So my fiance and I will hopefully be moving into an apartment in the next couple of weeks. We have decided that with the new "home" comes new rules for our son. He's about 17 months old. We still let him have his bottle, and that needs to be gone by the time we get into the apartment. Also, he usually wakes up at some point during the night and wants to come to bed with us. At the moment we share a room, so it's a little hard to "ignore" him. That is why we have let it go on for so long, but it needs to stop. I want both of these things to be accomplished by the time we get to the apartment because I don't want to keep the neighbors awake at night while he's "crying it out".
So which one do I work on first? Do I take the bottle away cold turkey, or do I let him have it at nap time and bed time only for a few days before it goes away completely? Do I work on the CIO first so that he can have his bottle in the crib to help comfort him, or do I take away them both at the same time? Someone suggested maybe putting water in his bottle so that he just doesn't want it anymore... Is that a good idea?
Any other suggestions for me?
you know you can transition him from co-sleeping with methods other than CIO, right?
i hope you rethink the 'new home, new rules' thing. moving will be stressful for him anyway. having to adapt to all those new things at once will be dreadfully hard on the little fellow.
khairete
S.
Wow, a lot of changes at once. Work on the sleeping issue. Let him have
his bottle. Although the sleeping issue may take more than a couple of
weeks at this point. I never had a problem with kids having bottles. I equate
it with someone taking away our morning coffee!! I would not try the water
trick now. Wait until he is sleeping thru the night in his own crib consistently. New home, new sleep rules, no milk. Why traumatize him all
at once? Good luck.
When you move he will be needing to adjust to the move, new room, new everything so I would not start either until you move since it's only a couple of weeks until you move. If you don't want to do that and wait then I would start with the bottle since it's not good to have it in the crib to start with due to teeth issues, etc. ( that's what 'they' say ). So I would do that first which will probably cause him to CIO anyhow. I wouldn't do too much at once since the move is soon. Then if you get him adjusted to the new place start there. Neighbors have to put up with it for just a bit. It usually only takes a few nights if you are consistent with the sleeping issue. Give him time rather than rush just to move though.
I would hold off on getting rid of the bottle. If you really want him to stay in his own bed once you move to a new "home" (where he will be scared until he gets used to being there and suddenly being by himself at night) he will want/need the bottle for security and comfort. I would just put water in it at night not milk.
As for the CIO, I don't believe in it for children this young so I have no advise about that.
CIO is cruel and inhumane. Don't do it.
You are expecting this child to adapt to way too many things at once. Let him keep the bottle, as long as he is not sleeping with it in his mouth it is NOT hurting him. He can get used to sleeping in a different room first. Then start working on the bottle and then the other stuff.
You will have complaint after complaint if your child is crying all night. I would never do that to anyone, not even my worst enemies child. Babies cry because they need something, they do not understand that they have not been abandoned and CIO only teaches them to not trust their adults to care for them.
Work on the bottle first. Cut him down to 1 a day, at final bed time. Yes putting water in it will help. Better yet, use a spill proof sippy cup. Then down to none. I know many families where the box with the bottles and pacifiers just didn't make it to the new house during a move.
The reason I don't say to start with the CIO bed routine first, is that when you do move he will need some adjustment there also, so why do something twice?
Wow, you are moving him to a new home and want to take away both his comfort items at the same time? What is the rush? There are no deadlines to growing up.
My daughter had a bottle at naptime and bedtime only until she was 3. Her teeth are perfect. As long as they aren't allowed to sleep with the bottle or carry it around during the day, the bottle is not evil and it provides needed comfort to babies (and at 17 months he is still a baby).
I would start to encourage him sleeping in his own bed, if that is a concern to you. But letting him CIO is not necessary to convince him to eventually sleep by himself. I don't know any tips to help you with this, as I co-slept with my daughter until she decided on her own to sleep in her own bed.
The bottle seems less urgent to me, and won't disturb the neighbors. Plus, sleeping through the night peacefully is totally contingent on being FULL. Full babies can sleep through the night by 3 months old. So don't take away ANY means by which to be full while getting him out of your bed. Be sure to stuff him ALL DAY LONG, (not just right before bed) for three whole days (so his body registers increased calories) and then proceed with letting him self-sooth at night.
I think I would go with the bottle first. He may react differently to having his own room, and you may not even need to do CIO or anything! My kids have always slept just fine in their own rooms, but I've dreaded every trip we've taken where we had to share a room, because they minute they wake up -be it 4am or whatever -they are determined to get us up. That just doesn't happen in their own rooms. If he doesn't adjust well, I would give it a few months until he can get used to his own room and go from there.
I would work on the bottle first. When I was ready to ease off the bottle, I would give my baby a sippy cup of milk right before bed. And I would do it without rocking or any of that other bottle-like routine. She didn't want that sippy cup. When she learned that she wasn't getting a bottle, but a sippy cup instead, she got over the bottle very quickly. Whatever you do , don't let him take the bottle to bed. That has a whole other set of issues. Besides rotting his teeth, you are introducing the bottle as a type pacifier, which only makes it harder to take away. And he won't be able to learn to self soothe on his own without a "prop".
You might find that the two go hand in hand. He may not go down easily without the bottle, leading him to have to cry. While some don't advocate for CIO, I find it necessary for the baby to learn to self soothe, especially at his age. Keep a journal going of how,long he cries each night. Otherwise, it will seem like an eternity, when it really hasn't been long at all. You will notice that it gets less and less each day.
Anyway, start with the bottle and see how it goes. Good luck!!!!
I'd go cold turkey on the co-sleeping, but try only water in the bottle. No milk, no juice...just water. Make it less interesting to him.
Our 17 months old can scream for an hour if we are in the same room(grandparents/traveling), but calms down after only 5 min when she is in her own room. So I would wait on this, you might not need the CIO.Ours is too still on the bottle(she does not even care if there is water in it). I tried couple of times to get her off, but gave up(pregnant and sick 24/7), but I do need to get on with it. With our 2 boys we went cold turkey, 2 days were HARD.....but that was all that it took.
Whatever you do.... do not take things away during or at a growth-spurt time. Otherwise, it will be harder. Growth spurts, are a normally unsteady time anyway... they get hungrier, may be teething, are physically and cognitively changing too. And all of these things at the SAME time.
