I'm a single mother to a 2 and a half year old boy. My problem is i really want to teach my son how to self feed and also eat the same type of food i am eating but everytime i try he'll either pick up the spoon and play with the food and not eat or he'll put a little in his mouth and it'll stay there for a very long time and at the end he'll spit it out. i have been feeding him mashed up food ever since he turned 1 and if it's not a smooth consistency he tends to gag on lumps and throw up, now he's about to start school in january and he needs to have learn't how to eat solids on his own, what can i do? Please help!
Thank you all so much for your advice, each one was helpful. I don't think my son has a sensory problem because last night i took him over to the neighbor's house to watch him him for a couple of hours while i ran an errand and she has 2 small kids of her own, it was almost dinner time and she gave them each a small plate of food and he ate it, not all of it but a good amount, i think watching other kids eating pretty much did it, so now i know there is no problem, i just need to find ways to get him to eat on his own.
Is there a reason he needs his food mashed up?
Physical reason? Developmental?
If not, quit giving it to him this way. Cut things up into small bites.
place a small spoon and a small fork on the table and leave him alone. If he eats great, if not, that is ok also.
At this age he needs to be feeding himself. even cereal soup, sandwiches. .. etc..
The only help a child this age will usually need, is cutting up their food.
A. that sounds like a sensory issue. Have you talked to your pediatrician about this? At his age, it's unusual to not be eating table food. I would talk to your pedi about it and look to get a referral to an occupational therapist. There is a type of sensory processing disorder called oral defensiveness. The gagging and spitting out sound like they could be that. An OT can help reduce this sensitivity. This should be covered under Early Intervention services and not cost you anything. If he is in daycare, the OT may be able come to his daycare and do his sessions there.
We go to a free meal every now and then. There is a mom there with a school aged child. She cuts his food up, loads his fork, and actually feeds him his meal. I asked her if he was handicapped, in a better way than that, she said no, he just wouldn't feed himself or eat as fast as she thought he should eat.
When he comes without her he feeds himself just fine. Her decision to enable him to be helpless around her doesn't carry over into the real world.
IF your child doesn't have health issues prohibiting him from eating then him being with other people at meal time will fix this issue.
Both of my kids were eating solids, cut small for age appropriate, at that age. My daughter is 18 months and self feeds over all ( yes, it is messy but they create the best pictures). I would talk to the ped about possible sensory challenges. I have a son who is sensory and we get challenged at times to get food into him.
Good luck
Ask your Pedi for a Swallow Study, contact Early Childhood Intervention - they stop helping at 3 time is of the essence. I agree that it could be a sensory issue. Here is the thing, if ECI is involved you often get things done faster than if they are not esp considering the time window you have and many services are done for free or little cost to you depending on your situation. Again call Dr today, ask for a Swallow Study then Call ECI (today also) and ask for an immediate evaluation.
Gamma G makes a good point - if your son doesn't have any health issues preventing him from eating "normally" then he will eventually figure it out, especially when he's not with you. Personally, I think you just need to stop feeding him. Put his food in front of him and let him eat. It's been a while for me, but I don't think you should spoon feed a child over the age of 1. Cut their food up small, yes. But actually mush it all up and put it in their mouths? NO. Talk to your pediatrician if you're worried about a serious issue.
By his age, he should be self-feeding. I would make an appointment with his pediatrician to discuss his physical abilities and also possible sensory issues. I would give him foods to try. Does he like cereal? Finger food is what I started DD on - blueberries, cereal, small bits of toast. If he chokes on lumps, make them very small bites. Or give him a spoon and not make a big deal of him making a mess with his jello. He might fuss, but if you odn't do it for him, and he's hungry, he'll figure it out.
But I suspect there's something else here, since he vomits. That's not normal.
Isn't it amazing how they put EVERYTHING into their mouth from birth but when it comes to eating on their own they suddenly get finicky?
"A caterpillar in your mouth a year ago you liked but now you are having issues with green beans?".
Have him checked for a sensory issue then go from there.
Try him on yogurt, pudding and jello.
If it's practice he needs, consider feeding him mashed potatoes in the shower and let him paint himself with it if he wants to.
Playing with your food is a learning stage!
