Talking to a 3 Year Old About Returning to Work

Just talk to him straight forward. I just went through this with my 3 yr old son. We took him to the new "school" as he calls it a couple of times so he good get to know everyone. The first he cried when I first left after that he has been good to go. I think it was harder on me than him. If you ever need to talk you can email me ____@____.com. I am 38 years old mother of two a 18 yr girl and my 3 1/2 yr son. Best of luck!

well i am assuming daddy works right? if so just tell him mommy use to work before he was born but took time off to watch him grow and now that he is a big boy mommy wants to or needs to go back to work like daddy does and mommy will come home every night when she gets off work and spend time with him.and see what his reaction is. have you left him with sitters so you and hubby can go out? or so you can have alone time? if so maybe he will be ok with seperation anxiety.thinks should be fine.

How are you? Really, everytime I go back to work, it is always harder for me than on my kids. The kids cope and adjust quickly, expecially if they are busy (like they are in pre-school). I usually cry all the way to work. I'm a consultant, so I have many 1st days of work after a month or 2 off. And, everytime, it is hard to join the rat race again. So, worry about your child, but don't forget to take some time for yourself too. You might need a few minutes to "gather yourself" before you walk in on that first day.

I agree with Peggy F - don't make a big scene when you leave on his first day. If he sees you crying or apprehensive, it will only add to his stress.

Take him to some fun places where you can drop him off for a couple of hours. This will teach him that it is ok to be away from Mom and that you will be back.
How are you going to prepare yourself for the separation from him? Remember to drop him off and leave with out a big scene

Show him how to look for the time that you will return to pick him up. Use a paper plate and make a paper clock that displays the time you will pick him up at. I would set the time so that it allows you some "wiggle room" for traffic and such. Ask the teacher to keep it in his "cubby" and allow him to look at it whenever he wants. Do some practice at home with matching the paper clocks with the real clocks. For example, tell him you are going to take him to a "special lunch" and you will leave the house at 11:30. Make the paper plate to say 11:30 and set it next to a clock in the house that shows the current time. Show him how to count down to get ready for some "special events" just like he will count down to the time when mommy will return from work. Are you able to take him to your work (for a quick 10 minute tour) so he will know where Mommy goes to when you say you are going to work?

Before you leave him at daycare, ask him to "take care of your special _________". He will be responsible for making sure your __________ is kept clean and happy until you get home from work. It could be your favorite bracelet, your favorite book, hat, sunglasses, purse, etc. But find something that you wouldn't normally let him play with and give him the honor or caring for it (on your behalf). That will make him feel like he has some control over something.

My kids loved preschool, so I focused on the positive aspect of how he now gets to go to school. Also, it helps if you explain your job because "work" is an abstract concept. I'm a teacher so I took my kids to see my classroom and talked a lot about my job. I would skip the idea of talking with him about how you need to go to work to make money because he's too young to care or understand

C.,

If it were me, I would first take him to the place of where he will go to preschool and just simply walk around and let him see it. I would say to him, some kids your age get to come here and play and learn. Is that something you would like to do? Show him all the fun things that they get to do and let him meet his teacher if possible, but let her know that he doesn't know that he'll be coming yet, so just to speak to him as she would anyone, greeting him and saying to him that she sure would like to see him again.
I would then, gradually ask him what he thought of the fun place that you took him to see. Peak an interest in him and then lead into saying, if you really would like to go there again, mommy will let you stay there for a little while and then come back and pick you up while you play with your new friends.
Then I would tell him that Mommy will be doing work while he is having fun with his new friends and then, when he is done, you will pick him up and go back home (or whatever your plans are for picking him up).
Let him be a part of the planning and picking out supplies. Let him feel as if it were his decision too, so that he feels an ownership of it and will be much more willing to go.
I do (volunteer) work on my computer and my recently turned 4 year old tells my 9 year old, "Mommy is working right now, so let's just play". She totally understands the concept of work. Sometimes she will say, "Can I see your work?" and I show her what I'm doing and she says, "that's cool mom, good job!" She went to 3k last year and will go to 4k this year. She never cried once and even told me on the first day, "it's ok mom, you can go now, I'll be fine." And she was, all year long!
God Bless You,
Take Care,
T. (mother of 4)

C.,

I recently returned to work after being home with my 2 1/2 year old son. It was much harder on me than him. I did find it helpful to adjusting (for both of us) that my husband gets him ready and off to the sitter. He asked about me and Daddy was able to explain that I would be home soon. My son enjoys his days away having fun and getting spoiled and enjoys his evenings with mommy and daddy.

Hey mom,

I don't know if you are returning to work because you have to, or because you want to. But if it is a have to, I may have a solution for you. I looked for over 10 months for a job that I could do from home so I could stay home with my little ones. I have a 1 yr. old and another on the way. I was in tears searching because all I found were scams, or legit companies that wanted hundreds of dollars to start up. I was so relieved when I found Freedom United which is a group of moms that help other moms work from home doing marketing for a wellness company. I checked this company out with the BBB and found that they are very legit. I also then discovered that I have a personal friend that has been doing this for over a year and LOVES it!! I love it too!! If this sounds interesting to you, I'd love to talk to you and share more. My web site is www.freedomunitedteam.com/tm2620 or you can email me ____@____.com or give me a call, ###-###-#### I am on central time and I live in FL.

Have a great day! Hope to hear back from you!
T.