Struggling Putting 5 Month Old down for Nap

A.
Hang in there - things *will* get better!
IMHO 5 months is a bit early for things to be settling into a "pattern" - and at that age it's quite likely that he's having a growth spurt.
If you have a spare moment to read, I found Dr. Marc Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" to be helpful in understanding typical sleep patterns/needs during different developmental phases of a child's life. Also one big thing we learned from the book was to try and put our kids down for naps/bedtimes *before* they got over-tired because, as we adults know, when we're over-tired it's harder to settle down and go to sleep.
hope that helps!

Hi A., With my first child I was in exactly the same place that you are now. To the point that I decided that if this was what motherhood was like, I was done having kids! I felt like a cow, what with this baby attached to me eating 24/7! Finally my husband talked me into having another baby, and so I asked my friend with 4 of the best-behaved kids I've ever seen, how she does it. She gave me a well-worn copy of "On Becoming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo. I followed his instructions with my second child, and life turned around completely. My younger daughter ate well on a set schedule, became fat and happy, took regular naps and slept through the night. I'm telling you, that book saved my sanity. I hope it helps you too! It's a quick read and well worth it in my opinion. Good luck!

Hi A.,
This sounds like my daughter to the T.. I found that nursing her to sleep actually helped the situation. Yes it may not be ideal, yet your son loves his Mommy and feels comfortable falling asleep while nursing. IN my opinion that is normal. Babies need love all of the time. Being that you don't-co-sleep, your son may need more love from you during the day. Babies love to hear their mom's heart beat and feel the warmth of their bodies.

In addition, as far as the naps, have you tried taking your son on a walk... My daughter falls asleep everyday on our afternoon walk.

As far as being in the high percentiles on the growth chart. My daughter is as well in the high 90's and I do nurse her every 2 hours, even now at the age of 6m. And that is only because we have yet to start her on solid food. - a different issue. So your son is very hungry and will def. need more milk being that he is growing faster than the average infant.

Lastly, a little tip passed down from generations in my family.
Babies under 6m old only cry for 5 reasons.

1. Their hungry
2. They need to be changed
3. They are tired
4. They need love
5. They are ill and need a doctors attention.

If you have this list in your mind and check off each item until you find which need the baby is crying for, then you can attend to it.

If Baby is happy Mommy is happy and v.s....
Best of luck, and remember babies need more love than we could ever imagine.

Hi A.,
I agree with Elaine, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" has been my "bible" on sleep training. I wasn't able to breast feed but I always had a pre-nap routine and bedtime routine. At the end of the routine, I put my daughter in bed awake or asleep. Then I would leave. Sometimes she would cry a little, but because I was always consistent it never went on long. Dr. Weissbluth calls it protest crying. Of course a child would rather spend time with mom than sleep, but as moms we know that what they want isn't always what they need. His need for sleep is more important for his overall health than spending time with Mommy. A lot of people don't agree with letting a child cry, but I believe it is important for children to learn to self soothe, not needing me to always soothe them. My daughter is a good sleeper, but she does have her days. It sounds like your son is using your breast as a pacifier not as nutrition. Make sure he is going to bed early, say by 6pm. If he become too tired he won't be able to fall asleep and stay asleep. I found that my daughter did best if she started her next sleep time no more than 2 hrs from the time she woke up from the last sleep when she was that age. Good luck and email me if you want more suggestions, heaven knows I've tried them all. :)
L.
PS I believe all children can and will sleep well through the night and at naps if we adjust OUR lives to accommodate them, not forcing them to accommodate ours. It is for a short period in our lives but is SO important for the overall health of the child.

when it hits about nap time you should sart be putting some music on. when babies hear music when they are sleeping they are less likly to wake up at all hours of the night becuase they get so used to the noise. after they start getting used to the music start doing your vaccumeing durring nap time. you also have to make sure they really are exhuated befor you try to put them down. so if you have to spend a lil extra time with em to wear him out and from there it should be a lil easier.

I have a 2 month old and am working with the same issue. I have read "Healthy Sleeping Habits" and several advice columns online also. Overall, don't keep your baby up past two hours. Try the sleep, eat, play, routine. Try swaddling (my little one twitches alot and wakes himself up). Then if you are ok with it, just let your baby cry it out. He is protesting your attention. You may need to use more soothing tools such as a noise maker, radio, black out shade, or even one of your breast pads in the crib. Try not to use strollers, walkers, etc to make him sleep while you are "training" him on self soothing. Also, I read somewhere online that babies will wake up in the middle of their nap, look alert, may fuss, but then will fall asleep again. So don't assume they are awake yet at that point. Good luck!

I used to have a really hard time putting my daughter down as well. What worked for me was to watch for that first yawn. My daughter usually only made it two hours between naps. I would have to swaddle her because she would flail her arms and legs so much it kept her awake. I would then turn on some soft low tempo music and hold her for a few minutes and then lay her down awake. Definitly before she was overly tired or we were in trouble. It would typically take about 15 mins, but she would put herself to sleep. Hope this helps.

Hi A.,

You sound tired!

My daughter is 14 months, still breastfeeding. Your son might be going through a growth spurt as my daughter did at the same age, hence the increased eating. Re: short naps and nursing to sleep, please check out "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. Lots of great suggestions that work. She has a section on weaning your baby from nursing to sleep (but I would totally advocate you reconsidering that just yet.....) Her website is www.pantley.com Her personal e-mail is ____@____.com She will e-mail you back.

FYI....when babies get older, and busier, and wrigglier, and squirmier, they are often not in the mood for hugs and cuddles and snuggles very often. I still nurse my baby for naps and going to bed at night, and it is now the only time she holds still enough for me to hold her. This won't last forever....all those people who tell you it goes by fast are right, so I am really savoring the time I am snuggled with her nursing. Babies need superhuman amounts of physical and emotional support....that's why we are so wiped out. It sounds like you are wiped out and need some rest too. I support you breastfeeding your baby, exhausting as it is. When I am nursing my baby for a nap, I have a book handy for when her eyes close. I read for about 15 minutes before I put her in her baby nest (crib). It's how I get my reading time in.

What really goes on for me is I am in a hurry to get my baby to nap so I can "get stuff done". This attitude has been a recipe for anxiety for me. I need to remember that the most important "thing I am getting done" is being with my baby and then prioritize everything else after that... somehow! Even though everything is piling up around me and I often feel anxious and overwhelmed, I am the one who brought this little baby here and I am so happy that she will have memories of falling asleep in my arms. Your baby might not always adore you and cozy up to you this way as he grows up.....but it is easy to look at it as stifling rather than the refuge that it is. There is nothing abnormal about your baby wanting to be close to you.....I do wonder if you are feeling burned out and need some love from you, too.

Best wishes,

L. M.
Novato

A.,
It sounds like you might do well having a set schedule for your son I did that with my first and it worked really well. He was like clockwork and it didn't take more than a week for him to get used to it. Figure out how much time you need between nursing and try to stick to it, it may take a couple days to get him used to it but if you wait about ten minutes longer each time you will be surprised at how soon you will get to your goal time. Your milk and his tummy will even out how much he eats. I fed my son every three and a half to four hours and that seemed to work for him the night time was a little harder because of the dreaded crying it out, but to my surprise he only cried for 20-30 minutes (felt like 2 hours) then fell back to sleep on his own and on the fourth night never even woke up and slept through the night ever since. Then work on getting him to sleep on his own. I found that crying it out works the best with naps and nighttime. Sounds mean but it doesn't take as long as you think and my 9 month old son hates being held too long when he is tires he wants his bed and he (literally) talks and sings himself to sleep.