Sugar Issue

All in moderation. Don't prohibit the sugar and sweets as it will just make them want it more. But there should be limits. When my kids have a party like that (and I cringe...) we talk about how we have to brush our teeth really well and have a healthy dinner. So it's not about what you can't have but how to balance it out. I know that isn't a magic answer, but set limits - maybe only have 2 treats on the day of the party from the valentine bag that day. Then they are done. Interested to see what others have to say as well!

We have almost no rules about sugar/junk HOWEVER... we're super active people, kiddo especially. When someone is spending 6-10 hours swimming or 6-8 hours snowboarding who cares about cookies or popsicles? Our sugar/ junk is ADDED to a really healthy diet and very active lifestyle. Key word: added.

We do Sweet Saturdays. No sweets during the week, except for fruit. Then on Saturday, something truly awesome (whether a small homemade cake, trip to the ice-cream shop, or hot fudge sundaes, whatever). It's been working out GREAT for us! I think some people have a sweet tooth (like me and my kids) and have to be taught how to manage it (like me and my kids) and other people truly can eat one small bite of chocolate and be satisfied (like my mother (>_<)!!). Unfortunately for me, if there's a box of cookies in the house, we will eat it in one sitting. We really cannot control it. So I keep no sweets in the house at all, then on Saturday, we have one (kinda large) portion of something sweet and get it out of our system, until the next Saturday. At first, I was afraid my kids would go nuts on Saturdays and eat 'til they threw up. But that hasn't happened. And it's a fraction of the amount of sugar they would consume if they had a couple of cookies here, a small lollipop there, 3 Hershey's kisses here, a donut for after-school snack there, etc, throughout the week. For us, this is just the only way that works. My sister keeps an entire pantry of sweets and junk food. She has no problem making a box of cookies last for WEEKS!! Ugh!

We eat healthy in our house and that means sweets in moderation.

I do not see anything wrong with having treats on Valentine's Day at school. I do have a problem if this week it is the Valentine's party, next week it is cupcakes and cookies for Susie's birthday, then the Mardi Gras party, then the St. Patrick's Day party, then the teacher's birthday, and then and then and then...

In our house this has enabled my son to learn about special occasions and treats. It is okay to have a treats every once in a while as it is healthy. Denying treats or 'bad foods' only sets people up for binges later on and starts to create a poor relationship with food. Instead of saying healthy or unhealthy, I use the words 'strong' when talking about food (because he really likes exercising and playing and showing me his muscles HAH!). For example, he will say "Mommy, do bananas make me strong?" and I'll answer yes or he will say "Mommy, does candy make me strong?" and I'll say "It's yummy but no, it doesn't help make you strong."

My best friend and I grew up in similar households as you and your neighbor have now. My friend always had the latest and greatest sugar cereal and sugar treats in her lunch, I grew up with a garden and plenty of fruit and eating oatmeal or cream of wheat. We both have kids now and she looks back about the type of foods she ate growing up and does not want that for her kids. She has a sweet tooth and limits sweets. I too limit the amount of sugar in our diet and am really focused on eating whole organic foods. Trust that you are doing what is best for your children and eventually they will understand and even appreciate your efforts. My son is only 2, but when he starts participating in Halloween and Valentines we are going to have a candy exchange. We don't eat high fructose corn syrup and I will exchange it for candy that does not have that in it or some other sort of activity. It is interesting that my friend was also frustrated at the amount of candy and cookies that were given out at her daughters preschool valentine party. She made that comment that most cards came with a treat of some sort. She has thrown most of the candy away. One thing my husband and I do is talk about where our food comes from and how it is prepared. You may want to try that with your kids. My son doesn't quite understand but we are hoping repetition will have some effect.

I know what you mean! My kids cousins can have anything they want at home, yet they could eat me out of house in home with the fruits and veggies they eat.

I wish I had an answer. I'm trying to acheive that perfect balance of eating a healthy diet with just a splash of fun. Problem is, I love the junk!

I'n guessing just keep putting the good stuff out there, insisting on one or two bites or whatever you think is reasonable and having some treats. I'm like you, though, I don't want food to become a source of any kind of stress or negative feelings!

We don't eat alot of sugar in our home. I think people tend to like the foods they are used to eating.

We do eat sweets at our house, mostly in limited amounts and for special occassions. For example, on Sundays we always have ice cream. And each of my kids has a candy container with candy from Halloween, Christmas or their birthday. They can have one small piece each day without asking. However, the supply is limited so if they do eat a piece every day, they will run out pretty quickly. They tend to save their stash and have a piece every once in awhile.

The result is that my kids don't seem to crave sweets. Sometimes, I'll offer them a cookie and if they aren't in the mood, they'll turn me down. I'm not much into sugar myself, so maybe it's genetic or maybe they are not in the habit of eating sweets because we don't have much of it in the house.

