Teaching a Two and a Half Year Old.....

Leap Frog makes these great refrigerator magnet sets, both upper case and lower case, with a base unit. When you place the individual letter into the base unit on the fridge, it sings a catchy little tune "B says buh, B says buh, every letter makes a sound and B says buh". THis is how my son learned to recognize letters. I just stuck these at the bottom of the fridge and he would ignore them for weeks, then be obsessed with it for a few days. I didn't push it, just had it available.

At her age, it is normal to not only be easily frustrated. I think it is important to balance challenging activities with easier ones that she will find success with, and not pushing any agenda.

I swear by the Leap Frog learning toys. At age 2, my son knew his letters, numbers, colors, shapes, animals and the sounds they make, and he was able to spell his name. He loved the Fridge Phonics Magnetic Letter Set. It's about $20. I believe that really helped him out learning the alphabet. He just saw it as a fun toy. Go to ToysRUs.com and just type in Leap Frog. You'll see a ton of great toys. Also, there's no substitute for Mom helping out. Great that you're staying a part of the learning process. And remember that she's only 2 and all kids are different. It'll come to her. BTW, I've been reading to my son every night before he goes to bed. I started when he was just a few weeks old. I think that's a big help too.

Jello jigglers - when my oldest daughter was in pre-school I would make the jello & bought ABC & 123 cookie cutters. I would let each of the children make some & not only did they have a blast doing that it was a great snack too! Plus it really didn't feel like learning to them, it was something fun!

Monica,
I am a teacher and, boy, you sound just like me!!! I have a four year old, and I have been trying to teach him about the alphabet since he was about 2 and a half. LOL Your little girl and my darling boy are very smart kids who will catch on to the whole reading thing when they feel ready. You can introduce whatever you want, but don't expect instant success. Repeated exposure (even just 30 seconds at a clip) will be enough to get the ideas into her brain. Then, later, when her brain is able to take in more information, she'll be able to learn it quickly. Don't stress yourself out about it.

Then, regarding the frustration levels of the learning curve... Again, my son gets this way, too. He's getting better about continuing a task that is hard to do. He used to just give up and ask Mommy or Daddy to do it because he just couldn't do it. Since I have worked with students whose parents never took the time to show their kids how to deal with failures and learn from them, I know how important it is for me to teach my own son this valuable life lesson now, before he goes to school. So, here's my advice as a parent and as a teacher.

(You didn't tell me the name of your daughter, so I am going to call her DD.) The next time DD wants you to help her, I want you to pretend that it is hard for you to do it, too. Then, speak aloud what you are thinking in order to do the task, with a few mistakes as you go. For example, if you are helping her to put together a puzzle, then put a piece of the puzzle in the wrong place, and really try to make it fit. "Oh, why won't it fit! It should go there. " Pause, and think for a moment. "What else could I do? Maybe I could turn the piece." Try the piece in a few different directions by turning it in one direction, not haphazzardly as childrenn are prone to doing. Since you are in the absolute wrong place in the puzzle, this attempt won't work, but you have shown her one way to solve the problem. Then, let DD know that you are frustrated, but say it calmly. "This is harder than I thought! But, I can do it. Let me try another piece." Then, go through the turning process again and be successful. "Yay! I did it! I am so proud of myself. Would you like to help me do the next piece?" You can do activities like this with other toys, and real life experiences. Your self-talk will clue DD into how to problem solve without becoming frustrated to the point of shutting down. It may take a few demonstrations before she catches on, but she'll get the message eventually.

Of all the lessons that a parent can teach their child, this one is at the top of the list of needed skills for life in general. If children don't know how to learn from their mistakes, then how are they ever going to think for themselves? :-) Thank you for posting your question so that I could have this chance to stand on my soap-box. LOL Good luck to you!
S.

First let me commend you for helping your daughter learn her abc's already. As a 2nd grade teacher I can tell you that's terrific. Now, also as a teacher of young children I want to tell you to RELAX!!! She is only 2 1/2 years old. Don't expect her to be reading and writing by the time she is 3 or even 4! She is way too young to make that one-to-one connection of the letter sounds and written letter. By all means, you can keep practicing and she will eventually get it. Right now it is not developmentally appropriate for her. Be patient and have fun with her.

