Talking to 8 Year Old Daughter About Periods

Yep, I agree with the other moms - and brava to you for thinking ahead! My mom and I had "the talk" when I was six and it was a good thing since I started at 8. Good luck! :)

I am a firm believer in "if they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to hear the answer." My thinking on this is that if they ask me and I avoid the subject, they will ask someone else until they do get an answer. I would rather my kids get my version on certain things than to hear it from their friends. You don't have to get into graphic detail, but you can give her enough info that when the time does arrive she feels comfortable enough to talk to you about it. My mom never had that conversation with me, and I ended up not telling her until a year or 2 later when she finally asked. I was a late bloomer, so I could buy my own needs.

My 5 year old asked me the same question. I try to remain honest and open with her and felt a little flumaxed. I changed the subject the first time. The second time she asked I said; ' they're for feminine hygiene'. She had no idea what that meant but has not asked since. Would it be harmful to tell a girl as young as 5 that this is what grown up women have once a month? It could be said in a matter of fact very simple way - doesn't hurt and is just like having a wee. I'm confused about how to answer these questions myself and confused about why we're all so coy and secretive about what is a natural bodily function. We don't hold off telling children about pooh or wee, if they ask we tell them. If you believe periods are not anything to be ashamed of why not explain in brief as is appropriate to their age and understanding .

I agree, the American Girl book Care of Keeping of You is fantastic. My 9 year old read it and we discussed it. Very non sexual, just good info on head to toe care, keeping face and body clean, periods, breast changes, hair on legs everything. Very good!

Hello. I understand you not wanting to tell your daughter just yet, but i think you should go ahead and tell her. i was 9 yrs old when i started mine (i was in the 4th grade)and i think its best you start telling her about it now so that she will be a little prepared. My daughter is 8 and i've already told her about. every month i come on i discuss it with her. My mom didn't tell me anything either. My dad taught me a lot about life so i make sure i tell my daughter everything because i don't want her to have to hear it from someone else. Kids now days are a lot different then when i was growing up. Some parents don't want to talk about a lot of things because of age but i know kids that are 10 & 11 who are having sex and the girls have started their cycle. So i would say tell her but of course its up to you. Its not as hard as you think. Good luck!!!

There is a wonderful mother/daughter program called Maidens (or Maidenhood, can't remember at the moment) by His Design. It was created by the owner of Blessing God's Way. She is a wonderful Christian woman and this program is all about how God created our bodies very special and with a purpose. It goes into fertility and our monthly cycle. It is a class, but I believe you can buy it as a home course as well. the website is www.blessinggodsway.com if you're interested.

My daughter is 2 and probably knows more than most at her age. We were in the bathroom once a few months ago and I was changing my pad. She thought it was Mama's diaper and that I had gone poopy. I just told her that it wasn't poopy but that Mama bleeds sometimes. Now, she understands what it means. So, each month when she sees me change, she says "Mama bleeds." She is learning about tampons, but initially thought they went 'in Mama's bottom.' This last cycle, she got it right though. :) "Does that go in Mama's parts (vagina)?"

So, I think you could very simply explain to her that every month when a girl gets a little older, she will have some bleeding. It isn't something to fear. God gave us our periods as a reminder of how special we are and how blessed we are to be able to get pregnant and have babies. I think she's old enough to understand. Open communication is the key. She needs to have a sense of security and know that it is OK to talk about this topic with you. I have kind of adopted the approach that no topic is off limits even now. I just taylor my answers to fit her age/development and interest level.

God bless,
A.

Honestly, when she asks, I think you should just tell her exactly what happens during periods. I have three little boys, 6, 5, and 2. I have never told them anything but the truth about menstrual cycles and they have never gotten weirded out or anything. I tell them it's like a mommy-diaper and that there's a balloon-type area called the uterus inside my belly. That balloon fills up with blood to be like a cushion each month in case a baby starts to grow there. If a baby grows, the blood acts like a cushion to keep the baby safe, and if it doesn't grow, it needs to clean out via the baby tunnel, or vagina so that my body can start over again. I just told them that each mommy can make babies and it's very natural. They know the technical names of private parts and have never done anything except say, maybe, oh....that makes sense! So, I told them that the pad catches the blood and when my uterus is done cleaning out, then I stop bleeding. At first I was worried that I was telling them too much too soon, but it's amazing what little sponges kids are. It's also amazing how more often they ask questions that might be uncomfortable for you if you actually dodge the questions! If you answer them, they stop asking! So, they have been fascinated, but pretty much stopped asking as soon as I explained it to them. I remember that my mother did not tell me anything either when I was young and it was pretty scary when I started my period. In my opinion, I'm sure she would feel much better if she just understood what happens to us women and knows that it's normal. Good luck! I know it can be scary ground!!:):)

M., I would have to agree with the other moms and find a good book to read with her and answer any question she may have. Also I want to give you big kudos for wanting to talk to her before she gets her period. My mother did not talk to me before or after and made it a more difficult transition. Good Luck! C.

Hi M.,

Wow, it has been some time since I had a talk with my daughter but do talk to her. I don't think she is to young and the sooner she trust you into telling her things she wants to know about the better she will come and talk to you when she has something that is bothering or worring her. I started when I was almost 12 but my mother never told me anything and I was scared to death. I thought I had hurt myself somehow while riding my bike and I slept on the floor for two nights because I was afraid of getting blood on the blankets. Good Luck and Love her to pieces.

