Surrogate Pregnancy- Have You Done It? Insurance, Contract?

Find my thread from a few days ago about a big legal battle between a surrogate and the intended/bio parents. Your friend shouldn't sign anything in a contract that she is not 100% ok with. If she thinks she might change her mind about a clause or can't comply with something, she shouldn't sign it.

Things to consider:
1. thoughts on abortion if the baby has disabilities
2. selective reduction if the pregnancy results in multiple fetuses
3. do they expect her to adhere to any major lifestyle changes - dietary restrictions, limiting activity, limiting travel, etc.
4. in addition to medical expenses, will they give her an allowance for clothing or other non-medical fees
5. will she have any contact after the baby is born

There is A LOT to consider before she actually starts the procedures.

They NEED to talk about this together. The woman trying to conceive, will have to call her insurance. (I'm sorry to tell you, most insurance companies here don't deal with surrogacy.) What would be the smart thing, if for the surrogate to sign up with a REPUTABLE agency. The mother could hire her through that agency. The agency will figure out insurance, payments, etc. usually the mother has to pay cash, because it would be a rare occurrence for insurance to cover the medical needs of a surrogate. (Actually, times might have changed. I worked in insurance 4 years ago. It's possible they cover now.)

Here is the thing about surrogacy. In our country, there are almost no laws on the books. Contracts are not usually binding. (Read about the surrogacy controversy in the news. The family wanted an abortion and the surrogate didn't. Even though the abortion was in the contract, the contract was not legally binding.) Neither party is really protected under the law. I would make sure your friend knows what she won't do. How many rounds will she be willing to go through? Is she willing to carry twins, triplets? Doctors always try for a single, but fertility often leads to multiples. Is she going to be a gestational carrier, or will her DNA be involved? If so, how does she feel about a child being half genetically hers? What is she going to allow the mother to demand? Natural birth? C-section? Abortion, if there are abnormalities? What if there is something wrong with the baby, and the mother no longer wants the baby? What will the surrogate do? If she has a difficult pregnancy and has to leave work, how will she survive. If she has a family of her own and can't function, how will they deal with it?

If you friend is doing this for money, she should not do it. I'm not saying she is, I'm just saying IF. People don't come away with very much money from surrogacy. Not when you factor in conceiving, carrying a child, all the appointments, time missed from work and family, etc. Surrogacy should be done to give life.

Personally, there are grey areas law wise. I could never be a surrogate, because of the lack of binding contracts and no laws. She should take the lack of legal protection for both parties, into consideration.

I think the legal issues need to be fully covered. As Bug said, the laws vary state to state and surrogacy laws are not clear.

I agree that signing up with an agency would be a good bet so that they can learn all the ins and outs of what happens.

I have no idea about insurance but my guess would be that insurance would not cover this.. it is voluntary, elective, etc

I have no experience with surrogacy except for my neighbor who had a surrogate for her 2 sons. They ended up having to move away (no idea where because they cut contact with everyone they knew) because the surrogate kept showing up at the school presenting herself as the mom. This blindsided them because there had been no previous issues. Just be very careful, there are SO many emotions involved.

You may want to refer you friend to The Center for Surrogacy Parenting. This is the largest surrogacy agency and has been in business for 33 years. The west coast location is in Encino, CA and the east coast location (also covering Europe) is in Annapolis, MD.

The web site is very informative as far as what to expect from counseling, housekeeping, maternity clothes and medical expenses....

I'm not sure what method your friend is attempting to go for: IVF/ Intented mother's egg, IVF with donor egg or straight IVF. I worked for a genetic testing lab and there are a TON of tests both physically and mentally.