Monica,

It's sounds like your an excellent mom who wants the best for her child. However, it sounds like you're trying and pushing too hard. Most 3 and 4 year olds entering preschool do not know all their letters or how to spell their names. Let your daughter learn at her own pace. You're doing great! The ABC mat is a great idea, but don't expect her to follow your lead.

She's probably getting frustrated because the activity is too complicated for her or she's ready to move on to something else. Show her that sometimes you get frustrated also.

All types of books are great, read to her daily. I thought the wooden ABC and number puzzles were excellent. As I did them with my children, as I put a piece in I would say that's the letter "M". Eventually it "clicks". Children learn by repetition.

Remember learning and education about aren't just letters, reading and numbers. The summer is a great time to be outdoors. Take a nature walk. As your walking say things like let's climb "over" the rock, let's walk "around" the big tree, let's climb "up" the hill. Find some butterflies, then read the Hungry Hungry Caterpilliar and explain how a butterfly was once a caterpilliar. As the saying goes "take time to smell the roses". Go at her pace, let her explore a special stone or flower.

Go to the beach, collect shells, and compare and contrast "this one is small, this one is big, this one is smooth." Count them as you drop them into a bucket.

Take out a bunch of colored containers and play with water, talk about let's pour the water into the blue container, now the red one is empty and the blue one is full. Splash each other and have fun.

Put on your bathing suits. Get some foam type soap (you can also use shaving cream, but soap is much better) and a large piece of plastic (like a tablecloth from the $ store). Cover the plastic with the foam soap. Now draw letters, numbers, pictures, whatever. After you're done drawing, rinse off with lots of water.

Okay. This one may sound nuts. But my kids loved it. Color eggs. You can use food coloring, the directions are on the container. Show her what happens when you mix a little blue with the yellow.

The important thing is to have fun.

On the alphabet, Leapfrog has a great video I highly recommend called Letter Factory. It teaches letter recognition and the sound associated with it - all to a catchy tune you'll find yourself singing over and over. Worked well with my nephew and with both my daughters.

As a teacher, I feel a bit less unqualified telling you this; don't be offended but you are prob pushing too hard. You may not even realize it either because you aren't overtly pushing, but your daughter's frusteration is one of the first signs that she senses you'd really like her to be successful at it. Chances are that your child is very bright (she sounds it) and you noticed it early. You then jumped in enthusiastically and she senses your expectations too. This is a good thing, but in varying degrees per task. Children this age are learning at an exponential rate. Letters are just shapes for her still. Funny, foreign squiggles, actually. Her brain doesn't have the capacity to organize them all yet, let alone put them in order and understand that they stand for a sound you make with your mouth. And especially 26 of them! A song, in her head, has absolutely nothing to do with sqiggles on a paper to her. Even if she tells you she gets it, it's a small dimension of the full picture. Don't get discouraged tho', it will eventually "click"- just like advanced algebra did for you!
Right now just play with the letters; run her fingers in paint and make the letters on paper, saying the name of (approx. one letter per week) over and over as you form it on the paper. Be consistant with your method. One new thing at a time-and keep revisiting it once you think she has learned it. Point out the leter as you see it on street signs, etc. There are also games, books, toys out there galore. But don't get the ones that have too much going on, are too busy or detailed-if you are serious about wanting her to learn the letters. she will be too distracted.
Or you could just relax and play with the letters for another year and find that it will come to her just the same. And don't forget, she actually has to learn 52 letters. "Big" and "little" case letters are going to confuse her at this age. Again, I'd suggest just playing with things around the house and make the shapes of the letters out of objects you have; popsicle sticks, rice, noodles, paint, yarn, cloth strips and glue. Things with texture. Involve her other senses. After doing this for awhile she will eventually recognize the shape you are making repeatedly, just like she may have with her geometric shapes. It will be fun for both of you the day she makes a letter and tells you correctly what she made.
As for the frusteration thing with beads, etc.- it's time to teach her how to deal with frusteration, not neccesarily with how to continue the task. Attention spans can't be taught at this age, just modified or "tweaked". She sounds like she is reaching the end of her tolerance for the job yet pushing herself to continue, which is simular to what we do as adults. Teach her to set the object of her frusteration neatly aside, walk away for a few minutes and maybe do something physical (swing on a swing), then come back to it later. This will eventually help her learn how to approach a task without outright quitting and never trying it again.
Hope this helps. My own daughter, at 2 and a half, could type her name into the computer as a password in order to access her favorite websites, but she couldn't comprehend that those letters were part of the alphabet song she was singing!
M.

