Taking the Leap - Potty Training

Xavier will be 4 in oct. we could not get him to poop in the potty like a big boy for nothing. I mean nothing phased him,standing in a corner with them on, the poop being mashed against his but an staying in them nothing. My grandson got the pee part down as I had told him to see if he could hit the man in the hole down there, an then when it came time for reminding him about going whomever was in the house we would say there name an that they were going to beat him to the man in the hole. Others say cherios in the toilet to get him to stand an hit them for pee. But back door he has to decide if he is ready. No hope for that at all.

I have been in your shoes! I never really used pull-ups either. I say go right to undies. Sounds like you're on the right track. Here's what seemed to work for me: with a nice quiet weekend on the way, be with him ALL the time. Try suggesting going to the potty at certain intervals, say, every 20 minutes or whatever you think. (It sounds good, but my son completely resisted that.) Part of it is learning to listen to your body, so just because you take him every so often and he happens to go, it's not really teaching him to listen to his body if he just so happens to go when you take him. But, to start off with, and to give him some encouragement, it might help to have one success so he sees that it's not scary. So, just follow him around and try to learn his cues (if any) of when he needs to go (either pee or poop). If you're with him constantly you can take him to the potty right away, either when he seems like he really needs to go or even if he starts to go in his pants. Even if he starts to go in his pants, and pees all the way to the potty, just keep walking him to the bathroom and tell him something like, "Pee pee belongs in the potty, not in your pants."

My son would have an accident of course, the minute I left the room to do something else for just a minute! They are smart! Good luck, you and he can do this! If it makes you feel better, all of my kids were over 3 when they were trained. My two girls were each a little over 3, my older son was a little over 3 and my youngest son was almost 4 1/2!!! And he also went straight into undies at night.

One more thing, I used a sticker chart - I divided a piece of paper into two sections: "I did it" and "I tried". He'd get a sticker for either one. I let him pick the stickers, too - Diego, Scooby Doo, etc. Good Luck.

Carrie...I can share with you what seems to be working for my oldest daughter, with her son. She started out with the potty chair in the bathroom and she encouraged him to go potty at the same time that Mama or Papa were going potty. She kept a supply of books to read to him and started a habit of singing songs with him while he is on the potty. She doesn't rush him...but she doesn't make him stay on the potty a lot longer than he wants to either. He is younger than your son, he just turned 18 months old, so she doesnt go with the reward chart or anything...but I would think that a reward for going in the potty...with a smaller reward for "trying" would be a great idea for your son. I would try and tie some bigger "ultimate reward" to the stickers or whatever...maybea trip to the park for every certain number of "I went potty in the pot " stickers....or an ice cream cone...or whatever appeals to him. Most importantly...don't make this a battle...because he WILL win the battle...he has control over his body...and he will use it if becomes a battle of wills. Make it fun...rewarding and light.

I know what you're going through! It was almost the exact same scenario when mine was 3. Took him to Wal Mart, picked out big boy pants (not a fan of pull ups either), started the next day in them. No, he doesn't have to go was what he continued to say when asked. Finally, oops, an accident. No big deal. Didn't freak out, just cleaned up and put on the next pair. Long story short, within 2 hours we went through 3 pair of underwear. I decided he must not be ready. He was 3 yrs and 4 months! My other two boys were potty trained by 2 1/2 so I didn't know what to do. Anyway, the next day I am folding laundry and he see's his power ranger underwear and says he wants to where them. I told him that these were only for big boys who use the potty so maybe we need to wait until he was ready. He said, 'I am ready.' He went and put them on and never had a problem! He is very stubborn and strong willed, the best I could figure was it had to be HIS idea, not mine. There were so many moms that would gasp when they found out he wasn't potty trained at 3. I guess it was a good thing he was my son and not theirs so he could develop at his own pace instead of pushing him to accomodate my needs or wants. We don't have children to compare them to others. There is too much pressure out there on moms to have their kids potty trained early. I keep hearing, 'I had mine trained at 9 months, 1 year, 18 months. They are exactly right, THEY had the child trained to go on a schedule. Not the child learning to use it when needed, but at a certain time. If he's not ready yet, let him decide. Just remember, he won't be going to graduation with a diaper on. He will do it when he's ready and it may just have to be his idea. Good luck!!!

Ok, regarding pull ups, in my opinion the only thing they are good for is as a good night protector. Cool alerts and all that junk don't work but putting your son BACK into a diaper after you've gone down the potty training road is like putting training wheels on your husband's bike...just don't go there!

Find a way of encouragement for him...some kids are really simple with being ok with getting a m&m or cheerios for going, others like stickers or a penny...mine wanted something more tangible so I used $1 store toys as rewards...when they quite playing with them they went back in the basket.

NEITHER of my kids were interested in doing this either and I will tell you that 2 weeks of daycare was WELL WORTH the money to set them on the road to personal motivation...peer pressure is AMAZING at this age! LOL...but seriously...this is the opportunity of a lifetime...you can put him in a longer T-shirt and let him run around pants free in the back yard...he can pee on anything he likes! But at least he'll be getting the jist of it! As for training at home, I would load him up with things to drink and encourage going to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes...make sure you have some covers on your furniture in case he "forgets" and wets through...pee on the couch isn't cool! LOL...but a spritz of vinegar or vodka will take the smell away...forget the fabreeze, it's not worth the print on the bottle.

Good luck and keep the faith...once it's all done...take him shopping for a "big reward" it'll be worth the look on his face AND it will ensure he has truly moved to "big boy" status! Worked like a charm for us!

I used 3daypottytraining.com with my daughter. It worked so well, even at night, that my girl-friends both used it on their 3-year old sons. Neither of her boys seemed to be real concerned with potty-training but within 3 days they were done, even at night. I'm in a mom's club and its amazing how many moms say that night time potty training doesn't come as quickly but with this program, when used exactly how she suggests, gets the entire job done. I highly recommend it! Good luck.

The best advise I can give is just do it and don't give up. I have spent the last year starting potty training and stopping. My son would do great for a week or so then decide he wanted to just wear diapers instead of interrupting his play. I finally just decided like the pacifier I was the one addicted to diapers. So I just stopped using them completeing during the day and stopped using them at night as soon as he went a week of waking up dry. Bare bottom or underwear only at home and I took an extra change of clothes for him when I went out and used a water proof pad on his car seat and stoller. I started with telling him it was time to go every hour or so and slowly increased the time. After about a week of doing great when he decided his just wanted to put a diaper on I said no. I actully had to sit in the bathroom with him twice for an hour because I want him to use the potty and he wanted to use a diaper. After I got through that one day and he realized I was serious about not going back to diapers he did great again. After three weeks we actually drove 18 hours to Disney World and only had one accident the whole time. (He fell asleep without peeing first)

Another good tip is keep two sets of sheets on his bed with a waterproof mattress pad in between in case of middle of the night accidents that way you just have to pull the top set off instead of changing everything in the middle of the night.

This is my third and last time so I know every child is different. My mother used to tell me "I have never known a kindergartener in diapers so you will get thought this.
Good luck.

The very best advice I think I have received and that I can give to you in turn is: let him take his time and take this giant step at his on pace. Eventually he'll come around. Patience, patience, patience.
My son is 3 years and 4 months old and we have the peeing down to an art now, but the pooping is still proving to be a task. But, the thing that seems to be working best is just for me to relax about it, he gets better at it on his own. It seems to me that they have to decide they are ready and willing AND able on their own.
He'll get there! No sense banging your head until then. Good luck!