I have never gone crazy with limiting candy, cookies,etc. We have some around the house. At Valentine's Day, Easter, Halloween and Christmas there is a lot of candy around. They eat too much the first day, less the second day, and by the end of the week there is tons of candy still left and I usually have to throw it out months later. I have one child who is not a big lover of cake/cupcakes. When he went to parties he would pass on the cake. I did not make him this way, he just finds it too sweet. Moderation is the key. Going overboard a few days a year is fine, just not all the time. Making something "we never eat" just makes it more desirable. My 11 year old commented the other day that his classmates whose parents don't allow sweets go crazy when sweets are around. The kids whose parents don't forbid sweets eat in moderation. The other side to this equation is exercise. Are your kids in a sport, ride bikes, etc? We have made our kids have so little exercise these days. We drive them everywhere because we are afraid for them. We limit what they can play at recess because someone may get hurt or have feelings hurt. We don't let them run around the neighborhood because we are afraid. People say the kids watch too much TV or playing video games - true, but if you turn off the video games and TV, do you let them go outside and play by themselves? Mostly likely not. Ironically the incidence of stranger abduction has not changed in 30 years, but our kids are fatter. Weight is about how much you eat and how much you exercise. Most of us (me included) eat too much and exercise too little. It's all about balance.

You mention that you have sugar issues. I wondered if you meant sugar cravings/addictions, or if you mean diabetes. I think decisions about how you feed your family should also take into consideration any family history of health issues, like heart disease and diabetes. Childhood obesity is also something to be concerned about. If your kids show any signs of heading in unhealthy directions, then it is time to get strict, educate them about healthy eating, etc. If they are in normal healthy ranges, then I think moderation is key, like so many other moms have said. I see some families who eat like your neighbors and no one ever gains a pound, and others where young children immitate their overweight parents eating habits and suffer greatly for it. Make the right choices for YOU and YOUR family.
Now, if I could just follow my own advice!!!

I am pretty much anti-sugar and have always been the "bad/mean" parent because of it. I don't care! I know that eating real food is wayyyy better for my kids than eating processed sugar. You actually hit a nail on the head by pointing out all the junk that they get when we're not around. My feeling is that there is so much of their day that we can't control, I try to control what they eat when I do have control. We don't buy junk food and when it does come into the house, for birthdays or holidays, it is a treat and usually it is a great bribe to get them to eat things that they normally wouldn't eat. There are some "healthy" treats out there too - my kids LOVE pumpkin pie year round and I make it with half the sugar and extra cinamon. They don't even like it with full sugar, it makes them gag, and it has tons of fiber and vitamins in the pumpkin. We also do yogurt (all natural vanilla usually) with berries or fruit - they love this because it is my desert, so they think of it as a treat. Soda NEVER happens, even for my 13 year old. He gets it at other people's houses or on very special birthdays. Even juice is a treat and gets watered down - juice is pretty much empty calories. Actual fruit has much more in it. Stick to your guns. My neices come from a house where junk runs rampant and they come over and eat us out of house and home. They think we're awesome because we always have oranges and apples and peppers that we happily cut up for them. My son (13) is finally starting to thank me for teaching him how to eat properly. I truly believe that feeding our kids sugar just teaches them bad eating habits, and the more sugar you eat, the more sugar you crave. When you start cutting sugar out a lot of food starts to taste too sweet, at least that what my family has noticed. Good luck and I think you had the right idea initially.

I don't really limit sugar but do make my kids alternate between a junk snack and a healthy snack. So they have a cookie one time, then carrots the next, then a small candy bar then a piece of fruit. Their Dad is a diabetic and they get to see him do insulin shots so know the effects of eating terrible all the time for years and years and my kids are 7 and 9. As for treats in school and at church, be the parent that brings fruit or veggies when you can and not candy and carbs. My daughters Valentines party we brought sweethearts and grapes and one kid brought a plate of apple slices, the fruit was gone before the cookies and candy were. Bootom line is nothing should be off limits but it has to be in moderation, you are what you eat.

Try thinking about it in a different way. Instead of focusing on what you DON'T want them to eat, focus on what you think is important for them to eat. Do you think it's important that they eat 5 servings of whole veggies or fruit per day? How do you feel about their need for good sources of protein? Do you know what the recommendations are? Are you and the kids meeting them? Focus on getting the good stuff in (which first involves becoming really knowledgable about what their needs are-yours too, they will look to you for guidance) and then you won't have to worry so much about the snacks. If they have a good foundation, all the nutrition they need, a few snacks here and there will not hurt AS MUCH because their bodies will be able to compensate. If, however they are substituting snack foods for actual meals they will suffer in terms of their health and possibly their intelligence, attention span, and patience (delaying gratification).
You dont' need an abundance of sugar, preservatives, or processed foods to rebuild your body and build your immune system. You do need vitamins, minerals, protein, fat, trace elements, antioxidants, beneficial microbes, enzymes, and clean water. Are your kids getting what they need, or are the filling up on stuff that will only stress their bodies and not contribute in any meaningful way to their growth and development? You asked for book recommendations and I have one: Nourishing Traditions, by Sally Fallon, or just about any book by Michael Pollan.

