Suburbs? City? Farm? Town? Choice of Living and Where to Raise Your Kids and Why

I need the best of both worlds - anything my heart desires within a 20 minute drive and a quiet neighborhood with no traffic. I found it and I love it.

I love where we live; it's like the best of both worlds. We have a small farm in the middle of a suburb. That's pretty hard to find. We have several acres that are surrounded by other farms that have 5 to 10 acres each, but beyond that are more traditional neighborhoods.

My boys can roam free, exploring creeks and woods all day. They don't have friends nearby, but the beauty of that is that we can bring in whichever friends we want to. They are 8 and 14, and we've been here for 12 years. It's worked out great!

We're only 12 minutes from SuperTarget and other major stores, so although our house is silent except for the birds, cows, and other animals(we don't hear any traffic sounds or anything), we are very close to civilization.

This is perfect for us. Good luck figuring out what is perfect for you. :)

I think any area can be "the best" for a great childhood.
I was raised "in the sticks", have lived in a city, a town and the suburbs....
IMO, all have advantages, and all have negatives.
It's more about which kind of life you want to live and what YOU consider the best!

Some people can't imagine NOT being able to walk a block for a coffee and some people can't imagine NOT having woods and a creek for their kids. Some people value the cultural offering of the city and some people value the work ethic learned on a farm...

Right now, we're in a suburban neighborhood--Suburgatory!

there are pros and cons to everything, aren't there? i think a city would be a GREAT place to raise a kid if you're an urbanite. all that bustling, fresh energy, so much culture available, public transportation, great food, parks, tons of play groups and friends and opportunities everywhere.
suburbs are ideal for kids in a lot of ways (although i personally can't stand them, i think they're the worst of both worlds.) less traffic, more places to walk and bike, usually more yards to play in. when my boys were small we were in a rural-ish suburban neighborhood and it was perfect for little kids. so many friends all around, a great network of parents, adjoining yards with no fences so they could roam in wolfpacks, always under someone's eye, quiet cul-de-sacs for bikes and skateboards. they're not actually *safer* than cities, but they feel that way.
my personal favorite is rural, and we're close to it here, with a small farmette in a very rural neighborhood. i love the privacy (although i'd like it to be even further from people, i'm becoming a troll as i age), the space, the growing things, having horses at home, the woods, and all the wilderness within walking distance. the kids have loved being here and lovelovelove coming home, but i think it was a little harder on them as 8 and 12 year olds moving here and not having a pack of friends right out the back door. it worked out fine, but it meant being more creative and pro-active in getting them to hang out with other kids. we homeschooled, so that was a priority anyway. but if you have kids who aren't into animals, climbing trees or J. doing outdoor play, it may be too isolating.
i think sensitive, involved parenting can make any venue a great place to raise kids.
:) khairete
S.

I live in the suburbs and there are pros (good schools, parks) and negatives (no sidewalks, not enough kids his age nearby, need a car to go anywhere). If I were to pick based only upon where to raise my son (not my career or where DH would like to live), I would pick Manhattan. Great parks, LOTS of kids, museums, music, plays and the ability to raise a much more independent street savvy kid. Plus great restaurants, a vibrant local food movement, beaches within an hour away.

I grew up on a farm and it was nice with the animals but very isolated. We didn't have a ton of friends and we were always working on the farm. If you like isolation that is the way to go, but if you are looking friends for your kids, not so much.

I moved to the city(Chicago). Loved the convenience of it, but not kid friendly at all and private school would cost a fortune.

Now we live in a small town about 45 minutes from the city and I love it for the most part. It is not crime free, and certainly not gilmore girls, but I don't think you will find that. But the public schools are good, my kids have lots of friends and are very involved in activities and everyone pitches in to help out. I love it!!!

Anywhere but the city. The city is no place to raise a kid, IMO.

It's definitely nice to have your kids' friends nearby, so anyplace too rural can be a bit of a problem, too.

Somewhere in the middle.

I want a house in the mountains of Colorado. I have for about 20 years now. It will never happen --no really good jobs there for hubby.

We live in the burbs. It's fine. We have a short walk to town, the train, etc.

I would prefer to be out in the country. Yet, I like that I don't have to drive very far for anything. I am a city girl at heart, but I dream of the country. It's a love affair that many philosophers and poets have documented.

We live in the country right now - About 30 minutes from the nearest anything. Including schools. I have to drive 30 mins to take my kids, 30 mins home, 30 mins back, 30 mins home... Every dang day. It gets old fast. You forget your milk, you drive an hour. I do like that they can go outside and roam around, but where we live there are hawk sized mosquitoes, snakes, poison ivy, animals etc. It is a nice thought, but you still have to be out there watching them. Before I lived here, I lived in suburbia, I liked it much more. I liked my kids out the front playing with neighbor kids, I could watch them from my window, or sit in my fron garden and watch them. I liked being able to "pop" to the shops. I don't like to be isolated - but some people do. I think it all depends on what you like, what you grew up with.