Monica

Relax! Your little one is 2 1/2 years old. She sounds like she is doing well. I think you are putting too much pressure on her and expecting too much. Let her have some fun. She may be getting upset because you are putting too much on her.

Relax and show her how to relax. Take her outside and show the birds, etc. Get a bird feeder and let her enjoy the activity on the bird feeder.

She may grow up thinking she must prove herself all the time in order to be loved by others, not the message you want to send either. Children are in the formative years for the first 5 years of life so this is an important time for her.

She sounds like she is smart and when she does go to school she will do well. If too much pressure is on her at such an early age, she may become too discouraged and give up trying to learn -- Relax.

D.

I'm 60 years old, have been married to the same man for 38 years I have two sons and one daughter-in-law.

These activities sound developmentally inappropriate for a 2 year old. Making bracelets and necklaces with beads is a fine motor skill (small muscles) and she's probably just not ready for that yet. Developing confidence and a love of learning should be your focus. You can foster that by choosing activities and tasks that help her to be successful. That's not to say you can't challenge her, but if she's not getting over the frustration and finding success then your expectations are too high. She's doing great already!

Read books, lots of them. Focus on the story, not the letters. Encourage development of gross motor skills (large muscles), large movement like climbing, running, dancing. (Lots of great ideas were mentioned in previous posts.) And let her initiate your activities through play. Take your cues from her.

instead of using small beads use noodles or bigger wooden beads...you're doing a great job of finding activities to do with her but you are going to frustrate her if they are above level(pay attention to the age recommendations on the box, most of the time they are right on)...as for the ABC's there's no rush! Don't let her get to the point of frustration or she won't want to do it at all...we play with good ole fashioned wood blocks(they have the colored letters and pictures on them) as we build I call out the name of the picture or letter facing my son...a couple of weeks later we were at the mall and he was pointing out all the letters in the Taco Bell sign...I was really surprised and impressed that he saw them out of context, but again no pressure and no hurry they're only baby's/toddlers for a short time! Enjoy this sweet and fun time!

Hi Monica.

I also have a 2 year old so it was good for me to read your responses as well. :)

My first son (now 5) used to watch the Leap Frog videos as well. I also really like their products and toys. The first video of the series is The Letter Factory. It sings the same song as the magnet thing the other posts were talking about. It's VERY catchy and we still use it now for my 5 year old when he's trying to read a word and he remembers all the sounds from that.

You're doing a great job, but I also agree with the other posts not to push her too much. That's when it becomes a frustrating experience for her. You need to watch when she's "done" with whatever you're doing it...even if it's right in the middle of something because you're right their attention span just isn't very long at that age. You know what else is fun, my 2 year old got this "Parents" workbook thing from someone for christmas. It had some pages that you had to put stickers in the right place, other places there was a scene and he had to place the cardboard cut outs in the right place. He liked it, but also it was like, he'd be doing it and all of a sudden jump up and say "all done" and go dancing away. So I just closed the book and onto dancing we went. :) Just follow her cues.

