)
She wants to see adult movies and listen to adult songs (we say No, but her mom lets her.)
I don't know what to do. It's like the teenage years have hit early! She's still a child in many ways. I've thought about letting her know that we will treat her more like an adult when she starts acting like one and she'll need to take on adult responsibilities in order to have more adult privileges.
I've thought about telling her that if she's too old for toys, then we need to box up and get rid of all her toys then (she still plays with her Barbies and American Girl Dolls).
She is a "Tween"
Tweens are from 9-12 years old.
Do a Google search on "Tween Development" and lots of good articles will come up.
Read it, for her and your benefit.
My friend, was a Director of a school... and she said like clock-work... the kids would 'change' per their change in development/hormones etc., from about this age spectrum, and yes, it got like this. Even with the best of kids and parents.
Oh another thing: the human brain is NOT even fully-developed until 26 years old.
When a kid says they know everything "I KNOW..." tell them that. LOL Even the most brilliant Geniuses... was a teen once... and needed Parenting.
all the best,
Susan
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P.W.
answers from
San Francisco
on
t sounds like you're handling it fine. You don't need to box up toys, just don't take these silly statements personally, and give her proper limits, as you have been doing.
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K.C.
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Philadelphia
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Can YOUR nine year old and MINE hang out together? They sound like the same child. And my 7yr old isn't far behind. I think this is all pretty normal and we'll get through it the best we can. It seems to me like you're doing fine so far. Good luck to you (and to all of us with tweens) for the upcoming teen years!
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C.P.
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Birmingham
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Lol i have a 9 year old with the exact same atitude except she loves kids menus and still eats more than the portions they give her. As far as the toys go hannah, my daughter boxed all her toys up and we gave them to needy children. In return we bought her books and pg rated movies for her room so she will still have something to do. This year she has asked for a net notebook in which we are going to get her for her birthday because she needs the responsibility of an adult and we are giving her the chance to show us she can act like an adult. I have 4 other children besides her and they all have chores except my 16 month old. So there really isnt anything extra she can do. I like ur idea of telling her if she wants to be treated as an adult then she needs to act like it. At this age they are at that point where they arent quiet yet a woman but fixing to be and they dont understand that. Listen to her and respect her wishes but u know the limits to that as well and dont let her try to boss you because if u give her too much respect she will try to push your buttons. As far as the embarrassment goes.....kiss her on the cheek in public and tell her u love her..lol...i did this and hannah now isnt too embarrassed. Good luck and i hope you have better luck with yours than i did mine. =)