Be honest, short and brief in your answers. Get a age appropriate book with illustrations of the female reproductive system and sit down with her. Start the conversation with "Remember the other day when you asked about pads and tampons?" Share with her your experience about your first period. Tell her that you don't want to be in the dark about this important topic and to come to you FIRST about any topics.

Get cracking before she goes to other people. If she is coming to you, then she senses that this is something that her Mom knows the inside scoop about. Let her get the facts from you. Good Luck.

If you were 11 and your mom was 10 and your daughter is now 8, What are you waiting for?? Your daughter is asking questions - answer them honestly, accurately, with as much detail as yout daughter asks for. I know that you don't want her to be scared as you were when her periods start - and they will start. It is simply a part of life. It is as natural as eating and breathing and should be no more embarrasing than that. Relax. Your daughter probably knows more than you think she does and is just hoping that you will talk with her about it. Don't give her a book to read! Tell her the facts at her level in a no-nonsense way, without being embarrassed about it. Share with her what you wish your mom had shared with you when you were 8.

A little something that may help you make a decision on when to talk to her about periods. My oldest was 9 years and 1 week old when she started. Good luck

When I was 9 my mom read to me about periods out of a book she had called the Mother's Encyclopedia. I'm not sure if it's still in print, but your pediatrician may be able to suggest something similar. Having a book in front of you to help you explain may make it more comfortable to talk about. Assure your daughter that it is normal and healthy and part of the process of becoming a woman. I don't think you have to go into a lot of detail. Just let her know the basics and what to expect and have the Midol on hand in case she needs it. Good luck!

Get a book on puberty and read it with her and then tell her she can ask you anything she wants now or in the future.

If she's asking questions, give her the answers.
If you, your mom, etc, have early periods, it is in her best interests.
My mother in law started developing breasts and had a period by the time
she was ten. I also had friends who did so. However, I did not.
I wanted to be like my friends, but didn't know the whole skinny.
My oldest was on target age wise, but my youngest is built very differently,
she is in the 75% of growth, etc..and she looks and seems physically like her
grandma on her dad's side, not anything like my older daughter and son.
I had to modify my "speech' for her. I am in constant contact with our pedi-
atrician, and I am aware of history. She is like so many little girls today that
are beginning their periods about three years earlier than our generation.
Some attibute it to diet, hormones in foods, etc...Be honest, be clear, be
sincere, and do your best. It may occur prior to age 11 or 13, but she will be
mentally prepped. Is she emotional? Has she always had a higher emotional
behavior? Think about it?.......Talk to professionals. Get loads of info, and
discuss with her. Make her proud to be her, but don't allot her to be a young
discovery for boys........give her the morals with the physical facts. Be there.

There is a book from The American Girl publishers called The Care and Keeping of You. It might be a little old for her but it presents lots of good info in a non-threatening way- cartoons drawings and things. It talks about menstruation, reproduction (I think), bathing, fingernail care, deoderant, etc. You could read that together with you deciding which section to read when.

They have alot of books out there now that talk about puberty and all the changes that happen to our bodies. I have bought my 10y/o step-daughter one and we looked through it together. I have also gotten her a couple of books from the library. She's not a real big "talker" about it, but I wanted her to look through it anyway. My mom never had "the talk" with me and I started in gym class one day in 7th grade and hid it from everybody as well as I could for a loooong time. To this day, she still hasn't "talked" to me about puberty or periods and I'm 29 y/o! I don't want my daughters to go through that. I think she's asking for a reason and maybe one of her friends have mentioned something to her about it and I think she should hear it from you. I agree that if she's old enough to ask, then she's old enough to know. Good luck!

The suggestions about getting a book (consider the library) are great. Additionally, you can give her some information without all the details and continue to give her information as the questions arise. A friendly thought that she may get information from others, so give her as much information as she need so she does not go to someone else. Praise her for talking to you about it. This will build an open line of communication so she will come to you in the future. Some kids are afriad to approach parents about these things. Its important that she feels comfortable in coming to you and you can influence the information and her understanding of the issues. I volunteer to help kids (the the city and suburbs) and the average age of the first sexual experience is 9 yrs. old. She approach the subject quickly.

Hi M.,
I was 8 when my mother told me about periods. I questioned the Pad and Tampon comercials and overheard some girls talking about periods. She was very honest and straight forward. Luckily for me my mother never held back when explaining things. :)

My mother even told me that I may have cramps. My mother started at 10 and had severe cramps so she wanted me to know what may happen to me. I was 10 when I started as well. I wasn't afraid because I had been prepared well.

We had an emergency kit. The kit had different brands of pads and Midol, which never worked for me. My advice is to be very opened and honest with her. This is the start of many questions. If you show her that you are opened to her questions then she will be able to come to you for everything. I think from the way my mother handled the period question I wasn't afraid to asked other questions. You will want her to come to you and get the right answer instead of going to her friends and not getting the whole truth. Good luck!!

the next time she asks, just tell her. she will most likely ask all the questions. just answer thm. once you get through that, it will be easier to talk to her and answer the future questions. besides if you think she will be an early start on menstruation,she better know now then wait til it happens and get vry scared and be unprepared. jen

My daughter started wearing bras because she had to in 3rd grade so the conversation was just something we had to have. If she asks you about your pads and tampax just be honest. Tell her that as she gets older she have a monthly cycle and will need to wear them too. If she doesn't ask any more questions then you aren't forced to answer any more quesions. When we actually had the full conversation with her my husband and I both sat down and discussed it with her. It was great for her because she was never embarassed about it and could go to either of us with questions. Did the same with our son. Our school shows the movies to the students in 4th grade so we prepared our children ahead of time.