Steph - You don't say how old your kids are (other than school age), but it's never too early to start teaching them what is healthy and what is not. My girls have known since they could understand - we eat healthy in this house, and we have dessert or treats in moderation. For example, after a healthy breakfast they might find a Hershey's kiss in their lunch box. When they come home from school they are more likely to have cheese and crackers for a snack than they are to have a fresh baked cookie, but that does happen now and then. After supper, if they've eaten all their food without incident, we might have a scoop of ice cream, or this week a piece of Valentine candy - but we might say no.

We've always said, "We HAVE to eat at McDonalds" if we are on a car trip or in a hurry out running errands rather than , "Hey Kids!! Let's go to McDonalds - it's a special treat." Because we don't want them thinking that junk food is something to be coveted, but rather something to be endured. My daughter once asked me at 4 years old, "Mom, are these fries healthy?" I said, "Well, they're not really healthy, but we have healthy bodies so it won't hurt us to eat them once in a while." She replied, "I'm going to eat my chicken first, and then maybe I'll have more fries." Not that the chicken is that great for her either, but on her own she had figured out that it's best to eat what's healthy and leave the unhealthy for last. I was happy to see that she was grasping what I was trying to model for her.

I limit my kid's junk food and I tell them precisely why. When we make lunches we reference the hand-drawn food pyramid that's on the fridge and they each make sure they have one item from each level. (The new pyramid that has the fruits/veggies on the bottom and builds up from there.) They now at 6 and 8 can even tell me that they would rather eat at Subway than some burger joint because they don't feel well after eating a burger and fries! (Don't get me wrong, my 3 year old still begs for chicken nuggets whenever we drive past the golden arches!! But she's learning, too.)

You are the parent in charge of their good health. Teach them what is good and bad about foods so that they can make their own good choices as they grow up.

My kids are 6 and 3. I limit as much as I can at home. We usually have dessert once a week and I use sugar-free pudding (which everyone loves). They have chocolate milk on Saturday mornings (but its also sugar-free). They just don't know the difference. When out I try to be a little more laid back, but I still regulate. If grammy shows up she will give a giant bag of candy, I let them pick out a few and then save the rest for later.

My kids just make me so proud. If someone offers them candy or treats now and they know they haven't eaten real food, they have been known to ask if they can please have some healthy food first or ask if they can take it for later after they have their healthy food. I love it, it makes me so proud!

I think if you feel you do everything you can at home to teach good eating, then having a donut at church isn't so bad.

I have a huge sweet tooth and moderation issues and am worried about my son having the same issues, so I know where you're coming from. My eldest is only three years old and already I can see he's an emotional eater. I agree with the other mom who said you should worry about what you DO want them to eat and focus on that.

I'm a baker, so I usually have cookies or cake baked and on hand, but I use the out-of-sight, out-of-mind rule. If I put them in the cupboard, that he can't reach (as opposed to sitting out on the counter), then he doesn't ask for them and I don't crave them either. My son really likes fruit, so I keep a large bowl full of fresh, washed, fruit on the bottom shelf of the fridge, so he can go in and get whatever he wants. It really works! He eats like six servings a day and it gives him a sense of control.

When he does ask for a sweet, I tell him "yes", after he eats lunch, or a veggie, or whatever it is that he needs. A lot of the time, after he's done eating lunch (or whatever) he's not hungry and doesn't ask again for the snack. Good luck! I grew up in a house where we didn't have chips, soda, sugary cereals, or name brand snacks. When I moved out I went nuts and wanted to try everything! So, I think it's important to have those things around and teach our kids (and ourselves) moderation.

First of all it is ok to limit sugar...I totally hear you! Be consistant with the rules you set in your house. What are your rules? Write 'em down just so your thoughts are in order.

Also, if you are trying to be healthier make sure you are not keeping these things in your house period!!! That way no one is tempted. Keep tons of fresh fruit/veggies on hand with some low fat dips. Yogurt, all grain snack bars.

I don't keep tons in the house, but I don't go crazy restricting outside. We have some snack foods that are carbs, but candy/soda, etc. are not regulars in the house. The "candy" I keep around is chocolate covered raisins - I figure a balance of a fruit w/chocolate is nice, and they're not overly sweet, also they're small but satisfying.

My downfall is soda, so I only drink it when it's fountain cause there is less syrup in it (the restaurants control the mix) - bottled is MUCH sweeter. I do let my son drink soda, but only a couple times a week and he doesn't drink much.

I believe moderation is the key. If snacking is "forbidden", it's much more attractive than it needs to be.

Holiday candy I control by letting him go "a little crazy" on the day BUT controling it after that. All the candy goes in a container on top of the fridge and is given out a piece at lunch, and maybe after dinner, so he doesn't feel like I took his stuff away. I have a kid that likes fruit a lot - he'd rather have blueberries and strawberries than candy most of the time.

As long as the huge treats aren't every day, I think you're doing ok. You're hyper-aware and that makes sense; just do your best not to make food an issue. I think kids tend to be picky eaters and it'll always be annoying. Just have healthy snacks around. Don't make a huge issue of the outside snacks. Educate them subtly about food choices. Maybe even talk to your doctor, etc. to get some good info.

You're a great mom for wanting to help them eat right :)