I think that many suburban towns, at least around where I live, have a combination of what you describe. Live in a part of town that has smaller houses close together (my lot is 1/3 acre) but I am within short walking distance to 5 schools, the library, ice cream shop, corner store, restaurants, bank, farmer's market, several play grounds, and acres and acres of either public woods where we can walk/hike or a private sheep pasture that is open to the public. I can jog out my door and have miles and miles of sidewalked roads or trails to run. The grocery store and Target are a 10 minute drive and I am within 15 minutes of two interstate highways. My neighborhood is full of kids, but there are many older folks who stayed after they raised their own families. My town has a working horse farm, a dairy farm, and several smaller farms where people raise chickens and sell vegetables. So I feel like I have a little bit of everything where I live, and there are lots of places like this.

Some of these areas can be combined, like where I live.

First, city living, like Philly, is not where I'd raise my kids. To M., big cities are for those who are young with no kids yet, but that's J. M..

"Country" living is something I don't like for my kids either. The last house we lived in was a nice area but the country road had cars flying down it and no place to ride bikes or even walk down the side of the road. Wasn't safe. My teenage son got Lyme from the deer that were always in our yard. No kids to play with, except for my teen who was allowed to walk down to other homes. Although the quite was nice.

We recently bought a house in a cul de sac and in a small town. We have the luxury of allowing our triplet 7 year olds to play out front in the circle, ride their bikes in the circle or sidewalk and there are plenty of kids to play with. Most houses are 3 bedrooms so your chances of having kids to play with are high right near your home. The town is small, half hour from Philly and there are nature trails, ponds, and shopping right on Main Street, even a small Walmart. The school district is rated high in this area and there are small cities within 10-15 minutes for larger restaurants and shopping. We also have a big fenced backyard. Most houses have nice size backyards in these subdivisions. This is what we were looking for with our children in mind. We love it! So we have your cul de sac and small town combined as you described it.

You can contact M. privately through message if you'd like the names of the towns around here that may interest you.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I think it's more important to have the right "ingredients" -- good school, open "free-range kid" space, easy access to healthy food, some kind of "main street" community space, maybe some measure of diversity.

There are urban neighborhoods, small towns, suburbs, and rural areas with all of those things, and there are cities, towns, burbs, and rural areas with none of the above. Honestly, unfortunately, it sort of comes down to money. It's much harder for people with less income to access any of these things, which is bloody tragic, IMO.

If I had to pick the space that was likeliest to offer all of the above, though, I'd pick a college town. I'm fortunate to live in this wonderful, safe, diverse little town with open space and a sweet little main street, and all of that has developed because it's right next to a large state university. My particular town is this sweet, classic oasis amid a sea of strip malls -- it's really weird.

It sounds like you have some fantastic options, though. I'd relax and enjoy whatever you pick.

P.S. I personally LOVE Philly. It's like Brooklyn, but affordable. But that's J. M..

We LOVE being in a small town near a college town among beautiful scenery outside all towns. We have a CHEAP mortgage on a nice house, and all the culture and conveniences of the near-by college town including beautiful parks, cultural events, safe, pretty environment, healthy groceries, pretty architecture, slow pace. I was in NYC and LA for 15 years before here, and with kids, the "small town life" (with modern college conveniences) is a welcome change of pace. I still relish the short lines and big aisles at the grocery stores, the fresh air and plenty of parking everywhere. After 6 years, it hasn't lost its charm.

My only complaint is we have some annoying close neighbors and our yard isn't the kind you can J. "let the kids out", so I would love something a bit more rural. I grew up in the country and loved it. We're looking to go a bit More Rural (to escape the neighbors and be outside more) on our next move while the kids are in that "nature loving" phase, and then more city when they're older I think.

We are 5 minutes from Wal Mart, Hospital where kids were born, large grocery store etc, and 20 minutes from mall, Target, etc.

We're 3 1/2 hours (comfortable, sometimes less) from Pittsburgh, Philly, New Jersey, NYC. The very charming and pretty college town right by us is "Lewisburg, PA" (Bucknell) and supposedly their elementary school is really good (our local school isn't and I'm homeschooling right now, another reason we would like to move). Also, in Lewisburg, there is virtually no crime and I always see kids out walking around everywhere together downtown. Same in our town, but our school is bad. But our town is way cheaper.

Usually the area with EVERYTHING, great school, neighborhood friends next door, nature stuff, city stuff, charming attractive buildings, safety and convenience etc boils down to being very expensive. Otherwise, you have to make trade-offs. You sound like the only thing missing right now is the walking distance friends, and as things go, it's not the MOST important thing. Your environment sounds pretty great!