You're doing a great job. It's always great to hear so many moms on here who are so proactive in their kids learning and stuff. Have fun with your little girl. :)

Monica,

It is great that you are interested in teaching your daughter, but I have to say that I think she is too young for anything major. Other moms might say otherwise, but enjoying play is very important at this age. There is so much time for academics. I think that reading to her is enough. Eventually she will make the connection with the letters, in her time. Kindergarten teachers will tell you that in the beginning of the school year they see a big difference between kids who have had preschool and kids who have not, but by January, it has all evened out and the kids who had preschool learning no longer have an academic advantage. That tells me that it doesn't really matter if we are totally gung ho on the early learning...they will get it anyway.

We all want to have smart, advanced children, but a 2 year old really doesn't need academics just yet. Again, that is my opinion, but the information from Kindergarted teacher is fact. I say keep reading her books, when she gets frustrated with activities it probably just means she has had enough, and enjoy this stage. All too soon she will be in school and you'll wish you had more time just to play with her.

D.
mother of 5 amazing children

wow, she does all that. amazing!!

That's great that you are trying to work with her at home, but try not to stress out about it too much. It sounds like she's already doing great if she can spell out her name and put beads on a string. The letters of the alphabet will come eventually but if things become to stressful for her she won't want to do it anymore. If you can foster a love for learning then you will be the best off.
I taught three year olds and most of them could not recognize letters and that's okay because we are really focused more on social skills at that age. That said we did have fun with all the subject areas but really at this age the learn a GREAT deal by playing. Make sure she has a good set of blocks that she can build with an essential tool for learning and a great investment as she will use them proabably from age 2 1/2 to possibly age 8 even. Good luck to you.

It is great that you are looking to do educational activities with your daughter, however, you may want to consider whether or not they are age appropriate. Also, I would consider the pros and cons of pushing her into doing things that seem like she is not ready for. Remember that she her attentin span is very short and you may try redirecting her when she becomes frustrated and then going back to activity at a later time. She sounds like a bright little girl, and she will progress at her own speed when she is ready. If you push too much and she becomes frustrated, she may end up associating the activity with negative feelings and not want to do it at all!
Good luck.

Just thoughjt i"d echo some of the other comments. My daught also was recognizing words early on. It is early on.. enjoy the love of books with her and let her enjoy teh story and the illustrations. As she becomes more focused on details the letter and individual sounds (which in the long run are more important than the names) will come in fun while your snuggled up on teh couch reading Good Night Moon or Grouchy ladybug by Eric Carl. Its awsome that you are spending so much time with her and see her frustrations over things. At two some great activties are finger painting, stacking blocks, pretending with a baby doll or other items, exploring with color. Sounds like you have a meticulous little girl who as you help her be successful now with things she can do, it can help with pacients ( I know I spelled that wrong) with the things she can't. And remember as your looking for educational actvities- remember that imitating your daily activties like folding laundry( not perfect :-) and while "washing dishes" and playing with the bubbles seeing where they stick and where they don't, "pulling weeds" and talking feeling the dirt and the roots compared with the leaves, "watering the flowers" adn discouvering the bug flying by are all educational activties for your daughter as you show her the world and the creatures in it. AS you spend time with your daughter, enjoy the world around you---- naming the items, and using your scenses as well as hers. They are wonderful educational times that will be building a learning foundation at that learning is fun!

Hi Monica,

It's great that your daughter is so gifted! Singing and spelling words? Amazing. But remember, she is just 2 1/2 years old. That's very normal to get frustrated with small thing. Pay attention to your response to hers. If you want to teach her to calm, you must be calm when she gets frustrated, hold her hand or pat her back and say, "It's OK." Stay calm when she get's upset, don't get emotional.

Monica,

Maybe those things are a bit too structured for her yet to do for longer than a few minutes. Have you looked at Discovery Toys? They have great educational toys.

Hugs,
L.

2 1/2 is kind of young for the things you're talking about, not that you shoudn't start introducing the alphabet, but most kids don't grasp things like that so early on. As a matter of fact, my six year old knew how to spell things like you're describing back then and then completely lost it as she started to learn other things. The frustration probably stems from trying and things not working the way she wants them to, I have a four and a half year old that has been dressing herself since she was a little over a year, but still has trouble strings beads. Things like coloring and painting and hop scotch (which may also be hard) and nature walks etc., are good places to start. Simple crafts even with some play doh etc. She sounds like a very smart little girl, just be careful about pushing too much on her, she'll start to not enjoy herself.

Don't get to frustrated with her yet. I have a daughter who will be four in three weeks and when she was in the two to three year old range I thought to that she would learn the alphabet because she could speak very well and sing and remember many things. But I quickly learned I was pushing her into things that she was not ready for yet. Don't worry she will learn them. Just keeping reading the books and singing songs but don't require her to give you a lot of feedback. It is too frustrating for them when they are not ready for the task.... They can only focus on tasks for short periods of time. So if she puts ten beads on say yeah were done because soon she will get the next one. Don't end the activity with a sour note end with the positive and you will soon see a happier child I did. I hope this helps

Wow, your 2 1/2 year old is singing her ABC's perfectly, plus spells her own name and some other simple words....I tend to think that's pretty good for a child that age even if she's not making the connection with the letters you are pointing to. I tend to think she might be a bit to young to get the connection but that will come in time.

I'm wondering since she's become frustrated with the failed bead, the toy figure not wanting to stand up and other activities is a spin off of what she is following and learning from you as well?? Are you pushing and trying to hard in teaching her and getting frustrated yourself when she doesn't get it???? Are you hard on yourself when your own projects do not turn out as expected??? I do believe children pick up on these things.

A true but sad story about one of my neices and her first born: There wasn't a time when this child could sit at the table with a box of cereal or a box of anything for that matter without my niece pointing to the letters trying to get the child to repeat them. If something, anything dropped on the floor my niece would pick it up...hold it in front of the child and ask her to repeat what it was. It was on going. One day I recieve a 2hr. video tap of my niece carrying her daughter around their home....my niece pointing at objects asking her daughter to name them. The 2 1/2 year old didn't respond until the last few minutes of the tape. At age 4 this child turns to her mother and yells, "Stop teaching me already". At age 8 this child is in therapy due to bad behaviors, in school and at home...
I tend to think my Niece only thought she was trying to teach her child.....

Yeah, I tend to think it's ok to spend time with our children and teach them....but they need balance in their life as we all do. They also need the freedom to just be...create there own game as well as needing to be socialized with other children their own age.

I remember giving a 4 year old a box with a doll in it..."Baby Catch-A-Ball". We took the doll out and stood it up next to the box, in front of her. The child only played with the box. She spend hours with this box... pushed it around, crushed it, tore it up, until their was nothing left of it to play with....the child was happy and thrilled with the game she created herself....the doll she never played with...go figure. She grew up and became a surgical nurse...

Maybe when you see her get frustrated, take her in your arms and let her know it's ok. Let her experience you having a failed bead or two or a toy that wont stand up for you and laugh about it...Make the experience fun for her.

IT sounds like your daughter is doing a great job already! She knows more than most kids her age....if the frustration thing really bothers you i would talk to your pediatrician for some hints....gl....my 2 yr old has quite a short fuse also! Isnt it great?

Hi Monica -

IMO, it seems you're trying to push too much too soon...I would back off so you don't turn the "learning is fun" attitude into "learning - yuk!"

Just play with her and talk a lot to her - even if she doesn't respond, you'll be surprised at what gets "stuck" in their brains.

She's only 2 1/2 and obviously bright, so relax and enjoy her.

Best wishes -
J.

I would not be upset about her ABC's recognizing the letters is a big step. That may not come for a while or she can know them all next week. You yourself have to be patient as well. All you can do is correct her in a nice tone. Don't get upset if she doesn't get it because part of her frustration may be that she is not pleasing you.

For beading and things that develop her fine motor skills try big beads. It is wonderful that she can put beads on a string at this age but it is a very hard task for even some 5 yr olds. Look for age appropriate toys that say for 2 or 3 yrs of age. Try lacing cards they should be in any educational store. Try coloring and playdoh to help her work those little fingers and than she will be able to make her own necklace. Best wishes. Good store to look for or even look up online is Lakeshore Learning center, Lakeshorelearning.com

A little about me ......I was a preschool teacher for 6 years, with degree in Early childhood education. Now a SAHM to 2 children 2 1/2 & 1 1/2 and one on the way.

Hi Monica I too have a 2 and 1/2 year old, it is great that your spending quality time with her, but some of your activities are not age appropriate. Children her age should be learning how to play along side with other children turn taking, sharing, etc. Having play dates or going to a play group will encourage socialization and at the same time reinforce abc's and numbers. Good luck

I once heard an excellent analogy regarding educating. Two farmers in Alaska needed to build a fence. The first went out every day and chipped away at a little more frozen earth. The second went much later, when the ground was all thawed, and did it easily and quickly. They finished at the same time.

Soo... if you notice your daughter uninterested or frustrated with something, I would say focus on something else... nature based activities are especially important at this age while she's especially interested in the world around her. Fill her summer with sunshine, mudpies and beach time- in a short time she'll be stuck in school and will have to spend 8 whole hours in a classroom. As long as you read to her and instill a GREAT LOVE OF BOOKS she will always do excellent in her scholarly pursuits. If she begins to associate books with frustration because she's not really interested in sitting still and recognizing letters, no matter what you try to stuff into her brain she won't excel because her heart won't be in it. Better off having her learn that stuff when she's 5 or 6 and really interested, than now and have her associate lessons with unhappiness.

Check out the book "You are Your Child's First Teacher" by Rahima Baldwin. It's excellent.

Wow! She is very bright if she can do all of that already.
Beading is difficult, I would not overly focus on it, if she is frustrated she is not quite ready. Also do not worry about letter recognition right now...it will come....it is more important that you read a lot and she understands the story. Talk about stories you have read. Have her make her own stories. Eric Carle books are fun. You can take "Brown bear,brown bear"-- read it and then have her "remake" the book with your own animals. Have her color them...you write the words and read it !!! Making books together can be fun and educational...but you'll have to do most of the work...don't let her get frustrated.
As she gets a little older remember that reading or word recognition in a pre-schooler (age 3-4) is not as important as comprehension. Many pre-K children "get" phonics and can read fluently early on...but they do not understand what they have read.
Take her to story time at the public library...librarians are always a great resource..they can help with book selections. My daughters loved puzzles early on (again, make sure it is age appropriate). Look into some "MOntessori" type activities (you can get a book with ideas).
Good luck, you sound like a terrific mom!!!!

She sounds very sweet and perfectly normal. Don't push her! She will learn at her own pace. Children at this age usually don't learn these things, they memorize them. Please remember that as you drill her on her abc's. Be gentle, don't get frustrated and please never punish her.

Try sesameworkshop.org and pbskids.org - great games for letter learning.

Watch Super Why and Sesame Street on PBS.

My suggestions is not to play teacher - flashcards, alphabet blocks and lots of practice will turn her off. Let her find ways to become interested. You've had lots of good advice already!

Frustration comes from wanting things to be perfect - so praise "trying", but don't dismiss the fact that she's determined to get things right.

I used to teach kindergarten before I had my son, and I had some 4 year olds that didn't know all their letters or how to spell their name. She really doesn't need to know this at her age, try to do things with her that are more age appropriate. Try the store, Lakeshore Learning, it is an educational store that has tons of games and activities by age. She'll love them. good luck...

I think you are expecting too much from a 2 year old. It is always a good idea to read to your child, but there is no reason for her to be reading. She might be trying too hard to meet your expectations and hence the frustration.

My advice is to choose things that have been suggested by child development experts to be appropriate for her age. You can find age by age suggestions at http://www.toysofdiscovery.com.
Things like a Giant Pegboard or Place and Trace 4-piece puzzles won't be frustrating for her.

Hi Monica,
For the most part, they'll learn when they're ready. Teaching something before they're ready will leave you both frustrated. Just be consistent but don't have expectations. With regard to her impatience with herself, my son is the same way. I would just try to encourage her by saying something like 'that's ok, I know it's tricky but let's try again.'

Good luck,
S.